I want to pinch my eyes shut, scared of where this is going.
“Right before everything went black, you were the very last thing that entered my mind. I realized I might never see your smile again.”
I drop my eyes from his, not wanting him to see that just talking about his near-death experience is upsetting. I don’t think I’ll ever recover fully from it.
I feel his fingers brush along my jaw and the slight touch sends tingles spreading through my body.
“I realized I might never get the chance to tell you just how much I love you.”
My eyes dart back to his with surprise. I was worried that he only told me he loved me because he was dying.
“I tried so hard to convince myself that I didn’t need you. The moment you walked out of my life I realized you were and always will be the most important person in my life.”
My heart starts to beat faster with hope. Hope that Marcus might be ready for a committed relationship. I should’ve stopped hoping a long time ago, but when it comes to Marcus, my heart just won’t give up.
“I’m not asking for another chance because I sure as hell don’t deserve it. I’ve broken your trust, and I’ve hurt you. I’ll always regret that. I’m asking you to consider the possibility of us being friends. I know it’s selfish of me to ask, but I need you in my life. I’ll take you any way I can get you. I need to know that I’ll still see your smile tomorrow, and the day after that. I love you, Willow. I can’t be the man you deserve, but please let me be a friend. I love you with every beat of my heart. I always will.”
I stare at him, feeling confused.
“You love me, but you just want to be friends? Is that what you’re saying?” I struggle to keep my voice neutral while my heart teeters on the edge of a gaping hole.
“No. I love you, and I want everything. I want you. I want your love. I want a chance to make you happy. But I know I don’t deserve it. I’m telling you that I will take whatever you’re willing to give me, as long as I get to keep you in my life.”
I lick my lips nervously, not sure what I’m supposed to say now.
“What do you want, Marcus?”
He looks away over my head, and I have to admit I’m a little disappointed. I wish you would make a decision for once and stick with it.
“You know what,” I say as I turn around to get my bag from where I left it next to the couch. “I’m going to go home. Call me when you’ve figured out what you want.”
I grab my bag, and as I turn around, I freeze as Marcus stalks towards me.
I’ve seen the bad boy Marcus.
I’ve seen the closed-off Marcus.
I’ve seen every side of him, except for this side.
He looks strong and unwavering, and by the time he reaches me, my heart is pounding against my ribs.
He frames my face and tilts my head up.
“I was trying to be nice. Fuck that. I’ll show you what I want,” he growls just before his mouth slams into mine.
I’m robbed of my ability to breathe and think in a split-second. I always imagined our first kiss being sweet and gentle, but there’s nothing gentle about the way Marcus is claiming my mouth.
He takes a step closer, forcing me up against the couch, as his tongue drives into my mouth. It feels as if the whole world is lit on fire as I taste him for the first time.
The kiss is aggressive, it’s hungry, but most of all it’s filled with determination to claim me, to love me – to live.
When he pulls away, he doesn’t say anything, but instead just looks at me with so much heat simmering in his eyes that I know I’m in trouble. I’ll always be in trouble when it comes to Marcus because there is no way that I’ll ever be able to resist him. I’ll keep coming back because he is the only man I want.
I clear my throat and open my mouth, but no words come out. He’s kissed me senseless.
“Is that clear enough for you?” he asks as the corner of his mouth twitches.
I nod fast. Damn, he doesn’t have to ask twice.
“Now that we finally have our first kiss out of the way, will you go on a date with me?”
I nod again, while my lips stretch into a smile.
“I’ll call you,” he says as he takes a step back.
I clear my throat again and tug the strap of my bag over my shoulder.
“Yeah, sure,” I say when I finally find my voice again.
Marcus walks me to the door and holds it open for me.
I’m not sure how to greet him now, so I end up giving him a lame wave.
“Night.”
I take a step forward but his hand takes hold of the back of my neck, and he pulls me right up against him. He kisses me hard. It’s nothing near the mind-blowing kiss he gave me seconds ago, but it’s heated enough to send my heart racing again.
He pulls back, and with a cocky smile, he says, “Night, Pretty-Girl. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I walk away from him, stunned out of my mind.
Now I understand why the girls used to line up to be with Marcus. When he turns on the sex appeal, there’s no way you’re going to walk away with dry panties.
Chapter 17
MARCUS
It feels like my blood has been set on fire. Everything is brighter, and I can’t experience life fast enough. I’m indulging in things I didn’t show any interest in before I got sick. I’ve even started reading. I’m a sucker for any kind of survival story, I don’t care if it’s fiction or non-fiction. It’s fuel for the passion surging through me.
When I woke up this morning the first thing I thought of was the kiss.
Fuck, that kiss.
I never wanted it to end.
Feeling Willow open up to me gave me a tremendous sense of dominance, which I needed. Up until yesterday, Willow was the dominant one in our friendship. I let her take the lead on everything because I was too scared to make the leap myself.
But no more.
Fuck, it’s good to be back to my old self. No, fuck that! This is the better, more improved me.
I want to seduce her. I want to make her want me until she’s ready to come apart from just a simple touch from me. I want to make her feel as alive as she’s made me feel.
Miss Sebastian was right. A woman needs to be wooed. Fuck, I never thought I’d see the day I would use the damn word wooed.
I let out a chuckle as I fasten my belt. Grabbing my jacket, I pull it on. I haven’t worn this suit in months. Patting my hands over the pockets, I feel something. I reach into the inside pocket and pull out an empty box of Tylenol.
I walk to the kitchen and throw it in the trash. A freeing emotion makes me stare at it before I close the lid of the trashcan. I’ve been having a lot of those moments. I will find something from when I was sick, and throwing it out gives me a sense that I escaped more than just death.
With Jaxson’s unwavering support, I’ve realized ghosts are precisely that, just a fucking moment in the past. I was giving my father more power than he deserved. He just had to grow a pair and get a fucking job, but instead, he took the cowardly way out. Surviving death twice, showed me that I’m nothing like him.
I might have been crawling at some point, but I fucking kept moving.
Willow. I owe her everything.
I close my eyes as the love I feel for her wraps around my healing heart. It’s always there, in everything I see, in every moment I experience, in every beat of my heart.
She showed me that you never give up. You might back down at times, but when you come back, you come back swinging.
With a massive smile on my face, I take out my phone and call Willow.
She answers on the third ring. “Hi.” It almost sounds like a squeak, which makes my smile widen.
“Morning, Pretty-Girl,” I say, my voice filled with temptation.
This is the part I’m really good at. I’ve mastered seduction to a fine art, but this will be the first time I’m using the skill to turn on the woman I love.
“Did you sleep well?” I ask, dropping my voice to a low rumble.
“Uh-huh.” She clears her throat. “And you?”
I can hear her breaths speeding up, and it makes satisfaction surge through me. I’m going to enjoy every second of pursuing Willow.
“I did, especially after that kiss. It gave me plenty to dream about.”
She makes a startled sound, followed by a burst of nervous laughter.
“Really?”
I hate that she doubts me, but it’s something I plan on fixing.
“Really, Pretty-Girl. Be ready at six pm. I’m picking you up.”
“Okay,” she says, and I know I’m leaving her confused, but there’s only so much a guy can do over the phone.
Seeing that I’m already late, I get my ass to work. When I walk into the office, I can hear Miss Sebastian’s voice echoing through the open space that’s busy being redecorating.
“You can’t work in such a stuffy place. This would totally cramp my style. I can already feel the dull juju creeping up my ass.”
When I round the corner, I chuckle at the dismayed look on Jaxson’s face.
“Morning, Miss Sebastian,” I say, as I walk up to her from behind.
She swings around with a shriek. “Sweet mother of all that’s bedazzled!” She instantly scowls at me. “You’ll scare the color right out of my hair. It took me three hours to get the purple streak just the right shade.”
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask innocently.
“Why? Are you trying to get rid of my sexy ass?”
“I wouldn’t dare,” I laugh.
She frowns and leans in closer to inspect my face, then a sly smile forms around her bright red lips.
“Did you finally smooch my angel-girl?”
I frown, wondering how the fuck she guessed that.
She starts to clap her hands like a kid that’s been told she can have all the candy in the world.
“You did! Oh, Jaxson,” she slaps me while smiling at Jax, “our boy finally dropped his assholishness and kissed the girl.”
A burst of laughter escapes Jaxson, but he quickly tries to cover it with a fake cough. Miss Sebastian swats him upside the head with something she’s been using as a fan.
“What’s that?” I ask pointing to the explosion of colors in her hand.
“Oh, I brought samples. We need to brighten up this place. There’s no way I can let you die of all this drabness after I worked my sexy ass off to get you back to health.”
Fuck, she’s here to redecorate. Jaxson and I just stare at her.
“You’re both welcome. I’m gonna go find that delicious chunk of hunk that’s in charge of knocking down walls.”
We watch her walk away, then I look at Jaxson.
“We’re fucked.”
“So fucked,” he agrees.
∞∞∞
WILLOW
Every few minutes, I catch myself wondering what got into Marcus. I was useless at work today.
Not that I’m complaining, his sudden change in behavior just caught me by surprise.
When I met him the first time, I knew he was intense, but I forgot about that after a while as we became friends.
I have no idea what he has planned for tonight, so I have decided to wear jeans and a pale blue t-shirt. I tie my hair back in a ponytail and freshen up my mascara and lipstick.
When I’m ready, I look at my reflection in the mirror.
“Is this really happening?” I whisper to myself.
I’m too scared to take the leap because I’m not sure Marcus will be there to catch me.
A knock at the door, makes me jump. Evie’s already left for work, so I rush to open for Marcus.
I don’t get a chance to greet him. As soon as he sees me, he steps inside the apartment. He wraps an arm around my waist, yanks me against his body and kisses me so hard that I can’t breathe. Just like the goodnight kiss he gave me yesterday, he keeps it short, only leaving me wanting more.
When he pulls back, I drop my hands from his shoulders, where they were hanging on for dear life.
“Are you ready?” he asks.
I nod as I fight to bring my breathing back to normal.
Yeah, intense doesn’t begin to describe Marcus.
I grab my bag and lock the door behind us. Marcus has always been the perfect gentleman, but tonight every gesture feels as if it’s intended to turn my hormones into a pile of mush.
I’m surprised when he drives back to his apartment, but I’m okay with it. The privacy will give us time to talk.
“Miss Sebastian decided to take it upon herself to decorate the new office space,” he says as we step into the elevator. “It’s going to look like a unicorn puked all over the place.”
“Are you going to let her have free reign?” I ask as I laugh. I can picture her ordering bedazzled stationary for the guys.
“We don’t have much choice in the matter. Once she gets it in her head to do something, there’s no stopping her.”
When the elevator doors open, I notice we’re not on Marcus’ floor. He takes my hand and leads me up a flight of stairs. When he pushes a door open, my eyes widen in surprise.
“Wow.” I walk closer to the edge, taking in the view of the city. “I would be up here all the time.”
He takes my hand and pulls away from the edge.
“Stand right here,” he says.
I do as he says as he takes five steps away from me.
“We’re going to play a game,” he says as he turns to face me.
“What game?” I start to laugh because this is definitely not what I expected.
“It’s called Not so fast. We each get a turn to ask the other a personal question about ourselves. If you answer right, you get to take a step towards the other person.”
Okay, that actually sounds like a great idea.
“So it’s a test to see how well we know each other?”
“Yeah, but there’s a catch,” he says with a cocky grin.
“There’s always a catch with you,” I tease.
“If you answer wrong, I will tell you the right answer, but you have to strip out of a piece of clothing as the price for the answer. The same counts for me if I answer wrong.”
Oh.
I immediately remember when we played strip horse. I’m pretty confident that I know more about Marcus than he knows about me.
“Okay, who goes first?”
He tilts his head, and with a flirtatious smile, he says, “Pretty-girls go first.”
I shake my arms out next to me and clear my throat as if I’m getting ready for the competition of my life.
Well, technically it is. I definitely want Marcus standing naked in front of me.
“Are you ready to strip for me, Pretty-Boy?” I say while I think of a question.
“I’ve been ready for years.”
Hot damn.
Deciding to flirt a little, I ask, “What kind of underwear do I wear?”
He lets out a burst of laughter.
“You’re all about comfort, but you have a daring side, so I’m going to go with boyshorts and a lace bra.”
Damn. I pout when he gets it right. That was supposed to be a sure win for me.
“I’ll take that as a right answer,” he says as he takes a step towards me.
“My turn,” he teases as he rubs his hands together. “How old was I when I lost my virginity?
Laughter bubbles over my lips. “I think you started pretty young. Uhm… I’m going to guess fourteen.”
He slaps his hand over his heart and acts all offended.
“You make me sound like a whore.”
I roll my eyes at him. “When we met you pretty much where a man-whore.”
“Fine, I’ll let it go, but you have to strip for the right answer,” he says, dropping his voice low like he did earlier over the phone.
The smile drops from my face. “I got it wrong?”
“Yeah.” He wags his eyebrows
at me, clearly enjoying this. “I was sixteen.”
“Okay, fair is fair.” I remove the tie from my hair and drop it next to me on the ground. I stick my tongue out at him, which only makes him chuckle.
“How many sexual partners have I had?” He’ll never get that one right.
He thinks about it for a few seconds, then says, “Three.”
I shake my head as I try not to smile. “Pay the price, Pretty-Boy.”
He goes for his shoes first, placing them neatly next to where he’s standing.
“I’ve had five.”
“Five?” He sounds surprised.
“Five isn’t that high a number,” I say defensively.
“Still, I wanted to say one at first. How old were you when you started?”
“I’m sure my number is missing a few zeroes at the end before it can compete with your number. I was nineteen.”
I can see the question on his face, which makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
Oh shit. Don’t ask that question.
“Did I have sex with anyone since we became friends?”
Shit.
“Yes,” I whisper.
He shakes his head which surprises the hell out of me.
I kick off my shoes wanting to get to the next question, but before I can open my mouth, he asks, “Did you?”
I close my eyes for a moment before I lift my chin to look at him.
“Yes.”
I can’t read his facial expression which makes me feel uncertain. I don’t think I have to defend myself. It happened during our three-year break as friends. I haven’t been with anyone since we ran into each other at the drug store.
“Was this before or after I told you that I love you?”
“Before.”
He nods, and I let out the breath of air I’ve been holding.
“The night we met for the first time. Do you think I liked or hated you?”
He chuckles. “I’m pretty sure you hated me.”
I shake my head, and as he shrugs off his jacket, I say, “I liked you so much it took me having two orgasms before I could fall asleep.”
Ruthless (An Enemies To Lovers Novel Book 4) Page 12
