The Xanax had worn off but so had the panic, so James was feeling relatively good.
Relatively, because he was still trying to figure out how to get to Glenn’s without setting off another attack, and, almost as importantly, without letting everyone else know what he was doing. He loved his friends, was grateful to them, but they tended to watch him like a hawk eyeballing a field mouse—well okay, they didn’t have that whole I’m gonna eat you thing going on, but still. He wanted some time to figure out what was going on between Glenn and himself, and whether he was ready for something if there was anything going on.
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The best he could come up with was that he would have to do the whole yard thing again without the whole attempted seduction stuff. Maybe he could stand at the end of the sidewalk and hold up a sign, “Glenn will you please come talk to me?” or “Glenn: Do you like me? Circle yes or no.” He could draw little hearts and butterflies…
The very idea made James laugh, because he wasn’t acting much more mature than that, if at all. He wanted to be well, to be the man he used to be. Neither of those might ever come to complete fruition, but he could be a damn sight better than this mooning, emotionally stunted person.
Looking at it logically, he was going to have to swallow his pride and dread of being questioned to death and ask Chase for Glenn’s number or address, or both. Or ask him to pass his along to Glenn. Or, he could flag Glenn down the next time he drove by. But he was suddenly too eager to wait, maybe it was one of those mood swings, or maybe he was really, finally on the right course.
Either way, he jumped up off the couch and headed to the bedroom, feeling more energised than he had in a while. He paused, heart fluttering in his throat, when he heard the purr of an engine pulling into the drive. Instead of fear pulsing inside him, a strange, and possibly misplaced, sense of anticipation filled him.
James turned around and walked to through the living room just as the engine shut off. When the sound of a car door slamming didn’t immediately follow, he took a deep breath and willed his palms to stop sweating, a nervous reaction he hadn’t had since he’d been a boy, but now seemed to plague him regularly. James started to go peek out of the window, then changed his mind and went to the door instead. If it was Glenn, he didn’t want to appear to be some scared person hiding behind curtains.
If it wasn’t Glenn… He finally heard a door open then slam shut several minutes later.
For some reason, that made him think it was definitely Glenn—cautious, patient Glenn. But just in case—James ran to the bedroom and swiped his cell phone off the night stand. He couldn’t trust his instincts anymore. Just because he wanted Glenn to show up didn’t mean that he had. Yet that sense of anticipation was back, stronger than ever, and James wasn’t feeling panicked. He felt…hopeful, and aroused, a combination that he could quickly become addicted to.
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James raced back into the living room just as the first footstep resounded on the stairs.
Now, he could look. It was dark out, but the porch light was bright, and when he stepped up to the peep hole, his cock gave a happy throb in his sweats.
Sweats. Shit! James peeled his eye away from the gorgeous sight of Glenn Shearing slowly making his way up the stairs. He ran, again, to the bedroom, and battled his erection until he managed to shove it, rather uncomfortably, into a pair of not quite skin tight jeans. A quick ruffle of his hand through his hair, then James grabbed the cell again—then tossed it back onto the bed—and bolted into the living room, trying to muffle his footsteps. He almost laughed again, imagining how he looked, like some crack happy ballet dancer leaping on his toes, hoping to be as quiet as possible.
He reached the door just as the first knock came. James peeked through the hole again, taking a few seconds to slow his breathing—the mad dash had been a workout since the adrenaline had already been pouring through him—and enjoy looking at Glenn. The man really was handsome, had that distinguished look going for him that had always lit James’
fire.
I will not jump him. I will not jump his bones and fuck him right here against the door. Now, if he could just believe it.
Glenn hadn’t known how much courage it would take to climb those steps, but it had helped when he heard light footfalls in the apartment, coming towards the door. Not away.
That was the impetus for him to be able to knock on the door. He swatted at a couple of June bugs and a creepy click beetle that dive-bombed him, then raised his hand to knock, only to stop and place his hand flat on the door.
He would swear he could feel James there on the other side, could feel the heat from the man’s body radiating through the door. “James,” he whispered it, barely a breath of sound. He tipped his head enough to peer into the peephole, and even though he couldn’t see a damn thing, he knew James was looking at him. “Let me in, please.” He meant that in so many ways, and wondered if it showed on his face, in his eyes, and if James could see any www.total-e-bound.com
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or all of it through the peep hole. He waited, as he had been waiting for James for months, even when he’d told himself he wasn’t.
Now fear trickled down James’ spine as he saw the look on Glenn’s face. Not the panic that filled him when an attack hit, but the fear that he wouldn’t be able to give Glenn everything the man was asking for with those heartbreaking eyes. He didn’t think he was a safe bet for anything long term, but he could be wrong. Would Glenn want to put up with him, or was the man simply infatuated with the man James used to be?
Only one way to find out. James stepped back and unlocked the first deadbolt with trembling fingers. He peeked back out the peep hole, hoping to get a read on Glenn, but the man was looking down. James took a deep breath and opened the other locks, then slowly pulled the door open, because he wanted to throw it open and pull Glenn in, wanted to offer reassurances and promises he wasn’t sure he could keep.
He stepped out of the way of the door and soaked in his first sight of Glenn, up close, in months. Warmth coiled in his belly and spread to his chest as those silver-grey eyes raised to meet his.
“Come in,” he murmured, his voice throaty and rough. He felt strung, tight as barbed wire and as covered with sharp edges, but he held out a hand as if to reiterate the offer.
Glenn swallowed loud enough to nearly echo, his Adam’s apple bobbing tantalisingly.
James wondered what he’d taste like there, among other places. “Please,” he added when Glenn hesitated.
A short bob of his head, then Glenn entered, only to stop at James’ side. James stood, trapped by the need and something else, something that screamed of devotion in Glenn’s eyes. He didn’t buy that, though he wished he could. He was afraid his earlier thought was on target, and Glenn only wanted the man he had been. It didn’t stop him, though, from noticing Glenn’s lips when they parted, or the slight shiver that rocked the other man.
Nor did he miss the way Glenn’s gaze shot down to his mouth, or the way the tip of his pink tongue darted out to slick his lower lip. James didn’t know how it happened, how www.total-e-bound.com
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he lost control of himself, but he slammed the door with one hand and reached for Glenn with the other, burying his fingers in Glenn’s soft hair at his nape.
He groaned as the silky strands slipped through his fingers. Glenn looked stunned for one moment, his hands fluttering at his sides as if he didn’t know where to put them. James would have happily made some suggestions, but he more happily tugged Glenn to him and, though he’d intended to be gentle, at the first press of his lips to Glenn’s, James’ control snapped. He pressed in hard, d
elving his tongue between those parted lips. The taste of Glenn flooded his senses, spiking his arousal almost unbearably as Glenn moaned and melted against him, lightly resting his hands at James’ hips.
James let go of the door and locked his other arm around Glenn’s waist, pulling the man as close as possible. Glenn’s erection burned through the layers of clothes, scorching James’ dick where they ground together.
Glenn’s breath hitched and a whimper bled into James’ mouth as he slanted his head for a better angle. He smoothed his hand down Glenn’s back, daring to cup one firm ass cheek as he twined his tongue with Glenn’s.
That little shiver he’d seen rock Glenn now shook James, as Glenn nipped his lip.
James growled, a surge of something unfamiliar, something powerful and unstoppable driving him as he whirled them and pinned Glenn to the door.
Just as he’d imagined. Just as he told himself he would be doing, yet James couldn’t stop, not when Glenn writhed against him and made the most delicious sounds as James claimed his mouth. James used the hand in Glenn’s hair to pull slightly, tipping Glenn’s head back. He dragged his lips down Glenn’s jaw, licking and nibbling until he reached the soft skin beneath his ear. There, James suckled and scraped his teeth over the sweet flesh as he kneaded Glenn’s ass with his other hand.
Desperate sounds spilled from Glenn’s lips, desperate words and pleas. James wanted to drink them down, wanted to keep tasting Glenn’s skin, wanted—wanted everything, he realised. Glenn’s sounds, his movements, told James the man wanted this as badly as he did, and that was intoxicating to a man who’d doubted himself for months now. Here, in his arms, was someone who trusted him, at least for this, who believed in him—at least for this.
It shouldn’t have been enough, but James needed that, needed to know he was wanted. Whether it was for the man he had been or not didn’t matter just then, not to his www.total-e-bound.com
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fevered brain and needy heart. All that mattered was the connection between them, the arousal burning so hot it threatened to singe their skin.
James found the slight knob of Glenn’s Adam’s apple and ran his tongue around it.
Glenn whimpered and gripped James’ hips a little more firmly before releasing him, only to slide his hands beneath the back of James’ waistband. Glenn’s rough skinned hands set James’ skin to tingling, and a part of him was surprised at Glenn’s boldness, and a little scared, but before that could settle in Glenn ran his hands up James back, clutching beneath his shoulder blades.
James’ fear receded and he finally sealed his lips around Glenn’s Adam’s apple and sucked. He felt as well as heard Glenn’s broken moan, and when he scraped his teeth over the knob Glenn made a keening sound that shot straight to James’ balls. His cock throbbed, threatening to bring this to a very quick end, and James struggled for a scrap of restraint.
They needed to talk, they should sit down and—
“Please, James,” Glenn rasped, shaking and rubbing against James so that he couldn’t think past the way the man felt in his arms. “Please,” Glenn repeated, and James looked in his eyes and knew he didn’t have the strength to pull away. It might well make everything between them worse, or it might be just what they needed to make it go away—or it might show them, or him at least, that this wasn’t going to go away with a quick orgasm or two.
“What do you want, Glenn? What do you need?” he asked, keeping his lips pressed to Glenn’s throat. “Tell me.”
Glenn stilled so suddenly James lifted his head and looked at the man. Bright stripes proclaiming his embarrassment and discomfort warmed the skin of Glenn’s cheeks. The man looked at him then averted his gaze. “I don’t know. I haven’t—I just—I want you. ”
The declaration cooled some of James’ ardour—not the last three words, those made James feel like he’d been given a priceless treasure. But what came before? Did it mean what he thought it might?
James brought his hand around to cup Glenn’s jaw. He tugged gently when Glenn still refused to look at him. “Glenn, look at me.” That was more effective, at least for a few seconds. “What don’t you know? What haven’t you done?” James was impressed he could put a sentence together, much less three, but this was important, and he didn’t want to misunderstand.
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Glenn looked away again and slumped as if trying to melt into the door—away from James. James couldn’t let go, though, not yet. Glenn’s sigh gusted warm, minty air over James’ skin. “Anything, except what I’ve seen online. Everything.” Then Glenn’s eyes flashed to his and the desire there lit James’ up in response. “I’ve done things to myself,” Glenn ground out, “and I liked it, a lot, but I don’t know how to…do…anything in return.”
James tried to keep from goggling at the man. He’d thought Glenn might have been closeted, but he hadn’t thought the man was a virgin—at least when it came to being with another man. “Nothing? You haven’t—” Glenn was already shaking his head. James was flabbergasted, which did wonders for chasing off a good portion of his arousal.
“I didn’t—” Glenn huffed and shook his head. “No, I was too afraid to ever act on it while I was with the FBI. I didn’t want anything to keep me from having a successful career.”
He turned his eyes on James and looked so nervous and earnest it made James’ heart ache.
“And I couldn’t, since I retired. I—”
“You asked Troy to stay the night with you,” James growled before he could help himself.
Glenn’s eyebrows skirted up his forehead. “How did you find out about that?”
Now it was James’ turn to blush as he looked away. “Troy was here the day after. I heard him talking to Chase and Xavier in the kitchen. He said he told you no.”
Glenn shook his head. “I was really drunk. I don’t remember it much, honestly. But yeah, I’ve thought about…about trying to find someone else and seeing if having sex with them would help me get over you.”
That chilled James to his core as he snapped his gaze back to Glenn’s. How the man managed to look apologetic and defiant in one was a mystery James didn’t have time to solve. He stepped back but kept a hand on Glenn’s hip, not sure why he did so. “Is that what you want, to get over me?” James asked, more sharply than he’d intended. It didn’t matter if Glenn getting over him was probably for the best, James didn’t like it, at all, and he really didn’t like the idea of another man kissing Glenn, touching him, fucking him. What if some unscrupulous asshole hurt Glenn? What if—
“I don’t know if I can get over you,” Glenn murmured. “I don’t think wanting has anything to do with it, don’t you understand?”
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James wondered if the floor really tilted under his feet or if the wave of relief he felt was really that strong. He thought it was the latter. “Then what do you want?” James asked, then licked his lips when he watched Glenn slick his own. “Right now, what do you want from me?”
Glenn pushed up off the door and, hesitating only for a second, trailed his fingers over James’ denim-encased length. “I want this, inside me.”
“Jesus,” James gasped, desire slamming into him so fiercely he felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “Jesus, Glenn,” was all he managed, then he was reaching, grabbing, stroking and clutching as he plundered Glenn’s mouth. There was no hesitation when he reached between them and unbuttoned Glenn’s jeans. No hesitation when he lowered the zipper, delighted to find that Glenn had gone commando. No hesitation on Glenn’s part when James told him to take off his shirt and shoes.
James licked Glenn’s jaw, tasted the skin along his neck, down to his collarbone, where he left small purple marks that seemed to fuel Glenn’s
need. Glenn tangled his hands in James’ hair, not pushing or guiding, just holding on. James latched onto one nipple and sucked hard. Glenn’s body bowed as a startled sound erupted from him. James grinned around the taut nub—Glenn wasn’t the first man surprised to find out that nipple play was hot. Sure there were guys who hated it, but there were also those who loved it. Glenn fit in that last batch, judging by the pants and moans as James worked his nipples with mouth and fingers.
By the time he moved lower, dropping to his knees, Glenn’s torso was dotted with marks, some that would fade within minutes, others that would linger for days. James didn’t think it was his imagination that Glenn clung to him exceptionally hard when he sucked up a mark.
He swirled his tongue into Glenn’s navel, thrilled when Glenn shook and moaned.
James shoved his hands into Glenn’s loose jeans, then chased the material down the firm swells of his ass, over thickly muscled thighs, slightly fuzzy, further down still until the pants pooled at his feet. Then he let himself look until he couldn’t stand not to taste. Glenn’s cock was thick, not too long and at least average—but thick, James’ brain reiterated. Thick, especially like this, was always good, James thought. And uncircumcised, James’ favourite, and something he had only had the pleasure of playing with a couple of times. Heavy balls www.total-e-bound.com
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hung full and furry between Glenn’s thighs. James cupped them, testing their weight, rolling them in his palm as Glenn’s breath stuttered and his legs quivered. James laved the swirl of hair around Glenn’s belly button, occasionally dipping the tip of his tongue in. Goosebumps pebbled Glenn’s skin, rippling over delineated abs. James traced the seam of Glenn’s sac, using his other hand to gently nudge the other man’s thighs further apart, all the while watching the effect his touch, his tongue—even the warm puffs of his breath—had on Glenn.
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