I don’t know if I can do this.
I close my eyes for a moment and think of Sam. I see her smile and the way she was with the kids at the organisation. I see of the way she hops up excitedly when she’s really happy about something. I map her body in my mind, remembering every freckle, every curve, every bone and muscle in her body. I’m anchoring all those memories in my mind. I might never see her again.
When I open my eyes again, all three of them are staring at me. I turn to Victoria and shake my head.
“I get why they’re doing this,” I say, pointing to my parents. “They’ve been wanting to go into politics since before I was born. But you?? What have you got to gain? Why are you doing this?”
She takes a step towards me and reaches her hand towards my face. I flinch away, not letting her fingertips touch my cheek. She grins.
“Poor, sweet, innocent Dean. You have no idea how rich you are, do you?”
“Is that what this is about? Money?”
“What else would it be about?” she snarls. “You think I’d actually want to be with you? Come on, Dean, grow up. You dress up like a fucking clown on the weekends.”
The words sting. I’ve always known that none of them understand why I do the children’s parties. I’ve always known that none of them have a generous bone in their bodies. But to have it thrown in my face like it’s something to be ashamed of?
Sam’s face appears in my head again. I see how happy she was when her boss agreed to let me give clown classes at the organisation.
She gets it.
Not only does she get it, she lives it. Her whole life is dedicated to doing what I do for a couple hours a week: helping kids. She lives to give them just a bit of joy in any way she can.
“Right, so, the lawyer is almost done with the papers,” my mother says, taking a step towards us. “We’ll go to the courthouse tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow!” I exclaim, turning to my mother. She sighs and rolls her eyes at me.
“Did you think you’d have time to change your mind? Yes, tomorrow. You will be married and you will do as we say, or else that sweet girlfriend of yours will pay the price.”
I stare at my mother and feel something I’ve never felt before. I think it’s hatred. I look at her perfectly manicured nails, her made-up face and her impeccable hair and all I see is fakeness. All I see is lies.
Hatred feels different than anger. It’s stronger and more calm at the same time. My mother snarls and then relaxes. The heat of my hatred crawls down my spine and resting in the pit of my stomach. I can feel the blood pumping through my veins as my eyes swing from my mother to my father to my fiancee.
All three of them are completely relaxed, completely confident in their total victory over me. The blood pumps through my veins and my hatred curls from my stomach and expands in my chest. My father reclines in his chair and takes a deep breath that feels like a slap in the face. Victoria leans on the desk and my mother pats her hair down for the thousandth time.
I could scream. I could flip the whole desk over and smash this chair through the window. I could knock every book off the bookshelf and trash this entire office. I could go berserk and not calm down till the police came and tasered me.
I could, but I don’t.
I think of Sam, and I know I can’t. I think of Sam, and I know I have to stay here, sitting quietly, learning what true hatred feels like. I think of Sam, and I know that if I let go of her in my heart then that hatred will consume me.
I close my eyes and they start to fill with tears. I hear Sam’s voice and hear her laugh. I can just about smell that perfume that I came to love. I hang onto every detail that I can remember, hang onto it before I’m overcome by my own hatred.
A deep, raking breath brings me back to the present. My father is saying something, and Victoria is looking at some papers of some sort. I should be listening, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll sign whatever they tell me to sign, I’ll do whatever they tell me to do as long as I know they won’t hurt Sam.
They have me where they want me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
All three of them turn to the door and stand up when it opens. I don’t have the energy. I don’t care who’s there or what they have to say. It doesn’t matter.
It’s not until I take a deep breath that I smell the faintest hint of that floral perfume. My eyebrows draw together ever so slightly and something wakes up inside me. And then, like a breath of fresh air, she speaks.
“Hi, Dean.”
I turn around slowly and see her silhouetted in the doorway. She looks as fierce as a lion, standing tall as she faces my parents and Victoria. My voice is just a croak as I say the name that’s been on my lips for the past two months.
“Sam.”
Chapter 41 – Samantha
I can’t even look at Dean. I know if I look at him, my courage might falter and I won’t be able to do what I came here to do. I glance from Dean’s mother to her father to the woman – Victoria. I know her name now. My whole body is trembling but I keep my gaze steady and my lips in a tight, thin line.
“Mr. Shelby, Mrs Shelby, Victoria,” I say slowly. “I was hoping to find at least one of you here.”
“What do you want?” Mrs Shelby barks. “I told you to mind your business. Don’t you know Dean doesn’t want you anymore? He had his fun and now it’s over. Tell her, Dean!”
I force myself not to look at Dean. I keep my eyes steady on Victoria. Dean clears his throat.
“She’s.. She’s right, Sam. It’s over.”
The words pierce my heart and the pain radiates through my chest but I still don’t look at him. It can’t be true. I hang on to Jess’s words and I squeeze my hands into fists. I keep my eyes on Victoria and pull out the envelope of pictures.
“Is this supposed to convince me?”
Dean makes a noise but I ignore him. Mrs. Shelby starts cackling.
“Don’t be so desperate, girl. You heard him. It’s over.”
“It’s only over because you said it was over,” I say, swinging my eyes over to her. She takes a step backwards as if the force of my gaze is too much and I stand up ever so slightly taller. The tension in the air is thick and the room is completely silent except for my long, measured breaths. “Isn’t it?”
Dean’s mother spreads her stance and crosses her arms. She lifts her chin towards me and curls her lip into a snarl.
“So you’re not as stupid as I thought you were,” she barks. She cackles again and shakes her head, taking a step towards me. I stand my ground. “You don’t belong in this world. Dean had his fun but now it’s time for him to do his duty. Leave, and never come back, or else you know the consequences.”
I try not to shiver at her words and take another breath.
“I’ll leave, and I’ll never come back. I’ll never speak to Dean again,” I say, trying to make my voice ring true. “I just want to hear it from you. Tell me he’s with Victoria because you told him to be.”
This time Victoria speaks. She spits her words at me with such venom it takes all my strength not to take a step back.
“That’s right. He’s here because he belongs here. With our two families joined, nothing will be able to stop us. He’s a weak, pathetic man and if his parents weren’t so rich I wouldn’t even let him take my order at a restaurant. But I’ll marry him and my family will carry his father’s political career straight to the top. And I’ll fuck whoever I want to fuck and crush his little heart over and over just because I can. So leave.”
I try not to flinch at her words. I take a deep breath, swinging my eyes back to his mother.
“Thank you,” I say slowly. “It’s nice to hear the truth.”
His mother laughs again. “The truth! The only truth is that our two families will run this city before the end of the year. Now get out.”
My whole body is shaking and I spin on my heels. I hurry out of the office, rushing to the elevators and mashing the butt
ons to go downstairs. Once they open in the lobby, Jess rushes towards me.
“Did you get it?” she asks, breathlessly. “Are you ok?”
“I knew it,” I say. “I fucking knew it. I knew those pictures had to be fake.”
I pull out my phone and replay the recording I took. Just like we tested earlier, their voices are clear and you can hear every word that was said in that room. We look at each other and grin. My heart is pounding against my chest and I play the recording again.
“There it is,” I breathe. “They admit it all. Threatening me, forcing him to get married, plotting to work together for politics. It’s all there.”
“Come on,” Jess says. “Let’s bury the bastards. Let’s go to the police.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can still see Dean out of the corner of my eye, head in hand as he sits slumped in that chair. He looked completely defeated, and his voice was dead when he told me he didn’t want to see me. They have something over him, he was terrified. What would happen if I went to the police?
I shake my head. “We can’t. What would they charge them with? Harassment? They haven’t done anything wrong, not yet anyways. Nothing that we can prove. They have an army of lawyers and probably the police on their payroll. She got my divorce papers somehow, and she scared Dean into saying he didn’t care about me. I don’t know who they are, but they scare me. No, we can’t go to the police.”
“So what do you want to do? Sam, are you sure this is worth it? Maybe you should just let it go. Don’t tell him about the baby, do it on your own. I’ll help. Don’t put yourself in danger for this guy!”
Jess’s face is full of concern. She puts a hand to her cheek and shakes her head. I know what she’s saying, and I get it. I just don’t agree. I can’t let Dean go, I can’t turn my back on him and forget everything that’s gone on between us. I’ve never met a man so genuine, a man who cares about me so much and who shares the same passions as I do. I’ve never met someone who can be a billionaire and a children’s party clown on the same day. I’ve never met anyone who can make me laugh as easily or make me feel as good about myself.
I’ve never loved anyone like I love him. I can’t let him go. I won’t.
I look at the phone in my hand and take a deep breath. I know what I need to do. I need to beat them at their own game.
“What do you want to do, Sam?” Jess repeats.
I grin and pull out a business card I grabbed on the way out.
“Blackmail.”
Chapter 42 – Dean
My heart is broken. Shattered. There’s a million shards of it floating inside me sending searing pain through my whole body.
Sam walked out the door and now I’m finished. I’m done. It’s over. My life is completely over. She heard the truth, and she accepted it. I glance from my father to my mother to Victoria and I feel nothing but disgust. Disgust and hatred.
My father lifts his eyes to me and I see nothing in them. No regret, no love, no care. Nothing but coldness.
“You three are sociopaths,” I finally say, shaking my head and leaning back in my chair. “You’re complete sociopaths. Or psychopaths. I don’t know the difference. You’re fucked up.”
“Oh shut up, Dean,” Victoria says as she rolls her eyes. She flicks her hair behind her shoulder and raises an eyebrow towards me. “It’s over.”
“I know it’s over, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re all fucking psychopaths.”
“Where were we?” My mother asks a bit too loudly. “Henry, let’s see the draft prenup agreement. Victoria, you’ve had a chance to review this?”
Victoria nods and my mother hands me the papers. I start scanning them and let out a gargled noise at the second page.
“A baby clause?! You want her to carry my child? You expect me to have sex with this fucking monster?” I say, waving the papers towards Victoria. “I agreed to marry her, I didn’t agree to sleep with her!”
“You’ll do what it says, Dean,” my father growls. My eyes flick back to him and I shake my head.
“I can’t. I can’t fuck her. I can’t even fucking look at her without dry heaving!”
“You never had a problem fucking me before,” Victoria snarls.
“Yeah well that was before you cheated on me, you conniving bitch.”
The vitriol in my voice surprises me. It’s not like me to talk like this, or to feel like this. I’ve never had such hatred inside me. I thought my heart was broken when I found Victoria in my bed, but I was wrong. It’s broken now. This is what it feels like. It’s not just my heart that’s broken, it’s my whole soul, my whole being. The void that’s been left behind is quickly filling with nothing but anger and bitterness. That sour loathing is starting to poison everything inside me.
Maybe I should just embrace it. If I’m going to be living in their world, I should become one of them. How else will I survive?
I don’t even know what’s happening. I sign some papers – the prenup, maybe. I’m in a daze. I’m led back outside and I get in the same car. Ronnie and his accomplice are still sitting in the front seat. We drive, and soon I’m back at the motel where they had me this morning.
No words are spoken between us as they drag me up to the same room. I get in and sit on the edge of the bed. I stare at the brown stain on the floor and take a deep breath.
This is it. This is my life now.
Sam’s face appears in my head and I shake it away. I can’t think of her, it’ll only make me feel worse. I should just forget about her. It’s for the best.
I sit on the edge of the bed until a the door opens. I look up, surprised to see the street lights on. I must have been sitting here for hours. Ronnie steps in with a styrofoam box. I smell food as he lifts the box up towards me.
“Dinner,” he says. I grunt in response. He drops it on the little round table by the door and turns to leave.
“Wait!” I call out. He pauses and turns towards me. We stare at each other for a few moments until my face twists and I feel like my heart is breaking all over again.
“Why, Ronnie?” I finally croak. His eyes narrow and his lips press into a thin line. He stares at me for a long time and then glances out the door before closing it.
“What do you mean?” he answers.
“I mean why are you doing this? Why are you working for my mother? Don’t you see that you’re hurting Sam?”
Ronnie’s face falls and he shakes his head.
“I didn’t think it would go this far. She said she could get me a better settlement in the divorce if I helped her. And I saw you with her and you were making her laugh. You know how she looks when she laughs?” he looks at me and his face contorts. “I never thought that…” his voice trails off and he stares at the brown stain on the ground that I’ve been looking at for hours. He sighs.
“She’s a monster,” I finally say. “My mother. She’s a monster. You should get as far away as possible.”
Ronnie looks back up at me and all I see is pain in his face.
“I made a mistake. I lost everything. I couldn’t…” his voice trails off and he looks through me. I watch his face harden. He stands up a bit taller and turns towards the door.
“Wait, Ronnie!” I call out. “Wait!”
The door slams.
“Fuck!” I exclaim. He doesn’t want to be doing this. He thinks he has to, maybe he’s in too deep. Maybe my mother knows too much about his past and his divorce. I shake my head. I thought we were understanding each other, I thought maybe he’d let me go. Maybe he’d let me call Sam.
I stare at the styrofoam box of food and finally get up off the bed. I flick it open to see a chicken drumstick and a pile of rice. I sigh, pushing the rice around with a plastic fork. I don’t feel like a billionaire right now. I leave the food and fall down onto the bed. My eyes trace the outline of the water stains on the ceiling over and over until my eyelids get heavy and I fall asleep.
> Chapter 43 – Samantha
“Samantha Jane,” Jess says with her hands on her hips. “You cannot blackmail the Shelbys. That’s insane! You’ll get yourself killed.”
I look at my best friend and shake my head. “I have to,” I say. “It’s the only way to get Dean out of this.”
“Fuck Dean!” she exclaims. “Seriously! Think of yourself! Think of the baby! You need to get away from these people. RUN.”
Heads start to turn, so she grabs my arm and drags me out of the lobby. We head towards her car. I get into the passenger’s seat, clutching my phone against my chest and then playing the recording again.
“Honestly, Jess, this would ruin a political career. Imagine the headlines: Billionaire Family Threaten Non-Profit Children’s Worker,” I say, fanning my arm out in front of me. Jess slams her door and shakes her head.
“Imagine this headline: Body of Deceased Non-Profit Worker Found in the Hudson River.”
She raises an eyebrow and starts the car. I nod. She has a point. They’re obviously dangerous, and they’ve had these plans for a while. I have no idea what I’m up against. All I have is one measly recording. We start driving and pass a car in the parking lot.
“Jess! Is that Ronnie!?” I exclaim, craning my neck to see into the car. Jess slows to a stop and looks over. There are two men in the front of the car. They’re talking to each other and looking towards the building. Jess looks at me, her face drawn with worry.
“What is he doing here?”
“Pull over up here. Let’s see what they do,” I say, pointing to a side road just ahead. Jess nods and turns the car around so we have a view of the front of the building. We say nothing to each other as we watch the other car. Jess sighs.
“This doesn’t feel good, Sam. This feels very very bad.”
I nod. There’s a lump in my throat. She’s right, it feels very bad. I look down at my phone and take a deep breath. Maybe she’s right. Maybe this is too dangerous, and I should just run.
“How do you know Dean even wants to be saved? Didn’t you say that he told you it was over? And those pictures…”
“They’re not real! They admitted it up there. They told me that they were just using him.”
Knocked Up by the Billionaire's Son: A Secret Baby Romance Page 15
