“The older I got, the more she became a friend, and someone I could go to whenever my mother wasn’t around. When I was about fourteen, she got involved with this guy. He seemed cool at first, taking me out with them to the movies or arcades and shit. I could tell he was trying to get on my good side to butter her up, but I was young and didn’t mind getting free stuff. After a while though, she stopped coming around as often. A year into their relationship, I decided to randomly stop by her crib just to visit like old times. At first, she wouldn’t answer the door, but I wasn’t leaving. I could feel something was off. When she finally opened the door, all I saw was her swollen eye. The first thing I asked was who’d done that to her. She wouldn’t tell me, but I knew it was her boyfriend, Doug. I’d never been so angry in my life. Knowing that a man had put his hands on my aunt...” he paused and inhaled.
My eyes blurred with tears and my heart began to pound as I knew where this was leading.
“At first, she broke up with him, but then he promised never to do it again. He was sweet and convincing, and she took him back. She and my mom had become friends, and I overheard my aunt telling my mom how much he’d changed and how caring he was now.
“Soon after, he moved into her place and by that time just about all communication between my aunt and me stopped. He knew I couldn’t stand him and he did everything he could to come between us. One night, not even three full months after he moved in, my mom and I got a call from my grandmother, saying Aunt Lisa was dead. They’d gotten into an argument, and in a fit of rage he pulled a knife from the kitchen and…” He didn’t finish.
“Xavier,” I whispered, stepping into him, now rubbing his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
He shook his head, looking out into the distance. “No one knew. It happened right before I changed schools and started going to private school. I didn’t tell anyone, although my mom made me see the counselor from time to time after I refused to talk to her about it.”
“No one knew? Not even Jason?”
He shook his head again.
My heart plummeted, sorrow washing over me to learn he’d carried this burden alone for so long.
“You know there wasn’t anything you could’ve done, right? What happened to your aunt wasn’t your fault.”
His jaw flexed, but he remained silent, looking out at something past my shoulder. I could tell by the look in his eyes he wasn’t seeing anything. His chestnut face filled with remorse and regret.
My heart squeezed in my chest as I searched my brain for a way to ease his pain. When I found nothing, I stepped into him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his chest. I let out a shaky breath when his arms came down to wrap around me. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer for his aunt and asked to provide even an ounce of the comfort he’d provided me when Anne Marie was killed. Just as I finished my prayer, my eyes popped open in realization. Still holding on to him at the waist, I leaned back to look up into his face.
Sad eyes looked down at me.
“Is that why you walked out? I mean, on me?”
He stared at me, searching my eyes for something before he nodded slightly. “That picture of you,” his face tightened. “And then seeing you sit down with the same person who’d done that. I just couldn’t...I was too angry. I didn’t even realize it had to do with my aunt until later, after talking with my mom. The thought of another woman I love being hurt like that and then going back…”
“Going back was never an option,” I blurted, somehow against the lump in my throat. It didn’t escape my awareness that Xavier had once again mentioned the word love when referring to me. But I also needed to make it clear that I never once considered going back to Ethan. That wasn’t what that meeting was about.
“I know that now, but then I wasn’t ready to hear it.”
I nodded and rubbed his stomach.
“I just need you to promise me you’ll never see him again.”
“Xavier, I already told—”
“Just say it again.”
“I won’t ever see or speak to him again,” I agreed.
He didn’t speak, but when he pulled me into him and lowered his chin to the top of my head, I knew my statement had satisfied him. We remained in that position for a long time, just breathing in unison with one another. I could feel Xavier’s torment in the unsteadiness of his breathing and his erratic heartbeat. Eventually, they both slowed down to a regular pace. I noticed that Donna and a few others were beginning to pack up some of the chairs.
“They’re getting ready to leave soon. I’ll tell Donna we’re going to go.” We had originally planned to stay until the end to pack up, but I didn’t think Xavier was in a place to help and I didn’t want to request that of him, after what he’d just revealed. But he managed to surprise me again with how much he thought of others.
“No, we can help clean up. It shouldn’t take too long.”
“You sure? It’s no big deal. I’m sure Donna will underst—” My protest was cut off by his lips. It was a quick peck, obviously done to silence me, which worked.
“I’m sure,” he stated once he pulled back, still cupping my face.
“Okay.”
We spent the next thirty minutes helping deconstruct the picnic tables, chairs and various stands that were in our section of the park. I frequently took breaks just to stare at Xavier. The space in my heart where he’d embedded himself had opened up just a little more, making even more room for his permanent residence. And while that thought still scared me, it was also a comforting feeling. One of safety in the knowledge that, just maybe, if I gave my heart to him completely, he’d keep it secure.
Then I began to wonder if I had the courage to do the same for him in return.
****
Later that evening, after stuffing ourselves with delicious Thai food from yet another one of Xavier’s restaurants, we lay sprawled out on his huge bed. I sat with my back pressed against his massive headboard. My legs were stretched out in front of me, and I was covered in one of his T-shirts. I looked down in my lap where Xavier’s head rested. His eyelids hung low but not all the way closed. I allowed my eyes to roam over the rest of his body and my belly flip-flopped when the muscles in his abdomen bulged and flexed as he adjusted his long legs, which were partially hanging over the side of the bed.
He wore only a pair of white boxer briefs that beautifully outlined the thick appendage between his legs. Wordlessly, he reached for my hand and brought it to his lips, before raising it to his head, silently conveying that he wanted me to keep stroking his low-cut Caesar with my hand as I’d been doing moments before.
“I’m glad you didn’t put on Lemonade again.” He grunted when I shoved at his shoulder lightly.
“We do not disrespect the queen.” I’d opted to play Rihanna’s ANTI.
“Whatever, I mean, it ain’t like this is much better, though.”
I paused as Rihanna sang the chords of Need Me, and laughed.
“This song kinda reminds me of you.”
He tilted his head. “Me?”
“Yeah, you. I mean, it was always how I thought of you. Not needing anyone, well, not a woman at least, as frequently as you changed women. Just another chick on the hit list. That was part of the reason I wasn’t tryna date you to begin with.”
He gave me a contemplative look. “That’s what you thought, huh?”
“That and a few other things,” I laughed as I continued to stroke his head with my hand.
“Like what?”
The memory of the first time I saw him in my office building came to mind. The image of him dressed in a suit that was made to fit only him. His confident swagger and demeanor, not even noticing the women whose eyes he caught as he passed by, and that dimple when he smiled down at me….
“I thought men like you shouldn’t be allowed out after five o’clock.”
He chuckled.
“I’m serious. That was my first thought when I saw you in
my office building the day you walked me to my car.” I smiled just thinking about how warm my belly got watching him.
“Want to know what I thought?” His question broke into my concentration, and my hand faltered. I briefly wondered if I wanted to know what he thought that day.
“What?” I finally asked.
“I thought, little Chanel has grown the hell up.”
“Shut up!” I shoved his shoulder.
“No, I’m serious though,” he said between laughs. “I mean, the way that peach was sitting in that beige skirt you wore had me doing double takes.”
“So, I didn't imagine that, huh? You were staring at my ass.”
“Hell, yeah, have you seen that ass?”
I threw my head back, giggling.
“So, that’s why you asked me out? My ass?”
He smirked. “That was just the icing on the cake. It was the pull I felt whenever I was around you.”
“It didn’t bother you that I was your best friend’s little sister?”
“Not particularly. But I did speak with Jay about it.”
“You did?” I’d never known that.
“Yeah. That’s my man. And I was serious about finding out whatever this was between you and me, so out of respect for his and my friendship, I told him what was up.”
“Not all of it, I hope,” I mumbled, causing Xavier to chuckle again.
“Definitely not everything. That’s between you and me.”
The silence between us stretched out as the music played in the background. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, however. We didn’t need to fill the space between us with words. But I did begin to wonder…
“How come you never told Jason about your aunt?”
His eyes rose to meet mine. I wanted to know more about his aunt. I could tell by the anguish in his voice when he talked about her how much he loved her and how close they were.
“I never told anyone, outside of the school counselors my mom made me see for a short time.”
“Why?”
“Maybe the same reason you never told anyone about your ex.”
I frowned in confusion. “Shame? Why would you be ashamed?”
He sighed and grabbed my other hand, placing it on his chest, right over his heart.
“It’s who I am. I’ve always looked out for the people I care about. Logically, I know I was just a teenager when it happened, but it still kills me that I couldn’t be there for her, to protect her. I hated that feeling of helplessness I still feel. Just thinking about what he did to her those months before he murdered her… I wonder, how many times did he hit her? How many lies did he tell her to convince her to stay?
“She never once called the police on him. I always believed that if she had just reached out for help, she’d still be alive today. Shit, I might’ve killed him myself if I could’ve. I tried to when I got to the police station that night. My mother and grandmother had to hold me back as the police walked him through to the processing department.”
“Where is he now?”
“Dead,” Xavier stated through gritted teeth. “He was sentenced to twenty years to life, but ten years later, he died of a massive stroke in jail.”
I could hear the anger and regret in his voice. His level of hatred for the man who took his aunt from him was still there.
“She was your father’s sister?”
He nodded.
“I thought you didn’t speak to that side of your family.” He’d never mentioned his father, except to say that the man had wanted nothing to do with him since he was born.
“I don’t, for the most part. My Aunt Lisa was one of the only ones who took an interest in me and tried to hold my father accountable. My grandmother did somewhat, but she was the type to coddle her only son. My grandmother loved me and was there for me as a kid, but Aunt Lisa and I were especially close. She came to my mother a few months after I was born and the DNA test had proved I was my father’s. My grandmother was the only link to that side of my family after Aunt Lisa died. Since my grandmother passed a few years ago, I haven’t spoken to anyone.”
“Not even your father?”
He snorted. “Especially not him. He never wanted anything to do with me.”
I paused, hearing the anger in his voice when he spoke of his father.
“Have you considered going back to see a counselor?”
He raised a curious eyebrow at me. “For what?”
“For what? For everything you’ve just told me. Losing someone you’re close to in a violent way like that is rough, especially in your formative years. And your father…”
“I’m fine with it.”
“Are you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, you walked out on me, at least in part, because of your own feelings about what happened to your aunt. It obviously still impacts—”
“I said I was fine with it.”
I heard the finality in his voice. I wasn’t looking to upset him, so I reluctantly decided to drop it.
“Okay. Just know that I think your father’s behavior was fucked up. I couldn’t imagine anyone not wanting you,” I stated honestly. If he didn’t want to discuss his aunt, I’d leave it alone, but I wanted him to know how I felt about his father too.
I noticed his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed after my statement.
“Same with you, baby girl.”
He sat up fully, bringing his face close to mine, looking deep into my eyes.
“Elliott’s as savvy as they come in business, but he was a shitty father. You deserved better.”
For the second time that day, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I’d been trying to be comforting to him, and once again here he was, making me feel like the most precious thing on earth.
Thankfully, any response I would’ve made was cut off when his lips connected with mine. I parted my lips, allowing his tongue to enter, and the usual sparks of passion that always swept me up when we were this close took over.
The rest of the night was a blur of limbs, skin sliding against skin, and the type of orgasms that only this man could give me.
Chapter Eleven
Xavier
I strolled past the double doors into my downtown office just after eight the following Tuesday morning. I rarely made it to the office this early, especially after my workouts with Jason each Tuesday, but I needed to get some things done and had a shit ton of meetings that day in particular, and I had to leave the office on time to make my double date with Chanel, my mother, and Todd.
I hadn’t even complained about having to get up early that day, which was unusual for me. But since I’d shared the story about my aunt with Chanel, I’d been feeling lighter than usual. As if a weight I didn’t even know I’d been carrying had been lifted. Don’t get me wrong, I still hated Doug with every fiber of my being, and I knew if he was still alive, I’d fuck him up on sight. However, I guessed it was true what they said about sharing your sorrow with someone; it really does help lighten the load.
“Any messages for me, Bryce?” I asked my assistant as I reached his desk. I wasn’t surprised he was there this early. Whereas I was more of a night owl, Bryce was an early riser. He often beat me to the office, having my messages and anything pertinent ready for me to look at.
“Just a message from Isaac, checking in,” he answered, handing me the message sheet. Isaac had just returned to Vegas. He was overseeing the reconstruction of the restaurants and had begun looking to fill the employee positions that we hadn’t already filled.
“Cool.” I nodded, looking down at the message. “I have a nine-thirty today, right?”
Bryce pulled up my schedule on his computer. “Yes sir, and that’s followed by a phone meeting at eleven, which should take about thirty minutes, and then you have a one o’clock lunch meeting at Grant’s. Busy day today,” he noted.
“Nothing I can’t handle.” I turned to make my way down to the corner office. As soon as I entered, I
powered up my computer before staring out my large floor-to-ceiling window with a view of downtown Houston. While other cities like New York boasted about their skyline, I always had an affinity for this one right here. Looking out at it reminded me how far I’d come and how hard I’d hustled to get here, and still, how much more I wanted to accomplish. In my mid-thirties, I was only beginning to hit my stride. I wanted a legacy to pass down to my future children. I’d never been one of those men who said they didn’t want to be tied down with a wife and kids someday. I always knew that was in the cards for me. I needed that sort of anchor in my life.
The image of a laughing Chanel flashed in my mind. I briefly wondered what she would look like, her belly swollen with my baby. Those ponderings reminded me of what she’d said about what happened after she left her fiancé in D.C. A dull, less satisfying feeling grew in my stomach, but I wouldn’t indulge it at the moment. I had work to do.
I continued working for the next fifteen or twenty minutes when I was interrupted by my ringing office phone.
“Yeah, Bryce,” I answered, distracted, looking over an email on my computer screen.
“There’s an Elliott Combs here to see you.”
I sat up a little straighter in my chair, my attention completely taken off the email.
“Send him in.” I waited the few minutes it took for Elliott to make his way to my office. There was a knock at the semi-closed door. “Come in, Elliott.” I stood as he entered.
“Xavier, good to see you,” he stated, holding out his hand. We shook hands, and I offered him the chair in front of me.
“Elliott, it’s early.” I glanced at my wristwatch. It was barely eight-thirty.
“I know, but early mornings tend to be my slowest time of the day, and I figured I’d try to catch you before either one of our days got started.”
I nodded. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what this was all about, but I knew. There were only so many reasons the father of the woman you’re dating comes to see you early as hell in the middle of the week.
Safe Space II: The Finale Page 14
