The finger was old and rough.
'Stay still, fool,' Tear said angrily, as she continued her probing.
My eyes popped wide, as large as bull's balls. I whimpered as bright sunlight stung my eyes wickedly from an open doorway. Despite her instructions, I struggled and pushed her away. She sat there, in a clean, gray dress, her hair combed. The hunger and suffering during the imprisonment had left her lean.
'It will mend. Cassia did a commendable job sewing it, but there will be a fat scar,' she told me frankly, and I pulled myself up, noted I was nude under the wolf pelt, and scowled at her. She was a völva, and such creatures were servants to Freya, goddess of seidr magic, ladies of seduction. I shrugged at the impossible thought, for she was as old as time. She pushed her chair back, rolling her eyes. ‘Even the old think about such things.'
'How did you know what I was … ' I began, but the pain in my face stabbed at me suddenly, and I winced.
She waved her hand. 'You are too young for me, likely would be a terrible disappointment should I care to cast the spells. Gods, but I have suffered enough for men, anyway. All my children carry the blood of Lok, as you know,' she sighed. 'All are perilous, as are you. Besides, you wetted your bed last night, Hraban, and I wiped you down. Hardly an inspiring thought, is it?' She cackled, and I lay back, cursing her vilely. The room was warm and cozy, dark in the corners, and a gentle fire was burning in the middle of the room. I had stayed earlier at Grinrock, and in the same house. There was no sign of Ishild. Or anyone else.
'She is around. She is fine, though she did cough greatly the first day. The girl inside her is very much alive,' she said guardedly.
'The girl Odo might or might not find useful. Tell me, Tear, is my child part of the prophecy?' I asked.
She looked at her gnarled hands, and shook her head. 'You tell me. We used spells to find most of the stanzas. They say you saw Shayla? She told you the full verses?' she asked gruffly, but her voice faltered. 'We learnt much from Goddess Sigyn, but not all.'
I nodded. 'I did. She is dead.'
She stiffened. 'Shayla? Dead? Why?'
'I wanted to live. Simple,' I told her, and she looked at me with disapproval. 'She killed herself,' I added. 'But, there is much more to the story. Don't judge me.'
She contemplated it, nodded, and took a ragged cloth to dab my face with. It came away bloody. 'All our enemies dead at your hands. Wulf, Bark, and Shayla, even. What do you think you learnt? That you are impregnable? Survived Vago, and your father? Don't grow cocky. Odo is out there. You remember he wished to take you to Gulldrum, where we come from, far in the north. He thinks you will do all the deeds necessary, no matter what, but he still wishes to hold all the strings in his hand. That you slept with Ishild, well, that hurt him. He did wish to cut you for that. He figured you would still serve the purpose. Cut or not, he thinks you will lead us to our lost Veleda, his youngest sister and my daughter. Is this what Shayla told you as well?'
'Whose side are you on now?' I asked bitterly.
She smiled like old women do, crookedly. 'I think Odo is now the power behind our clan. He escaped that night Maroboodus betrayed us, captured the unsuspecting Koun with him, and did not ask for my return for Koun's. Only the ring and Ishild.'
'He did ask for Ishild, then,' I whispered. 'I am happy Father denied him that, at least.'
She cackled. 'She was with Maroboodus on the war with the Matticati. Your father wished to see Koun's head before giving her over. Then, nothing. You escaped, and all saw you, but Odo never sent him any word. You apparently took the ring.' She flicked it in the air before my eyes, and I grabbed for it, failing as she was fast. 'And then, Maroboodus was just waiting to see what to do with Ishild. He did not know where the ring might be. He rued the day he had to give it to Odo to begin with. Now, you have both, and he has naught. Not even his wife. Lok laughs, no doubt!'
'Give it to me,' I demanded, and she shrugged and flipped it to me. 'Why am I unguarded anyway?'
She smiled, as I made sure it was mine. 'I am guarding you. Such power in such a small thing. Woden's Ringlet that Veleda's blood must be spilled on. On Woden's Plate, and we don't even know where that is. Then Lok is freed. Men will fall, gods as well. Your father needs it to control the Suebi, in order to fight Rome. You need it for you wish to deny it to both. Gods must be wagering a lot of wealth on who ends up with it.'
'Armin wishes it for the same reason as Father,' I grinned briefly, and then regretted it as my face hurt terribly. 'He wishes to control the eastern Suebi, the Langobardi, and the Semnones, but he does not wish my father to have any part in their plans.'
She cackled. 'Oh, he hates the idea of sweet Thusnelda marrying your father. And, I think young Armin will want to rise above his father, Sigimer, the corpulent Segestes, and the gloomy Inguiomerus, who agreed on such a deal. I see much thirst for glory in that young man. Like I see it in you. Only difference is he has an unblemished fame. He is not that different from your father. Suffers more from dishonorable acts, but is not loath to betray and cheat.' We sat in silence for a while, until she breathed hard. 'You believe in the prophecy now?' she asked.
I shook my head carefully. 'I do not. I do. I do not know. All I know is my child is safe, but I still have to kill Maroboodus and murderous Catualda. And your son, if he does not leave us be.'
She grunted. 'Child, not Ishild?'
I hesitated. 'I do not know if we like each other. Guthbert told me she is asking for Odo. Odo, who will make children with her, if he can. Is she even sane? Yet, at one point, she saw me as the man for her, the one thing to rip her far from her family, meaning you and Odo, the man to save her. I did not know if she was merely trying to manipulate me to help you with the damned prophecy, or if she truly had some feelings for me. I don't know.'
Tear grunted gruffly. 'She tried to betray us. For you.'
I shook my head at her. 'Then, she slept with me, hating Ermendrud for what we had, and testified against me, nearly dooming me. Had it not been for the old bastard … '
She laughed hugely. 'My old man Adalfuns, the damned Crafter! A fine husband he was, wise and keen, gentle even, saving me after Bero and Bark's bastards hurt me those decades ago. He gave you permission to marry Ishild, and so you were saved. I was there that day when your father was foiled, and the look on his face kept me going in my sufferings.'
'It was a bad day,' I told her with a small smile, 'but it was not all bad, I agree. Did you love him? Adalfuns?'
She nodded wistfully. 'Yes. But, I had a destiny elsewhere, this prophecy, the foul things our god demands,' she said, tiredly, putting away the cloth. 'It will take time to heal, Hraban. She testified against you, but she had no choice, boy.'
'I take your word for it. And don't worry about the face. Just a wound,' I said, though I dreaded to see how my face looked. 'As for your question, I found out the full prophecy. I remember you wanted me to go far away when we met for the first time. You did not know if Veleda's blood would be enough for Lok, or if she should die. You needed to know if you would have to see your daughter slaughtered.'
She nodded. 'I still do not know the truth.'
'I can tell you,' I told her carefully. 'The lines—'
'Perhaps you did not understand what she told you?' she said quickly, apparently dreading the answer.
'I understood it,' I said, and pointed tiredly at my gear. 'A scroll over there, as old as time.'
She got up on shaky legs. 'Does it say … ' she began to ask, then shook her head and got up to fetch my scroll. Her hands were faltering, as she rummaged in my discarded pile of gear. She stood up to her full height, with the crumbling scroll in her hand.
'Read it,' I told her tiredly. She opened it, read it, and after a long time, slumped. 'Read it aloud, Tear,' I told her. 'Let me hear the wonderful words of your god, Lok, as he cursed our family, the first of men.'
She did.
'The Bear will roar, beware you gods, for time is come to break the bars, sunder the rul
es, break the words.
The road from the shadow will begin, the Raven to bleed on the evil, rocky skin.
A sister, a brother, wrongful act share, a deed so vile, two children will she bear.
The Raven will find the sister, the gods to look on as blood spills onto the Woden's Ringlet.
A raven will show the way, a bear is slain, cocks will crow, men feel pain.
Youngest sister's blood is needed, her heart rent, onto the plate of Woden, her life is ended.
Released is the herald, the gods will bow. After doom, life begins anew.
A selfless act may yet the doom postpone.'
I nodded, remembering how Shayla had recited those words to me, and I missed her. 'Her heart is rent. I am sure Odo will not sacrifice a drop of blood from her damned fingertip, Tear. He will rip her heart out, and smile as he does. If he is capable of smiling.'
She sobbed. 'So it is true.'
I nodded. 'Yes, if Odo gets his way, Veleda will truly have to die by his hand. This has to be present. Woden's gift.' I lifted my hand, and the ring on it. 'Sigyn spoke with me, by the way. Before Bero died.'
'She did?' Tear said with amusement. 'She hates her husband,' she smiled. 'Sharing his prison is not something she imagined their life would be like. She is a frivolous goddess, not a dutiful slave, serving his needs. Lok is not a very good husband, but a false one and a scheming shit bucket. She likes to see him under guard. Of course, this end of the worlds and of the gods’ business makes her uneasy. Perhaps Lok's new world has a new queen? Perhaps Lok is mad enough to fall in his own Ragnarök?' Tear mused. 'This scroll says a selfless act may change things.'
'Yes,' I told her. 'It is something I think about as well. But, as you see, there are a lot of shady, hard to understand, easy to misinterpret lines and—'
'You are not a selfless man, Hraban, remember? Your family has ever evaded—'
'The bloody prophecy by either killing themselves or going into exile, and here I am, dancing with wyrd. Yes. But, perhaps one day I will be selfless. I have hope.'
'She was very pretty, was she not?' she asked. 'She was selfless, no? She was not happy, and would have died, anyway. Shayla?'
'Yes,' I said simply, remembering the sucking maw that swallowed her, and the pain I endured when the vortex of her goddess claimed her. Tear sat back down, and I rubbed my smarting face, discreetly wiping away a tear.
She looked at me tiredly. 'A man to thwart the destiny has to be a strong man, an unselfish man. It will always call for a sacrifice. Always. That means he will not find happiness. Be aware of the hold Draupnir has in you. Your pride is a terrible thing. Your need for vengeance, your position? This fame Fulcher is worried about? All this tells me my daughter will die, and the world will end.'
'Gods. Fulcher and his foolishness. Yes, I wish to be a lord of the Marcomanni. I will not run away. I trust I shall make the right choices at some point, but I am not one to live in a cabin, hunting and fishing until old age claims me. As for Ishild, I will marry her, for she is the mother of my child. It is just I do so. Is that not a right decision? Adalfuns—'
She shrugged. 'He is a poor judge of men, or women. Look at me. I loved Adalfuns, but I loved my gifts and fate more. She will not make you happy, for a reason. One I cannot share.'
'Why not?' I asked.
'It would hurt her,' she told me. 'I will not have her hurt more.'
'You do not trust me?' I nodded carefully, wondering at her words. 'So, Adalfuns. You must have been prettier than you are now?' I dared to tease her, and was rewarded by a wicked smile.
'I was. I was prettier than Ishild,' she said with a sigh, and we laughed. She seemed like a likable old woman, despite everything that had passed. 'What now, Hraban?' she asked.
I got up painfully to stoke the ebbing fires, but I did not remember I was still nude and slumped back with a scowl. She grinned and huddled next to the fire, working the embers and logs so they burnt higher. It was odd to be at peace with her. 'I will fight with … for Burlein. The question is, what will you do?' I asked. 'Burlein might not let you go.'
She sighed. 'He will. He is a powerful man now, and many men flock to his banner. Maroboodus lost face, thanks to you, even if he took a piece of yours with the blade. He is weaker, not enough, but a lot of the finely shining fame is gone. Men whisper vile things about him; even Sibratus the Quadi is an uncertain ally. He is weak for a good while, his plans slowed, perhaps even destroyed if Burlein is not a fool. I suspect he is. In any case, Burlein has no use of me. I will go, and be free for a while. After my granddaughter is born. Lif.'
I shook my head. 'I will name her—'
'Lif,' she said. 'You will see.'
I groaned at her ramblings. 'I will kill Maroboodus, or have him killed. Then I will keep them both, Ishild and her, far from Odo. I'll be a famous man in this land, and she will be safe. They will both be. I will lead men for Burlein, and enjoy life for once. Of course,' I stretched my face carefully, because it hurt from talking, 'I have other promises to keep.'
She nodded. 'Do not do that. You'll break the stitches. It is best you make plans in the spring, Hraban.'
'I will kill your son, Tear,' I told her brutally. 'If he ever runs near me. He told my weak brother, Gernot, to kill a friend of mine, Hagano. He is responsible for many deaths.'
'Just as long as you keep my girls alive,' she said tartly. 'Beware of Odo. And these lines,' she gestured for the scroll. 'We did not know many of them; Sigyn did not share them. This one that says you will bleed on evil, rocky skin? That the road begins from that event? This is the one we knew about, but much of the rest is unknown. And we did not know what a rocky skin is either. Most of these lines in the prophecy are slippery, Hraban. Lok is a god of schemes; he rarely tells us how things will work out. No matter what you try to do, you might play his game.'
'Is my child one Odo will spare?' I asked her. 'Can you tell that much, at least?'
She scanned the scroll. 'They are to share an act, Hraban, Ishild and Odo, but it only says she will bear two children. Not two children to Odo. I think Lif is the girl. The boy—'
'Fine,' I said heavily. 'I will not let her near him. Ishild, nor the baby.'
'I thank you for that,' she said sadly. 'But, spring will be perilous.' She left me sitting, and Ishild came in slowly from the side room. I got up dizzily and walked to her, holding a blanket around me. She looked drawn, tired yet strangely beautiful, and her gray and white dress looked fine over her large, rounded belly. I fought the desire to place my hand on it; she saw this and helped me by taking my hand, and guided it on the mound.
There was movement under it, and that, my lord, changed my life.
I stared at the life growing inside her, the bulging, moving creature that was part of me, and she smiled gently. I was curious, I wanted to see the creature kicking under the skin, and I felt betrayed, for things would not be easy with Ishild. Yet, at that moment, many of my priorities seemed foolish.
'You are uglier than I remember,' she told me gently.
I ignored that, and took a deep breath. 'Your mother told me you have a reason for the things you did. For supporting Odo,' I began.
'I don't support him. I have issues to deal with him. Did she tell you this …’ she began, truly alerted.
'No, she said this would hurt you,' I told her. 'But, I need to know. Why did you sleep with me? Was it because you wanted to get pregnant before your turd of a brother did this to you? For he is to whelp children on you. At least, until he gets a boy. Did you know this? When I lost you for those many years in our childhood, did he tell you about these things? The prophecy speaks of it. Did you know?'
She shook her head. 'I know not why I slept with you. Perhaps to have what that evil mouthed hussy had. Ermendrud? You threw me aside.'
'You were too desperate, too fey, too secretive, deeply entwined in their schemes, and I did not want to be tied down by seidr-using maniacs.'
She smiled. 'I am no völva. I have no magic
other than my blood. I see things sometimes, but they rarely come true. Once I saw a dream that I will ride a horse, and it will bring death to people I love.'
We breathed hard as we looked at each other. I finally shrugged. 'I did not trust you then. And now, I hear you still wish to go to Odo? So I do not trust you now. Yet, you carry a child; my child.'
'Yes,' she said huskily. 'Wyrd. Yet, I do love you.'
'You do? Still?' I said carefully.
'I have a lot of love in me, Hraban,' she said with a breaking voice, and I held her. 'For you, for my child, for those I cared for when I was young. I love so much that I am very tired.'
'So, rest with me, and we will see what comes out of it, no?' I told her softly.
'There are dark valleys between us and happiness, Hraban,' she sobbed.
I said: 'Hush. Let us not speak about the valleys. You are with me, and safe for now.' We held on to each other, near desperately, and I thought about her. She had deep secrets, still, and I would keep an eye on her. I had the ring, and my damned father was shamed, and pushed to a very tight spot. I was, for once, on top of my enemies, able to control my future and not running from them panting and out of breath. I took a deep breath, unsure of my words. 'Will you marry me? They will think ill of us, if we do not. In a normal tribe, they would not allow us to—'
She stirred. 'Let us marry, if life gives us some mercy. Give it a year, or two.' She breathed heavily, and I nodded carefully, worried.
'So be it.'
She sensed I was not happy with her answer, and was gentle as she touched my face. I let her do so, driving Shayla's specter far from my thoughts, and I pretended to love the mother of my child. There would be mountains to climb soon, valleys to cross, and I was determined to do so.
Gods laughed, but we made careful love, and had peace for a while.
I spent the evening and the night holding my hand on her belly, wondering at a tiny foot moving under it.
Raven's Wyrd: A Novel of Germania and Rome (Hraban Chronicles Book 2) Page 17
