by Vi Keeland
Anna piped in. “Next picture, honey!”
Derek pulled another pic from the back of the stack he held in his hand. It was a photo of me and Hunter from their wedding that I’d never seen. I remembered the moment, but had been unaware anyone was capturing it. He’d just cut in while I was dancing with Anna’s dad, and I was insulting him while smiling as I tried in earnest to pretend the way he held me against his body had no effect on me. It was a great candid shot. My head was tilted up to him with a smirk, and he looked down at me with that sexy half-smile he wore so often. There was no mistaking the spark between us.
Hunter and I glanced at each other as Anna spoke. “So, because you two are our people, and we trust you with our lives, we want you to be our daughter’s people if something should happen to us.” She paused. “Last picture, honey.”
Derek shuffled again, and this time it was a picture of baby Caroline. She was dressed in a onesie with a movie logo on it: The Godfather.
“Hunter and Nat, will you be our daughter’s godparents?”
My smile was so wide, it was surprising my face didn’t crack. I jumped from my bar stool and hugged Derek, grabbing the phone and yelling into it at Anna. “Yes! Yes!”
Hunter took the more subdued approach and shook his friend’s hand. “Would be an honor, man.”
After Derek hung up, I asked the bartender to take a picture with my phone of the three of us holding up our mimosas. Then I shot it to Anna. She sent me one back, holding my soon-to-be goddaughter in one arm and her own virgin drink in the other.
“We haven’t finalized a christening date yet, because what started out as a small family gathering, my bride is attempting to turn into our wedding—part two,” Derek joked. “But we were thinking three weeks from Sunday, on the 25th.”
I mentally did the math. My visit to Garrett was on the 10th last month, so that would put my visit this month the weekend before the 17th. “That sounds great. Maybe I’ll pull Izzy out of school that Friday and fly down on Thursday to make a long weekend out of it.” I looked to Hunter. “Do you think you’ll be able to take a day off to fly out early?”
Hunter looked down, and then his gaze met mine. There was an apprehension in his eyes. “I’ll already be out in California.”
“Oh. Okay. I didn’t realize you had another trip planned.” I tried to shrug it off as no big deal, but my hollow-feeling belly got the message before my brain did. “Maybe we can work it out to fly back together.”
Hunter’s voice was solemn, and he reached for my hand. “I won’t be flying back either. Job here in New York will be wrapped up before the christening. My two-month assignment will be done. I’ll be home in California.”
Wow. That hurt. He wasn’t being mean or harsh in any way. In fact, the softness of his tone and the way he’d reached out to touch my hand showed me he knew what the reminder would do to me. But that barely dulled the edginess I felt. I was upset—not necessarily with him. I was upset with myself for letting it bother me so much.
Our relationship had been temporary since the beginning. I’d gone into it with my eyes open. The only problem was, somewhere along the way, I’d also opened up my heart.
Hunter said something and waited for me to respond. I blinked myself back out of my thoughts. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I said, maybe you and Izzy can stay with me for the long weekend?”
“Sure.” I forced a smile. “We’ll see.”
For the next twenty or so minutes, I went through the motions of hanging out with Derek and Hunter. I smiled and laughed, but inside, I was waging the battle of head vs. heart. My head was yelling, He’s leaving—who cares? And my heart was answering—You do, dumbass. You do.
Luckily, we all had plans for the evening, and they didn’t entail spending much more time with each other. Hunter and Derek had the Knicks game, and I needed to head to Mom’s.
“I have to get to dinner. I’m so glad we got to see each other, Derek.” I stood. “Thank you for having me as Caroline’s godmother. Please give my best friend a giant hug for me when you get home.”
Derek stood and gave me a hug. “I will. And I’ll see you next month.”
I turned to Hunter, grateful for a public goodbye and quick escape. “Give me a call,” I said very noncommittally.
Hunter spoke to Derek. “Give me a few minutes. I’m going to walk Natalia out, and then we’ll head to the game.”
“Sure thing.”
So much for a quick escape. With his hand on my lower back, Hunter guided me out of the bar.
I looked at my feet, not wanting him to see what I was feeling written all over my face.
But he cupped my face and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“You didn’t,” I said. But not even my own ears believed me.
He waited me out, knowing eventually I’d have to look up. When our eyes finally met, he spoke into mine. “I care about you, Natalia. It’s not going to be easy for me to leave either. This last month and a half has been great…” His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Especially the last few weeks since I wore you down.”
Maybe hearing that I wasn’t alone should’ve made me feel better. But it was the unsaid that cloaked a feeling of melancholy over me like a suit of armor. It was going to be hard on him to leave…but he wasn’t considering staying either. Nor was there any mention of attempting something long distance. This was over when our time was up.
I forced a small smile. “I’ll give you a call.”
He looked into my eyes, briefly closing his before nodding. “Okay.”
His lips covered mine in a gentle kiss before going to my forehead for another. “Be careful on the trains.”
“Have fun at the game.”
It was difficult to walk away, but I knew I needed to be the one to do it. I felt Hunter’s eyes on me the entire walk down the block to the train station, certain he stayed outside the restaurant to watch me. But I didn’t turn around to check. That was how it was going to have to be between us—I’d need to walk away since he wasn’t going to do anything to stick around in my life.
Chapter 27
Natalia
I hadn’t seen Hunter in five days.
To most couples, that might be normal. Weekdays are busy. I have a teenager to take care of. Then again, we weren’t really a couple, were we? Since Hunter and I had gotten together, we’d never been apart this long. We’d grab a bite to eat, catch one of Izzy’s games, steal a few hours in his bedroom, or even meet for breakfast. It had never been an effort to find the time. Until now. And it wasn’t a lack of effort on his part. I was avoiding him, and he knew it—although he hadn’t yet called me out on it.
But I had a feeling that was about to change as I pressed the buzzer to unlock the front door downstairs. After five days of me saying I was busy and delaying answering his texts, he’d showed up unannounced at my apartment this morning. Conveniently, Izzy had just left for school, and he knew I rarely had appointments before ten o’clock.
I unlocked my apartment door and waited. Hunter stepped off the elevator and walked toward me with purpose. It pissed me off that my body reacted to seeing him when I didn’t want to be excited. And that anger was evident in my snarky tone.
“In the neighborhood and thought you’d drop by to say hello?” I asked. I didn’t open the door to invite him in.
Hunter looked me right in the eyes. “Nope. Came to talk to you. Izzy gone?”
Anger was an emotion I could tolerate. I folded my arms across my chest. “Yes. But I have to get ready for work. You should have called first.”
He took a step closer, into my personal space, and looked down at me. “Why would I have done that? So you could blow me off again?”
A mini stare-off ensued. I refused to back down, even though being so near him made me want to crumble. Straightening my spine, I said, “It’s been fun, Hunter. Let’s not end this on a sour note.”
His eyes bla
zed. “Can we go inside and talk?”
“I’m not sure there’s anything we need to talk about. It was fun. Now it’s over.”
Then he did the one thing I knew I couldn’t withstand—he reached out and cupped my cheek. Stupid tears threatened at the tenderness of his touch.
His thumb stroked my skin. “I’m sorry, Natalia. I really am.”
I swallowed and tasted salt in my throat. “Really? It doesn’t seem that way.”
Hunter closed his eyes. “Can we go inside and talk? Please?”
I nodded, and he followed me into my apartment.
Not ready for the conversation that was to come, I stalled for time and filled the air with anything but silence. “Do you want some coffee?”
“No thanks.”
“I’m going to have some.”
He nodded, and I retreated to the kitchen, hoping that the few minutes it took would help me figure out what I wanted to say. My head swam with emotions, and I was afraid I might choke up if I didn’t rein myself in.
When I returned to the living room, I found Hunter staring out the window. It reminded me of the morning I’d found him outside on his balcony. He was a million miles away.
Sensing me, he turned. “What time is your first appointment?”
I was honest. “Not for a few hours.”
A sad but real smile peeked out from behind the cloud of somber he wore. I was too jittery to have this conversation sitting down, so I didn’t bother to invite him to have a seat before I started in.
I sipped my coffee and feigned innocence. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”
Hunter reached forward and pushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “I like you. A lot, Natalia. I enjoy your company. You’re beautiful and smart…and a smart ass, which oddly, I find ridiculously sexy. And the sex…” He shook his head. “I’d spend every waking moment inside of you, if I could.”
As perfect as that all sounded, I knew it was just the warm-up. I caught his gaze and prompted him. “But…”
“This was supposed to be just sex—have fun for a while.”
That answer infuriated the shit out of me. It was cowardly. “And I was supposed to be married to an honest man who wasn’t a thief. Things don’t always go as planned, do they?”
He dropped his head. “I’m sorry, Natalia.”
“Why?” I bit. “I want to know why.”
He looked up. “Why what?”
“Why you can say all those great things about me—how you like me so much, how good we are together—but then you don’t even attempt to continue this. Is it because we live so far apart?”
“You were dead set against a relationship with any man when this started. You intentionally dated people you didn’t connect with just to keep things on a purely physical level.” He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s all we agreed to.”
“So what?” I raised my voice. “I didn’t agree to be divorced at twenty-eight with a sixteen year old. But here I am. And you know what? I’m happy with what I have, even if it isn’t the fairytale life I thought I’d get. Sometimes you’re planning on driving straight and life takes a left turn, which turns out to be right.”
We stared at each other, and I saw so much in his eyes—sadness, anger, guilt, desire. But most of all, I knew I was looking at a man who had feelings for me. I wasn’t alone in this. Yet something kept him from even attempting anything more.
“It’s not that simple,” he said.
“I didn’t say it was. But rather than try to figure things out, you’ll just say goodbye in two weeks and not look back.”
When he didn’t man up and say anything, it further fueled my anger. I set my coffee on the nearby end table, and my hands went to my hips. “Tell me, will you have a replacement for me by the time I fly out for the christening? How does that look to you? Do I extend my hand and she and I can exchange compliments about each other’s dresses and talk about your stamina?”
“I wouldn’t do that to you…bring another woman to the christening. Christ, I’m not even thinking about another woman, Natalia.”
I tapped my pointer finger to my lips. “Hmm…is that supposed to be a mutual thing? Because what if I want to bring a date?”
That got his attention. His jaw flexed, and I saw a flicker of fury in his eyes. But I wasn’t happy with a flicker; I wanted the full damn flame.
So I pushed. “You asked me if I wanted to stay with you when I come out for the christening. Is my date welcome, too? I mean, would it bother you if we were loud in your guest room? I tend to moan a bit when I’m getting fucked hard.” I paused. “But I guess you know that already, don’t you?”
Hunter’s already rigid jaw clenched so tight, I thought he might possibly crack a pearly white. Yet he still didn’t blow.
I wanted to know the reason he wouldn’t fight for us. I needed to know. Frustrated, I lifted my arms and smacked them down against my sides. “Why did you come here, Hunter?”
“Because I knew you were upset, and you kept blowing me off.”
“So? Did this help you in any way? Did you need to see first-hand that I’m upset or something? Because it certainly hasn’t helped me any.” I turned to storm away, but he gripped my elbow, stopping me.
“Natalia.”
I jerked my arm from his grip and whirled back around so fast, he had to retreat to avoid crashing into me.
“Or did you come for a quick fuck? Is that what you came for?” I started fumbling, undoing the buttons on my shirt. “That’s all it was to begin with anyway, right?”
“Stop it.”
I didn’t. I kept right on going. The third button, then the fourth…
“You deserve more than I can give you.”
That wasn’t an explanation; it was a cop-out. But he’d finally said something that was right. I did deserve better.
“When my parents were splitting up, my father told my mother he’d always cared about her, but he’d never deeply loved her the way he loved Margie. He basically admitted that he’d settled. And let’s not even talk about my choice of Garrett. You’re absolutely right. I do deserve more. I deserve someone who wants to be with me the way I want to be with them. And maybe it’s my own fault for growing feelings for you when you never promised anything more than a physical relationship. But you know what…” I searched his eyes. “I didn’t think I was in this alone. I was foolish enough to think you were right there with me, breaking your dumb rule about keeping things to sex only.”
Hunter rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor.
I pulled my unbuttoned shirt closed. “You should go.”
“Natalia…”
His calm, level tone made me snap. I was riding an emotional rollercoaster, and he was floating through the lazy river. Screw this.
“Get out! Go find your new fuck of the month. Oh, wait. It’s fuck of the quarter, isn’t it?”
I spun around and marched toward the front door, flinging it open without another word. Hunter stayed put for a few long moments and then came toward the door. Only, he didn’t walk through it; he slammed it shut. With him still inside.
“I am right there with you. I just…”
“Just what?”
“I can’t promise more. But I also can’t seem to walk out that fucking door.”
I was sad and angry. So, how did I respond?
I kissed him.
Probably not the smartest move I’ve ever made. Yet I couldn’t help myself.
It took about one second for Hunter to stop fighting it. He cupped both hands around my ass and lifted me up against the door. My legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, and all of my angry energy poured into the kiss.
I couldn’t get close enough. And this time, I was positive I wasn’t the only one. Hunter wound his fingers into my hair, tilted my head to deepen the kiss, and pressed his body into mine as he let out a groan. Our hearts pounded against each other. We began tearing away our clothes without ungluing our mou
ths. Engrossed in the furies of passion, I hadn’t even noticed we were moving until I felt Hunter’s foot push open the door to my bedroom.
Ever so gently, he set me down on the bed, our tongues still intertwined. I was lost—we were lost—in the moment. It wasn’t until our kiss broke, and Hunter stood to remove the rest of his clothes, that either one of us had a chance to sober up from the high of arousal.
Our gazes locked, and he froze, his hand on his zipper. “Do you want me to stop? Tell me now.”
Ten minutes ago I’d been kicking him out. Now I wanted him inside of me more than my next breath. Of course, in the moment, I could justify anything. What difference would two more weeks make? I already had feelings for him. It wasn’t like depriving myself of sexual gratification was going to change that. My eyes dropped to the thick bulge straining for release from Hunter’s pants.
Nope. Two more weeks isn’t going to make one lick of a difference.
“No,” I whispered. “I don’t want you to stop.”
Heat pushed the hesitancy out of Hunter’s eyes. He pulled a condom from his wallet, tossed the billfold on the floor, and made quick work of shedding the rest of my clothes. Hovering over me, he rubbed his thick erection up and down my center before looking into my eyes one last time for confirmation.
I nodded, but as he dipped his head to take my mouth again, I changed my mind. “Wait.”
Hunter froze with our noses a centimeter apart.
If I was going to do this, I wanted to be in control as much as I could. “I want to be on top,” I said.
A flash of relief crossed his gorgeous face. In one swift move, he rolled to his back, putting me on top. “Ride me, baby,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Ride me hard.”
I rose to my knees and took him in my hand. He was so thick, my fingers couldn’t wrap around his width. Hunter’s hands pressed into my hips, and he lifted me to hover high enough to line up his crown at my entrance. The scent of sex wafted in the air, permeating everything.
I looked down at Hunter. He looked so desperate, yet he’d ceded me the control I needed, even if that control was false.
