“I’m going to investigate the area.” Reece gets a gun out of the back of the jeep and heads off into the dead forest.
Jo laughs then heads to the vehicle to get our supplies. I start to follow when Evan calls, “Julia. Wait.”
I wait for him to approach, stuffing my hands into my pockets. We may have found a tree, but the weather is still frigid.
He pulls my hand out of my pocket and places something in my palm. I open it to reveal a small cloth-wrapped square.
“What is it?” My mouth drops and I look up at him in surprise.
“It’s a present. Happy Birthday.”
“It’s November second?” It’s my birthday, and I didn’t even know it. I lost track of the date days ago.
He smiles. “Yeah.”
I carefully unwrap the faded blue fabric. Inside is a silver chain necklace with an apple charm. “Evan, when did you get this? It’s beautiful.”
“Yesterday. At the store where we bought the ethanol and food.”
“But…” I’m speechless as I stare at the package in my hand.
He picks it up and moves behind me. “Did you know that the apple is a symbol for love?”
I shake my head. “No.”
Evan reaches inside my hood and pulls the chain around my neck. “When the Greek goddess Hera married Zeus, the goddess Gaia created three golden apples and gave them to Hera as a wedding gift.” He clasps the chain at the base of my throat, then gives me a kiss.
I look down and pick up the charm. “This one’s silver,” I tease.
“Silver’s more precious than gold in this world.”
I catch the significance of his statement and lift my chin. “Evan…you shouldn’t have gotten it. It cost too much.”
“No, it didn’t.” His hand lifts to my cheek. “I wanted you to have something special.”
“You didn’t have to give me anything. Being with you is enough.”
He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me to his chest. “I love you, Jules. I plan to make your next birthday much more special. Gaia gave Hera three apples and I only gave you one. Maybe I’ll give you one every year for your birthday to make up for it.”
“I like that.” I smile and stand on tiptoe on my good foot, pressing my lips to his.
He lifts his head. “Jules.” Worry crinkles his brow. “The jeep won’t last much longer. We’ll push it as hard as we can, but I doubt we’ll find a place to buy ethanol in time.”
I give him a tight smile. “I know.”
“That means we’ll have to go on foot.”
I nod. “I know, Evan. Stop worrying.”
“You can barely get around as it is. We could go out and search for more fuel, but this is bound to happen again—”
Brushing his lip with my thumb, I look up into his anxious face. “It’s okay. I know. I’ll walk.”
“How?”
“With the cane we got yesterday in town. Look, I walked with Jo to the house you were at in Kansas City, and my leg was in much worse shape then. That was six miles. I can do this. No problem.”
He doesn’t look convinced. “I was the one who got you into this. I’m sorry.”
“Evan.” I grab his face with both hands and kiss him. “No more guilt. I wouldn’t trade being with you for anything. Do you understand? If I had the choice to do this over again, knowing we’d be on the run, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I want to be with you. For the first time in a long time, I have something to live for.”
“But—”
“Evan, stop. Jo blames herself for what she sees as almost getting me killed. You blame yourself that I’m here. Reece blames himself for killing Julia, and bringing me here. And that I got hurt escaping Deacon City, and who knows what else. But the bottom line is that I’m exactly where I want to be. With you.”
He kisses me again, sadness lingering on his lips. “I’m going to get you home.”
“I know. I trust you.”
His arms drop, and he looks torn. “I’m going to go investigate the woods.”
“Are you going to find Reece?”
“No, I’m going the opposite direction, but I promise to be back around sundown. Are you and Jo okay alone?”
Jo snorts, looking up from the tent she’s spreading out. “That’s insulting.”
Picking up his bag, Evan grins as he crosses the road toward the dead forest. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”
I hobble toward Jo to help. The boys picked up two tents when they traded for the jeep, and we’ve used them the last couple of nights. I may be worthless at other things, but my family used to go camping every summer. I’m a pro at setting up a campsite.
Jo keeps her focus on unfolding the tarp in front of her. “He ran off again, huh?”
I watch him disappear into the woods. “Yeah…”
“What do you think he’s doing all by himself?”
“I don’t know. He won’t tell me.”
“Reece says he hardly sleeps at all, just goes off by himself to work on something.”
“He’ll tell us when he’s ready, I guess.”
I pick up the other tarp and start to spread it out.
“We’re going to have to walk tomorrow, Chipper.”
“Yeah,” I heave a sigh. “I know. But I have a cane now. That will make it easier.”
She shoots me a glare. “You should be using it now.”
I stick out my tongue. “Yes, mother.”
She throws her bag at me and I laugh. Between finding the tree, Evan’s gift, and laughing with Jo, this is turning out to be a good day.
Jo and I have become closer the last few days. We lay next to each other every night and she tells me tiny snatches about her life. I tell her about my life before Evan showed up and before my dad left. Life before Monica died. Life in my world. She’s as fascinated about my life as I am hers. I’m just more willing to share.
“So seriously, what do you think Evan is doing?” she asks, lowering her voice. “You have to admit that it’s kind of fishy.”
I grab a stake and mallet. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s going off to work on some science project. Probably cataloging the rocks and dead trees. He used to do that all the time when we were younger. Before he had access to his father’s lab.”
“Julia.” Her voice is strained.
I look at her. “What?”
“Is that your memory?”
I wrinkle my nose in confusion. “What are you talking about? Of course, it’s my memory. Who else’s memory would it be?”
Jo squats in front of me, her face expressionless. “Julia. Is it your memory or hers?”
I realize what she’s asking, and for one heart-stopping moment, I’m not sure. My eyes widen with my fear and I whisper, “I don’t know.”
She grabs my arm and squeezes. “Think back.”
I can see she knows the answer but refuses to supply it. My eyes burn as I sift through my memories, unsure if the remembrance is mine or not. They all blend together. “I don’t know.”
“Think back to when you were kids. Did you know Evan when you were little?”
I concentrate on elementary school and my second-grade teacher, Mrs. Franklin, mentally scanning the students in the class. There’s no memory of Evan. Did I know him? But the processing jogs my own memories loose. They swoosh in, sweeping hers to the side, and I lean over my legs, sucking in deep breaths as I grasp the enormity of what just happened. I completely lost me.
Jo leans down and her voice rises in her panic. “Whose memory, Julia?”
“Hers.” I whisper. “Hers.”
She releases a breath and sits next to me for several seconds. “It’s getting worse.”
While I know this, to acknowledge it is too frightening.
“What does Evan say?”
“He says he’ll find a way to get me home.”
“Nothing else? He doesn’t have a suggestion on how to stop it or slow it down?”
“No.”
<
br /> “He’s pinning all of his hope on the mercy of the rebels?”
I sigh. “Yes.”
She stands. “That’s bullshit, Chipper. If the rebels actually let you in and don’t kill you first, I doubt they’ll help you. They only help those who help their cause.” She shakes her head in disgust. “And you agree with this plan?”
Evan has been pretty tight-lipped about how he thinks the rebels can help me, insisting we can trust Reece’s mother. After my run-in with Deacon and the UR government, I’m not so sure I trust anyone in authority anymore. “I don’t know, Jo. I can’t get home on my own. I have to trust Evan.”
“Are you so sure he wants you to go home?”
Anger burns in my chest. “Of course, he wants me to go home. He loves me, not her. He doesn’t want to lose me.”
She watches me for a moment with her stone mask, the one I’ve come to recognize means distrust. A tight grin lifts the corners of her mouth. “You’re right. Evan is crazy about you. He loves you and he would never do anything to hurt you.” She turns away and then swings back. “But if the portal is in Springfield, shouldn’t we go back to Springfield?”
This is the second time she’s asked me this question. “I can’t go home without the box, Jo. You can’t just pass through the opening. You have to have the device to open it.”
“What makes Evan so sure the rebels will have one?” She walks toward the jeep, leaving me to stew in my thoughts.
I’ve asked Evan this very question multiple times, and he always evades answering. What if Jo is right that it’s a bad idea, hoping the rebels have the answers to my problems? But I’m not sure what other choice I have.
Reece returns later, covered in dirt and grime, just like he did yesterday when he came back with a rabbit he’d shot. Today he wears a huge grin when he breaks the forest line, and he holds up two rabbits, excited that he also found other plant life. But more significant is the news that he’s found a creek. “We can fill up our water containers. It’s clear water, but we’ll need to check it for radiation.”
“The water is probably safe out here.” Jo says. “The old-timers say the war never touched this part of the country. Only the eastern side and parts of the middle.”
“Maybe that’s why we’re seeing plant life.”
“And animals.” Jo adds. She and Reece work on skinning the first rabbit while I start a fire. She and Reece fall into an easy banter, and I’m grateful that Reece has someone to talk to since I spend most of my time trying to avoid him.
I glance again in the direction that Evan disappeared. What could he be up to? Reece has been coming back with information and food. Evan only comes back with exhaustion and worry.
“Okay?” Reece asks me.
Startled, I turn to him. “Huh?”
“I told you that I was going to take Jo to fill up the water jugs. I don’t want to leave you alone, but it will be dark soon and it would be better to fill them tonight.” He scans the perimeter with a scowl. “Why isn’t Evan back yet and what is he doing out there?”
Guilt and worry wrinkle Jo’s forehead. “We can wait until tomorrow…”
I wave my hand. “Go. I’ll be fine.” I hate that they feel the need to baby me. No one would ask Jo or Reece if they were okay alone.
Reece shakes his head. “We should wait for Evan to come back.”
“Go already. I’ll cook the rabbits.”
They relent and tromp off into the trees, leaving me alone with my fire. I realize it’s the first time I’ve been alone since Jo went off on her daily scouting trips in Kansas City. While I love my friends, it’s nice to have a few minutes to myself. Maybe that’s what Evan is doing in the woods all by himself. Maybe he’s getting some alone time.
I put the rabbits on the fire, the way Jo showed me how to cook them yesterday, along with some potatoes and carrots. I smile, finally feeling like I have something to contribute.
A rumble fills the air. I realize what I hear, and my stomach twists as a truck rounds the corner. We’ve been fortunate so far, seeing people only in the towns we stop in and not on the road. The occupants of the truck could be perfectly harmless, but the hair on the back of my neck stands on end. The bag with the gun is next to the tent, twenty feet from where I sit. Can I make it to the weapon in time with my leg?
The truck slows down and pulls to the side of what remains of the road.
I scoot toward the bag as two doors open. Four men pile out of the vehicle. Their faces are covered in shadows. Are they travelers? Are they Deacon’s men?
My heart races as I continue backward, rocks scraping my leg through my pants. I ignore the pain, determined to reach the gun and forcing my breathing to slow. Freaking out won’t help. I need a clear head.
“Hello,” one of the men calls out in a friendly voice. “How are you this fine evening?”
I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to encourage him to stay yet worry if I’m rude I’ll tick him off. I consider shouting to alert Evan and Reece, but hesitate. Evan doesn’t have a gun with him and Reece would be outnumbered.
My mouth is so dry I have to swallow to speak. My mind scrambles for some nonsense to answer. “Just enjoying the fire.”
“Mind if we join you?”
I do, but I’m still six feet from my bag, so I don’t respond.
They move closer, the flames illuminating their faces. The leader is young, perhaps in his twenties. He wears a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and I know I’m in trouble before I even check out the other three. They all wear faded, wrinkled clothing, but the three other men are even harder. One sports a recently healed gash down the right side of his face.
“What’s a cute little thing doing out here all by yourself?” the leader asks, but he knows that I’m not. As he talks, he scans the campsite, taking in the jeep and the two tents.
The man with the gash squats next to the fire. “What you got cooking here?”
I can go about this one of two ways. I can stand up to them and hope they buy my bluff and leave, or I can continue to look meek and intimidated and catch them off guard when I reach my gun. The latter seems my best course. “Rabbit.” I scoot back two more feet.
He tilts his head and grins, revealing blackened and missing teeth. “How’d you catch the rabbit?”
One of the other men pivots and stares into the woods, and my heart crashes into my ribcage. Are they going to search for my friends or are they going to just take me with them? I have no doubt what type of men they are, especially the way the leader is eyeing me.
I weigh my options again. If they take me, Evan and Reece will hunt them down. Having Jo with them will give them an advantage, but they’re likely to get hurt. But if I alert my friends to the men’s presence that might get them hurt too. Nausea boils in the pit of my stomach. I’m not sure how to get out of this. Days ago, Jo came up with a plan of what we should do if this situation occurred, but it involved all of us. Not me alone.
“Check their things,” the leader barks as he moves toward me.
If they find my gun, I’m sunk. I scoot back again, trying not to alert them to what I’m heading for.
One of the men searches the jeep while another looks in the boy’s tent.
The man with the gash takes the food out of the fire. “Mmm… not just rabbit. Vegetables too.”
Fear pushes a sob into my throat, but I swallow it back down. “You can take it,” I choke out. “Just take it and leave.”
The leader has reached me and squats. He extends two fingers and slides them down my cheek. “Don’t you worry. We will.”
The bag is behind me, inches from reach. I scoot back until my hand is next to the opening.
The leader laughs. “Where’re you going?”
My weapon is in the bag, but there are four men. Two of them have guns at their sides. The leader has a knife in a case strapped to his belt.
Maybe I can shoot one or two of them before the boys and Jo come back to confront them. M
y gun is still loaded. It’s the one I almost shot Evan with, but it’s buried underneath a sweater.
The jeep door closes, and the guy pulls out his gun. “Looks like there’s three more of them.”
The leader hooks his thumb through a belt loop and grins. “What’s your name?”
His question catches me off guard, and I answer before I have time to think. “Julia.”
He drops to one knee and rests his hands on his other leg. “We don’t want any trouble, Julia. We’re low on supplies, and we just want to borrow some of yours.”
“You mean steal?” Inwardly, I cringe. So much for meek and compliant.
His gaze scans the length of my body then he meets my eyes. “It’s not stealing if you come with us.”
Knowing their intentions gives me a small sense of control. At least I know what I’m dealing with.
“And if I don’t want to come?” My hand moves slowly to the opening of the bag. The wool of the sweater tickles my fingers.
“I guess you should base your decision on how much you like your friends.”
I hold my breath for a rapid heartbeat. Think this through. But there’s no time to think as my peripheral vision catches the man who looked in the boys’ tent coming toward me.
My right hand is in the bag and my left palm is flat on the hard earth. But I feel small pieces of grit beneath. Can I scoop enough to do me any good?
“She’s prettier than the last one,” the man behind me says.
I want to vomit. No. I can vomit later. Now I need to think.
The sky has darkened more, casting the campsite in shadows. I’m surprised Evan and Reece aren’t back yet, but I’m thankful they’re not. The darkness hides the movement of my left hand as I dig my fingernails into the ground, trying to free more dirt. The hard-packed earth tears my fingernails, but I ignore the pain.
My hand slides further into the bag and touches the cold barrel of my weapon. Can I shoot these men? I shot the general, but he was strangling Reece.
The bag is jerked out of my hand. “Whatcha reaching for?” The man behind me stands with my pack, searching the contents.
I release a gasp of despair.
With a wicked grin, the guy pulls out my gun.
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