He could imagine, but... She was heavy lifting at work?
‘And then I come home here and you’ve been working on my lovely cottage and am I grateful? No, not a bit of it!’ She stiffened and then swung to him. ‘I mean, I am grateful. Truly I am. But how on earth are you to know that when I keep acting like a shrew?’
Her earnestness made him smile. ‘I know you are.’
She shook her head, her wild curls fizzing up all around her. ‘How can you possibly know that when all I do is yell and say cruel things? I’m so sorry, Ryan. Even as I’m saying them a part of me is utterly appalled, but I can’t seem to make myself stop. I just...’ She swallowed. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’
‘I do.’
She stared at him. She folded her arms. ‘You do?’
He tried not to let her incredulity sting. ‘It’s not that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s just your body is being flooded with pregnancy hormones. What you’re feeling is natural. I read about it on the Net.’
She straightened. ‘I should be able to deal with hormones. I should be able to get the better of them and not let them rule me.’
‘Why? When your breasts are feeling sore, can you magically wish that soreness away just by concentrating hard?’
‘Well, of course not, but that’s different.’
‘It’s exactly the same,’ he countered. ‘It’s a physical symptom, just like morning sickness.’ From what he could tell, pregnancy put a woman’s body completely through the wringer. He wished he could share some of the load with her, or carry it completely, to spare her the upheaval it was causing.
‘So...’ She moistened her lips. ‘It’ll pass?’
‘Yep.’
‘When?’
Ah, that was a little more difficult to nail down. She groaned as if reading that answer in his face. ‘What am I going to do? If I keep going on like this I’m not going to have any friends left.’
It was an exaggeration, but it probably felt like gospel truth to her. He aimed for light. ‘I could lock you up here in the cottage until it passes.’
Her lips twitched. ‘It’s one solution,’ she agreed. ‘My brothers, though, might take issue with that approach.’ A moment later she bit back a sigh that speared straight into his gut. ‘I guess I’m just going to have to ride it out.’
He stood, lifted her feet so that she lay lengthwise on the sofa, and moved across to grab his laptop. ‘There’re a couple of things we can try.’ He came back and crouched down next to the coffee table. ‘Meditation is supposed to help.’
She rose up on her elbows. ‘Meditation?’
He gestured for her to lie back down. ‘I downloaded a couple of guided meditations in case you wanted to try one to see if you thought it might help.’
‘Oh.’ She lay back down. ‘Okay.’
He clicked play and trickling water and birdcalls started to sound. He moved back towards the dining table.
‘Ryan?’
He swung back.
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
She shook her head. ‘I mean for everything. For understanding and not holding my horridness against me. You’re really lovely, you know that?’
His throat thickened.
‘I don’t want you to move into the village, okay? It’s nice to have...a friend here.’
A low melodic voice from his computer instructed her to close her eyes and she did, not waiting for his reply. Which was just as well because he wasn’t sure he could utter a single word if his life depended on it.
He moved to sit at the dining table and suddenly realised that with his laptop already in use, he had nothing to do—couldn’t lose himself in work as he’d meant to do. Pursing his lips, he glanced around. He’d start the dishes except he didn’t want the clattering to disturb her.
Biting back a sigh, he pulled a magazine towards him—some kind of interior decorating magazine that Marianna must’ve picked up at some point...and left lying around the place. Instead of focusing on the magazine, though, he found his attention returning again and again to the woman on the sofa. He clocked the exact moment she fell asleep. He tiptoed across to cover her with a throw blanket, before moving straight back to his seat at the table where he wouldn’t be in danger of reaching out to trace a finger down the softness of her cheek.
No touching. She’d said it was nice having a friend. He had to work on being that friend. Just a friend.
She slept for an hour. He registered the exact moment she woke too. ‘How are you feeling?’ he asked when she turned her head in his direction.
She stretched her arms back behind her head. ‘Good. Really good.’
She sat up and smiled and he knew he had sunny Marianna back for the moment. He gestured. ‘I’ve been looking through your magazines at the pictures you have marked.’
She leapt up, grabbed a jug of water from the fridge and poured them both a glass before moving across to where he sat. She left the jug on the bench top. He forced himself to stay in his seat and to not go and put it back in the fridge.
‘Do you like any of them?’
He dragged his gaze from the offending jug and nodded. She had great taste. If one discounted that awful yellow she’d chosen for the kitchen walls.
She moistened her lips, not meeting his eye. ‘Did you look at the pictures of the nurseries?’
Those were the ones he was looking at now. He angled the magazine so she could see. Her eyes went soft. ‘They’re lovely, aren’t they?’
His heart started to hammer in his chest. Never in a million years had he thought he’d be looking at pictures of nurseries. He ran a finger around the collar of his T-shirt. ‘Have you decided what kind of style and colour scheme you want in there yet?’
‘I can’t make up my mind between a nice calm colour that’ll aid sleep or something vibrant that’ll stimulate the imagination. I’ve been researching articles on the topic.’
Her enthusiasm made him smile. ‘You’re putting a lot of thought into this.’
She pushed her hair behind her ears. ‘It’s important and...’
‘And?’
‘I want my—our—baby to be happy. I want to give it every possible advantage I can.’
He stared at her. How long would their baby’s welfare be important to her, though?
‘Do you have any thoughts?’
Her question pulled him back. ‘Personally I’d go for a calm colour because that’s what I’d like best. I don’t know what a baby would prefer.’ He frowned. ‘You could go with a calm colour on the walls and brighten the room up with a striking decal and a colourful mobile and...and accessories, couldn’t you?’
‘Hmm...’ she mused. ‘The best of both worlds perhaps?’
It warmed something inside him that she took his suggestion seriously. Still... What did he know? He knew nothing about this parenthood caper. ‘It seems to me one needs a lot of equipment for a baby.’
‘Ooh, yes, I know.’ She rubbed her hands together, her eyes dancing. ‘Shopping for the baby is going to be so much fun.’
Shopping in his experience was a necessary evil, not fun. Speaking of which... ‘Marianna, where will I find the closest hardware store?’
‘Ah.’ She nodded.
He didn’t point out that Ah wasn’t an answer. He wanted Sunny Marianna hanging around for as long as possible.
‘What do you have planned for Saturday?’ she asked.
That was the day after tomorrow. He considered his work schedule. He had two video-conferencing calls tomorrow plus a detailed report to write by the end of next week. Saturday he’d planned... He glanced back at Marianna and gestured to the cottage. ‘I was hoping to be painting by then.’
‘Have you ever been to Siena?’
He shook his head. If that was where the nearest hardware store was, then he hoped it wasn’t too far away.
‘It’s only an hour away. Write up a list of things that we need and we’ll make a day of
it.’
‘Right.’ Shopping. Yay.
Her smile slowly dissolved. She stared at him, twisting her hands together for a bit and he hoped he hadn’t let his lack of enthusiasm show. He found a smile. ‘Sounds good.’
Her fingers moved to worry at the collar of her shirt. She half grimaced, half squinted at him. ‘Ryan, do you want to be present at the birth?’
He froze. Um...
‘There’s an information evening about...stuff coming up soon.’
How on earth had they gone from shopping to the birth? ‘What stuff?’
‘Like birthing classes.’
He didn’t know what to say.
‘I’m going to need a birthing partner.’
It became suddenly hard to breathe. ‘Are you asking me to be your birthing partner?’ What kind of time commitment would that demand?
Her eyes narrowed. ‘No. I’m asking you to attend an information evening so we’ll have all the available facts and can then make an informed decision about birthing classes and who I might want present at the labour.’
He thought about it. It didn’t seem like much to ask. ‘Right.’ He nodded.
Her hands went to her hips. ‘Is that a yes or a no?’
‘It’s a—yes I’ll attend the information evening. When is it?’
‘This Monday. Six-thirty.’
He pulled out his phone and put it in his electronic diary. He slotted the phone back into his pocket. ‘Got it.’
* * *
‘The town centre is heritage-listed,’ Marianna said, gesturing around the Piazza del Campo. This was the real reason she’d brought Ryan to Siena—to have him experience something spectacular in an effort to make up for all he’d had to put up with from her for the last few days. So much for her resolve to give him a homey, welcoming environment. She’d been acting like a temperamental diva. He’d been incredibly patient and adult in the face of it.
Not to mention controlled. She bit back a sigh. If only she could channel some of that control.
Now, though, she had the satisfaction of seeing his eyes widen as he completed a slow circle on the spot to take in the full beauty and splendour of the town square. ‘It’s amazing.’
‘Would you like to see the duomo?’ Siena Cathedral. ‘It’s a three-minute walk away.’
At his nod, she led him across the Piazza del Campo and down one of the shady avenues on the other side, detailing a little of the history of the city for him, before eventually leading him to the cathedral.
They gazed at the medieval façade for a long moment, neither saying a word. Eventually Marianna led him through one of the smaller side doors and had the satisfaction of hearing his swift intake of breath. White and greenish-black marble stripes alternated on the walls and columns, creating a magnificent backdrop for the cool and hushed interior. She watched him as he studied everything with a concentrated interest that reminded her of the way he’d explored the underwater wonders of Thailand on their scuba-diving expeditions. It reminded her of the way he’d explored her body during those warm fragrant evenings afterwards.
Something inside her shifted.
Catching her breath, she tried to hitch it back into place. Over and over in her mind she silently recited: Do not fall for him. Do not fall for him.
She couldn’t fall for Ryan. It had the potential to ruin everything. It had the potential to ruin her child’s relationship with him and she couldn’t risk that.
She lifted her chin. She wouldn’t risk that. It’d be selfish, wilful and wrong. What she could do, though, was give Ryan a taste of home and hearth, a sense of how family worked. That was what would be best for their baby.
She turned to look at him and snorted. Fall for him? Not likely. She could never fall for someone so controlled, someone so cold.
He wasn’t like that in Thailand.
Maybe not, but that was an aberration, remember?
‘What’s wrong?’
She snapped to, to find him staring at her. She dredged up a smile, reminding herself she wanted today to be a treat for him. ‘Nothing, it’s just...’ She glanced around the medieval church. ‘I’ve been here many times, but it amazes me all over again each time I come back.’
The smile he sent her warmed her to her very toes. ‘I can see why.’
They spent two and a half hours wandering around the city and exploring its sights, and Marianna did her best to be cordial and friendly...and nothing more. After a leisurely lunch, though, Ryan reverted to the colder, more distant version of himself. ‘We do need to get supplies at some stage today.’
She bit back a sigh. ‘There’s a hardware store not too far from where we parked the car.’
‘Have you chosen what colour you want for the nursery yet?’ he asked when they walked into the store a little while later.
She shook her head. She hadn’t settled on anything to do with the nursery. In fact, she found herself strangely reluctant to decorate said nursery with Ryan.
‘What?’ he said.
She realised she was staring at him. ‘I... I’m wondering if I shouldn’t leave it and wait until I’ve had my scan.’ She glanced around and then headed down an aisle.
He followed hot on her heels. ‘Scan?’
‘Hmm... If I find out whether I’m having a boy or a girl maybe that will make it easier to personalise the room.’
He didn’t say anything and when she turned to gaze up at him she couldn’t read a single emotion in his face. It worried her, though she couldn’t have said why.
‘You mean to find out the gender of the baby?’
She couldn’t work out if that was censure or curiosity in his voice. ‘I... I, uh, hadn’t made a decision about that yet. There’s no denying it’d make things like decorating and buying clothes easier.’
‘You don’t want it to be a surprise?’
She peered down her nose at him. ‘Ryan, don’t you think there’s been enough of a surprise factor surrounding this pregnancy already?’
He laughed and it eased something inside her. ‘Perhaps you’re right.’
‘If you don’t want to know the sex of the baby, then I can keep it a secret.’
He cocked an eyebrow. ‘You think that’s going to work?’
A chill hand wrapped around her heart. Did he think he could read her so easily?
Her heart started to thump. Maybe he could. She had a tendency to wear her heart on her sleeve while he—he could be utterly inscrutable.
‘If I’m doing the majority of the decorating, don’t you think your choice of colour schemes is going to give the game away?’
The hand clutching her heart relaxed. ‘I could decorate the nursery on my own.’
‘You’re pregnant. You should be taking it easy.’
She loved that excuse when it came to ducking out of the dishes, but... ‘Slapping on a coat of paint can’t be that hard.’
One broad shoulder lifted and a little thrill shot through her at its breadth, its latent strength...its utter maleness. Her mouth started to water. No thrills!
‘But you may as well make use of me while you have me.’
With an abrupt movement, she turned and marched across to an aisle full of decorative decals. It would be unwise to forget that he was only here for a month. And that he hadn’t promised her anything more than help decorating her house. She ground her teeth together. If she could just get her darn hormones under control...
She pulled in a breath and willed the tightness from her body. ‘If you wish to remain in suspense as to our baby’s sex we best go with something neutral.’
‘I didn’t say that I didn’t want to know.’
She left off staring at teddy bear decals to swing around to him, planting her hands on her hips. ‘Well, do you or don’t you?’
‘I, um... I don’t know.’
Helpful. Not. She didn’t say that out loud, though. She’d been doing her best to aim for pleasant and rational and she had no intention of failing now.
&nb
sp; ‘I... I kind of feel you’ve sprung this on me. Not your fault,’ he added hastily, as if he thought his admission would have her losing her temper and hurling something at him. ‘Can I think about it?’
She shrugged. ‘Sure.’ She could hardly blame him for feeling all at sea. This was uncharted territory and she felt exactly the same way. She pulled out one of the rolls. ‘This is nice, isn’t it?’
He took it from her and frowned. ‘You can’t use this in a boy’s room.’
‘Why on earth not? It has teddy bears. Teddy bears aren’t gender specific. And it’s not pink.’ It gleamed in the most beautiful shades of ochre and gold.
‘It has unicorns.’
‘And...?’
He put the roll back on the shelf. ‘Believe me, unicorns are a girl thing.’ He picked up a different decal displaying jungle animals. ‘What about this?’
She pointed. ‘The tiger looks a bit fierce. I don’t want to give the baby nightmares.’
He put it back and she found she didn’t want to talk about nurseries any more, though if pressed she couldn’t have said why. She’d been so excited at the prospect yesterday, but...
Before he could reach for another roll she said, ‘Can I spring something else on you?’
He halted and then very slowly turned to face her. ‘What?’
‘I’m having that scan next week. Would you like to come along?’
‘I’ve a few meetings next week.’ His face closed up. ‘I may even need to spend a day back in Rome, but if I’m free I’ll be more than happy to drive you anywhere you need to go.’
‘That’s not what I meant, Ryan. I have a car. I can drive myself. What I’m asking is if you’d like to be present during the scan.’
He took a step back. ‘I don’t think...’ He looked as if he wanted to turn and flee, but he set himself as if readying for a blow. ‘What do you need me to do? What would you like me to do?’
She had to swallow back the ache that rose in her throat. ‘It doesn’t matter.’ But it did. It mattered a lot.
Reunited by a Baby Secret (The Vineyards of Calanetti, Book 3) Page 7
