People began to disperse, all murmuring words of relief. The lady with the rosary hugged them and smiled happily. One of the policemen stayed and Peter went out to make yet more tea, and set a tray for Van who, like all twelve year olds, was sure to be hungry even at such an unlikely hour.
Van insisted on staying the night with the Cambornes. Messages between Cecily and the various agencies went on but with Cecily’s agreement, she was allowed to stay. It was late and Van was in bed and safe. Better to let her rest, Cecily thought. She won’t thank me for dragging her back in a police car.
The next morning she was brought home by Willie, refusing to allow her mother to fetch her, and she travelled with two suitcases and two kittens, which, she told them, were called Penny and Pip.
She came into the living room, a kitten tucked under each arm and glared at Cecily. ‘They’re mine,’ she said, tight lipped and defiant.
Cecily didn’t dare hug her or scold her, nor could she tell her how frightened she had been not knowing where she had gone. After hesitating for a few moments, she knelt down and asked, ‘Which one is Penny?’
Van tilted her head to the right.
‘Would they like a drink of milk, d’you think? And you can cook some fish for them.’
‘Fresh fish, not stuff left from yesterday.’
‘Of course. Willie has brought fish straight from the docks. Now, will you take off your coat, freshen up and put on some clean clothes?’ She helped the prickly little girl out of her coat and took the opportunity to hug her and then tell her how frightened she had been and how much she loved her. Then she led her up to her room and helped her unpack.
The next morning, Ada came to open the shop.
‘Ada! What are you doing here?’ Cecily couldn’t hide her delight at her sister’s appearance. ‘You’re needed at home, looking after Mrs Spencer.’
‘You need to spend a day with Van,’ Ada argued. ‘She needs to know how much she’s loved. I think she is doubting it at present, don’t you?’
Van was in her room, refusing to go to school, so the idea seemed a good one. ‘I want to go first to see Horse’s wife and thank her for telling the police she saw Van on the Cardiff bus. It hadn’t occurred to us before that.’
She found Horse sitting up against some hay-filled sacks in a room in a sad boarding house. There was a bed and a couple of chairs, but Horse insisted he was more comfortable lying against the sacks. His wife was cooking some oats on a paraffin stove in a corner, where there were some foul-smelling bags of clothes. They both seemed pleased to see her and after thanking Horses’s wife, Cecily gave them some soup and a bag of fruit before hurrying back.
They didn’t spend the day together as Cecily hoped. Every suggestion was turned down and eventually Van went to see Edwin and his parents, who listened with less than approval to her description of her adventure. Even Edwin seemed displeased with her and she went home, miserable, and went straight to bed.
The kittens were put in the stable but when Cecily went up the next morning, they were on either side of her on the bed. Van opened her eyes and said, ‘I’m so stiff. I’m afraid to move in case I disturb them and they think I don’t love them.’
‘I’ll take them down for some milk. You can stretch out and rest a while longer.’
‘I want to give them their breakfast!’
‘Of course, lovey,’ Cecily said, carrying the miaowing kittens out, talking to them, kissing their tiny round heads.
The days seemed a blur as Cecily tried to persuade Van to talk to her and promise she would never run away again. ‘Tell me what’s worrying you, and what you want to do and we’ll deal with it,’ she promised her stony-faced daughter.
Thankfully, Ada continued to stay at the shop, dashing home every lunchtime and at several other times during the day to check on her mother-in-law and make sure she was eating.
‘She won’t let me read the paper to her any more,’ she told her sister. ‘She never leaves the house so doesn’t need to convince anyone she can read. I do the cooking, which she hardly touches, and I try to do the housework, but I know she does it all again when I’m out.’
‘Is there anything I can do?’
Again Ada shook her head. ‘She runs upstairs when anyone comes, apart from Van. Our Van is the only person she’ll talk to. I feel so useless, and let down by Phil’s refusal to see me. What sort of wife have I been? I’ve never been anything more than a visitor there.’
One evening, Ada stayed when the shop closed. Cecily guessed she had something to tell her. When she spoke it was the very last thing she would have expected to hear.
‘I want to come back here to live.’
‘But what about Mrs Spencer? You can’t leave her on her own.’
‘Phil still won’t let me see him,’ she said. ‘And now his mother tells me she would rather be on her own.’
‘She doesn’t mean it. She’s trying to do what she thinks you want, surely?’
Ada shook her head. ‘She is determined to cope without me. She says I make it worse, knowing how her son ruined my life; that I’m a constant reminder of his guilt and every time she looks at me she thinks of Phil in that dreadful place.’
Christmas came and went, parcels were left unopened, special treats hadn’t been touched. The pantry was full of cakes and mince pies and pudding that no one had even thought of eating. Sweets and chocolates and nuts filled dishes and were left undisturbed.
Cecily met Jessie Preston unexpectedly in a lane behind the shops. Too late to turn away, they stopped and stared at each other. Cecily began to thank her for not going on with the divorce proceedings but Jessie put up her small hand and stopped her.
‘I didn’t do it for you. Besides, I could have chosen from several women. Don’t think you are Danny’s only “bit on the side”,’ she said calmly. ‘You are just the most well known.’
‘Is that why you chose to involve me?’ Cecily asked.
‘There are plenty of people that are only too pleased to offer advice to someone like me. Pretending concern for the wronged wife.’
‘And you were – advised – to use me to divorce him?’
Jessie didn’t reply.
‘Did you change your mind because of the baby you carry? A divorce in these circumstances might not have been very convincing, would it?’
‘There are explanations. Someone explained it to me.’
‘Whatever the reason, I’m grateful.’ Cecily hurried on. Dorothy again. What was the matter with the woman? Didn’t she have any thought for Van if not for the shame on her own family?
She was distracted from her thoughts by noticing that Jack Simmons’s shop was shut and boarded up. Curious, she asked Willie later if he knew where Jack was.
‘I haven’t seen him all day. The place has been closed and the shutters pulled down. Perhaps I’d better give him a knock.’ He went out then hurried back to call Cecily. ‘It’s Jack, he’s hurt.’
Cecily finished serving the customer then went out with Willie. Ada followed.
They found Jack in the shop, a bloodied nose, cuts on his face, and a huge bruise on his forehead made him almost unrecognizable.
‘It’s difficult to understand what he’s saying. He’s talking as though his nose was blocked and his mouth full of marbles,’ Willie said cheerfully. ‘Been fighting again.’
They took him into the back kitchen and Ada carefully bathed his wounds.
‘That Danny Preston was told that I’d been seeing Jessie and he took offence. He can do what he likes but no one else can. The hooligan!’
‘And were you?’
‘No fear! She’s the last one I’d take out with him on the loose! All I did was fix a broken shelf and stay for a cup of tea. That’s all. And the shelf wasn’t finished and will probably fall down and hurt her and her expecting too,’ he wailed.
Willie promised to fix the shelf and explain to Danny that Jack was only helping.
‘Too late now,’ Jack moaned, holdin
g a wet cloth to his bruises.
A few days later, Cecily filled the back of the car with her sister’s clothes and personal items and drove back to the shop in a painful silence. She helped get Ada’s things out of the car and carry them up to the bedroom, then left her alone.
They ate, with Van telling Ada how pleased she was to have her back, but could she still go and see Mrs Spencer. Ada said she could go as often as she wished.
When Van was asleep, both sisters got on with their routine jobs ready for the following day in the shop. Cecily looked around the familiar room, and the shadowy shop beyond. ‘Here we are, sitting here, with Van asleep upstairs, angry about Danny, just as it’s always been.’
‘You doing the accounts, me planning our meals for tomorrow. It’s as though your near marriage to Gareth and my failed marriage to Phil have never happened.’
‘We’ve come full circle,’ Cecily said with a sigh, ‘and we’re back where we started.’
Chapter Sixteen
WHEN CECILY STEPPED out of the shop and saw Uncle Ben and Auntie Maggie approaching, she smiled and waited for them to reach her. Their expressions were frosty, disapproval written large on their faces. They were about to walk on but Cecily touched her uncle’s arm and asked, ‘Will you come in for a coffee? Ada and I are just having one, and there’s some cake too. Seed cake, your favourite, Uncle Ben.’
Maggie shook her head and Ben said, ‘Some other time. We’re in a bit of a hurry.’ Then, as though conscience had struck, he asked, ‘All right, are you?’
‘We’re fine. Van is settled after the fright she gave us and Ada and I are busy cleaning and decorating, as we don’t have time once the season starts.’
Ben nodded and they walked on. It was one of those questions to which no one wanted or expected an answer, Cecily thought sadly.
They had seen nothing of Dorothy or Rhonwen, or Johnny Fowler. The only family member who called was Van’s cousin, Marged, who called regularly to see the kittens and laugh at their antics. She wondered whether there was some way of getting the family back together. An excuse for a party, that was what was needed. She decided to talk to Ada about it.
The weeks after Christmas were quiet. There was no trade at the beach, everything was closed down and would remain so until Whitsun. Most of the local customers were plentifully stocked with the excesses from their Christmas stock-piling as well as being short of money from the overspending. So apart from the basic perishables, trade was slow.
Cecily and Ada thoroughly scrubbed every shelf and cupboard, then began to decorate the living room behind the shop, taking away the smoke-stained, dull colours of their mother’s time and brightening it with a fresh coat of paint and some subdued but less melancholy wallpaper. It wasn’t work they enjoyed and they would normally have employed a tradesman but they needed something to fill the lonely hours, the cold, dark hours that seemed endless.
Both were trying to forget their loneliness. Cecily thought often of Gareth and how different life would be if she had married him. They would have been happy, she believed that, and any thoughts of Danny would have been relegated to the distant, barely remembered past. She tried to stop herself thinking about Danny, who had caused so much unhappiness, their love even affecting her relationship with Van, who still hardly addressed a word to her. When her difficult daughter needed something, she would ask Ada, or Willie. Never her mother.
Ada still visited her mother-in-law each day and usually took food. She would ask about Phil, grateful for any crumbs of information, although there was very little. Each time she asked if she could visit, she was told no, Phil wouldn’t let her see him in that place. After the trial, when he knew how long he would be imprisoned, he told his mother that she and Ada could count the days with him but he wouldn’t see his wife until he was home. So far he hadn’t even written, he just sent the same message via his mother, that he hoped Ada would be there when he walked back into their home. Unless I’m told exactly when he’ll be released, I might not even be able to do that, Ada thought sadly. She wondered whether he knew his mother lived alone, having sent her away.
For Phil, every morning was like the first day of his imprisonment. The noises that went on all day and night were the worst. The banging, the cries, the shouts and wailing. Then there were the hours of soulless routine and worst of all, the realization that this would go on and on, for months. Looking up at the sky on the brief exercise minutes, aware at that time most of all, of the freedom he had lost, he felt a dread of going back inside. He wondered how he could cope and come out anything like the man Ada had married. He cried a lot.
When Ada walked up to the main road one morning to give some accounts to Waldo, she heard the unmistakable voice of Horse accompanied by the tinny voice of his wife. Today he was ruining ‘Ding Dong Merrily On High’. It didn’t have to be Christmas for Horse to sing one of his favourite carols, although the words had changed and the tune was a bit confusing for anyone trying to join in. His wife stood rattling coins in his hat and as usual they were having a conversation.
‘We’ve got the rent and-shillings-more.’
‘Some fish and chips for supper.’
‘Hide it then so we’ll get-some-more.’
‘Will we have bread and butter?’
‘Glad to see-e-e you’re back on for-or-or-m—’ Ada sang, joining in as she passed, making passers-by laugh, and more money rattled into the cap.
‘We have to try and do something for Horse and his wife,’ she said to Cecily when she got back to the shop.
‘We can try, but when I ask, they insist they don’t want more possessions than they can carry on their backs.’
‘That’s in case they don’t have the rent and have to do a moonlight flit!’ Ada said with a smile.
‘Still, we could offer them a couple of spare blankets. The ones they are using are a disgrace.’
‘Where’s Van? I thought I’d take her when I go to see Mother-in-law. She’s always pleased to see Van.’
‘Has she any news of Phil?’
‘He still won’t let me visit him. I write, of course, but he never replies, he just tells his mother he hopes I’ll be there when he comes back home.’
‘Not lucky in love, are we?’ Cecily said sadly. ‘I saw Danny yesterday. He and Jessie were quarrelling. Nothing changes.’
‘I hope your involvement has!’ Ada spoke sharply and Cecily stared at her. ‘Well, more gossip is something Van can’t cope with. How can she? She’s only a child. Your affair with Danny, and my Phil being arrested and found guilty of burglaries, it upset her so badly she ran away from us. You can’t risk that again.’
‘She’s hardly spoken to me since the night she ran off to Cardiff.’
‘I’ll see if she’ll come with me. She talks to Mother-in-law and cheers her no end.’
‘She’ll be in the stables with the kittens.’
Willie came back from a delivery and stood slightly embarrassed in front of them.
‘Baby Victor all right?’ Ada asked. ‘I’ll call and see Annette when I go to Mother-in-law at lunchtime.’
‘She’ll have some news for you.’ Willie looked unusually embarrassed.
‘Good news I hope?’
‘The best. We’re going to have a second child. It’s sooner than we’d hoped but we’re both delighted.’
Congratulations were offered and the sisters were cheered by the happy news. If it wasn’t their happiness, it was at least theirs to share.
When Ada went to find Van, she found her nursing the kittens and talking to Edwin.
‘Edwin! We didn’t know you were here. Do your parents know?’
‘Yes, Auntie Ada, they’re shopping at Uncle Waldo’s, then coming here to see you and take me home.’
‘But how did you get in without us seeing you?’ She was smiling. ‘Did you crawl past the counter? Come down the chimney? Hide in the animal food delivery?’
‘No, I knocked on the stable door and Van let me in!’
/> ‘I’m off to see Mrs Spencer. Would you like to come, Van? I’ll wait till Edwin leaves. I don’t want to miss his mam and dad.’
Leaving the kittens in their specially made bed, they went through to the shop. Cecily too was amused at Edwin’s appearance and explanations were repeated.
‘Make sure the stable door is locked, mind,’ she said. ‘Willie’s very fussy over that door.’
‘Me too,’ Van said, and she and Edwin began to laugh. Ada was curious about the laughter and the confidential glances but said nothing. She was relieved to see Van laughing, and children loved secrets.
Jack Simmons had reopened his shop and called each evening to see what stale fruit and vegetables he might get cheaply to offer his customers. He told the sisters that his fighting days were over. He wouldn’t get involved in anything that would make him angry enough to fight. ‘Mind you,’ he told them. ‘That has to mean avoiding Danny Preston. He gets fighting mad about nothing at all. I spoke to his wife, that’s all, and you saw the result of that!’ Muttering about the unfairness of life when friendly greetings lead to a good thumping, he went back to his shop where patient customers waited to see what they could buy to feed their families.
So many men were out of work and neighbours shared the caring of children while mothers worked when they could find a vacancy. They all looked forward to the start of the summer season. Now, in the winter months when jobs were fewer and regular wages little more than a dream, life was even more of a struggle for many families. On good weeks, tinned food was bought and hidden in readiness for a lean time. Allotments flourished where men were fit enough to work them and even there, the usual place reserved for men to chat without the interference of their wives, women added to the busy community, often with their youngest children. They would leave the men as school ended to meet the older children and get a meal while the men sat in the pub and made a drink last for as long as possible. Apart from a few leeks and some Brussels sprouts, there wasn’t much to harvest. The earth was turned and cleaned ready for the start of the season. Men browsed over seed catalogues and decided what to grow, each growing more than needed so they could exchange plants with friends later.
Goodbye to Dreams Page 27
