He kisses my cheek, then backs away. “Next time, I’m stealing you away.”
Cooper exits the backstage entrance door, leaving me standing alone with a racing heartbeat and shaking legs.
I sigh, irritated at the heat that has pooled up inside of me at Cooper’s proximity. What is Cooper Goode doing to me? I’ve never experienced so many intense emotions shooting through my body before. He set off a fireworks display inside me with just one touch.
After the show, which went off without a hitch, I meet my friends and friends outside the auditorium’s front doors.
Dara and Sarah entrap me in a tight group hug. “Cam!” Dara exclaims. “That was amazing!”
“Thanks girls. Now, can you let go so I can breathe?”
“It really was, girl!” Sarah agrees, releasing me.
“I knew you had some choreography skills, but that? That was on another level. I forgot I was watching a high school musical.” Brandon shakes his head in disbelief.
I watch some of the stars of the musical around us, hugging their parents and being showered with praise from their mothers, fathers, grandparents, and other family members. Wistfully, I wish I had that. I wish my mom didn’t have to work so hard. I wish, for the umpteenth time that she could be at one of my performances. I try to put it out of my head.
My friends’ praise washes through me and makes me feel warm and tingly all over. Luka, Dara, Sarah, and Brandon are a good substitute for parents, showering me with compliments.
Tonight really was a success. I can’t believe it.
“So are you guys headed home now?” I ask them.
“Actually,” Luka reminds me. “Aren’t you supposed to come out with me for a little while?”
I smile at him. “What did you have in mind?”
“Do you guys want to go grab dinner? I’m starving,” Dara asks.
Brandon looks at Luka and me.
“I’m down for that,” I answer. “Luka?”
“Sure,” he says. “El Nino?”
We agree to meet at my favorite Mexican restaurant, and Luka leads me out of the school to his SUV.
As he walks me around to the passenger side door, he reaches over to open it. Instead of doing so though, he snakes both arms up on either side of me and presses his palms against the car. I am pinned, facing Luka’s strong, tall frame.
He leans in, sweet breath tickling my face. “You’re amazing,” he says.
I meet his gaze, and wonder where the sweet, gentlemanly Luka has gone. “Oh?”
“Yeah,” he answers “I’m so proud of you.” His voice is low, gravelly. “The show was off the chain.” He leans down and kisses me, for the second time tonight. Hungrier, longer this time. As the kiss goes on, I lose myself in it, letting my hands loosely explore his broad shoulders, his strong back muscles. They ripple under his shirt, and it makes me shiver with pleasure.
I hadn’t expected this bad-boy side of Luka to emerge, and I like it more than I ever thought I would. I pull him closer, and he groans softly under my lips. I smile to myself.
We arrive late to dinner.
Chapter 8
The Bonfire
Cooper
I can say I’m disappointed I didn’t get to give Camryn the gift I’d created for her after the show, but I’d be lying. I’m not just disappointed; I am beyond frustrated. How am I supposed to get closer to her if she doesn’t give me opportunities to impress her? Now I’ll have to wait until the next time I got her alone, and who knows when that will be?
The beach bonfire is coming up, and I decide to ask her to go with me. I don’t have anything to lose by asking her. Judging by the fact that she is walking around school on Luka’s arm and cozying up to him in the cafeteria every day, it’s long shot.
I’ll still ask.
I close my locker and turn to walk toward my math class.
“What’s up, man?” says a guy with spiky blonde hair and three metal studs in his left ear.
“Hey, Hunter,” I answer. “What’s good?”
“Nothing, dude,” he says. “Just wanted to make sure you were coming to practice this afternoon.
“Yeah, I planned on it. We working on the new stuff?”
“That’s the plan,” he says cheerfully. “I gotta run. See you at my house later.”
I watch Hunter saunter off, then shake my head and head to my class.
Entering my classroom just after the bell rings, I slip into my seat in the back of the room and slouch low.
“Thank you, Mr. Goode, for deciding to grace us with your presence,” Mrs. Hiller intones. “Homework out, everyone.”
Surprising as it probably is to Mrs. Hiller, I had actually done my homework. I complete my homework every night, yet it always seems to surprise my teachers when I get good grades. I guess naturally smart isn’t something teachers want to see; they’d rather see kids killing themselves to study for unexpected quizzes and irrelevant tests.
I never have to study. If I did, I would fail out of school because I’m not that type of kid.
Needless to say, my teachers aren’t fans of the kid who sits in the back of the room, answering nothing, and still acing their exams.
When the last bell finally rings, I zip out of my classroom and stop at my locker again. I grab my helmet and my keys, and slip my bag across my shoulders. When I turn around, ready to get out of this dungeon, I almost slam into the girl standing directly behind my locker.
I jump out of the way so I don’t bowl her over; she barely flinches. “Yeah?” I study the girl, waiting for her to tell me what she wants.
“Hey, Cooper,” she says brightly, swinging her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Um, I was just wondering, you know, a couple of us were talking, and we’re going swimming at my house tonight. Do you want to come?”
I don’t know this girl from Eve. But obviously she’s in one of my classes…oh, that’s right. She’s in my History class.
“No, thanks though,” I answer her. I try to smile, be friendly, and it isn’t easy. “I’ve got stuff to do.”
“Oh, okay,” she says. Disappointment clouds her features. “Maybe next time.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Later, um…” Shit. I’m caught not remembering her name.
“Daphne,” she answers. “My name is Daphne.”
“Right. See you later, Daphne.”
I take off down the hall, shaking my head.
Camryn
The success of “Mamma Mia” is forgotten around school a few weeks afterward, and a different event is on everyone’s mind.
The bonfire.
An Oceanview tradition, the bonfire is a fall-themed party on the beach for juniors and seniors. Because of where we live, the weather is sometimes warm enough this time of year for beachwear. This year, the weather is already turning cool, with chilly breezes gently plucking the colored foliage from the trees.
No one will be modeling bikinis at this year’s bonfire. The thought makes me smile, thinking about how disappointed Cooper will be.
Flyers for the event decorate the school, and it’s all anyone talks about.
As I walk up the hallway toward my locker before first period, I see that Cooper is waiting to greet me. My heart pounds harder the closer I get to him.
I still don’t understand this alien reaction my body experiences when he’s near. My senses just take over. It’s like my body is running on autopilot, and my brain is just along for the ride.
I keep thinking that the more time I spend with Luka, these bodily reactions to Cooper will just melt away. It hasn’t happened.
“Hey,” I greet him. “Homework question?”
“No,” he answers. “I just needed to see your beautiful face first thing. I woke up with you on my mind.”
A nervous titter escapes me, even though the rush of fluttering in my stomach threatens to send me airborne.
“You always see my face first thing,” I point out. “We’re in first period together.”
�
�I know,” he answers. “But today is different.” He shrugs.
“Anyway, what’s the deal with this bonfire? You mentioned it before, but I wasn’t expecting all this hype. This is worse than prom!”
I nod, examining the bonfire poster tacked up next to my locker. “Us beach bums love our bonfires.”
“Well,” he says. “Does everyone, like, take a date? Or what?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah, pretty much. Everyone who has someone to take. I didn’t go last year. Because, sadly, Cooper, I’m somewhat of a loner.” I tap his nose with an index finger and turn back toward my locker.
His lustrous green eyes bored into mine when he turns me back around with his hand on my elbow. “And what about this year, Cam?”
When my name tumbles out of Cooper Goode’s mouth like that, I can’t be responsible for the actions I take.
“What about me?” I squeak.
“Has Luka already beat me to it? I’m guessing you know you’re the only girl I want to go to this thing with.” He spits Luka’s name like an accusation. His head tilts to the side, and he shifts his book bag higher onto his shoulder.
The bell rings, signaling the start of first period. “Let’s go to class,” I suggest.
“Let’s be late,” he replies. “I’d like to hear your answer. Will you go to the bonfire with me?”
My heartbeat leaps ahead of my thoughts, and I don’t know how to answer him. The thought of the look on Luka’s face if I tell him I’m attending the bonfire with someone else…
Cooper’s eyes search my face, and they harden slightly when he sees my hesitation. Seeing that hardness directed at me almost crushes me.
“It’s cool, Cam,” he says. “I think I thought there was something between us that maybe wasn’t actually there. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He turns and walks away.
I watch him go. Helplessness and confusion fight to the surface inside of me, and I slowly follow him to our first period.
***
When I arrive at the cafeteria later that day for lunch, I walk over to the table, grab my best friend, and pull her forcefully back out into the commons with me.
“Sit,” I order.
Dara sits.
“What is it?” she looks concerned. “Are you okay?”
“Physically, yes” I reply. “But I haven’t been able to talk to you about this, Dara, because you’ve been too opinionated. I need you to be my best friend, and just listen.”
“Of course, Cam,” Dara is instantly all ears. “Is this about Luka? And Cooper?”
“What was your first clue?”
“Cam, I’ve known you since we were six. I could see you struggling with something. I just figured you were attracted to Cooper, but knew you wanted to be with Luka. Is that not the case?”
I sigh, feeling heavy in my chest. “I don’t know, Dara!”
Something behind me catches Dara’s attention. Before I could turn, she says, “Ugh. P.B.G.C.’s. Six o’clock.”
A cackle of laughter meets my ears and I turn.
Alicia’s almond-shaped cat eyes meet mine. “Who’s taking you to the bonfire, Miss Camryn?” Her lip curls with distaste, like she has just eaten something truly revolting.
Courtney tosses her long weaved locks over her shoulder. “You may have Luka snowed, Camryn, but don’t think you’ve fooled the rest of us. There’s nothing special about you, so don’t start thinking there is.”
The clique turns and saunters away, high heels tapping against the floor like a chorus of crickets in the forest.
If I had the ability, my face would have been a deep scarlet.
“I literally hate them,” I tell Dara. “Like…a lot.” I feign looking around on the ground beneath my feet. “Do you have a brick? I want to throw it at Alicia’s car.”
“Me too,” she replies. “The hate part, not the brick part. No, actually, the brick par too. They can’t stand it that Luka wants you. I’m sure they all thought they had a chance with him at some point. You’ve now made that impossible!”
Her satisfied smile reminds me of what I want to talk to her about.
“Dara,” I say quietly. “I don’t actually know if I even want to be with Luka. Cooper is inside my head, under my skin. We’ve hung out once and I can’t stop thinking about him. I know he feels the same, because he asked me to the bonfire today. I know Luka assumes we’re going together and I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t wan to disappoint anyone.” My eyes studied the commons floor.
Dara stands up and touches my shoulder gently. “Who do you think you’ll be disappointing if you follow your heart?”
“Who won’t I be disappointing? Luka, for one. You, because you love it that our boyfriends are best friends. Maybe even my mom. She told me that Luka and I looked good together.”
“Well, she was wrong about that. You look spectacular together, not just good. But Cam! All of the people you just named love you, and want you to be happy. If the person that makes you the happiest isn’t Luka…then so be it. You deserve absolute bliss. Nothing less.”
I nod. We walk, arm in arm, into the cafeteria, where Brandon and Lula are waiting.
When we sit down, Luka sweeps his arm across the back of my chair. “Everything okay?”
I smile at him, forcing the shame and fear from my expression. “I’m fine.”
“Good. Let’s talk about this bonfire. It’s this weekend, you know. What time should I pick you up?”
“Actually, I have to drive myself,” I blurt. I glance at Dara, and she nods encouragingly.
But Luka’s brow furrows. “By yourself? Why? I don’t mind driving you, Cam.”
I place my hand on his arm. “Can we take a walk?”
I take his hand and lead him back out into the commons and out the glass door leading to the courtyard.
“Luka,” I begin. “I have really loved spending time with you this last month.”
Luka puts his hands up behind his hand, interlocking his fingers. Agitation mars his face. “Why am I sensing I’m not going to like what comes next?” His eyes search mine.
“I just need some time, Luka. I don’t want to move too fast with you. I’m not sure I’m ready for all of this.”
“All of what, exactly? A relationship? Or just a relationship with me?”
I look at him, pained. “Hurting you is the last thing I want to do right now, Luka. And I really do want to keep spending time with you, keep getting to know you better. But if you aren’t interested in being my friend—“
He grabs one of my hands and brings it to his lips. “Cam. I’m not going to pretend I only want to be your friend. I want so much more than that with you. But if you need time, I’m willing to give it to you. I don’t have a choice. But tell me one thing.”
“What?”
“During this time you’re taking…will you be spending some of it with another guy? I need to know, Cam. If I’m competing for your heart, I need to know upfront.”
Competing for my heart? Is he? That sounds so dramatic. I’m not even sure if my heart is worth a competition. I’m not this girl that two guys fight over. I’m certain I don’t even have a whole heart to give. There’s a daddy out there who owns part of mine, and took it with him when he left me without a second look.
Anyway, Cooper has never seemed interested in fighting.
“I don’t know what my heart wants,” I answer Luka honestly. “That’s all I can say.”
He brings my hand to his lips one more time. “Then I’ll have to teach you. I will be at the bonfire Friday night, Cam. Even if you drive over alone, come find me. We can talk, or dance, or just hang out. But please come and find me.”
Luka walks away, and then pauses, looking back over his shoulder. “I’m what your heart wants.”
I walk over and kiss him, quick and light. “Thank you for understanding. I feel like I don’t deserve any of it.”
“You deserve all of it. And more.”
***
I p
ull up to the beach access parking lot in my car, alone. I rest my head back on the seat and sigh. This is how I wanted it. I wanted to come to this bonfire by myself so that I could have a clear head. But now I’m just lonely. I don’t even have Dara, because she’s Brandon’s date.
As I trudge through the sand toward the stretch of beach that has been set up for Oceanview’s bonfire, the pyre lights the night sky with a brilliant orange glow. My thoughts churn in my mind, muddying my vision. What would the night hold?
The laughter and music pumping through the party around the bonfire sends a numbing agent through my bones. As I look around, I discover I’m not sure who I am looking for. I see Dara standing with some of the girls from the dance team and head in their direction.
As I walk, Dara turns toward me and waves. When she moves to the side, I see Brandon standing adjacent to her. He’s leaning over to talk to one of his friends from the team. My heart flip-flops. Where there is Brandon, there is bound to be Luka.
I need more time before I see him. I chang my trajectory, walking toward a group of kids from the theater department instead. As I stand drinking sunset-colored punch and talking to my friends, the band walks onstage and starts to warm up. I head back over to the punch bowl tin order o refill my cup.
I stand there, poring over the snack table, when the lonely strum of an acoustic guitar meets my ears. The band creeps in behind the guitar, creating a haunting melody. The lyrics that accompany the tune are just as poignant, and I drop the chip I’m holding back onto my plate.
I’m listening, unable to help myself.
I’m feeling so confused
I never even knew you existed
Feeling lost without you
Baby, they broke the mold when you were created
Loving you, not even knowing you
Sounds crazy
But baby it’s so true
I can’t hold this feeling in anymore…
Our moment is here, now
Our moment is here, now
Nowhere to go from here but up
Together they can’t touch us,
Now
That beautiful voice traveling on the salty airwaves above me is Cooper’s. His voice is made of velvet, edged with grit and lace and pure, raw emotion.
Color Blind Page 7
