They made quick introductions. He had read her charts from prior psychiatrists. Immediately, he asked her to speak about her feelings concerning her rape and how she would feel now if she ever becomes involved sexually or emotionally with a man.
Her insides fluttered speaking about this, but she tried to remain calm with Dr. Carter. “I really don’t know how I feel right now. I don’t think about what happened to me in the past any more in details only as a moment that happened. What happened was so long ago and seems so far away. I don’t questions the whens or whys.”
Taking a deep breath she made the cutest twinge of her nose deep in thought. “I don’t involve myself with anyone right now, not because I’m afraid or anything. I mean, I had acquaintances, friends, and sorts, but living here I’m working all the time and I’ve been cooped up. My only contacts are my e-mails from my employees and associates on the web.”
He nodded. “How have your sexual relations been?”
“None. I-I haven’t um . . .” She cleared her throat feeling her heart rate increase. “I don’t have any.”
“Why is that?”
She began to rub the back of her neck nervously feeling a panic attack surfacing. “No reason. I-I mean they say I’m healthy physically, but I don’t engage because I haven’t been... attracted, you could say, to anyone.”
“What holds attraction for you?”
She closed her eyes and immediately started remembering the picture of Thaddeus Newman in the newspaper. “A strong face and personality. Self strength more than anything attracts me.”
“You are beautiful. I am surprised men have not approached you.”
“They do and have. I just don’t talk much except for business. I don’t know why, but just the idea of talking with them and engaging in personal conversations give me panic attacks.”
“Panic attacks?” he questioned scribbling on his pad.
Skye nodded. “Sever panic attacks. It’s like when I’m not conversing with them face to face on a personal level I’m fine. Some of my clients are men and I have no problem speaking business, but as soon as it gets personal, I can’t concentrate. My pulse races and I feel trapped.
“You have tried drugs?”
“Yes, but they only made me sleepy or annoyed. I hated feeling the way they made me feel and I hate taking drugs of any kind in general.”
“Even if they made the attacks lessen?”
“Even then. The idea of being dependent upon a chemical makes me feel weak and I don’t like feeling like that emotionally not when every day it feels like a struggle to get by naturally for me. I tried them all and I didn’t like that. I did have a dog and that helped a lot when I went out in public, but she died a year ago and I just never got another one because losing something felt awful and I didn’t want to lose another one. I have an easier time going out in public and having Shelby helped me make this decision to come to Detroit. If she had not been in my life, I wouldn’t have had the inner strength to move here by myself. I know once I get over her death, I’ll get another puppy, but right now, I have my work to keep me busy and a new house to finish up.”
“Have you tried hypnosis?”
She shook her head. “What on earth could that accomplish?”
“A lot of things. The sound of the male voice changes and for some reason when a tone of interest in you comes, your mind immediately begins to panic and sends signals to your body in a negative form.”
She shrugged. “I’m always open to suggestions.”
He stood up and pulled out a beautiful emerald on a long gold string. She smiled at the beauty of the penny size green gem.
“I want you to relax, Ms Patterson, then watch the gem.”
His voice was quite relaxed as the emerald moved slowly left to right in front of her beautiful lavender eyes.
Skye felt her body relaxing as she heeded his instructions. She felt light as a feather then total blackness surrounded her. Her whole body gave a sense of being, lifted and in the distant a strange ringing of phone fought to invade the tranquil darkness. Fading into the silence, there seemed to be a deep, calming voice speaking to her from far away, but as much as she strained she couldn’t make out what exactly the voice was saying. She decided to relax and listen to the voice wondering if she was experiencing a memory of her childhood and the voice was her father talking to her when she was a baby. The thought made her happy.
Since she was little she always carried the knowledge it had not been her father who had given her up, but maybe her mother, and he probably did not know she existed. In her heart, Skye always wished he would come for her one day. Her father would would have the most enchanting deep voice just like the one she could barely hear now.
When her senses returned she was still in the chair and Dr. Carter was leaning back in his chair tucking the emerald in his breast pocket. Blinking her eyes, adjusting to the light, she quickly checked herself. She felt and looked fine, yet her mental state had somehow been affected. She couldn’t explain exactly what was affected, but Skye didn’t feel like things had gone the way she had thought they would.
“How do you feel?” he asked in a triumphant tone.
“Calm. No different.” She didn’t want to express she felt as if someone had told her a secret, but she couldn’t remember what had been told to her.
A soft bell chimed behind her and the doctor stood up. “I do recommend you come next week, Ms Patterson. I’d like to see how you’ve done.”
“I would too.” She gathered her things. “I’ll make an appointment.”
Dr. Carter seemed quite pleased. Too pleased in her opinion, but she pushed the thought away thinking it was just her mind being apprehensive of everything and everyone.
Leaving out, she sat in her car, thoughtful and feeling strange. Looking at the time she didn’t feel an hour had passed since she had walked in his office.
She was free for the rest of the day and decided to go to a nearby strip mall near her home to get her shopping done. The experience was a tranquil one until she stepped outside the store.
Near the grocery store was a café. Being a nice August day, many people sat outside.
What drew her attention was the large built man. Shoulders!
The broad expansive shoulders from behind drew her notice. There were several other men sitting with him, but none of them seemed to catch her eyes except him. Even his deep laughter made her eardrums tingle.
Sitting at a table right behind him, she listened quietly. A waitress walked up to her and asked for her order. She told her club soda.
“Mr. Thaddeus Newman,” a waiter called quietly near the front of the café doors, holding a cordless phone.
The man she had been watching raised a strong hand with long clean fingers. The deep timbre of his voice gave her goose bumps. How could a man so large be so seductive and not know it?
He excused himself turning to the young man carrying the phone, which was right near her. She hurriedly stood up trying to turn anywhere except facing Thaddeus Newman terrified of her reaction if he looked at her with those sensual brown eyes she remembered in the newspaper. In her haste she bumped the waitress carrying her club soda, spilling the drink all over both them. Skye rushed away leaving one of her bags of groceries.
Sitting in the safety of her car, she almost passed out. Her panic attack was severe.
No, the hypnosis had not work! She would promptly tell Dr. Carter next week.
Closing her eyes to calm herself down, she thought about Shelby and how the settler use to know when she was having an attack and rub her arm or legs. Losing Shelby had been very upsetting because the settler had brought her a lot of comfort. The lost had also prompted her to find a new life away from Davenport and take an account in Detroit.
Shelby still offered comfort in her death. Just thinking about her dog made Skye relax and her breathing slowed down.
Her temporary calm was disturbed as someone tapped on her car window. She jumped, startled
by the large shadow.
Looking up she saw the black Adonis she had just been admiring. He was holding her grocery bag.
Lord no, she thought frantically dreading as she got out the car using the car door as a barrier between the two of them.
Thaddeus waited patiently as she reluctantly opened the door and stepped out. She seemed homely, frail, and quiet. He was used to awe and adoring looks from women, but she reacted as if she wanted no part of him or his interest. Purposely she didn’t make eye contact by putting on a pair of sunglasses, before she stood out the car. He handed her the bag she had forgotten, which she quickly took giving him a quiet thanks.
“You left your groceries at the table,” he explained wishing he could see her eyes through those dark glasses wondering what she was thinking and feeling. He was trying to make conversation just to assess her strange behavior. “I assured the waitress I would make sure you got them.”
“Thank you,” she said again hurriedly putting the bag in the cars back seat. She was screaming for her mind to stay calm and the only way to do this was not to make eye contact, but his proximity unnerved her and damn if he didn’t smell good. Lord, the man smelled delicious.
Though he’d gotten a message to meet his contact soon, this young lady somehow held his interest. If she would probably just make eye contact from behind those dark shades then... maybe he wouldn’t be so interested. “My name’s Thaddeus.” He held out his hand to shake.
She pretended not to see the outstretched hand and began to get back in the car. “H-Have a nice day, sir.” She closed the door, cranked the car and drove away as quickly as her old black Escort would allow her to go.
He sighed chalking this up as just one of those episodes in his life that just couldn’t be explained. She seemed interested in him from the way the waitress told him that the woman was staring at the back of his head, but didn’t want to go ahead with what she felt. Or he was feeling for the first time in his life rejection from a woman?
Either way he was not going to let the mysterious young woman bother him. He was on his way to meet Pooh, the contact, at the apartment downtown.
As he was about to step towards his car, but a yellow business card on the ground caught his attention. Patterson Transcription Service — for all your transcribing needs. ‘The Skye’s the limit!’ It was rather odd, but the card looked freshly dropped and he was positive the owner was the young woman.
Tucking the card directly in his wallet he decided to investigate her further on a later date if he remembered. The whole ordeal with her had been a rather humbling experience or maybe he was just losing his touch.
Chuckling to himself as if that was the silliest thought, Thaddeus decided to call Trish en route to downtown to start an immediate search into the transcription business. If the investigation turned up no lead to this mysterious “no interest” plain woman, he told himself he could assume it was just two ships passing in the night. Yet, funny how he wished he didn’t want her to just pass by.
* * *
When Skye finally pulled in her driveway, she screamed to herself. How could she be so stupid and act so silly? He was just a man.
Nothing more. Maybe it would have been a great business contact? No he was in real estate. Still networking never hurt any business, she knew this and she was not about to let her stupid little idiosyncrasies come between her business, which she so enjoyed.
* * *
Getting to the apartment, Thaddeus passed the keys of his black Jag to the valet and went into the complex. He told the attendant at the security desk that he was expecting company and to allow the guest to come through.
This was only his second time there since moving his things in last night. It felt weird calling something home, since he lived basically at a hotel for the past three months. He had moved out of his home about that time giving up his space to his sister, Heather, and her low-income bringing home husband.
Giving up his home had been a decision that he had come up with when he knew he could not take another moment of Heather badgering him about being single and setting him up every night for dinner with one of her money hungry girlfriends.
He was almost glad to move out, but he had never had time to find another home. Being an entrepreneur and single gave him no time for his personal life. He knew if he was married with a supportive wife, he would be able to accomplish a lot more networking with old friends and acquaintances, but he knew with the crowds he went around most women regarded him as their ticket to never working another day in their life and he didn’t want that.
He needed a woman in his life that would continue to do what she did if it made her happy or given the opportunity: find out what she loved to do and have a goal.
Caring genuinely only about his sister and mother, Thaddeus saw no need except one to bring a woman in his life at this time. With his business thriving and being extra business keeping the business where it was, Thaddeus really couldn’t even focus on his sexual needs. Plus he found dealing with women and their drama; the comfort of this hand was better.
Even Heather could be quite difficult in her temperament. She was spoiled and selfish since another father raised her and not their own. Their father left their mother when Heather was four, but Henry Newman was a nice caring man. An encouraging man that had raised Anne Pitman’s children like his own since he had none.
Anne and Henry lived in Florida now and his mother called him every once in a while to keep in touch. Heather stayed in Detroit because of her husband’s job at the new casino. She tried many times to get cash from her only brother, but Thaddeus tried not to let his sibling get to him. There was only so much one could do to help family, but he was not willing to go broke supporting grown people.
Sitting down on the comfortable, leather couch, he reached into his blazer pocket and pulled out the yellow card that the woman dropped when the she had gotten out the car. He’d never needed transcription service and why he wanted it all of a sudden was a mystery to him. Trisha took care of everything so why should he be so interested? Yet when he told Trisha about inquiring of a transcription service she seemed rather agreeable.
The buzzer sounded for him to answer the door. A skinny young man stood in the hallway with a cigarette hanging on his bottom lip. “I’m Pooh. You Tad?”
Pooh was a dark brown, skinny, pimply-faced, young man with a row of brown teeth at the bottom of his mouth. He couldn’t have been more than his middle twenties with a nasally voice and stood an average five foot nine in dire need of a bottle of lotion on his hands.
Thaddeus frowned at the Ebonic talking man, but knew this was his contact and would have to put up with the ignorant, young man. “Come in. Would you like something to drink?”
“Hell yeah! Oh man, this is fly!” Pooh began to look around uninvited throughout the apartment to do so.
Thaddeus said nothing, but watched him with his peripheral vision.
“Oh hell yeah!” Pooh shouted again when he entered the bedroom.
Thaddeus smiled because he had thought the same thing and he was positive Craig had something to do with the setup of the exceedingly expensive, seductive bedroom. The bed had to be a double king size from its enormity and the black furnishing added just slight masculine touches around the room. He brought the man a gin and tonic.
“This place will be the tops on my list for my next place. I didn’t know the River Place had it like this.”
There was no way in hell Pooh’s broke ass could afford something like the River Place that charged no less that over two thousand a month minimum, but Thaddeus kept that remark to himself.
“So what does Fats say?” Thaddeus asked.
“He says he wants to meet you. You gotta go to the Network Wednesday morning at seven. He’ll be there. That ain’t one of his places, but he’s got contacts that frequent there and help him get business done.”
“What about the girl?”
“I ain’t seen no one, because Fats don’t want to
do nothing until he meets wit’you.”
Thaddeus really didn’t want to do something like that and he really didn’t think he would have to meet the man when he had agreed to do all this. To meet the man himself seemed quite dangerous, but he didn’t think Fats would want to do business with him until he met him. “I’ll do it, but it’s got to be at nine. Can you do that?”
“Can you old timer? Too early for you, huh? Make sure you take your vitamins.” Pooh gulped down the drink with a snicker. “That’d be no problem.” He tapped him on his arm. “I gots your back, ‘kay? I told Fats ‘bout what you wanted. Fresh as a new day, and no sharing. You want top dollar. Right?”
Thaddeus nodded. “Top dollar,” he agreed.
Pooh handed him the glass. “Don’t worry, you’ll get what you want man. When I told Fats you were interested in a little fun every Saturday night, he lit up like a Christmas tree. I know he’s gonna want to do it. He just needs to see if I’m not fucking him over. So you bettah show up or dat’s my ass, man.”
Thaddeus only nodded again as he ushered Pooh out the door. The slang the young man spoke made his head hurt trying to decipher. He would put a good diction qualification if this language was on the street now, for the girl he wanted. What the hell had he gotten himself into?
Damn Craig! I’m going to beat your ass!
* * *
She sat up abruptly in bed. Something strange had just happened. The digital clock beside her bed read seven in the morning. She could tell that daylight savings time was coming in effect, because the sun seemed to just crest the horizon making longer nights, so why didn’t she feel rested? Going into the bathroom she splashed cold water on her face, then stared up in the mirror back at herself.
Dreams of Reality Page 3
