“Okay. I can wait,” I sigh and she looks crestfallen, her lips pressed hard in the darkness.
“Wait right here,” she commands suddenly, and then she’s gone into the murky distance. She returns, her swimming speed faster than I’d ever seen before.
“Come on,” she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me with her. We slide into the foggy distance together, as she leads me toward the mother whale. “She’s going to give us some privacy.” She explains and my forehead creases, not understanding her meaning at all. She rolls her eyes, not wanting to explain and pulls me again, onto the whale’s back, lying down on her stomach. I follow her and slowly the mother humpback rises.
We emerge from the surface on whale back, icy water falling from my skin and scales as the night sky opens up above us and the smell of pine hits my nostrils with a pungent and cool freshness.
“Wow,” is all I can manage to utter as Callie smiles at me, her eyes shiny.
“Now,” she sighs, “we can talk.”
CALLIE
The sky is alight with a million stars, cold and crisp, contrasting against the utter blackness of the surrounding wilderness. Orion is on his back, lying with his hands behind his head, his abs cut and pectorals rising and falling lazily with his breath. It reminds me of the nights we spent on the beach in San Diego, when everything was so new and fresh. Lighter almost.
“So…” Orion starts and my heart begins to pound. This is the conversation I’ve been most dreading. I’m different now, and I know I trust him. I can’t keep holding back or I’m never going to move forward. He suddenly exhales and stops talking.
“So…” I continue. It’s awkward and the air between us isn’t just chill; it’s dense, dense with everything that hasn’t been said.
“Nice night, right?” Orion cocks an eyebrow and I melt slightly, bursting out into a massive full-bellied laugh that I can’t contain.
“Oh yeah, great. We’re fleeing from a group of savage killers, freezing our balls off in the process, and I’m trying to whip a bunch of Barbies into G.I Jane,” my sarcasm metre is exploding and Orion laughs too. He’s actually almost crying because he’s laughing so much he can’t breathe.
“Some rulers we make!” He blurts and I start laughing all over again. It’s absolutely insane. We’re fleeing to the farthest reaches of the earth because the guy we trusted turned out to be a psychopath and Orion and I are in charge. Absolutely. Freaking. Hilarious.
“When did everything get so completely screwed up?” I ask him and he smiles coyly.
“I don’t know,” he sighs outward, giving a final chuckle. “Somewhere between when I started adorning my head with jewellery and trying to make you wear an engagement ring.” That stops my laughing cold.
“So we agree then. Jewellery is to blame?” I ask, serious this time as I stare into his eyes. The whale shifts beneath us slightly and I watch as ocean passes us by.
“I guess what’s happened makes our problems seem kind of ridiculous,” he shakes his head, freeing several cool droplets from his tangled mahogany locks. I feel my breath catch in my throat as I gush my next statement.
“I just, I wish we’d talked more. You needed me. I know that. But I just couldn’t talk to you.” He sits up suddenly, his head coming close to mine. His icy blue eyes bear into me.
“Why?” He is curious and I wonder if perhaps I’d spoken to him sooner I could have prevented all this. Was a lack of communication really at the root of everything?
“You… you were so cut off. I tried to talk to you about everything… about that night I died. About your father. I couldn’t reach you,” I whisper, scared of my own words.
“I know. I don’t deal with loss well. I guess that’s a side effect of having everyone you love live forever,” he blinks, looking at me.
Finally. He does understand.
“I should have done more. I should have been there for you better,” I admit. It isn’t all Orion’s fault. I’m just as uncommunicative sometimes, if not worse.
“You were there for me.”
“I swam away. You asked me to marry you and instead of talking to you about why I wasn’t ready, I left. That’s my fault.” I’m feeling very earnest, like the silence encasing us is allowing me to finally open my heart all the way out.
“I shouldn’t have listened to Saturnus, but I won’t lie, it stung like a bitch when you said no. I let my pride get in the way. I should have listened to you, even though I was hurt,” he confesses this truth.
“I just felt trapped. Like all control was being taken away from me. I’m just a teenager; I don’t want a crown or a ring. I just wanted you,” I make the next confession and he smiles to himself.
“I shouldn’t have trapped you in. You’re so… different now. You’re growing into this incredible woman. I didn’t see it. You have the potential to be so much. So much more than a wife.” I want to cry as he whispers these words to me, feeling every ounce of the darkness in my soul evaporate as I fall into his eyes, wrapping myself up in his words. “I wanted you to be what I wanted. It’s only now that I see how stupid that is. You’re far too beautiful and far too unique for me to even begin to put my finger on what you are, let alone what you should be.” His eyes fall and I breathe outward. He finally sees that I’m best when I’m free. I need him to know that doesn’t mean I’ll leave. Not anymore, I’m not fleeing any longer.
“You should know no matter how far I go, I’ll always come back to you,” I whisper.
“I’m your anchor,” he kisses my forehead and I want to weep. Be weak and crumble into him.
“Why didn’t we ever talk like this before?” I ask him and he smiles.
“Because we’re stupid.”
“I was so mad at you… until…” I stop, blushing slightly.
“Until?” He asks, not letting the sentence drop.
“Until I saw you looking at me today. With the whales. I saw the look on your face and I knew I would never find anyone who adored me like that,” I admit this to myself and a shrill terror runs through me.
He’s the one.
It’s like I’m feeling what that really means for the first time. It means I have to take care of him like he’s the most precious thing in the world. Once he’s gone, there’ll never be anyone like him again.
“I like this honesty thing. I so often wish I knew what you are thinking,” Orion admits.
“Why don’t you just ask?” I cock an eyebrow.
“You’re not forthcoming either,” he laughs slightly and I hit him across the arm. It reminds me of something and suddenly my heart sinks like a stone.
“In the uh, spirit of honesty. There’s something I have to confess. But you’re not going to like it,” I breathe out, exhaling and trying to calm myself.
“What’s that?” He strokes the round of my shoulder.
“It’s about Vex.” His finger halts in its track and he looks up at me. “I…I slept with him,” I admit, watching the colour drain from Orion’s face. “I’m sorry… I was drunk and Titus’ darkness was at its worst. We’d just had that fight near the shoreline and I…” Orion doesn’t say anything. He just holds a finger up to my lips, shakes his head with a disappointed look and disappears beneath the still water’s surface, leaving me alone on the top of Big Blue.
I sigh, so close… and yet so far.
AZURE
Whispers keep coming from behind; the maidens are talking about me. I’m ignoring them. I want to look in on what’s happening with Star, check she’s okay, but the fog won’t roll in. I wonder if that’s because I’m really scared of knowing what’s going on. As long as I can’t see her, I can imagine her at least alive from the two way looking glass.
I’m also pissed at Callie. It’s irrational I know, but her darkness was taken from her, she doesn’t have to bear it any longer. She’s back in the Goddess’ favour, being rewarded and bathed in the glory of the sea. I have no such relief, constantly keeping my temper in check, feeling uncomforta
ble in my own skin. Callie gets to go back, be a Queen, adored by all who lay eyes on her. While I’m stuck with black roots and eyes that unnerve even the bravest of warriors. I’ve always thought of my darkness as power, but right now I am an outsider to everyone, and the understanding that I would have gotten from Callie has disappeared along with her own dark roots. I’m not quite a mer, neither am I Psiren. I don’t belong.
The whispers of the mermaids are riding on my last nerve and as I look around Orion and Callie are nowhere to be seen. I guess I’d better shut them up then. I turn Philippe, yanking the reins and lay eyes on them, the Equinox beneath me treading water. The maidens look startled and erect themselves from the position in which they’re swimming.
“If you have something to say to me, I suggest you say it to my face. Your whispers are shockingly not all that discreet. You guys know you have to actually lower your voices right?” I cock an eyebrow and allow my lips to pull back over my teeth. Rose, the one with seemingly more backbone than the others, narrows her eyes.
“We were just saying about how we wish we could fight like you. Orion said you pulled him out of the rubble… you know, when the Psirens attacked.” She shrugs and I’m taken aback for a second. What, they like me now?
“Uh, yeah. I did,” I say, dumbfounded. They shift, uncomfortable.
“We’re sorry. About your sister. None of us knew her that well, but she seemed nice,” the one with the mint green scales adds.
“Don’t give me that shit. You and I both know that Starlet is an acquired taste,” I bite out.
“Anyway, we just wanted to say we’re sorry about your father too. We don’t want you to think we don’t care. You were one of us once. We can see you’re trying,” Sophia pipes up and once again I’m surprised. My heart feels weird, like it’s squeezing slightly in my chest. I shrug it off. Must be the change in temperature.
“Um… thanks.”
“We also… we had questions,” Rose blurts. Ghazi’s wife is behind her, looking worried.
“What questions? I’m not the answer type.” I look at her suspiciously as Philippe continues to keep us stationary with a steady beating of his scaled wings.
“Your eyes… why do they do that thing? Is it because of the visions, I never saw Starlet’s eyes go like that,” Skye is curious, too curious for my liking. I note Cole and Ghazi are almost with us now, we’ve been stationary for long enough for them to catch up from the rear of the group. I can only hope one of them will save me.
“The dark magic… that’s how it presents itself. When I get angry or excited. It helps me see in the dark too. It’s nothing to do with my visions,” I give a blasé explanation, bored of the conversation and pull on the reigns so the Equinox moves away.
“How do the visions… how do they work?” Skye is still tentative, but the other mermaids are absorbed.
“Why didn’t you ask Star all this?” I sigh, shrugging my shoulders.
“She wasn’t around much,” Alannah cuts in, interrupting Skye.
“My visions work two ways. I get them sent to me from upstairs and I can also look in through Starlet’s eyes. It’s how we kept an eye on each other when I was…” I trail off, not wanting to remember being with Titus again. The girls look fascinated. I don’t know why I’m still talking to them. I guess I must like the attention.
“So you can see what’s happening right now, you know, back in the Occulta Mirum?” The question comes from the back of the group. It’s from Sophia and I know she’s asking for her soulmate.
“Not really, it’s not something you can pick and choose. It doesn’t work all the time,” I explain, still bored. I look at my nails. Damn, I need a manicure. All this saving the world stuff is really cutting into my personal time.
“Do you think you could teach us to fight?” A squeaky voice reaches me and my head snaps up. I dismount Philippe momentarily, letting him move ahead.
“What did you just ask me?” They back up.
“We want to know how to fight. We want you to teach us.” The voice comes from the shy girl with blonde hair and baby blue fins. I’m kind of flattered and at the same time half offended that they think I’d so easily relinquish my secrets.
“Why don’t you ask Callie or Orion? Or Ghazi?” I enquire, sure there must be some kind of catch here.
“We don’t want a man to teach us. We’ve seen you fight, we watched from my apartment when you fought the lion-fish looking guy,” Rose cocks her head and furrows her brow; clearly thinking is hard work for her.
“Caedes?” I look at them and they nod. Rose continues.
“Yes, we saw how you outwitted him. You’re small like us, and you don’t have big muscles like the men, but you still won.”
“You know I had help with Caedes, right? That Psiren with the slingshot, he…” I begin.
“Yes. But you fought in the first Psiren attack too and survived. You’ve survived with the Psirens for longer than anyone. We’d like you to teach us. If you want. If not, we could always ask Callie,” Rose puts this to me as a challenge. I accept, my eyes turning a little darker as my temper flares.
“Okay. When we make it to where we’re going I’ll put aside some time. But it won’t be easy and I don’t want any whiners!” I scold them and they blanche a little, I smile. I like the fact that they’re still ever so slightly afraid of me. They all look like they’re holding their breaths. I goad them.
“Thank you, Azure,” I harp with a high-pitched girly tone. They all suddenly gush forward with thanks and I roll my eyes. “Whatever.” I turn on my tailfin’s axis and whirl away from them, leaving them to eat my bubbles.
When I finally catch up to Philippe, he’s not alone. Orion is slumped lengthways, lying along his spine.
“Hey,” I mutter, feeling annoyed. He doesn’t reply; he looks rather pissed actually. “I said hey!” I repeat, not enjoying being ignored one bit. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I poke him in the abs, moving upward and examining him the way a coroner examines a corpse.
“He had his hands on her. He touched her…” I can’t quite make out what he’s blithering on about and so I roll my eyes. I’ll use my simple words.
“Orion. Use words,” I motion for him to hurry the hell up. I don’t have time for his drama.
“Vex and Callie…” He begins and my stomach flips in a horrible vomit inducing type somersault. I don’t know why.
“Oh my God! You freaking serious? That’s gross… I thought Callie had better taste… Then she did agree to be with you. Jesus,” I try to perk him up, jibing him with faux insults that I’m so used to dishing out.
“Azure. Go away,” he’s seriously heartbroken. Or pissed, I can’t tell. I still can’t wrap my head around Callie and that tentacle sporting douchebag bumping uglies. Oh man that is so wrong. What the hell was she thinking? I knew something had gone on between them, that much was obvious. I mean he had pulled the darkness out of her according to Callie. But sex? Ew. Wrong. No.
I shake my head, trying to stop my wicked imagination from putting images into my mind that I somehow can’t stomach.
I look up at Orion, unfocused and wallowing in his own misery.
“Hey, it could be worse,” I remind him, I regret this immediately when I’m subject yet again to more whining, courtesy of the Callie and Orion relationship drama of the week.
“How? How could this be worse?!” He exclaims sitting upright on horseback, twisting his body so his long tailfin hangs down the side of the Equinox.
“OUR SISTER COULD BE DEAD!” I yell, finally having enough. I feel my voice reverberate, echoing back at me through the empty space of the water. Silence falls from the rear of the group. “How self-absorbed can you be? There are BIGGER problems here than your goddamn love life. Get a freaking grip on yourself!” I go to raise my hand, disgusted, to slap him across the face again, my eyes dilating and turning black with my rage. He grips my wrist, his eyes softening.
“Okay. You’re right. I’m sor
ry,” he whispers, stroking my cheek slightly with his index finger. I yield, letting the rage dissipate and lowering my hand. He lets it drop, suddenly looking crushed beyond compare. “Why did it have to be her?” He shakes his head, now I’m sure he’s talking about Starlet.
“I’ve been thinking about that. Callie said about purity. I thought we were talking in purely sexual terms, but I’m pretty sure that Solustus has never gotten any either. So why not him?” I’m thinking aloud. “It’s about her connection to the Goddess, and more than that, I think it’s about the fact she’s never killed.”
“Never? Wait, that can’t be right?” Orion looks confused.
“You’re telling me father let her go out and fight? That doesn’t seem like him,” I mumble, wondering if I am in fact wrong. Maybe Starlet has killed before.
“No… I guess not. She’s gone all this time never killing anyone.”
“At least we know why she’s so damn cranky now. No sex. No bloodshed. How awfully boring,” I comment and Orion scowls. I shrug unapologetically.
“I think it’s more to do with the fact that by the time she turned you were already gone. She’s been alone a long time,” Orion reminds me.
“You think that’s an excuse? I wasn’t exactly destined to be with Titus, but I still went there. It was that damn convent. They brainwashed her. I’m telling you,” I babble on, finding my stride for the first time in a while, but still can’t get out of the habit of clipping my sentences short with disdain.
“Convent?” He looks confused and I scowl at him, wondering why he’s not up to speed. He spent more time with my sister than I did.
“Oh… she didn’t tell you about that?” I cock an eyebrow, and he’s still pulling the dumbfounded, stupid expression. Guess not.
The Kiss That Saved Me (The Tidal Kiss Trilogy Book 2) Page 36
