As another wave of anguish filled her, all of the plants around her died. “Please, go?”
“If you need us,” Hera nodded, leaving the rest unsaid as she and Hades left.
Us. One word and it bit deeper than any whip ever could have.
“You’re fading, Persephone. You have to choose to live. Choose. Now!” Thanatos demanded.
She didn’t want to die. Persephone hurt, she was broken inside, but she didn’t want to die. So Persephone didn’t understand what he was asking. “I don’t know how.”
“Look at what you’ve done.” He pointed to the poor plants.
Persephone dug deep inside of herself for a glimmer of joy and found…something. She didn’t know what it was, but it was enough to give to the plants she’d abused with her sorrow. They quickly returned to hearty life.
The pain eased. Instead of choking her, it only stabbed her. At least she could breathe.
“Why wouldn’t you let me give up?” She was glad he hadn’t, one moment of agony didn’t make one end eternity, but what did it matter to him?
“Because eternity is a long time to waste on someone who doesn’t love.”
“And can Death love?”
“That would a horrible thing, would it not? The love of Death. The kiss of Death, to bear his mark and walk in shadow?” Thanatos replied quietly.
“No, not so horrible,” Persephone answered honestly.
“What kind of woman would love Death?” Thanatos asked in a careless tone that belied the impact of his words.
Persephone realized then what she’d done wrong that night. Why he acted like he didn’t want her. Thanatos loved her. Not as her friend, but he was in love with her. He’d asked Hades to take her. For me, he’d said with the kind of quiet intensity that only another master of shadow would understand.
For me. Two words that meant so much more. Take her for me, love her for me, protect her for me, make her live…for me.
She hadn’t thought there was anything left inside of her to break, but this did it. Something shattered at the revelation. Death asked favor from no creature. He was forever and absolute, but he asked for her.
In a moment of self-pity and suffering, she’d surrendered. She’d craved Death. But another realization struck her like lightning. It hadn’t been her own end she’d craved, it had been him: Thanatos. The god, not the office.
She’d needed him desperately; he was the strength that could turn the tide, the immovable object against which the unstoppable force became obsolete.
“I don’t know,” she answered. “A good one, a bad one, or maybe one who was more human than any goddess would ever admit.”
“Don’t die, Persephone.”
“I’m not going to. I don’t want to.”
“But you called me; you called Death to your side when you wanted your pain to stop.”
“It was you I wanted, Thanatos. Not Death, but you.”
“They are the same.”
She shook her head in denial. “No, they’re not. Death is the timeless mask that’s the safety equipment to do your job. Thanatos is the god beneath.”
“And what would you have from Thanatos that you don’t want from Death?”
“His friendship.”
“Aren’t you the goth girl’s dream?” he sneered. “Death, an old friend come to call, a dark stranger no more?
“Not Death. Thanatos,” she corrected gently.
“Does Death have nothing for you?”
“His kiss. It’s dark and cold, but it takes away the pain,” she confessed.
“And what of Thanatos and his kiss?”
“It incinerates me.” The rest of the ice that held her melted and she swayed on her feet.
“What of your love for Hades? How can you want this with me and love him?” He spoke with such derision, but he caught her when she fell. Like she knew he would.
“I don’t know,” she said as she pressed her cheek against his chest.
NYX
Nyx was less than pleased to see her sad-eyed son dragging Persephone through the front door of her temple. She’d almost rather he’d had the Stolichnaya. A smart ass remark about strays was on the tip of her tongue, but there something about the way he held her—something about the way she nestled against him. It was as if they were both afraid she would break like a defective piece of bone china.
She could rattle that boy’s teeth. What the hell was he thinking? Persephone was damaged goods. Not because she’d been shacked up with a god like Hades, he wasn’t actually a bad sort, but from all of her drama and godling angst. Thanatos was a god grown and too smart for all of that nonsense. Or so she’d thought.
Nyx sighed and started dragging out the figs. She knew whether he asked for them or not, he’d be needing the fig cakes.
“Thanks, Ma,” he mouthed.
She shrugged as if to say that’s what I’m for.
It gave her a bit of a jolt to see him carrying Persephone upstairs, presumably to his bedroom. Nyx knew he was a god grown—she knew he’d had more than his fair share of women. It comforted her that Persephone didn’t look like she could handle a round of bedsport with Death.
She paused—eggs mid whip. Persephone was broken and vulnerable, now would be the perfect time for Thanatos to slide right in. Nyx shook her head at the unintended imagery. That really wasn’t the picture she wanted in her head. Great. Now she had something to tell her shrink. When she got one. Though it looked like she was on the fast track to needing one.
Nyx put a hand on her stomach and sighed. She was torn between asking Thanatos for all of the sordid details, knowing he’d never tell her otherwise. He’d keep it all bottled up inside like he thought he was a djinn instead of Death. He seemed to appreciate the fact she hadn’t asked so far, so Nyx was going to keep going in that vein. One would think after being his mother for an eternity, she’d not have to question her first impulse. It showcased the stark truth that parents were rarely perfect and even given eternity, they still made mistakes.
She finished mixing the batter for the fig cakes and then decided to double it. Persephone wasn’t missing any meals and if she was upset, a little comfort eating might make her feel better. Nyx knew would be partaking as well, as soon as she got another shot of that yark-not juice Apollo made.
Unfortunately, Nyx still hadn’t told him the news. She kind of didn’t want to. She’d been avoiding his calls, but with the way her stomach felt like it was going to get up and walk away without her, she needed some more of that magic brew. Which entailed talking to him.
She tossed the fig cakes in the oven to bake and looked at her phone. For the look she gave it, it might as well have been covered in flying horse crap like her ill-fated knickers. It wasn’t the phone’s fault she had to use it to call Apollo, so she probably shouldn’t smite it. She’d just have to get another one anyway if she did.
Nyx sighed and dialed.
“Looks like I’m out of the doghouse,” he said by way of greeting.
“You weren’t in the doghouse.”
“No? You stood me up and then wouldn’t answer my calls. I did something to piss you off.”
Why did he sound so fucking cheery? She was sure he wouldn’t be later when she dumped this news on him. “Wanna come over?”
“I don’t know. Are you going to answer the door? Because let me tell you, I’ve never had a goddess not open the door when I’ve come to call. I don’t think I care for it,” Apollo replied.
“Sorry about that. Things have been what you’d call crazy around here.”
“Yeah, I saw that big blow up on the Lane with Persephone and Hades and I saw Thanatos carrying her back to your temple.”
“This has absolutely nothing to do with that,” she swore.
“Then what does it have to do with?” Apollo asked in a curious tone.
“Can we just talk about that when you get here?” Oh, do not make me tell you this news on the phone, buddy.
“Yeah, sure. Y
ou’re making it sound dire, Nyx. It’s not like you’re some cheerleader who has to tell the football captain she’s pregnant.” He laughed.
“Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?” Fine. He wanted it that way, he could have it. “It is like that.”
“Took you long enough.”
“What was that?” No, she couldn’t have heard him right. Could she?
“I do believe you heard me, Nyx. You were glowing brighter than the sun that morning. I’ve fathered enough children to know when a goddess is pregnant.”
“So, were you just going to let me angst on this all by myself?”
“Hey, I came over. You didn’t let me in.”
“I don’t know if I’d let you in now. I can’t believe you knew and you just…what if I’d never told you?”
“I didn’t have to burn that bridge, did I?” he tossed back.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re so happy about.”
“I’m going to be a father again, Nyx. I’m happy because you made me happy.”
“Okay, this is so not the standard fare when the girl gets knocked up on the first date.”
“We’re gods. And it’s not like you don’t know me. I didn’t pick you up in the bar and take you home for a quick one off. I like you. I want to spend time with you.”
“Spending time with me isn’t the same as bringing life into the world, Apollo.”
“No, it’s not. And if we could have waited before we got pregnant, that would have been the best choice. I’m not stupid, I know that. But why are you angry at me because I want to do this with you?”
“I don’t know, damn it. But I am.”
“Great. Nine months of unprovoked anger,” he said with a light laugh.
It was Nyx’s turn to laugh. “Oh, honey. Are you sitting down? Because you want to talk about funny?” She laughed some more. It may have even been a cackle. “It’s not nine months.”
“Less? I guess that makes sense since you’re a titan.”
“Wrong again, Apollo. Try nine damn years. Try that one on for size.”
Dead silence greeted her on the other end.
“Not so excited now, are you?” she said bitterly.
“I guess that will give us time to establish a solid relationship.” His voice was still light.
“Are you kidding me?” What was wrong with him? He was still happy. It wasn’t logical. He was a male—he had a penis. She knew that for sure. What she didn’t know was why he was making these promises. He didn’t have to say pretty things to get into her knickers. He’d already been there.
“Not the reaction you wanted? What should I do? Hang up on you? Ask if it’s mine? Say it’s not? I’m a mature god—you could even say grown. Adult. I knew there was a possibility you could get pregnant when I was between your sweet thighs.”
“Have you thought about what we could have made?” she said quietly.
“My daughter if you’re throwing up already.”
“With Nod, you would have thought our children would have been quiet wispy things. He was the God of Dreams. But I brought forth Sleep and Death. I’m the Goddess of the Night, Apollo. You’re the God of the Sun. It would make sense if Dawn wasn’t already taken, but she is. As is Twilight. We’d be lucky if she’s only the Goddess of Nightmares. And would you really wish that on a small child?”
“Thanatos bears the heaviest weight of all of us and he turned out fine.”
His logic was so… so…male. She growled into the phone.
“Look, I’m not dismissing your fears. But no matter what her powers are, she’ll be our child, okay? We’ll deal with whatever else when it comes. Don’t buy trouble,” he said in a soothing voice.
She was still pissed. Nyx knew it was illogical and unreasonable. He was being supportive and she was being a bitch. Well, he’d better get used to it. “So, you still want to come over?”
“Have you decided if you’re going to open the door?”
Nyx smiled. “I guess.”
“I’ll see you in a bit. You want the potion don’t you?”
Damn it. The whole reason she’d caved and called him and she’d forgotten to ask for it. Did she already have pregnant brain? That didn’t usually hit her until year four. She wouldn’t trade her children for anything, even this new little being she hadn’t met yet, but she despised being pregnant.
“Yeah. I can’t eat without it.”
“And you waited this long to call me? Nyx, you have to take better care of yourself.”
“Rule number one, no nagging.”
“Fine. My rule number one, take care of yourself.”
“Fine.” She had the incredibly infantile urge to tell him he wasn’t the boss of her.
“There, see? Everything is going to be okay. I’ll see you in a little bit.” Apollo hung up.
A sharp ringing sound jarred her so she dropped the phone. It clattered to the floor and one of the pieces skittered under the oven. Oven! The cakes. Thank gods for the timer on the oven, or she would have forgotten the damn cakes.
Apollo could get her a new phone. It was his fault she’d dropped this one anyway. She pulled the fig cakes from the over and turned to see her son standing in front of the kitchen island with his mouth hanging open. It almost looked like it was hanging free of muscle and tendon, it sort of wobbled.
“Close your mouth, Thanatos.”
Nyx could swear she heard an audible creak as he attempted to close it. “Wait for the cakes to cool off first. I haven’t even frosted them yet. Greedy boy.”
She knew he wasn’t agape at the cakes. He’d probably heard every fricking word she’d said to Apollo. Nyx hadn’t planned on telling him yet. He had enough to deal with. It’s not like Death didn’t have enough on his plate without worrying about her. And she’d be fine.
Apollo had said so.
“I’m going to kill him,” he stated finally, when he could get his jaw to work.
“You will do no such thing, Thanatos.”
“I will. I am. Right now,” he said grimly. He coat began to rustle out behind him as the power of Death infused him.
“Thanatos!” she snapped. “You put that away. I mean it.” Nyx indicated the mantle of his power and the cold chill that filled the room. “Haven’t I told you not to do that inside? Besides. This is between me and Apollo. You had to know this was a possibility when you set us up. So, if you want to blame anyone, blame yourself.”
Nyx was aware that she was tossing out blame like Halloween candy, but she didn’t actually mean it. She’d become an expert at manipulating her sons and she didn’t do it often, but sometimes, when their power got the better of them during high emotions, she had to so they didn’t do something awful. These verbal barbs had gotten to be less of a requirement over the years as her sons had matured and learned to control themselves, but when Thanatos was a baby and he’d get hungry or want attention, everything living within a five mile radius of him dropped dead. She’d only been able to buy the temple on Ambrosia Lane after he’d gone through puberty.
Thinking again about the life inside of her, Nyx knew fear. She was so afraid for her. What kind of life would she have? What would her burdens be?
“You’re right, it’s my fault. I never should have…I’m sorry, Ma.” He looked up at her, his aurora borealis eyes now dark like the abyss.
Nyx crossed around the island and pulled her son to her. He was too tall to tuck his cheek into her shoulder as she had when he was younger, so she put her head on his shoulder and hugged him tightly.
“Listen to me, Thanatos. I’m a goddess grown, a titan. You’re older than most of these gods and goddesses running around spawning their own young so I’ll not deny this is completely unexpected, but it’s not a bad thing. Apollo is your friend. He’s a good god, right? He’s nothing like Nod. This will be good. Don’t you worry about me.”
“Ma,” he protested.
“Nope. None of that. You’ve got your own goddess to worry about now, don’t you
? She’s upstairs and her heart’s broken over another god. But I’m going to tell you something that should ease your hurt, if only a bit. She called you, didn’t she? Her pain called you. Not Death, but you. In her greatest time of need, she didn’t beg Hades to make it all better. In time, when she realizes her feelings for Hades were of the little godling variety she’ll realize what she can have with you is forever and eternal. She’ll love you, my son. Be patient with her.”
“How do you know, Ma?” He asked and rested his head on hers.
“Because I am the Goddess of the Night, I see all things that transpire beneath the blankets of darkness.”
He stiffened. “Oh, you didn’t, you know, look, did you?”
“I certainly did. Not when you were together of course, but the things Persephone hides in the night, her uncertainty about Hades, her fears of being left alone and how he was the only stable thing she knew… and how she has feelings for you she never had for Hades? Yes, I’ve seen all of this. I had to know you weren’t going to get hurt.”
“What if I did get hurt? Would you smite Persephone?”
“Maybe.” She pretended to seriously consider it.
“Ma!”
“See? You can go around smiting people because you don’t like something they did. Even to someone you love.”
“Is this supposed to be a lesson? Because I’m not feeling it.”
“I know; it’s different when it’s your mom.”
“Are you saying you love Apollo?”
“No. But I’m saying I like him and in another century or two, it might not be out of the realm of possibility.”
“He never stays with anyone that long.”
“Good. Then we’ll break up before I could do something so stupid.”
“You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?” Thanatos asked as if this were somehow a revelation.
“Yeah. I’m supposed to. I’m Mom.”
“Tell me this, then—,”
“I’m not a Magic Eight ball, Thanatos.”
“I didn’t even shake you up.”
Desperate Housewives of Olympus Page 20
