Dare to Surrender

by Carly Phillips

  I started to close the door, but he braced his arm, blocking my ability to shut him out. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

  I raised an eyebrow at that. “Of course I do. You’re a cheating dirtbag who didn’t know a good thing when he had it. Now, I suggest you leave before—”

  “Before what? Your new boyfriend throws me out? He’s not here, or do you really think I’m stupid enough to show up when he’s home?”

  “How would you know?”

  “Money buys information. But you wouldn’t know because you don’t have any.” He shook his head, making a tsking noise as he did so. “You’re too naïve for your own good. A man like Gabe will grow bored of you soon enough. God knows I did.”

  I didn’t care how many nerves he pricked, I refused to let him see how badly his words hurt me. I deliberately yawned, wanting to look bored.

  Unfortunately, Lance appeared to be enjoying himself. He leaned in closer. “I only kept you around out of pity, you know. That and you kept a nice, clean house and did what I asked with little fuss. Not to mention, you were frigid enough that you didn’t even know how often I took my pleasure elsewhere.”

  A red haze of fury erupted inside me, anger not just at how callously he treated me but how stupid I’d been for falling for him at all, believing his lies, and sticking around even once I knew better.

  “If I was frigid, it was only because you didn’t know what the hell you were doing, you lying, cheating son of a bitch.” I gripped the frame so hard I was surprised I didn’t break one of my fingers.

  “Don’t pull the righteous routine on me. How long was this going on behind my back?”

  I didn’t answer. He wouldn’t believe me anyway.

  “Gabriel Dare might be attracted to you. I was too, for a time. He’ll grow bored just like I did. I only came here to let you know you won’t be seeing one cent from me. You’ve taken enough.”

  Once again, he’d managed to find the best way to hurt me. My ears rang with all the insults he’d hurled, but I wouldn’t let him break me. “You stupid, arrogant ass. I’d rather live on the streets than take anything from you.”

  “That can be arranged.” A mean smile took hold, making me wonder how he’d kept this nasty part of himself hidden from me for so long.

  I turned my back on him, and he grabbed my shoulder.

  Touching me was the last straw. I spun around and kicked out, my bare foot landing in his groin.

  “You bitch.” He slapped me hard at the exact moment the elevator doors opened and Gabe stormed through in time to see Lance’s hand make contact with my cheek.

  Gabe’s gaze swung from Lance to me before he hauled Lance up by his shirt, shoving his back against the wall, his fist connecting with the other man’s jaw. “You don’t hit women. But you especially don’t hit this one,” Gabe bit out, still holding Lance against the wall.

  Lance glared but held his ground, not blinking.

  “I specifically told you to bring her things to my office. Show up here again and you won’t be able to walk out of here on your own.”

  “He almost didn’t,” I muttered. Between my kick and Gabe’s punch, Lance appeared dazed and stunned.

  And if I’d had on real shoes, that kick might have done some damage. As it was, I worked my aching jaw back and forth.

  Gabe released his hold, and Lance scrambled not to fall. He righted himself, straightening his shirt, throwing a glare Gabe’s way. “This isn’t over.”

  “If you mean you still owe her, you’re right.” Gabe stepped beside me, pulling me into him. I allowed the show of possession, knowing it would infuriate my ex.

  Lance’s scowl told me I was right. “She’s not worth the trouble I promise you I can—and will—rain down on you,” he said to Gabe, his words a clear threat.

  Gabe’s low snarl frightened even me. “That just shows how incredibly stupid, not to mention ignorant, you are.”

  I trembled and wrapped my arms around myself, silently admitting Lance was probably right. I wasn’t worth the hassle, something Gabe might have just figured out—but at least he presented a united front to my ex.

  Giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze, Gabe strode into the darkened hallway and hit the down button for the elevator before turning to Lance. “I suggest you leave before I call the police. You’re trespassing.”

  Lance wisely remained silent until he stepped into the open elevator. “Don’t be a fool over a piece of ass,” he called out to Gabe, timing his shout to coincide with the closing door.

  * * *

  Isabelle: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

  Gabe watched the doors shut completely before turning his focus to me. Gaze narrowed, his stare came to rest on my cheek.

  “I should have killed him when I had the chance.”

  He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the apartment, slamming the door shut behind me. Once in the kitchen, he stopped at the freezer and filled a Ziploc bag with ice.

  “Wait here.” He stormed off, returning with a white tee shirt. He wrapped the ice inside it and held the soft cotton against my face.

  I winced.

  “Sorry, but keep it there.” He led me to the sofa in the living room and settled in beside me. “Are you okay?” He brushed my wayward curls off my shoulder.

  I didn’t want to enjoy his gentle ministrations as much as I did, and the words I had to say lodged in my throat before I managed to force them out.

  “I’m leaving. You did a nice thing by letting me stay, and we got carried away… Let me just say thank you and leave it at that.” I placed the ice on the table.

  He frowned and immediately held it back to my face. “Why did you let that bastard upstairs?” he asked, ignoring my statement.

  Not that I was surprised. I decided to answer his questions first. “The doorman called. He said a man was downstairs with suitcases for me. I figured Lance would bring up my things, have his say, and go.”

  Gabe’s eyes narrowed, raw anger lacing his features. “The doorman said he had luggage for you?”

  I nodded.

  “And he lied,” Gabe said, his expression dark.

  I nodded again. “When I asked how Lance knew you wouldn’t be home, he mentioned something about money buying information.”

  Gabe shook his head in frustration. “I should have been one step ahead of him. It won’t happen again,” he promised.

  I knew that, because I wouldn’t be here. If Lance promised trouble, he meant it. Gabe didn’t need aggravation in his life brought on solely because of me. That was just another reason for me to leave. My self-respect and need for independence were two more. Seeing Lance again only reinforced why I’d left him in the first place. I’d let Gabe’s persuasive powers lure me into a sense of security that could only be another trap.

  I grasped his wrist, pulling the ice away from my frozen skin. “It’s cold.”

  He put the wrapped ice on the table. Bracing his hands on his knees, he appeared deep in thought.

  I gave him the time he seemed to need, didn’t push or speak.

  “I’m sorry,” he said at last.

  “What? Why?” I asked.

  “I apologized and you want to know why?”

  I nodded.

  “We’ve been over the whys. And you’re not going anywhere,” he said on a low rumble.

  Yes, I was.

  I needed to stand on my own two feet before I could succumb to any man ever again. Especially one who had such a potent effect on me and was as dominating as Gabe.

  But I knew better than to think he would let me walk out without using the exact type of persuasion I couldn’t resist, I thought. Which meant I’d have to play out the rest of the night, claim a headache, and go to sleep early.

  First thing in the morning, or as soon as I could manage, I was going back to my original plan.

  I was poised at yet another threshold in my life. Leaving Gabe was so much harder than walking out on Lance had been, but if I wanted G
abe to respect and not own me, I had no other choice.

  Chapter Ten

  Isabelle: Standing Strong, Being Me

  It wasn’t easy, and my heart hurt like hell, but when Gabe was called into work the next morning, I took the opportunity to escape. I left him a note, explaining the independence I needed in my life and why I had to leave him to find it.

  I immediately contacted my old friend, boss, and mentor, Lisa. Her office was still in the same place, and she’d cried with relief on hearing my voice. The first night, I found myself a guest in her apartment, catching up on each other’s lives. Lisa turned out to be a godsend and every inch a good friend. First, she offered to hire me as her assistant so I could slowly get back into design. I readily agreed. Although she’d obviously created the job as a favor, the first day back in the office, I took one look at her desk, her books, and the phone ringing off the hook, and I had little doubt she needed me.

  She also gave me a place to live. She’d been seeing the same man for the last two years and stayed over at his place more often than not, and so she insisted I move into her apartment. We agreed on a fair rent, which she insisted helped her out since she’d basically moved in with Tom but hadn’t wanted to give up her own place unless and until things were more permanent.

  I was grateful, not thrilled about feeling like I was taking, but I wasn’t stupid enough to begrudge the opportunity. I also knew Lisa. She didn’t lie, and she didn’t go easy. She was a tough boss, and I knew I’d work hard—and I did. I also went along on all her design appointments. She asked my advice, often used my vision, and before long, I grew comfortable asserting my opinions on color, fabric choice, and furniture placement. My school knowledge came back to me, and so did the two years of on-the-job training at Lisa’s hand.

  One morning not long after I’d left, a courier delivered an envelope for me at work. I signed, and the other man left. Inside, I discovered a check for the amount I’d had when I’d moved in with Lance, plus two years’ worth of interest. To say I was stunned was an understatement, and I felt sure Gabe had something to do with the return of my funds. Which meant Lance wouldn’t be pleased with him—or me. Despite me looking over my shoulder for a while after, Lance never surfaced in any way. And neither had Gabe. Even if he’d cared enough to push Lance into returning the money, he obviously wasn’t interested enough to see me himself.

  The first day, heck, even weeks after I’d left, I’d waited for him to come after me. A part of me had even hoped he would, not that I knew how I’d find the strength to resist him if he did. I didn’t have to worry. He’d let me go much easier than I’d anticipated. In fact, he’d let me go completely. Either he’d respected my decision or I’d hurt or angered him to the point that he no longer cared. That was the thought that tortured me, the possibility that I’d caused Gabe pain in order to find my sense of self. I think some part of me believed he’d be persistent even as he tried to understand. I didn’t think he’d let contact go. Then again, I’d left him. What else would a man with a healthy ego do?

  There were times I wondered if he’d thought I was testing him by leaving and was angry that I’d played that kind of game with him. The truth was, I didn’t know how to play games, not when it came to my heart. The fact remained, his silence reigned, as blatant and full of meaning as my parents’, I thought, and a knife-like pain hit my heart.

  Three months later, I still missed Gabe, all the while asking myself how I could miss a man I’d barely gotten to know. Yet he’d reached inside me with the things I craved most—understanding and true passion.

  If I was honest with myself, and during this time of self-discovery, I’d forced myself to be nothing but, I also missed the sexual domination he’d exerted over me. Where Lance’s control had been damaging and ego crushing, Gabe’s had built me up in subtle but important ways. Just a few days with him and I’d felt stronger. Strong enough to leave the easy life he’d offered me and go out on my own just to prove to myself that I could.

  This morning, as I settled into my desk and began checking messages, the familiar sound of Lisa coming through the doors had me looking up. She floated into the office. There was no other word to describe her arrival. Makeup perfect, blonde hair in symmetrical waves, she immediately came over to my desk, a huge smile on her face.

  “Nice evening?” I asked, knowing Tom had told her to dress up because he was taking her somewhere special.

  “Fabulous!” She flashed her hand at me, and I couldn’t help but notice the big, sparkly engagement ring on her finger.

  “Oh my God!” I squealed as only a friend could, jumped up, and hugged her tightly. “Congratulations!” I grabbed her hand for a better look. “Gorgeous.”

  “I know!”

  I laughed, truly happy for her. Lisa had just turned forty, and she’d been beginning to think Tom would never propose, but she loved him too much to leave or issue an ultimatum. Clearly her persistence had paid off.

  Instead of heading to her office and returning calls immediately as she usually did, Lisa perched herself on the corner of my desk. Never the kind of boss to define the workplace by hierarchy, she also didn’t care that I was a good decade younger than her.

  We’d clicked, therefore we were friends.

  I settled back into my chair. “I’m thrilled for you,” I told her.

  “Thank you.” She quietly assessed me with her vivid green eyes. “I’m glad you came back so I could share this with you. Not to mention the fact that you keep me organized.”

  I smiled at her. “I’m glad too.” I’d missed the work, and I’d missed her friendship.

  She leaned in close. “You know, I was fooled by Lance too.”

  I whipped my head up. She hadn’t brought up Lance since the first night of my return, respecting that boundary, if not many others. I think she realized I needed time to heal, and she’d given me that. Apparently, with her engagement and happiness assured, it was time to focus on me.

  My stomach churned, but I figured it was better to have the conversation and be done with it than to avoid it and let her push me until I revealed all.

  “Lance really fooled you too?” I asked, surprised that she hadn’t seen beyond the smooth exterior to the slime beneath either.

  She nodded. “I would have tried harder to talk you out of quitting it—make that abandoning me here—but you were so happy. You loved him, and you wanted security. I knew you well enough to know that, and Lance seemed the perfect man to provide it.”

  At least I knew we’d both seen the same thing in Lance—in the beginning.

  “I didn’t like that you gave up your independence and career to be with him, but I respected that not all women wanted the same things from life. Although I knew I’d miss your talent.”

  I smiled. “I really did want to be happy with him. I wanted to make the home I never had but…” I smacked the side of my head and forced a smile.

  “I admire you knowing what you wanted at such a young age. Nothing wrong with that. We aren’t all cut out for career only.” She glanced down at her ring as she spoke, making me think she’d done some reevaluating too.

  “I should have realized when I called and couldn’t reach you, and then when you didn’t call me back—”

  I held up one hand. “What?” To my knowledge, she had stopped calling me, cold turkey.

  “When you started making excuses for getting out of our weekly lunches and had Lance tell me—”

  “You called me?”

  She nodded. “I called your cell. The number was disconnected, so I called Lance, and he promised to relay the message. After I did that twice, and he explained you’d made new friends and were too busy…”

  Heat burned my cheeks. “God, I’m an idiot.” In the beginning, he’d always come up with something I just had to do on the days I’d had plans with Lisa, but I didn’t know he’d deliberately neglected to tell me she’d called. I should have realized. I shouldn’t have let the friendship go so easily, but Lan
ce had been there, encouraging me to move on.

  Lisa waved away my self-blame. “It never dawned on me that he wasn’t relaying the messages either. I just thought you were too busy with your new life and friends. And that was okay if you were happy, but I missed you.” Her lips thinned. “I should have known you better. So you see? We were both duped. Take heart in that.” Her kind gaze fell to mine.

  “Thank you.” Lisa was another person in my life I could count on, I thought, immediately realizing I was mentally including Gabe in that small group of two.

  A lump filled my throat as it always did when I thought about Gabe.

  “Anyway,” Lisa said, her voice a welcome break from being in my own head, “we’ll just find you your own man like Tom.”

  I hadn’t told Lisa about my short time with Gabe before showing up again in her life. The pain had been too fresh, and I wasn’t ready to admit I’d gone from one man’s shelter directly to another. I also wanted to keep him, what I felt for him, to myself.

  I shook my head at her. I didn’t want a man like Tom. I didn’t want just any man. I wanted the one I’d left behind.

  But I didn’t think going back was the right move, not with the months of silence between us. I’d taken some independent strides since leaving and had many steps still to come. I’d gotten what I needed—time alone to rebuild my life.

  Too bad that life often felt so empty.

  “We’ll see,” she said. “I’m just glad we had this talk.”

  “And I’m so happy for you.” I glanced at her ring and smiled.

  Lisa rose from her seat and held out her hand. “Messages,” she said, back to business.

  I blew out a breath, relieved to have some normalcy and no more talk bout my past. I handed her a stack of pink papers, mostly phone calls I’d retrieved from the answering machine.

  She flipped through them. “Okay, I’m on these. I leave for Chicago on Wednesday,” she reminded me.

  “I remember.” Lisa did a lot of travel for the initial consultation phase of a project and again during install.