by Al K. Line
Dale looked nonplussed. "Like what? I didn't see anything."
"Like the remains of something," said Peter helpfully.
God, what can something so small have done?
With a shrug of the shoulders, Dale wandered into the kitchen then returned a few seconds later holding a dead rabbit by the hind legs. "It was by the door. At least we know what we're having for tea."
"Ugh, that's so gross. He can't have brought that in, can he? The rabbit's bigger than him." Amanda tried not to move as Wozzy opened an eye lazily and gave her "that" look — the dreaded cat look.
"You'd be surprised," said Peter. "He's brought a few wild things in here, and out in the garden we once saw him catch two frogs, one with each paw. Remember?" Dale and Amanda stared at him, waiting for him to catch up. "Oh. Right, sorry. Well, anyway, you have a cat and he's called Wozzy."
"Wozzy?" said Amanda.
"Yeah, you know, as in 'What's he doing now?'"
"That doesn't sound very good," said Amanda, finding it really hard not to move now she knew she couldn't. Wozzy opened an eye again and gave her an extra intense warning. "What's he doing? Damn! I'm saying it already."
"See," said Peter smugly, "it fits perfectly. You gonna put the kettle on, Dale? After last night I think I need gallons of coffee before I feel all right again."
"And get rid of that rabbit. How on earth did he get it in? He couldn't have jumped up and got through the window with that thing, surely? Aah." Woozy started rumbling, a deep vibration that ran up her thighs, rattling her chest. It felt good, she had to admit. Maybe this was the attraction with cats: they were kind of nice when they were asleep and feeling happy.
"One of life's many mysteries," said Peter, as he grabbed a handful of what looked suspiciously like Amanda's last few Quality Street chocolates from her super-secret stash — she always saved the best ones for last too.
"Fine. You want one, Amanda?"
"Please, if not something stronger."
"We could always go to the pub. Um, no, scrap that," said Dale, and went to make coffee and take care of the dead gift from Wozzy.
Wozzy purred away in his sleep, tail twitching every now and then. Amanda looked down at the tiny ball of fur only to realize that she was stroking him. Wow, never thought I'd see the day when me and a cat were friends.
"See?" said Peter, smiling as he scratched at his beard like sandpaper on wood. "I told you he was a nice guy."
"Hmm, we'll see." Amanda continued her stroking; he felt amazingly soft. She had a terrible urge to cross her legs though, but she didn't dare.
Ah! Simples, Innit?
Present Day
"Here you go," said Dale. He walked slowly into the living room, totally focused on the mugs of coffee, using the tray rather than trying to balance them and not spill them. He obviously didn't want to ruin the carpet either.
"Aah, lovely," said Peter, gulping down the scalding beverage, as usual seemingly inured to the heat. "Sugars?" he asked dubiously, peering at the dark liquid like he could read the sweetness level by sight alone.
Dale sighed. "Yes, Peter, I put three in. You aren't having four, it's just stupid."
"But I always have four," complained Peter.
"Not here you don't."
"No, I only give you two. It's pointless having coffee if you can't even taste it."
"You guys, it's just sugar. A bit of sugar never hurt anyone."
Dale and Amanda stared at each other, then at Peter — there was no point arguing with him about certain things, it would lead nowhere. He always had an explanation or a reason for everything — too much time hanging out with wackos was why, as far as Amanda was concerned. They could almost make you believe anything.
Although it had been a very restless night, even after the admittedly nice beer at the pub, Amanda didn't feel frumpy and hungover like she expected. There had simply been too much going on the day before for her to feel anything but bewildered and kind of not quite herself, as if she'd left something behind when they'd made the jump and she began to fade. It was as if some part of her never returned, or split between the other version of her in what she was now convinced was their correct reality.
What she couldn't seem to do was actually think about any of it properly — her head was too clouded with confusion. The whole mess was too much to take in, understand, or even attempt to unravel. What were they supposed to do now? How were they supposed to ensure that everything continued as they had been told it would by Tellan?
Did merely opening the tin then deciding they had to bury it, so they'd find it, start it all up again? Amanda suspected it did, and when she'd discussed it with Dale in bed the night before he was convinced that was exactly what was happening. They'd seen it, hadn't they, the other them going about what they'd been told they did before they put things right and it all just kind of faded into nothing? It never happened, or it did but then once it was finished with, especially once they, this they, had met themselves and delivered that daft book, then it was all gone, reality set right, everything back to normal.
But no, it wasn't. There was that reality and this one, and shouldn't this almost parallel universe have disappeared once they'd put things right before? Surely it should have? Or was it that it was fading, almost gone, but now they'd brought back other universes into being because of making a jump and because they had kept hold of a Hexed all this time, and now there was still one jump left?
What a mess. Did the final jump need to be used up, a sacrifice made, to set reality right?
"Amanda!" shouted Dale.
"Eh? Oh, sorry, I was miles away. Aaargh, ugh, help! Help!" Wozzy jumped up at Dale's shouting, startled from his slumber. His back arched, his ginger and white fur stood on end making him look twice as big, and his pupils were so dilated his eyes turned black. That was fine. It was having ten very, very sharp claws piercing her belly and her thighs that was the problem. "Get it off, get it off. Aaargh. Shoo, shoo, naughty cat."
Wozzy retracted his death-claws a little — Amanda could swear she heard a snick, he was more like Wolverine than a little moggy — and slowly relaxed his back once he knew there was no danger. He gave Amanda a dead stare, there was certainly no thanks for the comfortable place to rest, then hopped down from her lap and sauntered into the kitchen. A moment later there was a long, drawn out "Meow," before a noise like somebody scraping nails across metal screeched through the air.
"I think he wants his milk," offered Peter, trying to hide his smile.
Amanda looked at him, then turned to Dale when she heard him snigger. "What are you laughing at? I bet it will be your turn next. Look at my leggings, they're ruined." Amanda poked a finger through the holes, noting that her blouse was just as destroyed.
"Haha, sorry. I'll get the little guy some milk. If I don't, I think he'll probably scratch his way through the fridge."
Dale clattered about in the kitchen, talking in a silly voice to the cat, who replied with loud meows and a lot of leg clawing if his screams were anything to go by.
Amanda wondered why when you talked to animals, especially when you wanted them to like you, you spoke to them like they were babies, with lot's of "Oohs" and "Aahs," and a smattering of "Good kitty" thrown in for luck.
With some contented sighs coming from both Dale and Wozzy, there was no doubt that the milk had been given and Wozzy was lapping it up eagerly.
"He sure likes his milk," said Dale, reappearing moments later, with Wozzy trailing behind, licking his lips happily.
"I bet. And will you look at that swagger on him, he's almost bow-legged he walks with them so wide."
"That's because of his giant balls," said Peter matter-of-factly.
"Peter!"
"What? It's true, look at them. They're like two giant goose eggs hanging there. And the way he licks them you'd think they were made of chocolate."
"Ugh, that's so gross," said Amanda. "And I am definitely not going to go looking at his testicles, thank you very much
."
"Suit yourself, they are a sight to behold and no mistake. Now, about yesterday." Peter put his coffee down, seemingly forgetting his new rule about using the coaster. Amanda moved it and scowled at him — he didn't notice. He leaned back on the sofa and put his hands behind his head.
"Have you changed your shirt?" asked Amanda, noting the sweat stains under his armpits.
"Eh? Oh, no, I forgot."
"You slept in your clothes again, didn't you?" accused Dale.
Peter smiled and tugged at his shirt a little before flattening it down as if it could get rid of the creases. "Might have done, but stop trying to change the subject. Yesterday, the time travel thing, all the stuff you told me, all the things you said you, the other you or maybe really you, what about all that?"
"What about it?" asked Dale with a shrug, keeping an eye on Wozzy, as pleased as Amanda when he curled up on the rug and began to lick where no person wants to watch a cat lick.
"Are you serious? It was mental, absolutely crazy. I can't believe you aren't totally hyped."
"Been there, done that," said Dale.
"I wish we could forget about the whole thing," said Amanda. "You'd think time travel would be cool, but it's just stressful."
"Do you want to hear my ideas or not?" asked Peter, with a smile that said he had the answer to the whole conundrum.
"Peter, if you can make sense out of any of it then be my guest. We can't come to any real understanding of it at all. It's too messed up. None of it makes sense. We've been over and over it for months, and now it seems things are different again to how we believed. If you can come up with an explanation for how it works then I'm all ears." Amanda was keen to hear what Peter had to say. He may come across as a slob and a bit odd, but he was a very intelligent man with a lot of valuable knowledge on countless subjects.
Dale leaned forward in his chair, clearly just as eager to hear anything that could help them understand what had happened and maybe get an insight into what they should do next.
"Okay, I shall begin." Peter squirmed on the sofa, doing what he always did and trying to make a nice groove to settle into. Amanda couldn't help comparing him to their new cat. "The way I've always thought of time travel, and what you've said kind of confirms that, is that if there is no chance of doing it, and it is pretty far-fetched let's face it, then there is this world, or a world at any rate, and we live in the present. Sounds right, yeah?"
Dale and Amanda nodded. Dale was about to say something but Amanda put a finger to her lips — there would be time for them to talk later, she wanted to hear this.
"Okay, so we have this world, we live in the present, and the past has happened, we can all agree on that. Now, the future is yet to come, so obviously that hasn't happened. That's what we all believe. But, and this is where it all goes screwy, as soon as you have a device that allows you to travel both backward, and forward, then all hell breaks loose."
"That's what we've been telling you, Peter, we know that," said Amanda.
"Yes, but you don't understand how it all works, or you wouldn't be letting me talk. Now hush, or I'll lose my train of thought." Peter gathered his thoughts for a moment, then continued. "So, now we have our Hexad, so we can jump to the future. But unless we actually make a jump then the future need not be there, and the fact is that the future can never have happened, as it hasn't happened yet."
"So how do we jump to the future then?" asked Dale.
He's making sense, he really is.
"Because you aren't." Dale and Amanda stared at him blankly. "What I think happens is that if you jump forward then you are jumping to a different timeline. Or a different universe, to be more precise. The fact that you jump forward is an impossibility as it hasn't happened in our own world, but by doing the jump you create another universe where the future is the past in that time."
"So you are saying that jumping to the future is impossible. Hmm, you could be right," mused Dale.
"Exactly. You create an alternate reality, and you jump forward as far as you are concerned, but in reality it is the past somewhere else. And when you jump back from that alternate universe then you come back to your correct one. Usually," added Peter. "Each jump forward creates who knows how many different universes, as there could be an endless number of choices you make right as you jump, or when you set the Hexad to do it. All of that has to be accommodated." Peter moved his arms from behind his head and put them in his lap, cracking his knuckles like it was a job well done.
"Except," said Amanda, "that you had to have a special Hexad to jump to alternate universes, or it had to be me and Dale. Our closeness seemed to allow us to do it without needing a special device. That's what Tellan said anyway."
"Maybe, or maybe he got it wrong. Maybe he doesn't really know, or maybe he's lying."
"Why would he do that?" said Amanda.
Peter shrugged. "I have no idea, I don't know the man. But if he's, you know, 'The Caretaker,' as in for real," Peter made bunny ears, "then he probably has more important things to worry about than a bit of time travel shenanigans anyway."
"Don't tell me you know what that means too?" said Dale, sighing.
"What?"
"The Caretaker. You know what it means?"
Dale got a frown from Peter. "Well, duh, he's The Caretaker."
"Ugh, I give up," said Dale, watching as Wozzy got up and headed for the kitchen as though he owned the place.
"Hmm, I don't know. It sounds convincing but who knows how it really works?"
"Guys, I'm telling you, this is it. If you make a jump then you simply have to create an alternate universe, and that's why everything goes down like you said you were told. Too many jumps equals too many alternate universes with too much going on in them, so things just set stuff right the best they could and got rid of the problem by not having people in them to do the jumps. Although, er, um, I guess if that happened then surely the universes would disappear too, as there wouldn't be any time travel any longer anyway." Peter was lost in thought, going through the exact same problems Dale and Amanda had gone through no end of times.
"That's what did happen though. Once we put things right, like properly right, then everything disappeared and all that remained was one universe, one past, one present, and a future that was yet to happen." Dale moved his head to the side as if listening, then dismissed it and turned his attention back to the room.
"Except it didn't, did it?" said Amanda. "I think us digging up the tin has messed things up again. We were told not to do it but we did it anyway. And doing the jump has made it begin all over again. There are other versions of us, maybe even the proper, real us that is all there is supposed to be, right now jumping and going out having all kinds of crazy stuff happen to them.
"Actually, come to think of it, maybe we are one of those alternate realities. Maybe we popped into existence exactly because the real us didn't quite set things right as they forgot to jump back and meet themselves and write that damn book."
"Bloody hell, now you've got me all confused too," said Peter, putting his head in his hands.
"Welcome to our world," said Amanda, "and don't forget that—"
Crack.
Meow.
"What the bloody hell was that?" Dale jumped up from his chair and ran to the kitchen. It sounded like plates were shattering on the floor and someone was trying to break glasses.
Amanda and Peter jumped up too, but before they could catch up with Dale, Wozzy ran into the room, chased by Dale.
"The bloody things been nicking all the food out on the side. I think he peed in a glass too. You dirty little cat. Come here, you."
Dale bent and chased after Wozzy but he was too fast. He jumped up onto the coffee table, almost knocking over the half empty mugs, heading straight for the Hexad.
"Quick, grab the Hexad, if he sets it off we'll know all about it. He will, anyway." Amanda lunged for the table, trying to grab the Hexad before Wozzy got to it.
Peter lunged for
the cat but missed. Instead, he knocked heads with Dale just as Dale grabbed hold of Wozzy by his red collar. Amanda managed to get a hand on the Hexad just as she too knocked heads with Dale and Peter.
Wozzy clawed at Dale like his life depended on it, and then reached out a paw to scag Amanda.
He missed and tapped the blue dome of the flashing Hexad.
0 blinked. All four of them vanished.
Definitely Spooky
37 Years Future
"Ugh, gerroff me, Peter," shouted Dale, trying to push Peter's sock away from his face. "God, your feet stink."
"Don't blame me. If you'd told me we were going on a trip I'd have put my shoes on. Ugh, my bum hurts."
"Mine too," said Amanda, as she got to her feet slowly, thankful she'd landed on her backside and not her head. "That was lucky, we could have jumped anywhere, we could have been up in the air or anything." Amanda looked at Dale and Peter trying to untangle their mess of limbs like a crazed octopus.
"Yeah, real lucky," muttered Dale. He pushed Peter's hand away from his head as he was using it to get leverage to stand up.
"That damn cat, I can't believe he did this," said Dale.
"Well, it's not really his fault, is it?" said Peter. "You shouldn't leave things like that hanging about."
"What!? We didn't even know we had a cat," said Amanda, scowling at Peter. "Come to think of it, where is he?" Amanda didn't have to look for long, Wozzy crawled out from underneath Dale's legs and leapt into her arms, clinging to her ruined blouse like a baby monkey.
"I think he likes you," smirked Peter.
"Lucky me." Amanda stroked Wozzy anyway. She didn't blame the little guy, not really. How was he to know? "Well, at least this explains the poltergeist problem. It's been him all along, nicking sausages, knocking stuff over, that was him."
"Yeah, but I bet it hasn't been him moving the furniture and digging up plants in the garden," said Dale, finally getting away from Peter and standing.
"Fair point." Amanda cuddled Wozzy up close to her chest, not because she wanted to comfort him, but because he was clawing his way up there anyway, so it seemed like a win-win kind of situation. He began to purr. "He's gone to sleep," whispered Amanda. "The first cat to ever jump through time and he's gone to sleep."
