“Yeah,” I turn back to the ocean and see that the speck of black is gone. I guess he’s waiting for me underneath. I get to my feet reluctantly.
“What are you doing?” I look back at Vex as his eyebrow stands at its usual angle, cocked.
“I’m going in there.”
“Why?”
“Because if I don’t, he won’t leave.”
“Why? Why do you care?” Vex asks me and I stop in the middle of pulling off my leather pants.
“I…” I start but I can’t answer the question. Why do I care? Orion turned his back on me because he couldn’t force me into an expectation carved over hundreds of years. He’s just the kind of man you can’t change. He’s too old, too set in his ways. I don’t owe him anything. My black hair falls forward and I relish the shadow it casts on my face. I’m not the same girl I had been the last time he had seen me. I’m not his girl anymore.
But wouldn’t it be nice to make sure he knew it.
The whisper is back, small and in the back of my subconscious. Not so foreign now, melded in with my own wants and desires, I listen to it.
“I’ve got something I need to say. I need to set the record straight. I need him to see I’m playing for the other side, let him see my power.” Vex’s face is surprised, more surprised than I’ve ever seen him in fact. I smile to myself slightly, I enjoy being the opposite of what he expects.
“Alright, Love, but I’m coming with. Don’t want you getting kidnapped now do we?” He begins to get undressed alongside me, the wind whipping around our chilled bodies. I feel myself shake slightly at the thought of seeing Orion, but it’s not nerves. It’s determination, fuelled by my rage.
The warm water sloshes over my limbs as I descend, letting my tail return, scales running upward from my toes and binding my legs together in an onyx scaled seal. The aquamarine is long gone, no traces left, the darkness having leeched into my physical self, as well as my mind. I move into the dim navy of the water, seeing the icy blue of the eyes I can’t get out of my head.
“Callie…” I hear my name from Orion, he sounds like someone has winded him, kicked him in the chest and taken his breath away, but behind that breathlessness anger stirs. I can tell this isn’t going to be pleasant, and momentarily wonder if I should have bothered coming to speak with him at all.
“Yes,” I snap out.
“You look…. Awful,” he rubs the back of his neck as his form comes into view. My Psiren sight allows me to see through the dark of the water and my tail stirs. The water at this depth is nothing, easier to swim through than air.
“Gee thanks, so nice of you to say so.” I feel the water at my back stir and I know Vex is moving in behind me.
“What is that… thing doing here. Did he hurt you?” Orion’s chest is puffing out, trying to assert dominance, ownership over something he discarded.
“No. I want him here. He’s my friend,” I say the words and I feel Vex’s eyes on my face as he moves in beside me. Orion’s expression contorts, his statuesque beauty taking on a hardness that makes him look stunningly cruel.
“Your friend? It isn’t your friend, Callie. It has tentacles. It’s just a cold, dead thing,” he looks disgusted.
“Hey, mate! I’m right here you know.” I hear Vex complain and I feel a smug smile crawl over my face.
“He’s my friend, Orion,” I repeat the statement and Orion’s eyes bulge even further. I almost want him to keep acting like a jackass, it makes him easier to hate, it makes it easier to remind myself of why we can’t, nor should, be together.
“Callie, listen to me,” Orion comes forward through the water in one jerk movement, it stems in continuous undulation from the tip of his fin to his waist. I let myself hang in the darkness, looking into his face, into what lies behind the disgust at the darkness within me, the normal underlay of worry and fear is still there. “This isn’t you, Callie. Titus, when you died, when he died, something happened. His soul latched on to you, or you absorbed it… or something,” his words surprise me, not the apology nor the condemnation I had been prepared for. But an answer. An answer to the voice in my head.
I go to exclaim in reply but Vex pipes up as I inhale.
“Don’t give her that, you just can’t stand a woman who has more power than you. This is her decision. She chose to stop bending over for you. You just can’t take it,” he snarls the words and I wonder what is motivating his rage towards Orion.
“Pfft. What would you know about her?” Orion snorts.
“More than you, Nancy boy.” Vex moves forward, his tentacles curling and recoiling.
“Look, stop!” I call out and both of the seething men turn to look at me. Orion looks somewhat ashamed and I square up to him. “You need to leave.” I feel the sentiment roll out of my mouth, like a wave. It drenches Orion in the chill of my rejection and I watch him sigh.
“You’re choosing him?” He looks at Vex and I shake my head.
“No. I’m choosing me.” I look at him and he shuts both his palms into fists.
“You can’t just end this, Callie. We’re destined. We’re supposed to be together,” he spits out the sentiment and I feel Vex snigger behind me. I turn to him.
“Vex… can you just give us a minute. I’ll be back with you in a second.”
“Sure thing, Love. You just let me know if you need any…. assistance.” I feel his eyes travel over my shoulder to Orion and he smirks. God I hate men. Why is everything some kind of penile measuring competition? I stare at him, letting him know I won’t stand for anymore fighting. I need to deal with Orion in my own way. I need to let him know this is who I am now, and that he can’t just come and find me when he feels like it and screw up my night. I move back to him, folding my arms.
“Look. You can’t just do this.”
“Do what?” Orion throws a faux innocent shrug at me.
“You can’t just show up here. I’m not your concern anymore,” I bite out the words and Orion’s brow creases.
“You’ll always be my concern, Callie… What I said… about you leaving and not coming back… I was angry. I didn’t mean it,” he puffs out air, blowing bubbles and looking uncomfortable.
“You think this is about that? Really?” I look at him exasperated. He seems so smart and yet he’s totally obtuse as to what’s going on.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m going to lay this out for you, one last time.” I run my fingers through my stiff mermaid locks, frustrated at his determined single mindedness. “I’ve had a lot of time to think, so I’m going to tell you my thoughts. I don’t want an argument. I don’t want some bullshit show of masculine strength. I want you to listen. Then I’m going back to Vex. This isn’t a window to get me to go anywhere with you. This isn’t me bending to what you want. I just think I owe you an explanation. You don’t seem to be able to see why I’m angry, or why I need to move on. So I’m just going to lay it out for you. No holding back or lying. Okay?” I exhale after my miniature rant and Orion looks like he’s between exploding in anger or crying. I can’t tell which anymore.
“Okay.” The word comes from him, like a white flag, a show of defeat.
“Okay… Ever since we got together, a lot of stuff has happened. I get that it’s not been easy for you either and I know that I lied to you about the prophecy. I know that. The reason I didn’t tell you, is because you waited hundreds of years for me. That’s a hundred years of moulding me into what you wanted me to be in your head. You wanted me to be like every other mermaid in the Occulta Mirum.” Orion looks at me intensely and I almost melt into his eyes. Almost, but not quite. “But I’m not. I’m not a Princess or a Queen. I’m not a leader. I’m not a wife either. I’m just Callie. I don’t do what I’m told. I know this world is dangerous, but I don’t want to be sheltered. I have immortal life. So why shouldn’t I live it? I feel like you had this amazing idea of who you wanted me to be, this perfect dream of your soulmate. But that’s a dream, Orio
n. I can never be that girl. I am flawed and despite looking far from it, I am human. I have darkness in me, especially now if what you say about Titus is true,” I take a breath and Orion’s eyes are wide.
“I see,” he whispers.
“The thing is, I do love you. If you’d have just given it some time. Waited for me to get comfortable and settled, let us work on the things that needed work, marriage wouldn’t have been such a big step for me. But you couldn’t wait. It was just your way of pushing me into this mould you’d created. That’s not the way I want to be married, or loved,” I say this and I think he finally understands. His eyes are glazed and his form is still, frozen under the power of my harsh words.
“And the boy?” He gestures to where Vex has retreated to.
“Vex is my friend. He doesn’t expect anything of me and he trusts in me enough to know that I can look after myself. I’m happier when he’s around right now,” I say the last word and Orion looks like he might start becoming the source of Tiffany’s next season collection. I want to comfort him. Apologise. I know I’ve done wrong too. This isn’t all his fault.
Still a tiny and now recognisably Psiren voice is whispering in my head, you’ve just got to be selfish, this isn’t about him. It’s about you. You deserve to be powerful, be unstoppable, it’s what you were made for.
I shake my head slightly, the black ribbons of my hair flowing outward in the shallow waters of the shoreline.
“I had better go, and please Orion. Don’t come after me again. I’m a big girl. If I get into any trouble, I know it’s my problem. I’ll fix it,” I breathe out and his eyes harden into two icy shards.
“I know. I get now that you don’t need anyone,” he looks at me with scorching condemnation. “I’m done waiting.” He turns and disappears into the dark blue of the night’s seething waters.
His last words sting me, I can’t deny it. But instead of allowing them to swallow me and consume me, bring hardening tears to my eyes, I turn and head back to Vex.
ORION
It’s over. I’d known she was unhappy, I’d known she was angry, but it is clear to me now that I am not good for her and that she is long gone to the darkness. Even if I was good for her, she doesn’t want me anymore. But him? That monster; the brit with the bad hair and the tentacles? I shudder at the thought of his hands on her, moving across her skin, making her giggle and squeal, sweeping down trails mine had once traced. My heart convulses in a palpitation that feels like rain water hitting the surface of the ocean, or the lead pellets of a shotgun… right to where she used to reside. It’s like a light has been extinguished. What have I done to deserve this?
True, maybe I had pushed her, tried to make her into something I’d dreamed of every night for years, but now… she won’t even try to make it work. She had walked away, as usual. After everything that I’d done to try and make her happy, she still turned her back on me. Maybe it isn’t that I’m not good for her. Maybe it’s that she isn’t good for me. The Crowned Ruler of the Occulta Mirum, running after a girl who doesn’t want him. I think not.
I feel a shudder run through me. Have I really become this sick puppy? Getting kicked to the curb, not fighting back but whimpering and limping with one paw held up for sympathy? I used to be a great warrior… and now? My fist clenches as I begin my journey back to the Cole and the other Knights who are waiting for me, watching, just in case. Saturnus was right. Now is not the time for weakness and begging a woman to want me. Now is the time for action, for strength and for setting an example to the most important relationship in my life, that which I hold with my father’s legacy, with the people that need me. Callie has made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t need anyone. Titus’ darkness had infected her that was for sure.
She had always been headstrong, longing for independence, but she’d never seemed power hungry before. The black hair and maps of dark magic that trace across her skin now, only prove to me the rivers of magic that run deep through her had been poisoned and that dark power is clearly more enthralling than I could ever be.
I sigh to myself, running my hand through my hair. I look down to the sand, sweeping along the ocean floor and miss my father so deeply I can barely breathe. I know one thing for sure, I am done fighting to keep her. I still want her. I will always want her. But I am suddenly overcome with the reminder that you can’t make someone love you, just like you can’t force someone who loves you to want to be with you. One thing is for sure though. I meant what I had said, and as I make my way back to my responsibilities, I know that I am finally, after all this time, done waiting.
CALLIE
I am free, finally. After everything I’ve been through, struggling and squirming to get free from Orion’s possessive overprotectiveness. I am free. I am still in the darkness of the water, hanging there, limp and defeated. This is what I wanted. Isn’t it?
Of course, dear. You are free now. Free to grow into the powerful killer you were born to be.
The voice echoes off each wall of my skull. Wait… Killer? My head snaps up and my eyes fall wide. Is that what this is? Was it Titus all along, making me into something dark, hard, and unfeeling? Is this all my fault? Had I just lost the only man who would ever make me feel so coveted… so loved? I look back over my shoulder as I begin to leave the ocean once more. I can’t stand to be in it. I don’t want to see its shimmer, its beauty. It makes me sick.
My head breaks the surface of the foam that has formed like a slime on top of the water and Vex is almost fully dressed, waiting for me, propped against the bike at the edge of the sand as he pulls his leather jacket over his muscular shoulders. I focus on cleaving myself from my curse, from the water, from Atargatis and I feel my scales shimmer out of existence once more. My feet pad across the sand in a light jog. My calves burn, an unpleasant side effect from the longevity of being in tailed form, and I feel the wind whip around my body, causing errant droplets of water to slither down my skin. Vex watches me, his eyes falling over my naked body and I instantly warm to him a little more. Orion isn’t the only one who will ever love me. Vex wants me. He’d never admit it, but I know he does.
In that moment, as I watch him, pulling on my pants and wrapping the corset around me, an urge inside me surfaces, like a panther crawling into view through tall grass. I slick my wet hair back from my neck, running my fingers through it and throwing the long tresses over my left shoulder. I bend to put on my shoes, and look up through my black lashes to watch him, eyes rolling over me like wicked surf, salacious and wild.
I momentarily wonder what the hell I’m doing. He’s a Psiren for Goddess’ sake, but then I remember that he believes in me, more than anyone ever has. Certainly more than Orion ever would.
I stand, fully dressed and pace forward, running my hand through my hair again, nervous.
“So, Love, did you break the Nancy Boy’s heart into hundreds of sparkly pieces? Did he cry? Ooh I bet he cried!” His lilac irises dance with enthusiasm, the kind he only feels for violence and pain.
“No, he didn’t cry. He left. It’s over. I’m free.”
“Good riddance, Love. You don’t need him. You’re not a pet. You’re a predator,” his words sting me slightly, I don’t know why.
“I’m not a killer, Vex,” I whisper.
“Could have fooled me. This lone wolf act you’ve got going on isn’t exactly the act of a saint, now is it?”
“I’m not a killer!” I yell in his face. His eyelids shut, hooding the light of his irises. He looks irritable.
“Why does it matter to you? You afraid the big bad wolf has been let out and you won’t get it back into its cage? You have power, girl, whether you want it or not. Killing is just the next step up the ladder in using that power. Someone has more power than you, you want it, you take it.”
“Oh and I suppose that’s just life is it? No other choice, just going around killing people for what they have. God, you Psirens, you’re so arrogant. You don’t have the right to just decide whether pe
ople live or die, Vex!”
“Look, Love, you can act as innocent as you like, but it isn’t life, it’s evolution. You think you can escape those little voices in your head, the urges screaming around inside you for blood? You. Were. Built. To. Be. On. Top.” His words penetrate me, a staccato of a statement which I don’t know whether is true or false. He assaults my consciousness and leaves me bereft. I need to be held by strong arms and kissed by lips that could make me forget. I look up at him.
“Take me somewhere.”
“Somewhere?” The air between us becomes charged as he bends his head, our noses are almost touching.
“Somewhere with….Tequila.” I utter the word, cautious yet hungry.
“I think you’ve had enough of the hard stuff for now,” he whispers, placing his thumbs in the tight pockets of his pants, as though he’s bracing himself.
“The hard stuff is exactly what I’m looking for,” I sweep my irises over him from bottom to top, letting his form fill my head, pushing out the images of Orion’s broken expression. He smiles slightly.
“Oh… you want to go somewhere with tequila…” His eyes blaze.
“Yes, Vex. Take me. Now,” I whisper the words and suddenly realise that I’m acting more forward than I ever have, even with Orion. It’s like I’m on autopilot, not giving a damn and watching my body from the outside, performing the eloquent and seductive dance of a stranger, not me. I let the darkness take over. I feel my pupils dilate, turning black and empty, needing to be filled by someone’s wanton grasp.
“Hop on.” Vex turns to the bike, straddling it suggestively. I hop on the back, not bothering to look back at the ocean which had contained me, made me bend to Orion and rise to a place I had never belonged. I place my hands around Vex’s waist and ride off with him into the night, accepting all the new parts of myself, like jagged puzzle pieces that grate, but are slowly falling into place. They complete an unexpected and fragmented image, hungry, wanton, dark, but also… free.
The Kiss That Saved Me (The Tidal Kiss Trilogy Book 2) Page 21
