by Ali Parker
"I'm going to run to the ladies’ room." I stood up and glanced down toward Olivia, trying to give her a look that would urge her to join me.
"Yeah. Me too." She stood up and put her napkin on her plate.
"You girls are weird." Luke shook his head and turned back to Kendal, bringing up another point about his firm.
"Does that guy ever stop talking about himself?" I mumbled as we walked toward the back. I hated to dump on Olivia's man, but there was no way in the deepest parts of hell that she was happy with him. If she was, then she wasn't at all the girl I'd grown up with.
"He's pretty proud of his accomplishments." She pushed the door to the bathroom open. "He keeps trying to get me to come work for him, but I just can't see that being a good idea."
"That's because it's a horrible idea. I think you putting up with him being your boyfriend should get you sainthood." I paused by the mirror and leaned in to check my teeth.
"So you and Kendal seem to be really into each other." Her smile was sweet and yet I could tell she was hurting behind it.
"It's been a roller coaster so far. I met him at the hospital. His sister Amanda was one of my patients. It think I told you that already, right?"
"Some of it, but tell me more. What was wrong with her?"
"She had MS."
"Had?" Olivia's expression tightened.
"She passed away about a week ago." I stepped back from the mirror and turned to face my oldest friend. "He's been having a rough time with it, but I think that's because he lost his mom and dad when he was younger. The poor guy doesn't have anyone but his best friend."
"At least he has that." She ran her hand through her hair and turned toward the mirror. "I didn't mean that the way it came out."
I moved up behind her and wrapped her in a hug before pressing my cheek to the back of her shoulder. She was more of a sister to me than my own sister was. We'd been through so much shit, but her leaving Texas caused a fissure between us. Proximity was power, and I missed her like crazy.
"I miss you too."
"I'm sorry." She let out a shaky breath. "I just keep thinking that I need to get over everything and move on. It's been fucking six years since all that shit with Caden went down. We were just kids for God's sake and yet I look for him everywhere I go."
I moved back and waited for her to turn to face me. "That's because he's living up here in New York now."
"I know." She glanced down and closed her eyes. "I can't shake the fact that he's right around the corner. That if I just keep my eyes open, I'll find him again."
I touched her shoulder gingerly. "Do you really want to open all of that back up?"
She glanced up and shrugged. "I don't know. He's a man now, not a boy. Who knows who he really is or what he's up to? Best to stay with the evil you know than go seeking in the dark for something that could turn out to be bigger and scarier."
I snorted. "I'm not sure Caden would turn out to be anything but a country boy with a great smile in a suit, trying to pretend to be someone he's not."
"Like I'm doing?"
The sadness in her tone tore through me. There had to be something I could do to help.
"So come back home. Move in with me and we'll find you a job in Dallas. There has to be investment firms worth your time down in the south."
"There are, but I can't just up and leave, Dana. My whole life has been built here."
"So rebuild it." I knew she wasn't going to budge until the pain of being stuck in a life that didn't really fit her became overwhelming. How it hadn't for the last six years was a mystery to me, and yet here she was - enduring.
"Maybe in the future." She pulled me into a quick hug. "So you and Kendal just started dating, but things already seem to be going so well."
"He's a professor at UT, remember? I'm a student, so the honest truth behind all of it is that he's not supposed to be dating me. We used this weekend to get away and enjoy each other like we wish we could at home." I shrugged and turned to wash my hands. "We'll get back to Texas on Sunday and things will go back to normal. I think that's why we can't keep our hands off of each other. Back home we really don't have much of a choice. He could lose his job over us being together."
"Oh. Wow." She rubbed the top of my back. "Well, you know that you're welcome to come up here and hang out at my place any weekend you're free."
"I appreciate that." I dried my hands and nodded toward the door. "You ready? They probably thought we fell in."
She chuckled. "I wish. It would be a better ending to the night than having to tell Luke that I'm not sleeping with him."
"No?" I opened the door and walked out with her behind me.
"No. I need a break from him in general. You guys being here is a great excuse. I won't be in your way back at the apartment, but I will be using you as an alibi."
"You need to drop him, Olivia. He's not right for you, and it's obvious, even to you."
"It's good sex." She shrugged. "He's a warm body to hold on to at night and he's got great style and fun friends."
"And I bet you close your eyes and pretend he's Caden, don't you?"
She flinched. "Stop hitting so close to home and mind your own damn business." Her smirk let me know that she wasn't offended, but I knew the truth of the matter. She'd been in love with the same boy our whole lives. Growing up and changing everything about herself wasn't going to change the truth. It would mask it for a time, but it would seem that her mask was growing thin.
Maybe it was time for me to step in and see if I couldn't cause an intervention. A by chance meet up?
I smiled at Kendal before taking my place next to him at the table. He leaned over and pressed his mouth next to my ear as Luke and Olivia fought over who was staying with who later that night.
"What are you up to? I can see something nefarious playing behind your pretty eyes."
"Really?" I moved back and studied his face, falling even more in love with him. I reached out and touched his cheek softly as my heart fluttered in my chest. "I just want Olivia to find happiness."
"Like we have?" His voice was low, soothing, delicious.
"Exactly." I leaned in and pressed my lips to his as the world disappeared.
It was weird to be twenty-four and understand for the first time ever what love not only looked like, but what it felt like too.
The realization made me want to fight even harder to make sure it remained mine.
What would I give up for us to be together? Everything.
*
We suffered through dessert and finally headed back to Olivia's place. By the silence in the front seat, it was more than obvious that Luke was pissy over Olivia denying him.
I couldn't handle the silence anymore. It was driving me mad.
"Olivia. You remember during our junior year when your mom and dad let us throw that party out on your father's back forty?" I snorted as memories raced through my mind, leaving me to feel young again - adventurous.
"How could I forget?" She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. "It iced over that winter and we skated on the old pond for hours, busting our asses until we were covered in bruises."
"You guys are talking about 2008, aren't you? I remember being in college and me and Damon enjoying that freeze. It was nuts for Texas. All the schools closed and businesses took the day off."
"And this is an unusual phenomenon?" Luke's tone was less than friendly.
"Absolutely." Olivia turned to face him. "It usually gets cold back home, but nothing like it did that week. We had such a good time."
I snuggled against Kendal and glanced up at him, grateful that he was mine. I wanted to know everything about him, to dig out all of the skeletons from his closet and help patch up his hurts if he still had any.
How close we'd come to not being anything more than acquaintances.
"We're here," Luke announced. "You guys enjoy the rest of your weekend. I'll see you next week?"
Olivia nodded. "Sounds good."
I got out of the car and turned back to watch her try to pull herself together. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to my side as Kendal opened the door for us.
"You could always get in my suitcase, you know." I kissed the side of her head as she chuckled.
"I might do that." She pulled away from me. "I'm going to check in with the front desk to see if I have mail. I'll see you guys in the morning."
"You sure?" I reached for her.
"Yes, honestly. I'm good." She forced a smile before waving at Kendal and turning to walk toward the front of the luxury apartment complex. Her shoulders were rounded in and her head slightly down. I almost hated Luke without really knowing him.
"She needs to get out of that relationship." Kendal wrapped his arms around the top of my shoulders. "She seems like a good woman."
"She is. She's just forgotten somehow." I pulled out of his hold and walked to the elevator. "Tell me about the situation with Bethany and Damon. You never filled me in. What happened?"
"I really don't know." Kendal moved into the elevator and pressed himself to the front of me. "I've been so lost in my own shit that I haven't reached out. Make me do that when we get home."
"Oh, and I meant to tell you, I met your other TA, Jake?"
"Yeah. Jake's a great kid. He's in the honors fraternity that I have to take over when we get back." He brushed my hair back from my neck and leaned down to suck softly at my skin.
"What honors fraternity? You didn't tell me about that." Warmth pooled in the center of my stomach, and I couldn't help but hope for a night that mimicked our afternoon.
"Beta Alpha Psi is the name of the group." He moved back and adjusted himself. "Unfortunately, Mark wants me to work with Heather as a co-adviser."
"Heather? The other professor that's trying to get in your pants?" Ice water hit my veins, effectively taking away any desire to strip down. Was Kendal really going to put himself in a situation like that? Could he help it? Maybe he didn't have any say over the matter.
"Yes." He moved out into the hall and stopped in front of Olivia's door to punch in the code. "I'm going to try to get her to take a handful of events for the group, and I'll take the other. There's no reason for the two of us to be at an event together. It's inefficient."
"And something she would be totally interested in." I hated how my voice betrayed the concern pumping through me.
"And she'd be the only one." He closed the door and moved toward me, surprising me as he bent over and swept me into his strong arms.
"Put me down! You're going to hurt yourself."
"Hush, woman. You don't weigh anything and I'm a big country boy, remember?"
I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Can you be my big country boy?"
"I already am." He leaned down and kissed me before walking into the bedroom we'd stained with our lust earlier that day. "You have nothing to worry about with Heather, Dana. I'm all yours. We just need to get through these next few months and we can start living the life we want to live."
"Together?" I couldn't even imagine how good it would feel to let the couple we were able to be in New York be us back home. Would I become friends with Damon and Bethany? With all of Kendal's other friends from college? It was like being offered a whole new place to belong. I loved it.
"Absolutely." He put me down and reached for my dress. "Now... no more talking. I still have unexplored places that are begging for my attention."
I glanced down as my cheeks grew hot. "They are?"
"Mmmhmmm." He pulled his shirt over his head and nodded toward the bed. "Get up there on your hands and knees for me. I'll show you every one of them."
There was nothing left to say. I wanted exactly what he was willing to give - so damn bad it hurt.
Chapter 14
Kendal
I shouldn't have brought work with me to New York, but something told me that Dana would be a late sleeper. It had to be her laid back persona. Seeing that I usually woke up at five on the dot unless the world was falling apart around me, I knew I'd have a few hours to myself to get some grading done.
After kissing her back and shoulders a few times in the darkness of the early morning, I slipped on my jeans and t-shirt and snuck out into the living room with my briefcase.
The coffee pot in the kitchen was set to go off in two hours, but I quickly adjusted it and made myself comfortable at the kitchen table. I plowed through a handful of grading assignments before I heard someone moving around behind me.
I glanced up and peeked over my shoulder to see Olivia standing in front of the coffee pot.
"I started it about an hour ago." I stood up and stretched as I turned to face her.
"Oh good. I usually let myself sleep in on Saturdays and use Sundays to catch up on all the work I didn't get done from the week before." She rubbed at her eyes before tugging her robe closer. "Let me go put something on."
"Don't do it for me. You're all covered up and it's your place. You deserve to be comfortable." I picked up my empty coffee mug and walked into the kitchen. "Thanks for letting us crash here. I love the place. It's elegant and in the perfect location for being downtown."
"Of course." She poured herself a cup of coffee and moved out of the way to lean against the counter beside me. "I miss home a lot more than I'd ever let on."
"I think you're fooling yourself." I lifted my cup to my lips.
"What? Why? You don't think I miss it?" She gave me a quirky smile. We could be friends for sure. She had a pureness to her that shone like a beacon. I could see why Dana was invested in her. She was good people.
"No, I'm sure you miss it. Hell, I miss it and I've been gone a day." I leaned back against the counter nearest me. "I’m just saying that it’s hard to leave part of who you are somewhere and try and start over."
Her eyes flashed with recognition. "It hurts like hell."
"I know." I shook my head and set my coffee down. "I never left home, but I'm a very different man than I was in my younger years. Being that guy still haunts me and yet I miss parts of him so damn much."
"Tell me about him." Her smile spread across her face as if she were preparing for something great.
"He was a whore, firstly." I chuckled as she did. "He wanted the world to bow down to him and he was beyond passionate about everything."
"So leave the whore part and the egomaniac and find your passion again." She took a sip of her coffee and studied me.
"I think I'm doing just that. Dana's like a fresh breath of air for me. I haven't dated for six years because it's hard to meet people when you're working all the damn time."
"Don't I know it?" She moved from the counter and walked to sit down at the kitchen table. She glanced down at my stack of papers and smiled. "Are you passionate about accounting?"
"Actually, yes. I love puzzles and the structure they provide. The final picture at the end is usually worth the effort to get it there." I moved toward the table, but remained standing. "I honestly never thought I would end up teaching, but when I chose that path, it just fit. It's part of who I am now."
"And does it scare you to let that part go?" She glanced up at me.
I had to think about my response for a few minutes. If she'd have asked me before meeting Dana, I wouldn't have hesitated in telling her that it scared me shitless, but now... I wasn't sure.
"I don't know." I moved around the table and sat down as the door opened down the hall. "I think in the past my job defined who I was. It was the only good thing about me, but that's changing because of Dana."
"You guys talking about me?" She padded out into the living room in a t-shirt and panties. Her dark hair was a holy hell mess, and fuck if I didn't love it.
"Always." Olivia glanced over her shoulder toward my girl. "There's coffee in the kitchen. Get a cup and join us."
"How long have you been up?" Dana walked over toward me and leaned down to kiss me a few times before moving slowly toward the kitchen.
"For
a couple of hours. I'm used to getting up early in the morning. I used to jog all the time, but over the last few months I've slipped out of the habit."
"I wanna start jogging." Dana glanced over her shoulder at me.
"We can do it together after you graduate." I settled back in my chair to find Olivia watching me. "What?"
"That just sucks. It’s still eight months away. That's a lifetime."
"Tell me about it." Dana groaned as she walked back into the dining room to join us.
"Then say to hell with the rules and do what you feel is best for the two of you." Olivia glanced between the two of us.
My phone rang from down the hall, giving me a chance to get out of having to discuss my situation all over again. It would inevitably lead to me talking about the situation with Ana and my other students, which was something I'd be grateful to never talk about again.
"My phone's ringing. Let me grab it and Dana can explain." I jogged down the hall and closed the door behind me before scooping it up. Damon. "What's up, buddy?"
"Where the hell are you? I'm sitting outside of your house and you're not here. Did you sleep over at Dana's place?" He sounded more curious than perturbed.
"Oh fuck. I totally forgot to tell you that I was going out of town." We played golf every Saturday morning with Damon's younger brother Matt. We'd been doing it for years. How could I have forgotten?
"You get a mulligan for this one, but know I'm due some serious payback. I left a sexy woman in a white g-string to come get your dumb ass." He grunted and threw a few more punches at me.
"Please don't tell me what Bethany wears under her clothes. She's my fucking TA." I stood up and walked toward the window to pull back the curtains. The sun was sitting in the far side of the sky, and the city was empty, which was odd.
"Where are you? And who are you with?"
"Well, mother... I'm in New York with Dana. I took your advice. We're going to sneak around for the time being until we figure out what our best course of action is."
