by Candi Wall
“Allen,” the driver offered. “And I wish we could. But I’ll lose my job if I get you there late, and I have a new baby depending on my paychecks.”
“I get it,” Cash responded. “Can’t blame me for trying, you lucky bastard.”
The driver laughed and broke into a bragging session about his two-month-old son. Cash settled back and listened as his hometown of Dead End grew smaller in the distance.
Sometime later Cash heard the driver’s voice through a fog. Realizing he must have dozed off, he asked, “Where are we?”
“Houston.” The limo sliced through a city nearly as complex and convoluted as New York. “Almost there, Mr. Dillon.”
“Great.”
“Not your usual digs?” Allen asked.
“As far from it as you could get, man.”
Shawna eyed the gathering with distaste. The elegance was almost overpowering. Crystal glasses, seven courses, women and men in designer clothing. When had she lost her craving for this?
She saw numerous familiar faces, but tonight, she just didn’t want to mingle. This was more Chloe’s thing, and now with Chloe leaving and Shawna’s promotion, it had to be her thing.
Truth was, the only reason she’d really agreed to come at all was for the chance to see Cash again. The fundraiser had been the perfect excuse. She’d learned he’d signed with Grumps, but knowing Gram had passed, the chances of him showing were slim. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from scanning the crowd.
Skirting a huge ice sculpture of incredible abs and low-slung jeans, she searched for her table. There were close to a hundred cloth-covered tables arranged in the huge banquet hall, each decorated with a beautiful blue-and-white hydrangea centerpiece. The walls were laden with massive black-and-white posters of Grumps Jeans Co. models. People were milling around everywhere, and at five hundred dollars a plate, the annual Grumps charity auction was bound to rake in huge funds.
Grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing server, Shawna took a long swallow. She nearly sprayed it on the couple in front of her when she was grabbed from behind.
She swiveled in the offender’s arms to find Ian Malcolm smiling down at her.
“Lucky it’s you,” she faux-snapped, “or you’d have a black eye right now.”
He wore a sapphire-blue tuxedo with a baby blue vest. But the tie was the kicker. It was bright peach and tan. She leaned back in his embrace to really look him over. Hot-tastic. “You look like a news topic as usual, my friend.”
“Nature gave us tongues. The gods made me so I can keep them wagging. Simple,” he joked, hooking his arm through hers. “You look smashing tonight. I’m glad we’re sharing a table.”
Shawna breathed a sigh of relief. With Ian at the table, she wouldn’t have to worry about talking too much. Ian couldn’t help being the center of attention. “Show me the way.”
She was even happier to find Ian’s boyfriend, Jimmy, in attendance. She hadn’t seen him since he’d returned from a stint in Somalia with Doctors Without Borders. She adored Jimmy, but as she slid into the seat next to him, she noticed his weight loss immediately. That and his smile never really reached his eyes when he hugged her.
She reached out to grab his hand. “Are you okay?”
He nodded, taking in the people around them. Ian abandoned them almost instantly, and Jimmy relaxed. “He’s driving me crazy.”
Uh-oh. “Why?”
“Shawna, what I saw—I can’t let it go.” He shook his head. “Ian thinks I just need to get out, talk to people and get used to normal life again. But sitting here, looking at all these people unaware of the truths in the world around them… It’s hard. The waste of food tonight alone is staggering when people are starving.”
The sadness in his eyes was heartbreaking. “We should do an ice cream, bitch-session movie night soon,” she said. “That always makes us feel better.”
“I would love to.” He laughed softly. “Our date nights were always fun. But I’m going back next week. Please don’t say anything. Ian doesn’t know yet.”
“Doesn’t know what?”
Jimmy’s expression fell. He turned to face Ian. “Let’s talk about this later.”
“No,” Ian demanded. “What don’t I know?”
Jimmy reached for his arm but Ian backed away. “I have to go back.”
“No.” Ian shook his head, his face a mask of pain. “You can’t. I worried every minute. I barely slept. You have no idea what it was like waiting, wondering. You take crazy chances—even your boss said so. You need to take a step back. I know you want to help, but getting yourself killed won’t help anyone.”
He walked away then, and Jimmy followed.
Shawna stared at her champagne glass. God, relationships sucked. Both men had viable arguments, each hurting. What hit her hard was Ian’s reaction. She didn’t find it selfish. He’d spoken from the heart. He knew what Jimmy needed to do, he was just scared of him getting hurt. Of losing him.
But Jimmy’s motivation hit her harder. She understood his need to do more. Even when that risked leaving behind the person he loved. If he didn’t go, he’d always wonder, always feel like he could have made a bigger difference.
Her phone buzzed and she swallowed hard as Cash’s number appeared on her text message alert.
I don’t understand why you came to see me or Gram, but thanks for showing up. If knowing you made a mark in someone’s life was your end goal, you can cross it off the list. I won’t forget you, or the fact that we could be so much more.
So much more… Was it possible? Her heart said yes, but her brain didn’t know what to think.
“Interesting they seated us together.”
Shawna looked up to find Kalen from Concepts magazine staring down at her. Somewhere in the background, the MC asked everyone to be seated. Jimmy and Ian hadn’t returned, leaving her with Kalen and a couple she didn’t know.
Shaking away the remnants of regret from Cash’s text, Shawna forced a smile. “The event planners probably figured rival editors at one table would be good promo. Great PR if we chat, and even better gossip if we claw each other’s eyes out.”
“Win-win,” Kalen conceded. “You scored big with Cash’s cover. I was surprised you were in it too.”
Shawna caught the subtle snideness in the remark but didn’t bother to comment. Chloe had hit the ceiling this time. She’d created a cover everyone was talking about. StyleU’s sales had exploded. “We’re happy with the cover’s success.”
“No doubt,” Kalen scoffed. She raised her glass. “I’ll give you gals props for landing the hunk, but I have to say his devotion to you and Chloe was nauseating. One or both of you must have rocked his world. I couldn’t entice him away from you, and trust me when I say I tried.”
Shawna wanted to ask for details, but at that moment, the MC was asking her to come up to the stage. She grabbed her speech from her purse, staring at Kalen. “Devotion?”
“Yeah.” She huffed out a long breath. “Something about committing to ya’ll. Then he went on some convoluted euphemism about how a cowboy doesn’t switch hay suppliers just because one has a fancier twine holding the bales together.”
Shawna laughed. She couldn’t help it. She’d heard enough of Cash’s odd country-bumpkin slang that she could easily imagine what Kalen was talking about.
Damn. She missed that.
Walking up to the podium, she tried to focus her thoughts on her job and not the cowboy resurfacing like a redundant dream. She was the new representative for StyleU, and she needed to shine. This was her venue to bigger and better things. This was where she started making her mark on a world that forgot a person as quickly as it made them a star.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” she introed. “As always, Grumps Jeans Co. has outdone itself. I’m certain all of you feel the same as I do when I say I’m humbled t
o be a part of such an important occasion. A Home for Me is an amazing organization that has placed over sixteen thousand homeless men, women and children in shelters or homes, and I applaud Grumps Jeans Co. for supporting such an amazing organization. AHFM offers incredible life skills workshops, job search assistance and emergency funds for medical issues.
“Homelessness is an issue in every country. Here in America, it’s ridiculous that it continues. Tonight you’ll see the names and faces belonging to stories that will break your heart. As we have in the past, StyleU magazine is happy to work with Grumps Jeans Co. to fund, staff and coordinate new and continuing shelters nationwide.”
She paused for effect, not completely ready to share her past, but knowing she needed to. “I find myself especially close to this cause, because at seventeen, I lived on the streets, cold, scared and alone. Trust me when I say, there is nothing as humbling as finding yourself willing to do anything for food.”
Shawna lost herself in the cause. This was her time to shine. To make something of herself. To matter. Relating her life story wasn’t easy under normal circumstances, and tonight, it really came hard. Maybe it was seeing herself through Cash’s eyes, or his grandmother’s advice. Maybe it was standing in a thousand-dollar, designer-donated dress, in front of rich people, eating exotic foods and drinking ridiculously expensive champagne.
Whatever it was, she realized she’d become a hypocrite. She’d forgotten what it was like to be lost, in need, scared. She’d lost sight of her humanity for what? A job? A chance at something bigger? To leave her name written in history?
She stalled in her speech, glancing at the people seated at the tables.
This wasn’t what she’d wanted. Helping on the fringe, wearing clothes that could feed a family for a month, or sipping ninety-dollar champagne wasn’t her at all. Making a real difference, fighting homelessness in the trenches, getting down and dirty, was. Maybe only a few people would remember her if she did it her way, but they’d be people like who she used to be. Like her parents, Jimmy and Gram. Like Cash.
Setting her speech cards aside, she gripped the podium. “I forgot. I was given a chance to climb out of the pit I was in. And I forgot what it was like. Until now.”
Cash sat near the back of the banquet hall.
Shawna looked amazing, her gaze soft as she spoke to the crowd, passionate about her cause. The night she’d told him about being on her own, living on dimes, moving from foster homes to shelters, came back with a rush. She’d never told him she’d been on the streets, and his heart heaved. He couldn’t imagine this strong, beautiful woman alone and scared. The way she spoke now, from the heart, her words powerful and gripping, told everyone that she meant what she said.
He glanced around. Almost everyone in the room was focused on her. How could they not? She was magic. She tugged at heartstrings. And damn it all, he loved her for it.
“…abuse victims, natural disasters, fires, veterans, all starting over. Can you imagine knowing that you didn’t have a warm shelter, or worse, that you couldn’t provide one for your family?” She paused dramatically. “Now imagine what you could give up in your own life. Pedicures? That new pair of designer shoes? How would going a day without food feel? What about two or three?”
The room was silent.
“Life can be brilliant and amazing,” she continued. “And it can be cruel and dark. Just when we think we have it figured out, life rearranges the cards. No one is safe from a drastic fall. No one is safe from finding themselves lost, alone and beaten down. Chances are, even if you don’t realize it, someone you know, or knew, has ended up homeless.”
Her message was powerful and real and evocative. Cash found himself standing. He hadn’t thought much about the fundraiser other than its inconvenience and the nagging feeling of needing to be here because of the contract. Now, after hearing her speak, he understood why she so passionately wanted to help change the world.
“I want everyone here to think of what you can do to really help.” Her gaze scanned the room, and he smiled when she found him. She smiled back. “I know what I need to do. Because of a wonderful person who reminded me of who I really was, I’ve decided to step down from StyleU and join AHFM’s efforts.”
There was a loud murmur of surprise through the room.
She held up a hand. “While I don’t expect anyone else to make such a drastic change, I hope you’ll consider as large of a donation as possible. There are also numerous volunteer opportunities, and AHFM can always use hands-on assistance.”
“I’ll donate my ten-thousand-dollar advance to A Home for Me,” Cash yelled out.
Shawna shaded her eyes from the stage lights, her gaze finding him again. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, darlin’. I do.” He eased toward the stage. “I thought I understood before, but I really get it now.”
“Get what?”
“Your need to make a difference.” The roomful of people evaporated around them, and all he could see was her. “You want to change what’s wrong with our world. It’s a big undertakin’, but damned if I don’t love you for it.”
The room erupted in soft gasps and sighs.
“You-you love me?” She shook her head, eyes wide. “You can’t.”
“You figure ya got any control over how I feel?” He made his way to the edge of the stage. He glanced at the people around them before looking back at her. “Truth is, I’m nuts about you. Have been since I met you. I was pushing you for more, but I understand now. I wanna help you change the world. I want to travel, work and experience everything until we write our names in the stars together. We can spend every day from here on out making a difference. Everyone will know your name, and they’ll remember it in an amazing way. I think you’re spectacular. I want to change the wrong with you. I’ll be proud as hell to be at your side.”
“You—” Her voice broke. “You know you’re a little crazy, right?”
“No.” He hopped up on the stage and took her in his arms amid a volley of applause. “Not crazy. Ready. Let’s make our mark. You and me, darlin’. I didn’t see it before, but I do now. We can make this happen together.”
Shawna hugged him and pressed a gentle, shy kiss to his lips. “I guess two heads are better than one.”
“Damn right,” he replied. Turning to the crowd, he winked. “Whatcha think? She’s stubborn. Ya’ll figure I can rope her?”
A healthy Texan hell yeah followed the question, and Cash looked at Shawna. “Can’t buck them odds, can you?”
“No.” She smiled, tugging him close. “And I don’t want to.”
About the Author
Candi Wall is probably the only person whose real name is more epic than any pseudonym she could have come up with—even as an author! She writes because the voices in her head have to come out somehow. Animal rescue-ess (yes, six years as an Animal Control Officer, and six rescue critters later), mother of four, and soccer mom by day, she spends her free time writing—often on napkins at kids’ games because she never knows when a juicy story will reveal its delicious self. She once wrote a sex scene at a wrestling meet. Shhhhhh!
You can find her at www.candiwallwrites.com and on Twitter @candiwall.
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Primitive Nights
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Home Is Where the Heat Is
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Don’t miss these other titles by Candi Wall
He’s determined to change her mind…through her head, through her bed and through her heart.
Home is Where the Heat Is, Book 1
Miya Jackson always believed life had more to offer outside Dead End, Texas. So when circumstances turned her life upside down, she took her chance to break free. A few years—and some brutal doses of reality—later, her little siste
r’s wedding brings her back to the hometown she left behind.
The last place she expects to end up is in the arms of the man she’s tried and failed to forget. One scalding, passionate night is all it takes to make her rethink her damn good reasons for leaving.
Shawn Dalton always hoped this day would come. Hell, he and Miya have a history, and any misunderstandings can be fixed if she’ll only stay in one spot long enough. Now that’s she’s back, he’s determined to make her see that she belongs in Dead End. With him.
Her obstinate nature is intact, but he can deal with that. It’s the cold, detached woman she’s become that worries him. Melting that wall—and reminding Miya of her roots—is going to take every hot, sinful moment he can wrangle.
Warning: Cowboy up has never had so many meanings. This cowboy is hell-bent on rekindling a lost love…even if he has to fight dirty.
He knows just how to tame this filly, but it’ll be one wild ride.
Home is Where the Heat Is, Book 2
As far as Chloe Garrison is concerned, Nick Westing was carved by the gods. Her one and only plan while visiting her best friend in Texas: get that sexy cowboy into her bed as often as possible until it’s time to return to New York.
After a whirlwind week she slips away, thinking it best to make a clean break. Except she can’t get Nick out of her head. And when he unexpectedly walks into her office, her first instinct is to find her defenses before she loses her panties.
Nick jumped at the chance to accompany his brother to New York for a photo shoot, but now that he’s here, he’s pissed. Seems Chloe is doing everything in her power to ignore him. The tender part of him understands her need for space.
The wilder side of him teases and torments her until she finally admits she’s missed him. Even though she walks away, in his book it’s a win. Because one way or another, he’s going to convince her they belong together.
Warning: Contains a commitment-phobic city girl who wants her cowboy—and hates that she wants him. And a hot, sweet-as-sin Texan with the patience and skill to show her she belongs by his side, in his world, and in his bed.
