Contents
Title Page
Copyright
January 17th
Prologue
Fired
January 18th
Jalopy Tavern
Cecil
Going Home
The Lavender Bay
Juniper's Walk
Cecil's Journey
Head Over Heels
The Strength of an Ancient
Lavender and Starlight
Eyes Up
All Yours
Epilogue
Book 2 - Coming Soon!
Gone With An Ancient
Copyright © 2016 Sarah R. Silas
Cover design by Melody Simmons
All rights reserved.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
No part of this book may be reproduced without express permission of the author.
January 17th
Dear Diary,
The fact of the matter is that I’m just not sure what I’m doing with my life. It’s not clear what’s going on, and it’s not clear where my future is going to go. My love live is up in the air, and the entire world seems to be just…I don’t know.
Look. Last week marked the one year anniversary of Dad’s death. Two years since I moved back home to take care of him, and just…wait. Wait until the end of it all. Wait until, one morning I would wake up and he…wouldn’t. It’s been a hard year, living in this house, working at the local library, and just having to start over again.
I was never close to Dad, not the way Mom was anyway, and it was clear when she got remarried and moved away that she wasn’t just leaving me, she was leaving the family. And suddenly, we never heard from her. And that’s fine. I have no reason to go and find her after 11 years of nothing. And one year of pain and suffering. I tried to reach out for the funeral, but her lack of showing up was nothing new or special. Perhaps his funeral was just as important as my missed birthdays, or plays, or whatever.
Forget it. Forget this line of thought. I can’t just sit here and dwell on it continually for the rest of my life. I can’t keep doing that to myself, I know. Perhaps I need longer than a year, but, I know that I have to leave Kurlington. I just…I can’t live in this house, I can’t sleep in his house, our house, whatever. It’s hard, trust me Diary, it’s hard. I dunno what else to say.
Sharon’s been a good friend throughout it all. She’s been helping around the house when she can, but honestly, it’s not her forte. She’s a terrible cook, a terrible cleaner, and while I’d like to tell her to go away, it’s too damn quiet in this house without her, or someone around.
And that, of course, like every time I write to you, leads us to Cecil. Oh Cecil. I hate him and I love him. I wish he was more than just a casual fling, but…I don’t think that’s the way he wants it. Do I want something more? I need to get out of Kurlington after all. But, day after day when the library enters its evening lull, my mind continually wanders to him, wondering what he’s doing, maybe if I’ll see him that night, whether I might wake up next to him in the morning.
Stop it. Stop it Juniper. You’re leaving Kurlington. Soon. Something has to change. Something has to change! Something soon!
What was it the old posters used to say? “Your Future is Now?” Or something? That’s what I have to keep telling myself! Everyday! I must tell myself that everyday!
My future is now. My future is coming.
Or something.
Till later, Diary,
J.
Prologue
Juniper Nesbitt, associate librarian of the Kurlington Public Library, carefully placed a library bookmark into page 43 as one of her regulars came up to the Information desk. He, like the cavalry officer in the romance book she was starting, was stalwart, hardened, and incredibly hard to please. He was a man of few words, she thought, but every time she was able to help him it made her happy, and more than a little relieved. Danny was a very precocious 8 year old, who she remembered was just getting into science fiction and reading far beyond his age.
“Good morning Danny, how’re you?” said Juniper exuberantly. She felt good this morning, perhaps it was something in the air.
“I didn’t like it,” he said, his high voice especially grating. The fantastic morning was fading, she thought.
“Well, let’s try and find something else for you then!” Juniper got up and gently placed her hand on Danny’s shoulder and led him through the stacks. Nearly every book she had given him, he had complained about. Except for some reason a few of Asimov’s books. Perhaps she could try something else. Or perhaps, she thought, she should let him choose.
“Here you go,” she said, pointing to the third row of books from the bottom. “From here,” she pointed to the left most book, “to here,” she continued pointing to a middle book. “You haven’t read any of these yet. This time I’m going to let you choose. If you don’t like it this time, it won’t be my fault,” she finished, smiling to Danny. Danny made a face, sat on the ground, and began pulling books from the shelves. He threw outside the first one after reading the first few lines of the back cover.
Juniper’s brunette hair was tied into a loose bun that morning. She fiddled with it as she walked back to her desk. She hated the bun look, but she thought it fit well with her skirt and the whole librarian aesthetic. As she approached her desk she noticed a wizened old lady standing there, presumably waiting for her.
“May I help you ma’am?” said Juniper, sitting down in her black, extremely uncomfortable, desk chair. She tried to lean forward, but the chair’s wheels were perpetually stuck, so it ended up being an awkward jerk. Composing herself, she looked back up to the wizened lady.
“May I see your hands please?” said the woman, her voice crackling with age and possibly one too many cigarettes in her youth.
“I’m sorry?”
“I’d like to see your hands. I’ve seen your eyes and I think I’d like to see your hands,” said the woman, holding her own crinkly, weathered, frail looking hands forward expectantly.
Kurlington was a weird small town, that much was certain to Juniper, but this was unheard of. No one had ever just walked up to her and asked to see her hands. And what was that about her eyes?
“Please?” asked the old woman. Their eyes met in that moment, and as if transfixed, Juniper found herself placing her young hands in the woman’s old ones.
With their eyes locked, the old woman’s eyes turned from their pale green to a milky white as soon as her hands clasped around Juniper’s. Her grip was tighter than Juniper had expected. Juniper couldn’t look away even as the old woman’s gaze shifted to the left, and then the right, rapidly.
“You are going on a journey,” said the woman, her voice taking on a solemnity and a slight echo.
“What?” whispered Juniper, half believing the old woman’s odd words, and half thinking about what movie they could have come from. There was no denying that the change in eye color was dramatic and possibly real, but her own cynicism was kicking in.
“You are going on a journey. That will test your soul. And if you be so lucky. Your soul will survive the journey,” continued the old woman.
“Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about really,” said Juniper. Her suspension of disbelief was wearing thin. She was a librarian, she kept the fantasy books on a shelf a few stacks over, but she didn’t believe they had any truth in them.
“The man you’re sleeping with He is not as he seems. It is best that you follow your heart, wherever it may lead.”
“Whoa lady, personal details!”
whispered Juniper urgently. The old bat could have plucked that out of anywhere, Juniper thought. Her mind flitted to Cecil, the man she had spent quite a few nights with over the past few months. Maybe there was something to him she didn’t know.
“Follow your heart,” the old woman repeated. Her eyes melded back to their pale green. Silently, she let go of Juniper’s hands, picked up her bag from the floor, and walked away from the desk without another word.
“I don’t understand what just happened,” Juniper whispered. She looked over to where she had left Danny. He sat next to a tower of books, yanked from the now empty shelf, intently reading. Perhaps it was best if she went back to doing her job, she thought.
Fired
The clock struck five in the afternoon. The intercom buzzed for a few seconds, and then the crackly voice of the Head Librarian, Margaret Schiller, broke through. “Could all library personnel please report to the back office immediately. Thank you.”
Juniper Nesbitt had been working at the Kurlington Public Library since she graduated college, moving home to care of her father. She forcibly reminded herself that she’d been back for more than a few years ago. She could feel time passing, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but nevertheless, still passing.
She knew it wasn’t a glamorous job, but ever since she was a little girl, all she’d ever wanted was to work in a library. She loved the books around her, the children getting underfoot, and the students scrambling to finish their papers, essays, and homework. But even she noticed that there were less people walking through the library’s doors as the internet slowly took over. She remembered when she went to high school in Kurlington, how full the patron’s desks were after school, and now it had visibly lessened.
Seated at her desk, on the second floor, she could see down below the glass rotunda into the main lobby, as all the other librarians filed into the back office. For some reason, she knew what was coming, and her heart leapt to the back of her throat.
Kurlington had spent an unseemly amount of money to build this new building for their public library system, furnishing it with state of the art computer terminals loaded with the best databases, and even increasing their ebook collection for digital lending. But, none of that could actually force people to step through the doors and use the space, justifying its very existence.
From behind the second floor ‘Information’ terminal, Juniper pushed back her brunette hair behind her ears, tried to fix the failing bun, got up and followed her colleagues to the back office.
Gerald, the shelver, poked his head out from behind a stack of books. “Do I need to come too?” he asked, his face a mixture of worry and stress. Even with the lack of people, the people that did wander through seemed to have increased the mess.
Juniper shook her head, and motioned for him to continue working. “I’ll let you know if there was anything important said.” Gerald nodded his head in understanding and delved back into the stacks.
Juniper had perfected, or so she thought, the look of a librarian. She wore comfortable black leather shoes, a decent skirt that came down past her knees, and a blouse that showed just enough cleavage to hint at something more without being too revealing. She had opted for frameless glasses instead of contacts because she couldn’t stand the idea of poking herself in the eye.
As she walked behind the checkout desk and into the back office, her brilliant green eyes scanned the room to see who had stopped working to show up to this meeting. Most of the librarians, including Doris Dietrich who been working in Kurlington since the Eisenhower Administration, were seated cordially in front of the Head Librarian. Most of the shelvers and the young volunteers were missing.
Margaret Schiller looked down her long nose at the librarians in front of her, a somber expression passing over her face. “It is my unfortunate duty to tell you that the Kurlington Library System is cutting half of its full time librarian staff,” she said, trying her best not to look at Juniper. But as she finished, her eyes landed on Juniper, almost sympathetically.
Doris Dietrich, who was hard of hearing, looked up at Juniper, and asked, “Could you repeat what she said? I couldn’t hear.” Doris’s old, hunched, crooked form tried to raise itself to Juniper’s height, but Juniper just bent down a few more inches.
“They’re going to be cutting back on full time library staff Doris. I think I’m out,” said Juniper.
“Yes, Juniper, you’d be correct,” said Margaret from across the room. “While I’d like to do this in private, I’m pretty sure you all know that’s not my style.” A chuckle rose from the librarians before she continued, “Some of you, when you were hired, were hired as contractors. You know who you are. Your termination is effective immediately.”
Margaret continued, but Juniper couldn’t hear any of it. Juniper Nesbitt, librarian of over three years, had just been summarily fired. And there was nothing she could do about it. The room started to spin around her. She backed herself up to a wall and closed her eyes until her mind calmed down. She began thinking about the mortgage payment that was due next week, about how she’d possibly continue to feed herself as she looked for a job, and most importantly her mind drifted to what her father would have thought of this. He wasn’t able to pay the house off and he had hoped that she would be able to do it.
She was taken out of her reverie by a light touch on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see Margaret holding out a paper envelope to her. “Last paycheck honey,” she said, pushing the envelope into Juniper’s hands.
Juniper took the envelope out of the room and hurriedly opened it. Her mind raced to figure out what her budget would have to be. She scanned the paycheck and found the number to be even more depressing than she thought. With whatever was left in her bank account, she had less than two thousand to last her until she found another job. She almost broke down into tears, but found her way back to her desk when a small boy tapped her knee. He couldn’t have been older than ten.
“Could you help me find something?” he asked, his small voice uneasy and clearly nervous.
Juniper looked down at the boy with a pleasant smile and wiped the corners of her eyes. Taking his outstretched hand, she walked him over to the kids section. Not seeing the kids section librarian, Janey, she proceeded to help him find a book.
* * *
Her shift and her job had ended, but Juniper found herself sitting in the break room, staring at the vending machine, forlornly wondering what was next. Perhaps things would turn out fine like a boring bag of chocolate pieces, or perhaps the future held interesting ripples like the nougat and chocolate bars. Either way, at this very moment her life was fucked.
The old lady’s words from yesterday sprang back into her mind, but she pushed them away hurriedly. How could she have known that Juniper would get fired, she thought? How could she have predicted the future? It wasn’t logical, she reminded herself.
Her phone buzzed next to her. She picked it up to find that her best friend, Sharon, had texted her. “Drinks tonight?” the text message read. She hadn’t told told Sharon yet, and spending money on drinks when she wasn’t sure where food was going to come from could be a dangerous proposition.
She looked at the vending machine again and her eyes rested on the spearmint gum, the curling metal candy holders, and ultimately her own reflection on the clear glass. Her mind drifted to thoughts of Cecil Montenegro, the man she wished would be in her life more. She thought it was clear that she was but one of his many late night phone calls, and it was embarrassing to always rush over to his house in the dark midnight hours, but something about him kept making her return. Maybe she should admit she was in love with him? If she was being honest to herself, and what better time to do just that, all she could think about was her desperate need to get laid. Wrapping herself in his arms and pushing her face into his bare chest seemed like a much better proposition than sitting down to sad and depressing drinks with Sharon.
The last time she had seen Cecil was a few days ago, not
necessarily a midnight phone call and quick drive over to his large dusty house, as he had actually come over to her house. She took him into her childhood bedroom, and like so many teenage fantasies and memories, she had found a way to get a beautiful boy into her bed. The sheets had smelled like him since, and she hadn’t the heart to continue sleeping on them. He had a way about him, that made her forget about everything but the moment when he touched her.
Her thoughts of being with Cecil were broken by another text message. Just fantasizing about him in the middle of the day was making her even sadder. “Ccccommmeeee onnnnn, you know you want to,” read the second text message from Sharon.
“I got fired today,” replied Juniper, nearly throwing her phone into the wall after she it. She was both embarrassed and angry by her situation, and telling her best friend just made her feel worse. She tucked her hair behind her ears and crossed her arms, staring at the phone for Sharon’s reply.
“Then obviously you NEED a drink. And drinks are obviously on me,” read Sharon’s reply, coming in less than 30 seconds later.
Juniper sighed. She always forgot why exactly Sharon was a good friend, but it was times like these that served as a perfect reminder. She gathered her purse, tucked her last paycheck under her arm, and walked out of the break room. Somewhere inside her she was more than a little sad that she’d never be seeing it again. Juniper had really loved being a librarian. But just as her father taught, with her head held high, she walked into her future. And her future was now.
January 18th
Dear Diary,
I think this entry has to start by saying how awful it is that I still start this thing with ‘Dear Diary.’ How about I grow up and call it ‘Dear Journal,’ or perhaps nothing at all! I’m not in high school anymore. I didn’t get fired from a job in high school. No, that happened today.
Gone With An Ancient (Ancient Atlantis Book 1) Page 1
