For the first time he could ever remember, she needed something from him. And was letting him give it to her. He’d watched her eyes darken with desire. Had lost himself deep inside her body as she’d surrendered her own to him. They’d been as close as two beings could possibly get.
And somehow, this moment felt more. More important. More profound. More terrifying.
He’d been upset when she’d left the first time. After this, he wasn’t sure he’d survive if she disappeared again.
Whispering against her soft hair, he said, “You’re the only one who ever thought you didn’t belong here, Noelle.”
* * *
Noelle had done it. It had been a rough start, but listening to Dash’s soft voice, she’d managed to unlock the piece of herself she’d kept hidden for so long.
Until that moment, she hadn’t completely believed what he was telling her. But now that she’d felt it again...he was right.
How could she not have known? How could she have been oblivious to the fact that she was closing off part of herself? Maybe she’d been doing it for so long it was subconscious.
But the feeling of euphoria and elation that rippled through her body along with the full heat of her power was addictive. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to lock it away again, not now that she knew it was there.
But maybe that was a good thing.
She managed to keep her professional facade in place while they finished the cocoa and prepped it for transportation to the festival Ethan had thrown together at the last minute. Belle, who apparently knew the owner of A Cup of Cheer, had arranged to use their facilities.
Although the moment the details were all handled, Noelle couldn’t hold back anymore. Launching herself at Dash, she trusted him to catch her even as her arms circled his neck. She rained kisses down across his cheeks, nose and chin.
“I did it,” she said breathlessly.
“I never had any doubts.”
“I know.” She grinned at him like an idiot, finally beginning to understand just how much this man believed in her and supported her. And always had.
As much as she wanted to drag him back to her office and show him just how much she appreciated his help, neither of them had the luxury of time for that. She had to settle for a single, deep kiss.
Pulling away, she headed out to check on her elves. Dash followed behind her, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his dress slacks. She knew he’d be more comfortable in a pair of his ratty, worn jeans. But as Evergreen executives, they were all putting in face time at the event, so he was dressed accordingly.
Stopping to check with several of her team, she continued to the shipping bay, where the vat of cocoa was waiting to be loaded onto the delivery van.
She was beside the driver’s door when two voices rumbled deeply from the other side.
“We can’t load it yet. Zarla volunteered to test it. If it doesn’t work on her, we’ll just switch her batch with the one Gabriel made.”
Noelle gasped. She thought it was under her breath, but the sound of it must have been louder because a scrambling clatter sounded from the other side. Two faces peeked around the edge of the van, shock, terror and apology written over every tiny, wrinkled inch.
“What do you mean the batch Gabriel made? When did my father make cocoa? I thought everything he’d made had been used or thrown out as unstable.” After a few weeks, the magick had begun to weaken and become dangerously erratic, which was why they produced the concoction on an as-needed basis.
One of the elves cleared his throat nervously. The other’s gaze flickered to the floor.
Pulling out her best “boss” voice, she demanded, “Tell me what you meant. Now.”
Dash wrapped a hand around her arm and spun her to face him. But Noelle wasn’t finished with the elves. She glared at him, but he wasn’t even looking at her. His gaze was focused completely on the men behind her.
“Why don’t you both go fetch Zarla?”
Before she could pull in enough breath to order them not to leave, they were scurrying away like roaches from the light.
The hurt blooming inside her chest was quickly being overrun with anger, and Dash was making himself the perfect target.
Pushing into her personal space, he forced her backward. Her spine collided with the hard panel of the van. Lodged between her open legs, the hard press of his thigh rubbed against her. A thrill of need whipped through her, but she bit down on it and forced it away. Now was not the time.
She ground out, “What are you doing?”
“Talking some sense into you before you do something you’ll regret.” His hard voice softened. “Elle, he did it because he didn’t want you to leave. He loves you and missed you and wanted you to stay.”
Unexpected tears stung her eyes. She tried to blink them away, but it didn’t help. “He didn’t believe I could handle it, Dash. My own father thought I was going to fail.”
His mouth turned down into a frown and his beautiful green eyes flooded with sympathy and softness. Part of her wanted it. She wanted to let him wash over her like a balm, soothing away the pinch of pain lodged in the center of her chest.
But that wasn’t the kind of girl she was. At least not anymore.
“He didn’t understand, Elle. How could he? You’ve locked everyone out, including him. He was trying to protect you. Help you.”
“By lying to me? How in heaven’s name is that supposed to help, Dash? ‘Let’s let the poor thing think she’s good enough to handle this while we secretly clean up all her messes?’ That’s no way to live.”
Letting go of his hold on her arms, he slid his finger over the ridge of her cheekbone and smoothed her hair away from her face. “I know, sweetheart. I’m not saying I agree with his methods, just that his actions came from a good place. You have every right to be angry with him, but just take a deep breath and think before you figure out what to do about it. Don’t let your emotions force you into a decision you’ll regret later.”
Slowly, she nodded. His chest rose and fell on a deep sigh. He let his head drop, bringing them forehead to forehead. “I’m sorry, Elle.”
Warmth slipped into her veins. Not the familiar blast of explosive need, but something gentler and more comforting.
Maybe if the churning heat had been there, her brain never would have started spinning, but it did. That lull left enough time for a single, irrevocable thought to slam into her.
Shoving his shoulders, she forced Dash backward.
Confusion, sadness and comfort all mixed together inside those damn mesmerizing eyes. Maybe they were enchanted, because they definitely had the ability to blind her.
“You knew what he was doing.”
Dash started to shake his head, but stopped just shy of actually making the denial. Dismay and guilt swirled across his expression before he managed to slam a blank wall down.
“I knew he was hiding that he was well enough to return to work, but not what he planned to do with the cocoa.”
“Oh, because that makes it better?” Her voice rang with accusation. “He lied to me. You lied to me.”
He started to reach for her again, but Noelle flinched away from him. Dropping his hands to his sides, he let them curl into tight fists.
“What would you have done if he told you he was ready to return to work, Elle?” The hard edge in his voice cut across her skin.
“Gone back to my life and my job.”
Something bright and painful flashed through his eyes before he gave one hard nod. “Exactly. Elle, you don’t belong in D.C. or with the CIA. You belong here, with your clan. With your father.” His voice dropped low, a shattering whisper that made her heart ache even as the rest of her body lit up with need. “With me.”
She shook her head. Fear and hope and hurt tightened like a
band across her chest, stealing her ability to breathe.
Jerking her gaze away from his, Noelle stared up the slope of the mountain she’d once called home. The sharp stab of longing surprised her, but it didn’t change anything. Not really. “I don’t belong here, Dash. I never have.”
Strong hands wrapped around the curve of her shoulders. He moved in front of her, filling her gaze and forcing her to look at him. “You do, Elle. There are people here who love you. Accept you for who you are—everything you are.”
Did he mean himself? Did he love her? And if he did, did it matter? Could she give up everything for him? Try again and risk getting her heart ripped into shreds again?
Fear made her entire body tremble. She wanted to. The urge was so strong she almost collapsed into his arms in a sobbing mess. But she couldn’t. Noelle Frost was stronger than that. She’d worked hard to figure out who she was and where she belonged.
“Stay, Elle. I want you to stay. I need you to stay.”
He didn’t say he loved her. Or that he wanted to get married again and make this permanent. He’d lied to her. Manipulated her.
She couldn’t think when he was this close. She needed logic and space.
Pushing him away again, she stared up into his deep green eyes and said, “Then you shouldn’t have lied to me.”
She walked away. And once again, he let her go.
Chapter 7
Almost the entire clan was in Gingerbread, making merry and serving mind-wiping cocoa to the entire population, Noelle thought as she looked around her room. Dark wood glowed with a warmth so inherent to the place that it seeped into every nook and cranny.
She was going to miss it. The realization startled her, although she wasn’t entirely certain why. Whenever she’d thought back on her life at the lodge, it had been difficult to remember anything other than the painful memories.
Today all the good ones flooded in instead. The few memories she had of her mother, a soft, lilting voice that trickled over her like the melody of a babbling brook. Comforting arms and shocking blue eyes that matched her own.
Moments with her father, his gruff exterior hiding the heart of a teddy bear. She was still angry with him, but Dash had been right. What he’d done had been out of love, even if he’d gone about it the wrong way. But, now that her anger had burned off a little, she could admit some of it was her fault. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d seen him in the past eight years. Whatever had happened between her and Dash, her father hadn’t deserved to be punished for it.
And whatever happened now, she made a vow it wouldn’t continue that way.
Turning her back on the life she once had, Noelle wheeled her suitcase out into the empty hallway and headed downstairs.
Her chest ached with the force of holding back the tears that wanted to slip free. There was a sense of déjà vu. The memory of leaving eight years ago melded with now. The difference was that today hurt more.
Why did it hurt more?
It was difficult to see through the sheen of unshed tears. And she was so lost in her own misery that she wasn’t paying attention.
Her body slammed into something soft and solid. A high-pitched squeak blasted into the air. Noelle wasn’t sure if she’d made the sound or if the person she’d nearly bowled over had.
Automatically, her body shifted to compensate for the change in her center of gravity. Reaching out, she steadied the woman, finally realizing she’d run into Merry.
The older woman blinked up at her with wide, unfocused eyes.
“Noelle, dear, what are you doing here? I thought everyone was in town.”
Noelle shook her head, and for some reason the kindly eyes moving softly over her from head to toe were her undoing. Everything she’d been holding back spewed out in a choking sob. Huge, fat teardrops flowed down her face.
Without thought, the other woman reached for her, wrapping Noelle tight against her short, plump body.
“Oh, sweetie. Everything’s going to be fine.”
Noelle couldn’t force words past the gurgling, shrill cacophony of her breakdown, so she just shook her head.
Merry’s arms tightened around her. Her hands slipped comfortingly up and down Noelle’s spine. She rocked them back and forth as if Noelle was a child and hummed a soothing melody beneath her breath.
Noelle had no idea how long they stood there, but eventually her sobs began to fade. The heavy weight of her grief and fear eased from her chest, leaving nothing but a hitching hiccup.
When the crying jag was finally over, Merry held her at arm’s length. She looked deep into Noelle’s eyes and smiled. “Better?”
Noelle nodded, not sure what else to do or say. She’d known Merry her entire life and liked the woman immensely. Who wouldn’t? She was sweet and kind and Mrs. Claus, for heaven’s sake. But they’d never been overly close. Until today. For some strange reason, Noelle wanted to spill her guts to the woman who reminded her of the grandmother she’d always wanted and had never had.
Merry’s gaze dropped to the suitcase at her feet. “Going somewhere?”
“I’m leaving,” Noelle croaked out.
“That’s a shame. Everyone’s going to miss you, Noelle. Especially Dash and Gabriel.”
She shook her head, an echo of her earlier anger slipping back. “My father lied to me. He’s been well enough to resume his job for weeks. Dash knew and didn’t say anything.”
A sad smile flitted across Merry’s lips. “Sometimes we do hurtful things to the ones we love, Noelle.” Plump fingers slipped across her cheek. “Lying to you was wrong, but maybe they had good reason. And at the end of the day, you have to decide what’s more important. Are you going to let one mistake destroy everything? Are you going to let your own fears and insecurities come between years of history and love?”
For some reason, Noelle thought maybe Merry was talking about more than her relationship with Dash and her father, but she didn’t understand enough to untangle the undercurrents flowing beneath the words.
“Do you love Dash? Do you want a life with him?”
Noelle swallowed and nodded.
“Then what are you doing standing in the hallway with your suitcase? You’re a strong woman, Noelle Frost. You’ve forged and fought. You stand toe-to-toe with anyone who gets in your way. Why are you walking away from what you want without a fight? Again?”
Goose bumps spread across Noelle’s skin. Merry was right. She’d looked some of the most dangerous criminals in the eye—murderers, terrorists and spies—without flinching. Why did the thought of opening herself up to Dash make her want to run and hide?
Not anymore.
* * *
The smile hardened across Dash’s face. He’d been wearing the expression for what felt like days, but was probably only a couple hours. The lie hurt. When would this torture end?
He desperately wanted to get to his hot shop. Not so he could bury his misery in something creative, but so he could smash anything he could get his hands on into tiny, irrevocable shards of glittering glass.
But he had a job to do first. Beside him, Cole and Taryn had their heads bent together as they whispered to each other. Ethan was laughing and Lark was giggling like a schoolgirl. Their happiness scraped across his last nerve.
And Belle...his little sister was nowhere to be seen. The little shit had disappeared barely fifteen minutes into this PR farce. Her untimely disappearances were really beginning to piss him off. He was stuck here, miserable, so why the hell wasn’t she?
Dash stared at the gathered crowd. The street was filled. The air rife with happiness and good cheer. Apparently the cocoa had worked, because not a single citizen mentioned the flying car. Although, he’d never doubted. Noelle was one of the most powerful witches he’d ever met.
Jus
t the thought of her had him fighting the urge to double over in pain. He’d lost her. Again.
Determination twisted through his gut. The difference now was that he wasn’t willing to let her go. If he had to follow her to D.C., camp on her front porch and tail her on every single job, he’d do it. He’d give up everything for her. Because she was the one thing he couldn’t live without.
He was about to tell Cole he was leaving, but before he could, a disturbance erupted at the edge of the crowd. The sea of humanity split. People leaped out of the way as a swirling dynamo forced her way through. A few people grumbled. A couple squeaked protests.
Noelle didn’t seem to notice. She had a destination in mind and she was getting there. God, he loved when she was on a tear. His body reacted even as he worried all that seething energy was about to be pointed straight at his head...and not the one that was excited to see her.
As if she could sense his scrutiny, her head jerked up and her gaze slammed into him. Her eyes roiled with emotions, but she was too far away for him to decipher the mess. Her skin was flushed pink and her shoulders were tight and straight.
He held his breath as she approached the platform a couple feet off the ground. Cole and Ethan had both spoken, expressing their appreciation for Gingerbread’s support of Evergreen Industries and offering a toast—and a sizable donation—to the entire town. The PA system was now turned off, and they were hobnobbing with the important people.
Without even bothering with the steps, Noelle pressed her hands to the floor and vaulted up onto the platform. God, she was gorgeous.
Every eye was trained squarely on the mesmerizing vision of her. Not that he blamed any of them. He couldn’t force his gaze away from the petite dynamo that halted in front of him either.
Noelle glared up at him, her eyes flashing in a way that had dread settling thick and heavy in his belly.
At least she’d bothered to tell him she was leaving this time. Not that that offered him any comfort.
Jingle Spells Page 20
