by Amber Bardan
Julius sits beside Thomas with his big hunting knife and an apple. I sit behind them. Julius slices the skin from the fruit. It peels away in one big long curl. Thomas takes the end and stretches it out until the last part falls from the flesh. Julius slices off a cheek, then cuts it in half, and hands one half to Thomas.
“Thanks,” Thomas says, just like the good boy I know he is.
Julius turns and offers the other half to me. I stare for a second. His outstretched hand somehow proof that I’m really here, part of this. Even if I don’t feel like I am.
I take the fruit from his fingers, and bite into it. The apple melts crisp and sweet between my crunching teeth. He watches my mouth the entire time. Reminding me that in all the time Thomas has been here all Julius and I have done is kiss.
Kiss like lovers.
Kiss like girlfriend and boyfriend. Slow and sweet. Hard and rough. But nothing more. No hands in pants. No orgasms. Just stolen kisses in passageways. At my door when he walks me to my room.
Making out on the couch when Thomas is in bed. When I sleep over in the theater room.
I devour the last of the apple slice, and suck my fingers. My abdomen tightens when his tongue flicks across his lips in response. Last night, he stayed on the couch, holding me until I fell asleep. I swear I don’t know who this man is and it’s so scary to think who he might really be.
Nothing makes sense.
His gaze slips from mine and he focuses back on the apple, cutting up the remainder.
Thomas eats it all up, then leans against Julius’s side. “Love you.”
Moisture squeezes from my ducts and I swipe it away before I’m caught. Just what does it take to earn a nine-year-old’s trust? Does Julius deserve Thomas’s love, or does he look after him only because of our deal?
Julius wraps his arm around my brother and holds him to his side, then presses his lips to the top of his head. “I love you too.”
My heart aches so bad it could stop.
He sounds so sincere. Just what have I done to my brother with my schemes?
He’s been adopted by the devil. Thinks he’s safe. He feels protected.
Is it real?
I don’t know. I couldn’t answer. If I betrayed him now, what would Julius do? He just told Thomas he loves him. Would he hurt him to punish me?
I don’t know anything anymore. All I know is if Julius turned to me now, if he told Thomas to go back to the house, I’d fool around with him on this beach.
I’d do just about anything he wants.
“Thomas, it’s getting late. Go inside and put on your pajamas,” Julius says.
Thomas gets up, and makes his way to the stairs leading up to the house. Julius doesn’t follow. He doesn’t turn.
“Come here, baby,” he says.
I crawl to him. Yes, I do. I crawl through the sand to his side and press myself against him. He scoops me up and rolls on top of me.
I wrap my arms around him as his weight crushes the breath out of me. His tongue plunges into my mouth and he kisses me senseless. I drown in the pressure of him.
It’s so easy to get swept away. I’m lost in the riptide that is Julius.
* * *
The scrape of wood sucks me out of a haze of blood and gunfire and slams me right back in my sweat-drenched bed, heart still lodged in my throat like a fist of blades. I gasp, gaze darting through the dark to a life-size shadow that is entirely not a dream.
“Julius?” Moisture falls from above my lip to my mouth. My tongue sweeps away the salty bead and I throw back the covers.
The figure reaches my bedside.
“Would you prefer it to be?” a familiar tone asks.
“Ash!” I dive out of bed. “You’re okay?”
I hug him. He clasps me to him tightly enough I’m reminded that Ash is a man and I’m in a nightgown.
I let him go. “I’m so glad you got away.”
My vision adjusts and takes in the sight of him. He’s miraculously whole and all in one piece. I really am glad he’s all right.
“We need to get your brother and go.”
His words flip a switch on my emotions, cutting them down and settling clarity cool and calm over me. He’s here to save us.
Ash is here and so is Thomas. We’ve never had an opportunity as good as this before. With Ash we might get away. A chance we could hide from everyone.
Ash has been very good at hiding a lot of things.
I squint. “Are you here alone?”
“Of course.”
I take a step away from the bed, and from him. Ash has a crew, he’s hijacked boatloads of weapons from the worst criminals there are. Why’d he risk coming here on his own?
“Why?” I scan him again. This isn’t how things were supposed to be.
“Have you met Julius?” Ash says, and follows my retreating steps. “You want to confront that? The best chance we have is to get gone fast.”
My brain ticks, my heartbeats grow hollow. “You’re not going to hurt him?”
“Do you want me to?”
I go completely still. This isn’t how things were meant to be. Nothing is as it was supposed to be and somehow I’m relieved. “No.”
He makes a sound, a kind of scoff.
I close the gap between us. “But he is going to come after me.” My hands move to the sturdy bulk of Ash’s biceps. “He won’t stop looking until he gets what he wants.”
“I know.” Ash’s arms flex under my touch. “But he didn’t find me, did he?”
I take a breath. “No.”
“Then let’s go get your brother.”
I nod and lead Ash to the door. We step onto the patio. The night breeze sends bumps scuttling over my skin.
“Don’t you want to get changed?”
I glance down at what I’m wearing. Black satin nightgown. “No. If he catches me, I don’t want to look like I’m dressed to leave.”
My heart grows blades in my throat again. If Julius does catch me... I can’t imagine the consequences. I glance back at the bungalow door. But there’s only three days left. Three days and then there’s no going back for me. No second chances or other choices. I can’t let it happen, I just can’t.
“Listen.” I grab Ash’s arm. “Wait for me here.”
“No.” He steps in closer. “I can’t let you go by yourself.”
“Trust me, alone is safer.” I think of the bedroom wing of the house, of Thomas’s room directly opposite Julius. The suites are big and private but I’m still going to have to walk past Julius’s room. “If I run into Julius, I’ll deal with him, but just stay here, even if it takes a while.”
“And how exactly do you plan on dealing with him?” His voice is sharp enough to be cutting.
This is not the time for sensitivity. “However I need to.”
I give his shoulder a squeeze. I’ll do whatever I have to, and if he’s smart, he won’t try to stop me.
“Just be careful.” He maneuvers against me and plants his hands either side of my waist. My midsection seizes. “You’ll both be safe soon...”
I clasp his wrists, but hesitate instead of pushing them away. “Thank you, Ash. For everything.”
His thighs brush my thighs, then he lowers his head. I brace under the slant of his mouth on mine. He kisses me. My nails dig into his wrists. I don’t open my lips, but I stay put, every one of my cells screaming protest.
He pulls back. I breathe again. The body next to mine bristles. He’s seen me kiss Julius. He’s watched me kiss Julius. I don’t need to have witnessed the sight myself to know it didn’t look like this.
“You caught me by surprise,” I offer as though those words might salvage his pride.
The rush of his breathing fills the verand
a. I inch back and Ash releases me.
My father promised me rescue. He swore John Fury would save me. Seems Dad got a few parts of the scenario wrong, or at least not all of it right. I don’t know about the alter ego, don’t know what deals Fury made with dead men, or his agenda, all I know is this man—Ash—wants me.
There’s a price to my salvation and I don’t think I’m prepared to pay it.
Images slam through my mind. Me and Julius—every violent, passionate, tender kiss. All the times he touched me, and how badly I’ve craved it.
I’d been prepared to bargain with my body when it came to Julius. Yet as much as I prefer the idea of Ash, I won’t trade an inch of flesh with him even to save myself.
“Just wait here.” I hold up a palm, then back down the stairs.
I turn and take the path under the tree. Sand and pebbles grind into the soles of my feet. Grit pushes between my toes. Everything seems louder than it should be, the sound of my body, my steps, my own breathing amplified. I make it to the back door, and with a tug it slides open. Not locked, but then, it’s never needed to be. I wipe my bare feet on the mat and wince at the sting of tiny scrapes acquired along the path. The door closes with only a whisper of a click, then I tiptoe through the dining room and down the hall toward the bedroom wing. The throb of my pulse resonates deeper with each step, like some sadist playing drums in my head while I futilely attempt to study silence. Pale blue light emanates from an open doorway into the hall.
I sag against the wall.
It’s Julius’s door.
Somehow I knew he’d be waiting. His room is opposite Thomas’s. To get to him, there’s only one way I can play this. I abandon all efforts to be discreet. Walk with steady steps toward the room, and don’t stop until I’m standing in his threshold.
I knock once, then go inside.
Julius sits in bed with his laptop, long bare legs stretched out. He glances up, then leans over slowly, and turns on a lamp. The blue light becomes a yellow wash. I shut the door, and there’s something about the heavy click—something so final. His gaze tears over me. Over the satin ending just below my crotch, the lace over my breasts. My nipples tighten. He snaps the laptop closed and sets it aside. The way his gaze fucks me, I can almost envision each day I’ve been here from his shoes, as he tried to stop himself looking at me like this.
Like I’m his own personal fantasy.
He sits up, and his inked skin ripples over muscle. His feet hit the floor. I can’t wait for courage that’s not going to come.
I slide the night gown off my shoulders and down over my breasts, push it over my hips and let it fall to the floor.
He stalks to me. I drink him in, in those few short steps. He’s wearing only shorts, and he’s so big and tall his skin swamps my vison. His thick thighs twitch. They’re coated in dark hairs and I can imagine just how they’re going to feel when my legs are open, and he’s shoving between them. My back hits the door, and then there’s only the sound of our joint breathing, and for once it’s in sync.
He stands so close. His scent fills my aching chest, male and strong. I don’t think he showered after his run tonight, and for the life of me I don’t know why that makes me glad. The silence compounds, breath after breath.
His gaze moves from mine and lands on my naked chest. For a moment, I want to clutch my breasts, ask myself if they’re big enough, if they’re good enough, but then he falls to his knees, and the thud shudders through me.
I look at him—Julius King down on his knees, in front of me—and I’m so wet I could probably come if he blew on me.
My chest catches and holds.
He grabs the sides of my panties and drags them down. My thighs shift, the whole freaking world shifts. The fabric gathers at my ankles and I lift one leg. Before I can set my foot down his mouth is on me—locked right on my pussy.
Heat smothers my core. Air rushes from my chest all at once.
His tongue shoves between my lips and strokes me. Pleasure explodes over my skin and I grab his head. He eats me with his whole mouth open. I press one hand into my own mouth stifling a scream. He grabs my ass in both hands, drawing my cunt against his face. My legs make it over his shoulders, I’m not even on the ground. Then I’m moving, my back scraping as it bumps against the door. He lifts me up. It’s some kind of circus strong-man crap. My palm hits the ceiling, my other hand grips the back of his head. He doesn’t stop, his tongue pushes against my clit and he watches me. His eyes fixed on my face as he licks my pussy like a champ. Every one of my abdominals engages. I flex, into his mouth, into his touch, into his heat. My God, that tongue. I can actually hear the sound, the wet licks and slurps on my pussy as he makes me his meal.
My thighs clamp around his ears, and all I can do is bite down on my lips to stop screams I don’t want heard. Because I’m on fire. I’m in some kind of sick sinful heaven where nothing has ever felt so good. I look down on my naked body hunched around his head—his mouth moving over my sex—I get one branding sight of that before the world splinters and I explode.
Everything erupts, black and red and spasming. I contract, curling into his sucking lips. The sensation of falling sweeps me but I never hit the ground. He lays me down on a cushion of carpet, still licking as my hips twist. My nails dig into his scalp and it keeps coming, pleasure on pleasure. I find muscles deep down where I didn’t know I had muscles, they all clench, they all radiate impossible bliss. He sucks my clit and my knees jerk.
It all slows, softens, but his tongue keeps working and it keeps feeling good.
My legs fall wider, and I stroke his head. Run my fingers over his scalp, through his hair, over his ears.
I’m warm and liquid. My limbs weightless like floating.
His touch flows over me, his hands sweep down the backs of my thighs.
I reach a place of sightless quiet that’s only feeling. Maybe when he promised peace, he meant this, because this is the closest thing to serenity I’ve ever known. A gentle thoughtless place suspends me out of body.
I never want to leave.
He moves over me. I arch into the exquisite drag of his skin over my nudity. His hips settle between mine, and his erection nudges my sex through his shorts. Only thin fabric separates us. I grab his ass and tug him closer. The head of his cock nuzzles my entrance, so hard and so perfect. He could fuck me with his shorts still on.
A shuddering groan rumbles from his chest to mine.
My muscles tighten, and my hips grind. He presses in, only just stretching me. My teeth scrape over his inked shoulder, the musk of his skin fills my mouth. His cock jerks and for a moment I’m hit with another kind of joy.
He grabs my hands, drags them from his ass, and presses them over my head.
My spine bows and I spread my legs as far as they go.
He catches my wrists in one hand and takes my face with the other. His fingers press into my cheeks.
My vision clears and I look at him.
We’re both panting.
His forehead shines. “Are you listening?”
I am, over the howling of my blood and need, I’m riveted. “Yes.”
“Have I ever lied to you?”
My mind sinks a little deeper back into my body, and I remember who he is, all he’s done—yet none of it has ever been feeding me lies. “No.”
“I need to tell you something.” His jaw hardens.
My fingers tingle, pins and needles right down to the bone even though he’s not squeezing my wrists all that hard.
“Whatever happens, whatever you believe—remember this.”
I’m breathless in a different way. Transfixed by his words, by whatever he’s about to tell me while I’m pinned underneath him, his cock millimeters from delivering the proper fuck such a long time coming.
“I love you.” His br
eath fills my lungs, his exhale my inhale. “I really fucking love you.”
My chest shudders.
The words resonate deep down to some instinctive part of me that knows the truth when it hears it, and it hurts. My lungs heave. Then I’m tearing my wrists free from his grip, and shoving him.
He slides off me.
I cross my arms over my chest and roll to my side away from him. I’ve never been this naked. Not even when I was born. He touches my shoulder. There’s not enough air. Everything smells like sex. The room spins, and I get in enough oxygen for just a few words.
“You’re out of your mind.”
I push to my feet, ankles rolling on legs that don’t want to hold me. He doesn’t stop me. Julius doesn’t say another word. I stumble to my nightgown. My numb, useless fingers fumble with fabric, but I get it over my head and my arms through the straps, then make it out the door and slam it behind me.
The hallway blurs.
I won’t cry—won’t cry now.
Why’d he say that? I hate him. Hate him. He said no more games. He said peace. This is the nastiest thing he’s done since I came here. Moisture sears my cheeks. I bite the back of my hand but the sounds still burst from my gulping lungs. The noises won’t stay down, my chest rattles with sobs. Because now I need to run back in there. I need to ask him if he meant what he said even though I know he did. To beg him to know what happens now.
If he loves me, how does he do any of it?
How does he tighten the prison I’m in? How does he destroy the last of my hope? That’s the thing, Julius is crazy worse than me. I couldn’t go through with hurting him. All this time I waited for Fury to save me, and I now know I’d have fought for Julius’s life.
But no amount of affection will stop Julius taking what he wants from me.
I glance across the hall. My brother sleeps a few feet away and I’m the only one who can protect him from Julius’s trap. I pull myself together one vertebra at a time.
Well, I did it, I distracted Julius and closed his door.
I cross the hall with light soundless steps. I don’t even look back.
