by Meg Maxwell
This is your life, Marissa Fuller, she thought, flipping the pages, smiling, a tear coming, her heart comforted. This was your life. But you’ll always have your memories and Mike will always live on in your daughters.
She was saying goodbye, she realized. To who she used to be. And she was ready to be this new person. Not a woman in transition. But a new Marissa.
Autry had helped her become that new person. And for that, she would love him forever. Even though she’d have to do it from thousands of miles away.
* * *
“Mr. Autry is so lucky,” Kiera said as Marissa put two “face” pancakes on each girl’s plate. She’d made eyes with blueberries and a smiling mouth with cut-up strawberries.
Marissa eyed the clock on the wall. It was 8:30 a.m. She was exhausted from not sleeping and from getting up so early, but she felt like the new person she’d claimed to be. Today was the first day of the rest of her life. She wasn’t going to mope about Autry. She was going to be this new Marissa, one who’d loved and lost—twice—but who relished memories and learned from her mistakes and kept putting one foot in front of the other. Her heart was open. That was the key. She was ready to accept new people. New experiences. New ideas. That was the kind of mother she wanted to be for her girls. Someone who took risks—well, the right risks. Falling for Autry had been the right risk. Yes, she was losing him today. But he’d been worth it. Everything about these three weeks had been worth it.
“Why is Mr. Autry lucky?” Kaylee asked, taking a strip of bacon from the platter in the center of the table.
Abby poured maple syrup on her pancakes. “Yeah, why?”
“Because he’s gonna live where the little cute rats are the cooks,” Kiera said. “Paris is where Remy lives, right? I would love if a funny rat in a chef hat made my pancakes.”
“What?” Marissa asked. Rats? Working in restaurants? And who was Remy?
Thank heavens her parents had gone out to breakfast with their friends. Her mother did not like rats. And Ralph would get the broom out at the very mention.
Abby laughed. “We woke up kinda early this morning and I was saying I was gonna miss Autry and suggested we watch the movie Ratatouille because it takes place in Paris—where Autry is going.”
Marissa raised an eyebrow. “Ratatouille? Isn’t that a vegetable stew?”
Kiera laughed. “Mommy! The rat is the cook who makes stew. And other yummy stuff.”
Abby nodded. “Mom, don’t you remember the movie? Remy’s the rat who wanted to be a real chef, so he started helping out the restaurant worker guy who couldn’t cook? The guy got all the credit, but Remy was happy just cooking.”
Marissa shivered. “I vaguely remember. Rats, even cartoon rats, freak me out a little. I don’t think I’d want a rat making my dinner.”
“But Remy was so cute!” Kaylee said.
Kiera nodded. “I wish I could have a pet rat.”
Oh no. Not happening.
“I’ll bet the most amazing things happen in Paris,” Abby said, her eyes all dreamy. “Thinking about Paris helps me not think about Lyle. I still don’t know how he could leave 2LOVEU. But Autry was right. Change is part of life.”
Change was definitely a part of life, Marissa thought, Autry’s handsome face coming to mind. She wondered what he was doing. Packing, probably. Having his last breakfast in Rust Creek Falls with his brothers and their wives.
“We’ve been through lots of changes,” Kiera said, popping a blueberry in her mouth.
Kaylee looked at her big sisters. “I have a change. I want to change to eating bacon now.”
Abby laughed and passed her little sister a strip of bacon.
“Maybe we could learn French,” Abby said. “Mom, I was studying Spanish so I could learn 2LOVEU songs in two languages, but now I want to switch to French. I wonder how you say hello in French.”
“I think it’s bonjour,” Marissa said, slugging down her coffee. “I think it translates to good day.” The last thing she wanted to talk about was Paris. And Autry. But the girls needed to and so she would.
“How do you say goodbye?” Kiera asked.
“I’m pretty sure it’s adieu or au revoir,” Marissa said, her appetite waning.
“We had to say adieu to Autry,” Kiera said. “I miss him already. I wish he could have breakfast with us.” She frowned and put down her fork.
“Me, too,” Kaylee said. “He’s nice. I love my new backpack.”
“Me, three,” Abby said. “It doesn’t feel right not to say goodbye the day he’s leaving.”
Three girls turned their gazes on Marissa.
Au revoir. Adieu. Goodbye. They’d said their goodbyes yesterday.
And today was the first day of the rest of her life. Wasn’t that what she’d said for the past two hours? She was a new person thanks to Autry, and she would start being that new person by letting him go. Because she didn’t have a choice.
Right. She had no choice. He was leaving. But...
But she could tell the man how she felt about him. You told him you weren’t ready for a relationship. But you’re ready for him. Autry Jones. The man you love.
Tell him. Just tell him. He’ll go to Paris and you’ll be here, but at least you’ll have said it. The new Marissa said what was on her mind. And in her heart. She didn’t hide her feelings. She didn’t pretend she had no feelings.
As the girls realized she wasn’t answering, they went back to eating their breakfast, if a little more glumly than a minute ago.
Phone in hand, she went into the living room for a little privacy. She tried Autry’s room at Maverick Manor, but was told he’d checked out a half hour ago.
No. No, no, no. She’d missed him? She tried his cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail.
He wasn’t leaving Rust Creek Falls without knowing how she felt. That she loved him. That he’d opened her eyes, opened her heart. She loved him and she’d scream it from the rooftop of the Ace in the Hole if she had to.
So do it. Go scream it.
An idea started forming in her head. Could she? Would she?
“Girls, put on your sneakers.”
“Why? Where are we going?”
No, they weren’t headed for the Ace in the Hole so she could climb up onto the roof and shout “I love Autry Jones!” for all the town to hear. Though she was so crazy in love she just might, if it came to that.
“Where are we going?” she repeated. “To the airport, even though it’s a very long drive. We have a man to say goodbye to.” The airport was three hours away, but it would be worth every mile.
“Yay!” Abby shouted. “Oh, Mom, I knew yesterday couldn’t have been our final chance to say goodbye. Not when we have this morning.”
What was that famous movie line? From Casablanca. “We’ll always have Paris.” She and Autry wouldn’t, but yes, they’d have this morning. In the airport. Though by the time they got there, it would be afternoon. Closer and closer to his six-thirty departure.
Kiera and Kaylee raced to the hall closet and stuffed their feet into their sneakers, Kaylee wearing her brand-new light-up ones, her gift from Autry.
Marissa glanced in the hall mirror. No makeup. Her hair all messy. She smoothed it best she could and yanked down her long T-shirt over her black leggings. Well, if this was how she was going to look to tell Autry she loved him, so be it. This was who she was. A woman in flip-flops. Some things really would never change.
“Let’s go, girls!”
Marissa pulled open the door.
Autry was standing there, his hand raised to knock.
She gasped. She looked at him, six feet plus of gorgeous, sexy Autry, a millionaire with a heart she’d never imagined such a man could have. Autry would give you the shirt off his back, even if he was penniless and ha
d nothing. She knew that. Autry would soothe an upset child with the right words—not platitudes or what he thought Marissa might want to hear him say, but what a nine-year-old girl needed to know. Autry bought school supplies and pencil-cap erasers in animal shapes. And he made delicious spaghetti and meatballs. He’d even sat through a handful of animated movies. He was pure gold.
He stared at her, then smiled at the three little Fullers crowded behind her. “I have something to say to you, Marissa.”
She lifted her chin. “I have something to say to you.”
Question was, should she go first and risk sounding like a fool? He should go first. But what if he said he’d only come to say a final goodbye, that she was right that there was no future? Then she’d feel stupid for telling him she loved him.
She should go first. She should say how she felt, no matter what. That was what she would teach her girls. To speak their truth. To risk. To put themselves out there.
“You first,” he said.
Oh God.
* * *
Autry stood on the porch, waiting to hear what Marissa had to say. Goodbye, he figured. And he wasn’t ready to hear it. His plane wasn’t leaving for hours. He had time to prolong his agony. But at least he’d be in agony while looking at Marissa’s beautiful face.
“But first,” he said, “where were you all going in such a hurry?” He smiled at three-year-old Kaylee, who was still in her pajamas.
“Look, Mr. Autry,” Kaylee said and she stomped the porch, her sneakers lighting up. “Thank you for my sneakers. Thank you for being so nice.”
Autry knelt down. “Thank you for your being such a great three-year-old.” He pulled her into a hug.
Kiera pushed past her mom’s leg. “Thanks for my new backpack,” she said, tears glistening. “And my monkey key ring.”
“You’re very welcome, Kiera.” He wrapped her in a hug.
Abby stepped forward. “I’m not going to cry. I made myself a promise, so that I wouldn’t ruin the goodbye by being a blubbering mess.”
Autry laughed. “You can cry. I’m going to cry.”
“You cry?” Kaylee asked. “But you’re a grown-up.”
“Well, sometimes grown-ups cry when they get really sad. And leaving you guys, well, that makes me really sad.”
“But you have to,” Abby said. “Because you’re going to Paris.”
He nodded. “I am going to Paris. In just several hours. But where were you guys headed just now?” He realized he’d never gotten an answer to that question.
Marissa crossed her arms over her chest. In a protective gesture? “To find you.”
“Why?”
She glanced at her daughters, who were all staring at her. Well, go ahead. Say it. Speak your truth.
“Because I love you, Autry Jones. And I couldn’t let you go without telling you.”
She felt her daughters staring at her. Out of the corner of her eye she could see their mouths hanging open, then glee light their faces.
“You love me?” he asked.
“I love you,” she said. “I didn’t think I had any room left in my heart. But I was wrong.”
Kaylee stepped forward. “I love Autry, too. He’s really nice. He makes really good steaks. And I love my new backpack.”
Kiera said, “I love you, Mr. Autry, because you’re really good at charades.”
“I guess it’s my turn to tell Autry that I love him and say why,” Abby said. “But I’m keeping it my own special secret. Is that okay?”
Autry knelt in front of Abby. “Of course it’s okay. But one of the reasons I came here this morning was to tell you that you were right.”
Abby tilted her head. “Me? Right about what?”
“Remember when you sang me your own version of ‘Only You’?”
“Of course,” Abby said, glancing at him with half shyness, half anticipation.
“You were right that only I can be your new dad,” Autry said.
Four gasps filled the air.
“And your dad, and your dad,” he said to Kaylee and Kiera. He stood up and looked at Marissa, taking her hand. “I love you, too, Marissa. I love you with everything I am. I love all of you.”
“Oh, Autry,” Marissa said, and launched herself into his arms.
Their audience cheered and clapped.
“But you’re leaving tonight! You’re going to Paris.”
“Not if I’m going alone,” he said. “Not without the four Fullers who’ve become my family.”
She stared at him. “What? What do you mean?”
Autry held her gaze and reached out a hand to touch her beautiful face. “Come with me. All of you. Come to Paris.”
“What?” she said again, her head spinning.
“This morning I ran into Travis Dalton and Brenna O’Reilly. I hadn’t had a chance to meet them before, so it was nice that I got to before I left. Travis said something that really got to me.”
“Oh my God, you met Travis!” Abby squealed. “I knew him before he was famous, but you met him after. How cool is that?”
Marissa ruffled Abby’s hair with a smile, then turned to Autry. “What did Travis say?”
“He said, ‘If you want this woman, then go get her. If you can walk away, then do that. That’s how you’ll know.’”
“Huh,” Marissa said with a grin. “I wouldn’t have taken Travis for a love guru, but I guess Brenna has changed him.”
“I can’t walk away from you, Marissa. Or from your daughters. I love you. But yes, I’m going to Paris for a year, maybe longer. I want you and the girls to come with me. Not today, of course—I’m assuming none of you have passports and you’ll need to apply and wait for them to arrive. Then we’ll need to look into schools and a bigger home than the one I’m renting for the year. Oh, and of course the Raffertys are welcome to come, if they’d like.”
Marissa looked slightly dazed and he smiled. “But...but we don’t speak French,” she stammered.
“We do!” Abby said. “We know bonjour and adieu and the other word for goodbye!”
“Au revoir,” Autry said. “Don’t make me say it for real.”
“We want Paris! We want Paris!” all three girls started chanting.
He watched Marissa’s face. He could see the emotions racing across. Excitement. Fear. Hope. And the word but. He saw the word but.
“I need to think,” she said. “Excuse me for a moment. Girls, will you stay out here with Mr. Autry?”
His heart plummeted. She was going inside to have the space to think, without the girls’ hopeful faces. Without his hopeful face.
She was going to come out and tell him no.
* * *
Marissa closed the door behind her, her eyes wide like saucers, her heart beating like mad.
Was she going to uproot her daughters? Herself? Change her entire life to move to Paris?
Yes, dammit. She was. Hadn’t she said that today was the first day of the rest of her life? Hell yeah, she had.
She was doing this. Small-town gal Marissa Fuller was moving to Paris with her daughters to be with the man she loved. The father they all loved. And they were going to be a family.
Except... Wait.
She frowned, biting her lip. He hadn’t said anything about marriage.
She wasn’t uprooting her children and moving to a foreign country without a ring on her finger, that was for sure. No commitment, no France.
Her chin lifted, she opened the door and stepped back outside. Her daughters were staring at her. Abby was biting her lips so hard Marissa was afraid she might draw blood, and the girl’s hands were in prayer formation.
Autry smiled—that captivating smile that always made her knees weak. “It’s four against one, Marissa. You’re outnum
bered and overruled.”
“Oh, wow,” Abby said, jumping up and down. “I just realized I’ll get to be a bridesmaid at my own mother’s wedding!”
Marissa felt her cheeks burn. Well, at least the subject had come up! “Honey, Autry didn’t say anything about us getting married. He just invited us to move to Paris with him.”
And told her daughters he was their new father. He wouldn’t have said that unless—
“I didn’t say anything about marriage?” Autry asked. “Well, of course I didn’t. How could I say anything about marriage without getting down on one knee?” He did just that and took a small velvet box out of his pocket.
Marissa gasped for the tenth time that morning. So did the girls.
“Marissa Fuller, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” he asked, opening the box to reveal a gleaming, twinkling diamond.
“That is some rock!” Abby shrieked.
Marissa’s eyes widened. A certain little girl was growing up way too fast. Either Abby was listening in on Grandma’s viewing of her guilty-pleasure TV show, Real Housewives, or the gals at Bee’s Beauty Parlor forgot themselves when little ears were around. She smiled at Autry.
Then it hit her. The man had just proposed to her!
“Oh, Autry,” she said, unable to say anything else, unable to speak. The air had whooshed out of her body. She took a breath and looked at the man she loved so much. “Yes!” she shouted. “Yes, yes, yes! I will marry you!”
Autry stood up and slid the beautiful diamond ring on her finger.
She was so overwhelmed for a moment that she covered her mouth with her hand, then turned to her daughters. “Girls, we’re moving to Paris!”
“Today?” Kiera asked, clapping.
“Not today,” Marissa explained. “When you go to another country, you have to have something called a passport. So we have to get those and make arrangements. But in about a month, we’ll be joining Autry in Paris.”
“Yay!” Abby shrieked. “This is more exciting than if Lyle rejoined 2LOVEU! Oh, and you two can get married at the Eiffel Tower!”
