by Jo Iles
‘Why’d you come back from China?’ Jessie asked Jack through a mouthful of toast.
‘I don’t know,’ he replied. ‘My turn.’
‘Hey hey, that’s not a proper answer. Humour me?’ she probed, smiling sweetly.
‘Okay. I came back for a few reasons, I guess. I’ve been away for a long time and I wanted to see if I could have a life here again. I came back for my family, my mum. To keep an eye on that big brother of mine.’ Jessie’s face tensed slightly at the mention of Charlie, and she focused her attention on putting more butter on her toast.
‘I’m not even sure I’m back for good, really,’ he added. Jessie felt her face drop automatically. She felt him look sideways at her. She hoped he wasn’t reading too much into her facial expressions. She felt unsure about so many things.
‘My turn now. I want to see you again, so when are you free?’ he asked in his straightforward manner.
‘Oh yeah, right. I’m sure you do, with me dressed like a scrubber and snoring and drooling all over you. I can’t for the life of me think why,’ she answered, shaking her head.
‘You’re serious, aren’t you?’ she asked, when he didn’t say anything. Why she found it so surprising that someone would actually like her, she didn’t know. She was especially surprised to hear this request coming from someone like Jack, who she was quickly coming to realise was in a totally different league from her. He’d travelled, lived abroad, spoke numerous languages, seemed to be pretty well off… not to mention he was in possession of some pretty spectacular bedroom skills.
‘Look, I’ve been away for a long time. It’s like I’m starting here all over again. I don’t know as many people here anymore, and I could always use a friend who’s as good in the sack as you,’ he said cheekily. ‘And someone who snores as loudly as you do, of course,’ he said, softening his tone.
‘I like spending time with you, so it’s quite reasonable in my mind to want to spend some more time with you. Crazy bugger that I am!’
‘I’ll think about it,’ Jessie replied flirtatiously. ‘But right now I have a tonne of work to do, so you have to stop distracting me, or I’ll get in your brother’s bad books.’ It was Jack’s turn to look put out at the reference to his brother. Good one, Jessie. She sighed, realising she’d put her big foot in it. She got up, grabbed his hand, and led him towards the front door before she could do any more damage.
‘I’ve had a good time, and thank you for dinner and breakfast,’ she said sincerely, looking into his gorgeous dark eyes. Still holding his hand, she went up on her tiptoes and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. He immediately pulled her back to him and kissed her passionately, making her wonder why she was chucking him out in the first place. Work. Yes, she had work to do. Lots of work. Not kissing.
Jack seemed to sense her indecision and released her. He began to open the front door and then turned to her again.
‘Don’t be thinking too long about spending time with me. I know where you live.’ He smiled broadly at her and then opened the door.
Chapter 23
As Jack opened the door, Jessie was shocked to see Tom standing there on her doorstep, his hand poised to ring the doorbell. She felt her face freeze in place.
‘Hello stranger,’ Tom said to Jessie, filling the silence.
‘Hey Tom, how’s things? You remember Jack, don’t you? From the wedding? Charlie’s brother,’ Jessie babbled. The two men shook hands and they all stood awkwardly, not sure what to say or do next.
‘So anyway Jack, thanks for stopping by, tell Charlie I really appreciate the rewrites he gave you to pass on to me. Have a nice Sunday and guess I’ll see you around… sometime. Bye,’ she said, practically pushing Jack out the door and turning fast on her heel towards the kitchen.
‘Jessie,’ Tom called after her, chasing her down the hall.
‘Coffee?’ she asked, her smile too wide and her voice too high for comfort.
‘What was all that about?’ he prodded her, literally and metaphorically.
‘What? Nothing. Just Jack being helpful and bringing over some work from Charlie,’ she rattled off.
‘At ten o’clock on a Sunday morning?’ Tom asked, raising an eyebrow, looking sceptical.
‘What can I say? The man’s an early riser, no crime in that,’ she defended, pulling out some coffee mugs.
‘Company last night?’ Tom asked, nodding at the pair of wine glasses by the sink. Dammit, Jessie thought to herself, turning to see what he was looking at. She’d been doing so well with the fibs, only to be foiled by the bloody wine glasses at the last second. Amateur.
‘Are you seeing that Jack guy?’ Tom asked, studying her face.
‘No,’ she snapped too quickly. Tom gave her a do you think I was born yesterday? look.
‘Well, not really. I don’t know what’s going on with Jack,’ Jessie sighed, giving up on trying to hide things from Tom.
‘He’s a nice guy and he’s shown an interest in me,’ she added, slumping down at the kitchen counter.
‘What about Charlie?’ Tom asked, finishing the coffee-making. ‘Charlie, whom I thought you were so in love with.’
‘Well, he’s not exactly been knocking on my door, like, ever, has he? And I thought you hated Charlie.’
‘You know I’m not his biggest fan, but going after his brother… is that really the best thing for you right now?’
‘Well I don’t know Tom, what would Freud say? That because I can’t get my first choice, I’m going after the little brother as compensation? Or maybe I’m just trying to make Charlie jealous? Or maybe, I’m not doing any of the above, and it’s Jack who’s chasing after me, and it has nothing to do with Charlie in the slightest!’ Jessie ranted at him.
‘Don’t have a go at me. I’m just looking out for you.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on you. I’m just tired and stressed right now. And that man is complicating my life.’
They both took big swigs of their coffee and Jessie took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down. She didn’t know why she was being so short with Tom. It was Jack who was throwing spanners in the works, left, right and centre. Before he came along she was committed to a long life of lusting after Charlie and biding her time. Two encounters with the Jackmeister and her head was in a spin.
‘Are you taking me out for the day then?’ she asked him cheekily, deciding to toss aside her plan of working. The third Sunday of the month was generally their catch-up day. Not that Jessie had actually remembered this month. She’d had other things on her mind that morning.
‘Of course, mon amie, where would you like to go?’
‘How about a drive out to the country, a walk, and a cosy pub for lunch?’ Jessie suggested.
‘You’re on,’ he replied, grinning at her.
‘And let’s not talk about a certain pair of siblings, okay?’ she added, looking him directly in the eye for the first time that morning.
‘That’s most certainly a deal,’ he said, sounding relieved.
Chapter 24
Tom did not feel happy. Although he’d left things with Jessie on good terms, and they’d spent a fun Sunday together, he still felt unsettled. As he drove home, he thought about nothing else other than Jessie. She’d been lovely at lunch once she’d finally relaxed. She was fun and clever with a cheeky sense of humour. A perfect Sunday of companionship. So why was he unsettled and slightly miffed? Tom forced himself to pose some pertinent questions and admit some things that he’d been trying to deny for a while now. He’d been so looking forward to seeing Jessie today, but that mood had vanished when he’d encountered Jack on his way out the door.
Although she hadn’t completely admitted as much to him, he’d inferred that Jack had stayed the night. Tom didn’t like that thought one bit. The thought of Jessie with Jack made his blood… not exactly boil, but it definitely increased in temperature. What was it about this Jack that he didn’t like? He didn’t even k
now the guy. Tom had made no bones about the fact that he disliked Charlie, but seeing Jack in her house had made him feel utterly lost when it came to his feelings for Jessie.
As selfish as it sounded, he wanted her to go back to just liking Charlie instead.
‘But why?’ Tom asked himself aloud as he sped home. There were things about Jessie’s image of Charlie which were just figments of her imagination. Yes, he was a real person, but Jessie had romanticised the idea of being with him for so long that her perception of him now bordered on the fantastical. When Tom had seen Charlie’s obvious lack of interest in Jessie in the flesh, he’d regarded him as unattainable. A safe option. There was no danger of Jessie being taken away from him if she lusted after someone who barely noticed her existence.
But he did want her to be happy, didn’t he? He’d told her that often enough. He just didn’t want her to be shagging around with some guy she’d only known for five minutes.
Tom was jealous.
‘I’m gay, though,’ Tom declared staunchly to his rearview mirror. He knew he couldn’t expect her to be celibate for the rest of her life just so he could have all the companionship he ever wanted with her. That wasn’t fair to Jessie. Of course Tom loved her emotionally, but he knew he couldn’t love her in a physical way. He knew he couldn’t offer her a complete relationship in a traditional sense.
Could he? Did he want to?
Tom thought about that for a moment. The thought of touching a woman’s body. Of kissing and touching. The thought had repulsed him once upon a time. It still did, he realised. No, he definitely didn’t want to be doing those kind of things with women.
As he slowed down to make a right turn, Tom noticed a man walking his dog on the pavement. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second and Tom noticed how attractive the dog-walker was.
‘I’m still gay then,’ he said, smiling to himself, feeling reassured. He had started to wonder for a second there.
Tom returned to imagining kissing a woman, just to be sure he was still as gay as he thought he was. Then he started imagining kissing Jessie, and he wasn’t nearly as repulsed as he thought he would have been. In fact, it was quite a pleasant fantasy, and he drove the rest of the distance home enjoying himself. It was only when he parked up in his parking space that he realised, he couldn’t remember anything on the road after he’d seen the man walking his dog.
‘Oh shit,’ Tom said, grasping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.
Chapter 25
Thankfully, work seemed to ease up at the bank the following week, allowing everyone to get back to normal working hours and catch up on their beauty sleep. The seemingly extra time people had succeeded in putting everyone in a better mood, and people realised they could actually do other things besides work, like have a social life and go out. Even go out on dates.
Jessie was in the communal pantry area, enjoying the luxury of being able to grab a coffee, when Charlie went marching past. He seemed to clock her at the last second as he was just about past her, then turned around and returned to the pantry to talk to her. Charlie had deviated from his path. To come and talk to her. Jessie was honoured.
Charlie came and leaned against the kitchen counter and slowly folded his arms across his chest.
‘Would you like one?’ Jessie asked, pointing at her own mug.
‘No thanks. So Jessie, I’ve been thinking about something.’ Jessie inhaled as she waited for a fresh truckload of work to be dumped on her desk.
‘I meant to ask a while ago,’ he continued, ‘but things just got so crazy here. Would you like to go out for dinner on Friday?’
‘Yes, sure, that would be great,’ she replied so eagerly that she sloshed coffee over the sides of her mug, barely missing herself. She willed herself to calm down and play it cooler as she shook her hands, spraying little coffee droplets everywhere.
‘Great,’ Charlie said, pretending not to notice the spillage she’d made.
‘But Friday’s tomorrow,’ she said, half as a statement and half as a question. That was quite short notice, especially considering she didn’t have the foggiest idea what she was going to wear.
‘Yes, is that a problem?’ he asked.
‘No, no, not at all.’
‘Great, I’ll get a table sorted for eight-thirty at that new tapas place opposite the station, okay?’
‘Great, sounds perfect. I’m already looking forward to it.’ Jessie beamed at his back as he went back on his way. She knew she was far from playing it cool, but she didn’t care. She was overjoyed to be going out on a date with Charlie. At last. At long fucking last. She wasn’t going to leave him with any doubts about her interest in him. She was too old to play coy.
Jessie practically skipped back to her desk and grabbed her phone.
‘Hey Tom, how’s things?’
‘Good. What can I do for you?’ he asked.
‘We have a wardrobe emergency and I need you tonight at my place. You on?’
‘Okay,’ he said, a little warily.
‘Great.’
Chapter 26
‘Please, Jack. I need you to be my wingman. Nick’s gone and got himself married, and at this short notice no one whose company I can stand is still available.’
‘Gee, thanks,’ Jack said, stifling a chuckle.
‘You know what I mean. You’re good company. Great company, even. I’ve been after this Nadia chick since the wedding. She’s finally agreed to go out with me, as long as it’s a double date. Like I said, I need you. Plus, you look like you need cheering up. You’ve been moping around the place for days now,’ Charlie added, knowing full well he’d get his way in the end.
‘Okay, okay. I’ll come. What’s her friend like?’ Jack asked, cocking an eyebrow.
‘No idea. She bailed yesterday, so I’ve found a replacement, or else Nadia would have cancelled the whole thing,’ Charlie said, rifling through his work bag distractedly.
‘Who’s the replacement then?’ Jack prodded when his brother didn’t enlighten him further.
‘A girl from work, named Jessie. She was at the wedding, maybe you met her there?’ Charlie said vaguely.
‘Yes, I remember Jessie. We were all talking for awhile. Don’t you remember?’ Jack asked, a little concerned at his brother’s short-term memory.
‘Not really. I was in a right state that night. Plus, I was trying to get into Nadia then and she was messing with my head.’
‘Sounds like a nice girl,’ Jack added sarcastically.
‘Hands off,’ Charlie said, smiling. ‘Jessie’s a nice girl…well, woman. She must be knocking on a bit now. She’s the kind of person who’ll go out of her way to help you.’ Charlie continued reflecting, as though for the first time, on Jessie’s character and attributes, as he wandered off towards the fridge.
‘So you’re on then?’ Charlie confirmed, slamming the fridge door closed.
‘You twisted my arm,’ Jack replied as he disappeared to put on a clean shirt.
Jack had been in a foul mood all week. Jessie hadn’t been in touch, and he was damned if he was going to initiate things again with her. He had some pride. Maybe this double-date thing wasn’t such a bad idea. It would be nice to see Jessie squirm a little. She was obviously up for dating other people, if she had agreed to go out on a double date with Charlie, but not specifically as Charlie’s date. Jack felt a little hurt that she would do that. He knew they’d only spent a short amount of time together, but he’d thought they’d had a connection—as well as some great sex. It had been special. It had been for him, anyway.
Jack knew Charlie wouldn’t bother telling Jessie who her date was going to be. As he splashed on aftershave, he smiled at the thought of how surprised she’d be to see him sitting across from her. Tonight was going to be fun.
Chapter 27
With Tom’s help, Jessie had come up with what she hoped was a winning outfit combination—one that would hopefully seal the deal once and for all with Charlie. Tom hadn’
t been quite as enthusiastic as she’d been about the impending Charlie date, but after a couple of glasses of wine, he’d softened somewhat, and actually seemed to think it would be a good idea for her to go on it. He mentioned something about going after her first choice rather than settling on the little brother. Jessie had let that slide; she was too excited and nervous about seeing Charlie to worry about a snide little remark from Tom about Jack.
Jack. She hadn’t called him. But then, he hadn’t called her either, or shown up again this week. It’s not that she didn’t like him, or hadn’t thought about him. She did and she had. She just didn’t really know what to do about him. Whether to pursue him or not. And now that she had this date with Charlie, she owed it to herself—and to all the many years of pining after him—to go through with it and see how things panned out. She knew she’d always regret it if she didn’t go.
‘Shit, I’m late,’ she said as she stumbled out of the cab trying to juggle change and her phone at the same time. She took a moment to compose herself and straighten herself up. Tonight she’d gone for full-on grown-up glamour. A short, tight, black long-sleeved dress teamed with impossibly high black stilettos and some serious smokey-eye action. Tom had said she looked sophisticated and in control when they’d rehearsed the previous evening. Jessie thought the look might be a bit strong for a first date, but she wanted to exude strength and confidence—and ultimately sexiness—tonight, rather than being pretty and demure.
‘Oh hello,’ came a semi-familiar voice behind her as she walked into the restaurant. Jessie turned to see Nadia from Natalie and Nick’s wedding standing in the doorway.
‘Oh, hi Nadia, how are you?’ Jessie said, unable to resist running her observant eye over Nadia’s clothes. Jessie felt Nadia doing the same thing, and they shared an awkward moment.
