“We knew, both of us, it’s true. But we didn’t want to risk your safety. Especially with the way Psirens seem to enjoy turning new mer. You were only a child; we had to protect you as well as the secret of the existence of the mer world. We kept Atlas and Orion in the dark. Our intention was to tell them about you once you had reached maturity, but you were my daughter, my family and my responsibility.” He gazes across me, his eyes feral. I can tell how much he cares by this one look. It’s clear he had my best interests at heart. I wonder for a moment what life would have been like growing up with a merman for a father. Now I think about it, about the risks that come with this life, the demons and the Psirens, I’m glad I never had to find out. I think about Kayla for a moment, I know I would never want to put her at risk; it was why I had left too.
“So who do you think the letter is for?” I ask him, pressing my fingers to the ice of the bubble and reverting the subject back to business. The ice becomes sticky against my cold skin. I look out, through the blurring of the frozen liquid and onto the whiteness, perfect and untouched below.
“I think the letter is for Orion,” Gideon replies, no falter in his response.
“That would make sense, but why wouldn’t he just give it to Orion himself?” I turn my back on the city below and look into the study. All the furniture flows from the ice of the floor, as though the entire place has been carved from one solid piece. There’s a large desk, a globe, chairs, and bookshelves all made from the cold, slick substance. The real things out of place here aren’t the furniture though; it’s the objects that aren’t made from ice at all that stand out. There’s a large wooden trunk in the corner, which my father is now rummaging through, his white and ice blue scales moving incrementally to keep him stationary.
“Atlas said he needed me to keep it safe from Saturnus,” Gideon says, pulling it out and holding it up to the light.
“So did you know Saturnus was evil?” I enquire. Gideon puts down the letter, letting it rest on the ice of his desk. He moves over to me, meeting my gaze with intensity.
“I didn’t know he was a Psiren, but Atlas gave me the impression when he gave me this letter that he had been corrupted. He said he was only trusting me with the truth because I was leaving. He didn’t want anyone else in on Saturnus’ little charade, in case someone made a mistake and let slip they knew his true intent. Not everyone was as careful with their words as Atlas. He was also worried about mutiny, as you can imagine.” I nod.
“You can say that again. Did you know he could glimmer himself? The mer worshipped him, like they do Atargatis in some ways, because he looks like he’s been blessed. It wouldn’t have surprised me if they’d have sided with Saturnus over Atlas because of that fact alone.” I’m curious now; I have a window into the past, someone who had seen things from the beginning. Orion was so withholding, my father on the other hand is not.
“Like he glimmers the city? That’s a useful little skill.”
“Tell me about it,” I roll my eyes and he laughs. Suddenly I’m curious.
“How did you die? When were you born?” I ask the two questions in a tumult of curiosity that springs from nowhere.
“I died of old age. I was born in 1525. In Norway.”
“Oh… I thought all of the mer came from an island off the coast of Cyprus…” I begin.
“Some, not all. I was buried at sea, and as you can imagine was quite surprised when I awoke in a wooden box at the bottom of the ocean, very much alive. A young woman, Azure, had a vision of my transformation and sent Atlas to find me.” I shudder at the thought of such tight quarters. He looks at my face and places his large fingers under my chin.
“Do not shudder. It will be alright.” Suddenly something within me that I didn’t know had wound itself tightly unravels. I know he’s not talking about the past any longer.
“How do you know that? Everyone is dead. Everything is gone,” I feel a tear fall slowly, oily against my cheek.
“Because I have lived through much worse. You are so young. You haven’t seen the strength of the mer like I have.” His words aren’t a lot, but they’re enough. I find myself trusting them without having any reason to. “So, tell me more about yourself.” Gideon demands, sitting down at the desk and placing his hands upon it, like I’m here for a job interview or something.
“Well, there’s not much to tell.” I sigh outward.
“I find that hard to believe.” He smiles and I suddenly feel slightly embarrassed at his probing.
“Well, I was going to go to brown university… I really like biology. I got in, but then this happened.” I gesture down at myself.
“That’s wonderful! So you’re clearly smart, what hobbies do you have?” He asks me the question again.
“Well… I used to like to hang out with my friends and stuff, I don’t really know. I was just your average teenager and now…” I begin to answer but trail off, self-consciousness creeping in.
“Now?” He pushes me to finish my response, but I don’t know how. I twist my mouth to the left, thinking of how to explain it.
“Now, I’m still trying to work out who I am. I became a mermaid, someone’s soulmate and a Queen within six months. I guess part of the reason I wanted to meet you, to know you, was because I thought it would give me more of an insight into who I am now. Into the mer part of me.” I breathe outward, finding relief at the truth. My father plays with his beard, rolling it backward between his finger and thumb, thoughtful.
“I suppose that’s understandable. It seems like you haven’t had much time to settle.” He’s giving me a kind stare.
“No, and for now that’s going to continue.” I shake my head, frustrated at how fast paced everything has become. I sit down on the chair, feeling like I need some support as I think of everything that has happened,
“Well, if I may say, you seem to be dealing with things a lot better than most would in your situation. You will find yourself, but it will be through learning and experiencing things that push you, challenge you and scare you. That’s a part of what growing up is about. Knowing yourself won’t come from knowing me, you are your own person after all, but what I can offer is support and to let you know that I am in awe of you. You’re remarkable and I’m astounded, proud even, of the fact you’ve come so far from that tiny baby I held in my arms 18 years ago. You’re also not alone. If I can help you in any way Callie, I’ll move heaven and earth to do so. I promise. I want to be there for you now, it’s long past due, and I want to be the father you deserve.” He’s serious in his expression and I feel my heart falter, it was the approval I had always sought, always wanted and I haven’t begged for it. It’s been given freely. I think on his words, on the fact that only time and life experience will show me my own mind, it’s not the quick fix I’d been hoping for, but I suppose things rarely are.
“Thank you.” I whisper, feeling shy. Gideon in a way reminds me of Atlas. You can’t help but listen to his words and be filled with hope at their intent. I feel like a child again, not a Queen or a lover, not responsible for those around me. I feel like now, after everything, there’s finally someone who will love me, look after me, and want for nothing in return. I can just be Callie and that’s enough.
Gideon rises from behind the desk, placing a large, warm hand on my shoulder. I rise from the chair in which I’m perched too, moving toward Gideon and putting my arms around his waist, resting my head over his heart. His body is stony, surprised, but after a few moments he relaxes and wraps his arms around me. Together we are suspended in time, and I feel my heart start to thaw along with his. It’s like this paternal love had been frozen, lost to time but ready to resume all along. Now we’re back together, nothing can touch me, not even the cold.
ORION
The double ice doors slam shut behind us, separating me from her once more. I know she needs to be alone with her father and I know I’m still reeling with the shock and wound of her betrayal, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still worry about her.
Damn it. Why can’t I just stop? I need to sever this; it isn’t good for me. I’m swimming around in circles over this woman. It’s driving me insane.
I look at the Adaro called Sirenia, at her long lilac hair, at her pale smooth skin, her well-formed assets and smooth scaly behind. She’s stunning and I want to take her. Make things simple… and yet the thought of touching her most certainly makes me want to wretch.
“Where are we going?” I hear Cole asking Cain. They’re talking as we swim through the chill water and out of the palace. Away from Callie.
“I think you would agree you’ll want to stay together. After all we did try to behead you,” there’s not an ounce of humour in Cain’s tone. Cole looks back to me, always bound by honour and not wanting to step on my toes so to speak. It then occurs to me that he should be looking to me; I’m the Crowned Ruler. Not a very good one though, if I can’t even remember my role here.
I inhale deeply, as though making pleasantries with these pale foreigners is the most painful thing I can imagine. I suppose I should be grateful I wasn’t killed on the spot, but the thought of more niceties and small talk is more than I can bear. I don’t want to perform a song and dance. I just want answers and sanctuary for my people. A place to rest, to heal. To shrink back from the light which has been shone on me as my father’s shadow fades and the eclipse of his protection, of his wisdom, vanishes along with it.
“Yes. We’d like to stay together. I also have some questions,” I breathe out my reply. It sounds rushed, but I cannot muster the energy to care. Azure looks at me, squinting slightly with distaste, but I ignore her. If she’s so equipped for this job I wish she’d just goddamn take it.
“We don’t owe you any explanation,” Nika snaps, rounding on us.
“Nika! You heard what the chief said! They’re guests. Now kindly retract your fangs,” Cain retorts, defending us for which I’m grateful. I don’t want to have to get into it with Nika. She seems tough. Azure laughs, not as discreet as she thinks she is.
“I like her. She’s feisty,” Nika turns and Azure winks at her cheekily. She’s probably tempting some kind of violence, but to my surprise Nika actually smiles.
“I think they’ll do well in the training centre,” she suggests, her tone is softer now but I’m not fooled as to her true nature. I look at her arms; they’re wired with veins and sinew. The arms of a killer.
We’re descending down the spiral staircase as they decide where to take us. I can see Philippe down below and I instantly want to grab the steed from them. He’s mine.
“So you don’t mind bunking all together?” Nika asks me, her eyes connecting with mine in apology.
“No, we’d prefer it that way. We’re all that’s left of our race. We need to be together. Grief is still finding each of us in its own time,” I say these words, and double take slightly at how much I sound like my father.
“It’ll be like a sleepover. But a really cold one,” Rose snaps slightly, her attitude as frosty as the water. I wish she’d stop moaning. The cold is bothering me too, but I have to be nice.
“You’re the last? What happened?” Sirenia turns and begins swimming backward, her movements graceful as any ballet dancer.
“Where we’re from, there’s another kind of mer. One created by Poseidon, from his fury. Their magic is spread by blood, like a plague. They multiplied beyond what we thought possible and decimated our city. They want to raise a demon. They’re called Psirens.” Her eyes are kind as she listens to my words. She really is stunning.
“A demon? Why on earth would anyone want to raise something so vile?” Sirenia tosses her hair over one shoulder. The lilac colour shimmers, looking cloudlike in its softness.
“I take it you have your own share of problems with demons?” I ask them as a group, looking between the four Adaro warriors leading us through streets, surrounded on all sides by cascading ice towers. Cage snorts.
“You could say that. We’re here for the ice. To protect it.”
“I see,” I power forward, taking my place at the head of the group, falling in among the Adaro. They allow me to swim with them.
“The chief, he has power. He can create ice from water. Things have been better since he first found this place. Before then, the demons here, they radiate heat. They melted so much. The wildlife above, it suffers.” Cage looks broken at the story and his mint green eyes spark with emotion.
“I understand. So is that why you were made? To protect the ice?” I ask them, curious. It had never occurred to me that there were other Gods and Goddesses besides Atargatis and Poseidon. I suppose that’s pretty narrow-minded of me. I mean, there’s no way such a small city could hold down protecting the entire world’s oceans. Maybe I’ve been ignorant all along. Maybe I’m not as alone as I thought.
“Yes, Sedna took each of us from the Inuit. Most of us are Inuk anyway. We whaled to survive. This is us repaying our debt.” A simple explanation. I nod, looking at them, each one so harsh.
“You’re all so strong.”
“We must be. This is no island paradise. We fight each other for practice. Strength is the only option,” Nika states this as law. I can tell they take their practices and culture very seriously. I suppose that is just as well. Perhaps if I had been more serious about eliminating the threat of the Psirens when they were merely few, I could have saved us all this trouble.
“Yes and some of us lose, quite badly,” Cain quips and I hear a growl emit from Nika. So that’s why she’s so aggravated.
“But you’re so small,” Skye comments, shy as she places one hand across her mouth.
“Size is not what is important. It is strength of will. The will to survive, which truly matters.”
“Do you have soulmates?” Alannah pipes up.
“What?” Sirenia looks confused.
“Well, our Goddess, she split the souls of mermen in half. Gifted them with mermaids.” Azure laughs slightly as Rose explains the lore.
“No. Women of the Adaro aren’t gifts. We are warriors,” Nika spits the reply, clearly offended and I shoot the girls a glare.
“I assure you, our women are just as capable as any of yours,” I laugh slightly, trying to lighten the mood. It makes me wonder, has my father, in his old-fashioned wisdom, overlooked a valuable resource in the women of our city. Callie has certainly proven herself. If she could do it, why can’t they? I wonder if they haven’t, in fact, been slightly coddled.
Our pod, the last of us, undulates through the icy streets. The silence within the hollow iceberg is peaceful. It allows for a type of clarity I haven’t had in a long time. I think about Callie, about Vex touching her. I blanche slightly, but I force myself through it as I trace Sirenia’s form with my gaze. I think about my hands on her, Vex’s hands on Callie. I think about every time Callie had asked me about the rush of faceless, nameless women that had come before. Is this what she had felt like? This nausea, rushing like sickly sweet syrup across my tongue and down my gullet.
I ball my fist as we approach a structure that looks like the colosseum in Rome, but completely alabaster. We turn a sharp left and begin our ascent into one of the ice turrets. We reach the top and a porthole slides away, allowing us passage into the top of the structure. It’s massive, a giant rounded ice bubble. Beds are carved from ice and slathered in furs, the hairs of which sway like tall grass in the minute movements of the otherwise still seeming water.
“This is where you’ll be staying,” Nika says unenthusiastically. There’s a moment where everything is still and the pod takes in the room.
“There aren’t enough beds,” Rose comments. Trust her.
“Your ruler can bunk with me. I’m sure he has more questions,” Sirenia’s voice is sudden, rushed. It takes me a second to resonate with the fact she’s talking about me.
“Oh, I uh…” I mumble and the girls behind me giggle. I brush through my hair, resting my hand on the back of my neck. I look down at the floor and then up at her. Her pupil
s dilate.
“No excuses hot shot. No-one wants to share with the boss man,” she’s quirky, and for a moment I find myself falling into the spell of her icy blue eyes. She’s into me. I can tell. She thinks I’m a hot shot? Maybe I’m better at this ruler thing than I thought.
“Ok,” I shrug to the girls and Rose gives me a snotty look. Azure snorts again. Cole raises an eyebrow. They’re all judging me, but I know it would be rude to refuse the offer of our hosts.
“Are you all settled?” I ask the pod, watching them chatting, my mind slowing down after the constant state of anxiety had set my mind into overdrive on our travels.
“I think we’ll be fine. Even if your giant Crowned Ruler-ness is all the way down the hall,” Azure looks at me, sarcastic and swinging her scaly hips.
“You keep your wits about you,” I whisper. She looks at me, for the first time in a while, seriously.
“I can take care of them. You don’t need to worry. Don’t go giving away all your secrets either,” her black hair sways slightly as she drops to the bed she’s suspended next to.
“I’m just sharing her quarters. It’s necessary,” I make the excuse. I know it sounds feeble.
“You keep telling yourself that,” she shoots a glance sideways at Sirenia and exhales. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
“Yes ma’am,” I do a mock salute and she rolls her eyes.
“Ready?” Sirenia comes over to me.
“Almost. Ghazi, Cole, you’ll come and fetch me if anyone should need anything?” Ghazi nods and Cole looks between me and Sirenia. The maidens are too busy fluttering between one another’s beds and rearranging furs to notice. “I want the weapons back that you took from us.” I look to Nika. She sighs.
“Fine. I’ll return them in a while. When I find time.”
“Much appreciated,” I bow my head to her, out of respect. “Let’s go.” I turn to Sirenia. She smiles, her teeth a brilliant white.
“Come on then. Let me show you my place.”
The Kiss That Saved Me (The Tidal Kiss Trilogy Book 2) Page 39
