by Flynn Eire
“Give us one reason not to bloody you,” one of his siblings snarled.
“Fuck and you,” I said right back, ready to block the shot I saw coming.
Except Trevor darted in front of me and took it, going down again. “Gerald, shove it. Don’t touch him.” He wiped blood from his mouth, looking like he was seriously hurting from that hit.
“He just hit you, Trevor. No one hits us, especially the baby.”
“I’m hundreds of years old,” he grumbled, grabbing his head. “Shit, Gerald, that hit could have fucking caved in his face.”
“Good,” Gerald growled, looking like he planned to do it again.
I heard a clap and suddenly felt power, and all the Hales were away from me, Barry standing a few feet away with his silver Nephilim eyes. “Stop it. Dub, don’t do this. Don’t blow this because he screwed up. He made a mistake. Let him explain. Don’t ruin what you could have. Mating Tristan was the best thing I ever did. And don’t tear his family up or cause a rift with the Hales because they defended their brother.”
“You knew,” Trevor whispered, giving Barry a shocked look.
“I guessed,” he corrected, easing down. “Why did you do it?”
“I wasn’t going to,” Trevor admitted, wiping up blood from his nose that seemed to heal already. “But then I met one of his other lovers, and I realized I’d be upset if someone didn’t warn me. I wasn’t ready to tell him, but it wasn’t fair to not warn them when I knew. It wasn’t selfish, I swear. I didn’t want him touching others. Of course I didn’t. It would have killed me, but he’s not mine, it wasn’t my call. It was their call once I told one the truth and she told others.”
“I had a right to know,” I bitched, not as angry but still not happy. I mean, it wasn’t as bad as I had thought, but it still wasn’t okay.
“I was going to tell you,” he promised, tears filling his eyes. “You’re so against even dating that I just wanted to get to know you better. I thought if we could at least like each other instead of just fucking, it wouldn’t be such a bomb to drop. You’re so against fate and the master plans because it landed you here and others’ hurting that… You didn’t even like hounds really. I’m sorry, Dublin. I was going to tell you.”
His tears felt like a punch to the gut, and I had to look away. “You still deserved the punch for telling others we’re mates before me.”
“That’s fair,” he accepted. “I told one of the Sethos brothers so they didn’t throw a fit that I touched a saved soul. I think the woman I spoke with told the others because one ran her mouth about you and she didn’t like it.”
“Yeah, I knew about that,” I muttered, shrugging. “I’m a fun time.”
“You are more than that, Dublin,” he whispered, rolling to his feet and touching my arm. “You are so, so much more than that. And you are absolutely smart to have figured this out. It wasn’t like there were dozens of people to warn off you and there are a million reasons they could all be busy for one week.”
I rolled my eyes. That was a bit much. “Yeah, just too stupid to figure out we were mates and that’s why you agreed to anything I wanted.”
“No, I did that because I wanted to,” he argued, moving in front of me and shooting his siblings a look, wincing. I opened my mouth to be mean but then shut it. No matter how upset I was, I couldn’t intentionally hurt him. “Thank you.”
“I’m not a jerk like that.”
“No, you’re not. You might be one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met,” he said gently, moving closer. “I’m sorry, Dublin. Please give me a chance.”
I met his gaze, ignoring the tears this time. “You hurt me, Trevor. Don’t you think it hurt to find out you were being a puppeteer in my life even if for a good reason? Haven’t I had enough of that between the demon and God’s plan or whatever? In what world would it not completely ruin any chance I’d give my mate if he did the same?”
His face went pale. “Dublin, please, please. I didn’t think about it like that. I truly didn’t. I smelled you on her, and I felt guilty. I thought about if it could be me and it was someone mated to my brothers. How I would feel if I didn’t warn them. What if she’s meant to be with my younger brothers? How could my trying to do right by you and not dump it on you end up hurting her?”
I grabbed him and pulled him closer, mashing my mouth to his. “Goodbye, Trevor.”
“What?” he gasped, tears filling his eyes, not having thought the kiss was goodbye.
“You still played me, no matter the reasons or intentions. You played your mate. That is not an opportunity I’d ever let you have again. It’s a shame because I thought I might really like you.” I let him go and headed for the door.
“Dub, wait,” Barry argued.
“Let him go,” Tristan muttered, standing next to his mate. “Let him cool off. It’s not your hurt to fix but his mate’s.”
“He’s my friend.”
“Then be his friend and be on his side like he was for you when I hurt you,” he said gently. “You should be putting his mate through hell like he did to me.”
“Yeah, you should,” I agreed, annoyed with Barry too that he seemed to side with Trevor. I glanced over to Geir and Odd, who were two of the only hounds I liked. “I’m snagging some booze.”
“Help yourself,” Odd agreed.
“Understandably,” Geir muttered, shooting the Hales a worried look since he was attached to them with his sons and their cousins.
I ignored it. I ignored the worried looks and politics and just about everything else as I swung by their stocked bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and tequila. Not their fancy, fancy labels of expensive shit, but good stuff that would get the job done. I tucked them under my arm and pulled out my phone, shooting Lois a text asking if she could cover my shift at the clinic Monday.
The rest was training, and I was pretty sure no one expected me to show up. I might still catch chore time with the twins Monday, but I planned to tie one off good the one day left of the weekend. Barry started sending me texts asking what he could do, and I knew it upset him when I replied that I wanted him to leave me alone, but I did.
I was hurt by him too. I’d done everything to be a good friend to him, giving a shit about him more than just about anyone else in my life ever, and he was defending Trevor. Even if it was reasonable and not as bad as it seemed, even if he truly thought being mated could make me happy… He was supposed to be on my side. Fuck, even Tristan got that.
I swung by the cafeteria where they were starting to put out lunch. “Hey, can I grab early, or is that a pain?”
“No, it’s cool,” the guy said, nodding to go ahead after I gestured to the bar. “You okay?”
“No, I don’t think I am,” I admitted. “I just want to get food and go.”
“And drink all of that?” he worried, glancing at the bottles.
I shrugged. “Tequila’s pretty perfect for nachos, right?”
“Dude, don’t make me a jerk who didn’t call someone and you drink too much, okay?”
“Yeah, not that bad,” I promised. “Just need to tie one off and avoid the whispers and looks.”
“Okay, what do you want then? I can grab it first.”
“The Cool Ranch Doritos. I’m adding those.” I thanked him and listed all I liked, seeing most of it was on his cart and helping him to load up the bar. Then I built myself three massive containers, two having only toppings, and I grabbed more chips to go so it didn’t get soggy.
“Good, yeah, lots to soak up fucking tequila,” he agreed, finding me a bag to carry it all.
I nodded, thinking it was more eating my feelings, but he talked me into some desserts that way too, and I could never say no to any of Stella’s pies, so several slices were added to another container as well. Yeah, good break up food.
Funny, because we weren’t really even dating, but it hurt like it. Betrayal would do that.
I headed to my room and decided to finally check out Game of Thrones because I he
ard there was sex but a lot, a lot of people dying, and that sounded good right then. Plus, everyone talked about it. Like everyone and seriously, I got looks like I lived on another planet for never having checked it out. Time to see what all the hype was as I ate too much and drank right from the bottle.
Always a good weekend plan.
For someone who wasn’t all that smart, sometimes I really could be. I ate my container of nachos during the first episode. I had broken hot and cold toppings in the other two containers, so I heated up the warm stuff and cheese in a bowl with the microwave before adding the cold and had myself a whole new meal.
And I was especially proud of this after the amount of tequila I’d already drank, totally in the bag and switching to Coke in my fridge. Then the rest I made and finished it all off with more tequila, barely paying attention to the show at all. I was too full for dessert, but Trevor showed up during the fourth episode, phasing right through my door.
He stayed a hound for a few moments, making sure I saw him before turning into a man. A naked, hard, and sexy man.
“Sorry to just barge in, but I was worried,” he murmured.
I ignored him, not even looking at him as I took another swig of tequila.
“Dublin, please talk to me,” he begged, moving over by me and kneeling at my feet.
I didn’t. I kept watching the show I didn’t care about, cold where he touched me. It was his hand on my leg, but then he lowered his head to rest on me like maybe we were just watching TV together.
We weren’t. I was hurting and ignoring him. So not the same.
And I was drunk. Couldn’t forget the drunk part.
I finally spoke during the sixth episode, startling him from the way he jumped. “You told everyone I was your mate and scared them off so I can’t even go find comfort and distract myself. Very sly of you.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he whispered, sounding heartbroken. “I’ll comfort you. I want to. Let me comfort you.”
I looked at him, and he flinched, not liking whatever was in my eyes. “You want to comfort me from how upset I am that you hurt me? Over what you did? How do you think that will play out? I’ll forgive you after? You think I’ll be nice to you during it?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, moving closer. He took the bottle from me, giving me a scared look. “Be mean if you want. I deserve it. I absolutely deserve it for hurting you. I swear I didn’t get it, didn’t understand. I don’t know what will happen, but you’re my mate and you’re hurting. Let me help. I don’t care what you do to me, but let me help, Dublin.”
“No. I’m not mean like that,” I muttered, looking back to the TV. “I’m not going to have you suck my dick because I want to stop hurting when I have no desire to take you back or be with you. It’s not happening, so just go.”
“No, I don’t want to go,” he rasped, moving between my legs. He yanked me down the couch a bit and lowered the front of my running pants.
I went to tell him to stop, but he wrapped his lips around me, and I wasn’t sure why I was even half hard. I mean, there were tits and ass all over the show, but I hadn’t really been paying that much attention to it. Maybe I had if I was even remotely excited.
His mouth was the reason I got fully excited.
I fisted his hair and shoved him on my dick when he looked up at me with pleading eyes. “Don’t give me those puppy dog eyes. I’m not forgiving you. You want to suck it, suck it. I didn’t ask.”
He nodded, shaking in a way I tried to ignore, but I wondered if he was really upset too. Not just the whole mates thing but upset he hurt me. Would he have cared if I wasn’t his mate? No, right? He probably would have been just like all the others and treated me like a good time. The guy with the big dick and not much else.
All of it was tainted because I was his mate and he hadn’t told me. I had started to feel good about myself. Not stupid for once because of his praises, talking with him and finding out I wasn’t as dumb as lots of people he’d known over his centuries. And it was just because he was my mate.
I shook my head. Did that matter?
Yes, yes it did. I would have seen it differently, thought about it more because he wasn’t just an objective party. He was drawn to me. Hurt because I hurt. That was how the mates thing worked, right?
“Can you taste the pain?” I asked, thrusting up into his mouth, backing off when he choked because I couldn’t hurt him no matter how angry I was. “Can you taste the hurt? How about all the confusion wondering if you just said everything you did because of the bond or because you were trying to warm me up to the idea of being mates?”
He moaned as I came and swallowed it all down. The next thing I knew he was moving up on the couch, straddling my lap. He said that Enochian spell and gasped as he was ready. “That wasn’t what it was.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Really? You didn’t meet me and get involved trying to change me? How many times did you lie that only messing around was okay or anything else?”
He frowned. “Are you just trying to be mad at me?”
I snarled as I stood, picking him up with me and stumbling over to the bed. I threw him down and followed, spreading him wide and shoving my still hard cock in him. “Yes, that must be it. I want to be mad. It’s not how hurt I am or all these different thoughts and questions swirling around me. No, I want to be mad. I want to be hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” he gasped as I pounded into him. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t believe you! I don’t believe anything you say now.” I covered his mouth when he tried to defend himself, but was sober enough to be careful of his nose so he could still breathe. “You’re like the girl who tries to change the guy who doesn’t want marriage or kids. Don’t give me shit about how it’s different because we’re mates. You didn’t tell me. If you had told me like I deserved, I wouldn’t have been an asshole and messed around.
“Didn’t I show I’m not a jerk like that? No, instead you go behind my back, push me around like the stupid mouse in a maze. Then you come here naked, offering blow jobs and prepping yourself for sex. I am more than my cock! You of all people were supposed to get that. You lied to me. Did you lie about that too?” I’d been so busy grunting in rambles in between thrusts, I didn’t even realize my orgasm was coming until it hit me hard.
Apparently that whole shorter duration when drunk wasn’t a myth because I really hadn’t even been focusing. I pumped everything deep into Trevor before collapsing on him.
“Stop playing me and leave me alone,” I rasped. “You took everything. Any self-esteem I started to feel. Any hope that one day someone would want me for more than play. You even took my best friend from me. He’s on your side.”
And then I passed out, not even getting off of him first, the tequila and stress winning over normal niceties.
When I woke, I was cleaned up and alone without even a fucking note or anything. Great, that helped my feeling cheap. I had a moment to get excited when I saw a large box with a bow on it, but it was a gift from Barry.
A huge dart board with Trevor’s picture on it and a note saying he was ready to throw all the darts I wanted. It was funny but a bit too little too late. I tossed it in the corner of my room and went to shower, ignoring the burning in my eyes, shocked I could cry after so many years of never doing it.
After all I’d been through, I’d thought I was way past letting anything get through my armor. Great, Trevor had fucking busted through it and was the one stabbing me now that I was unprotected.
Fucking Trevor.
4
“Stop playing me and leave me alone,” Dublin rasped. “You took everything. Any self-esteem I started to feel. Any hope that one day someone would want me for more than play. You even took my best friend from me. He’s on your side.”
My eyes filled with tears at his words and how drunk he was, passing out after slurring the last bit. I’d hurt my mate so, so bad, and all I’d wanted to do was anything but that. I hugged hi
m tightly and told him everything I wanted to say, some part of me hoping even in his sleep he would hear me, believe me.
Then I rolled us, more tears falling when I pulled off his dick, terrified it would be the last time my mate would touch me. I cleaned him up, tucked him in, set his room to right, gave him a soft kiss, and left, thinking the last thing to do was still be there when he woke.
I shifted and phased through the door, hurrying back to the castle and hoping to at least fix something so my mate wasn’t alone. I went to my room to redress so I didn’t show up in front of another hound’s mate naked, then sniffed out Barry.
“Dublin thinks I stole you,” I blurted, not caring that others were around or everyone was gathered for dinner. “Please help him. I went to beg his forgiveness and instead made things worse. He was drunk, drinking right out of the bottle, and the pain he was in, the pain he is in—I don’t know how to help him. I made things worse.”
“I did too,” Barry sighed, scrubbing his hand over his head. “Dublin had a truly horrible childhood, and I say that as someone who had a fucked up one as well.”
Gerald snorted, moving up next to me. “We were born Hellhounds, and our parents buy into the whole serving Hell thing.”
“It’s not a contest,” I snapped at Gerald.
“Your mate hit you, so I give a shit about him or his crappy childhood.”
I shoved him, not caring he was my brother or people were watching. “That’s my mate, Gerald. I deserved it. It was my fault. I tried to handle the situation, make things better and easier on him, instead of being honest.”
“So what? You—”
“Everyone has treated him like he’s stupid, and I didn’t treat him like my equal,” I cut in, rubbing my chest. “I didn’t mean to, but I understand why he’s so hurt. I treated him with kid gloves instead of being honest and respecting him as I should. He’s right. He’s done nothing but be nice to me, show me he’s not some asshole who would blow me off or the bond. I messed up and big, knowing how badly he’d been hurt.”
