by Lola StVil
“But I love you; I still love you.”
“I know. But I don’t love who I’ve become trying to hold on to you. I need to find out what it’s like to be alone. And you need to go find out what’s between you and Pryor.”
“There is nothing between us!” he vows.
“Bex, every battle we face could be our last. Please don’t waste anymore time pretending she means nothing to you. You want her. You need her. And there’s a good chance she wants and needs you too,” she says as she stands up and gathers herself.
“Key, please don’t do this. We can figure it out. I don’t want to lose you. Please, Key, don’t walk out on us,” he insists.
“You walked out on us months ago. I know you didn’t walk out to be cruel. I know you tried to stay in love with me. But the fact is your heart is somewhere else. Please, follow it.” She gets up and starts gathering her things to go.
“You can’t do this. You can’t just end us. Key, please…” he says desperately.“Wait, we need to talk about this. Where are you going?” he asks.
“My parents used to help out a small orphanage in Mexico. They took me and Swoop there many times. I haven’t been back in a while and I think it’s time I returned. It’s the only time I really feel close to my parents.”
“So you’re just taking off by yourself?” he asks.
“Yeah, I’m gonna lose myself in charity. I think it’s the only way I can really…find myself,” she says as she heads down the steps and onto the sidewalk.
“Key, wait!” he demands. She sighs and turns back to face him. He goes down the steps and looks into her face.
“Bex, walking down this block knowing that it’s really over between us is going to kill me. Yet, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna walk away. But if you call me, if you even so much as whisper my name, I will turn back. So if you think some little part of you, no matter how small, wants to be with Pryor, please do the humane thing and remain silent as I walk away. Because I can’t take being in love alone anymore; it hurts. It hurts.”
She slowly turns and heads down the block. Bex reaches into his pocket and takes out a small black velvet box. He opens it and reveals the contents—it’s a small glass case with a liquid-like substance inside. It’s his Rah: the angel equivalent of a wedding ring. Bex was going to ask Key to marry him tonight.
Bex looks like he wants to go after her, yet he stands still. The Rah inside his palm gleams in the light of the fading sun. He watches, pained, as his former girlfriend gets further away. Judging by her shoulders, she’s sobbing and beside herself. But to her credit she never once turns around…
* * *
The flight to Mrs. Maybelle’s is a silent one. Bex hasn’t said a word and judging by his demeanor, he’s in no mood for conversation. Silver is pissed at me for not replying to his Bex question. But it’s hard to give him an answer when I don’t have one.
Meanwhile, Swoop and Randy try to cheer up East, who is still getting over Marisol. Ruin keeps sneaking glances at Silver when she thinks he’s not looking. There’s something on her mind, I can tell. Yet she has made no attempt to talk to Silver or anyone else. I watch her closely and not just because it’s my job.
Once we arrive at Mrs. Maybelle’s place, one of the kids takes us to the guesthouse about five minutes from the main property. It’s a charming two level home with antique furniture and bright accent colors—a fusion of rustic meets romance.
Once we each pick a room and settle in, Mrs. Maybelle puts us to work. We help her build a playground in the backyard, make home repairs, and paint the entire house.
Mrs. Maybelle can get people to do this work, but I think she likes having us around. The little boy Kevin follows Bex around helplessly like a little puppy. By the end, Kevin looks like a mini version of Bex and has gotten everything down from Bex’s “serious” glare to his feet apart “ready to fight” stance. Kevin becomes Bex’s shadow. It is beyond adorable. Yet behind his smile, we can see Bex is hurting.
On our third night here, I find Bex out on the front porch of the guesthouse. He’s checking his phone. I’m guessing it’s to see if Key called. He’s been checking it every twenty minutes, we all notice. Even Ruin feels kind of bad for him after a while.
“Hey, um…Mrs. Maybelle said there’s a box of nails that might work better. It’s out in the woodshed,” I tell him.
“I’ll go get it in a minute,” he says with his eyes glued to the screen.
“Any luck?” I dare ask.
“No. She’s probably just…busy. She’ll call,” he says, mostly to convince himself.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I lie.
I start to head back to the main house, but something keeps nagging at me. Should I confront him about his feelings for me?
“Hey Bex,” I call out.
“Yeah?”
“Nothing,” I reply.
How can I even bring up the subject of how he feels about me when he’s still so hurt from his breakup with Key? If Bex does feel something for me, I doubt it will ever see the light of day…
Chapter Twenty-Eight:
Hold Back The Darkness
On our last day, Mrs. Maybelle says she has one final job for us. So the team and I head out back to see what she needs help with. We’re shocked when we walk out and find a crowd of angels, Quo, and humans gathered along the sprawling yard. There’s a banner that floats in midair with letters that sparkle like fireworks and change every few seconds. The letters spell out the same words in every language: Thank You.
“Mrs. Maybelle, we’re honored, but really you didn’t have to do this,” I reply.
“No she didn’t, but bless you for doing it anyway!” Swoop says as she quickly kisses Mrs. Maybelle on the cheek and heads towards the nearest Quo hottie.
“You welcome, sugar!” she shouts back as she signals for the band to start playing.
Mrs. Maybelle orders us to have fun and not to even think about work or another mission. We promise to try and have a good time given the amount of work and expense she put into this party. I order the team to blow off steam and enjoy themselves. They all take off in different directions and mingle with the crowd.
Randy and I look throughout the vast lush grounds and I explain all the activities going on. I point out to him the Keeper that Mrs. Maybelle has hired. A Keeper is an angel whose job it is to secure animals long thought dead by humanity. Omnis pulls those animals out of circulation in order to make space for new ones. But if you have the money, you can hire a Keeper and he or she will come to your house with the animals of your choosing.
“That’s so freaking cool,” Randy says.
“Yeah, and it looks like Mrs. Maybelle has hired a Keeper with dinosaurs,” I reply.
Randy turns slowly and sees three “medium” sized dinosaurs with elongated necks and tails. There are dozens of kids around the animals. He’s torn between fear and fascination.
“Don’t worry, Randy. They’re all herbivores; they only eat plant life,” I assure him.
“I know what I want for my birthday!” Randy says, overjoyed. He then takes a closer look at what the kids are doing.
“Wait, are they face painting them?” he asks, baffled.
“Yeah, what else would you do with dinosaurs?” I ask.
“Um…ride them,” he says.
“Why would you ride dinosaurs when you have unicorns?” I reply, signaling to the half dozen stunning creatures across the yard from us.
“Unicorn rides? Man, I wish I knew you when you were a kid. I’d come to all your parties. I’d beg your parents to adopt me. In fact, I still might,” he jokes.
Although I am used to lavish parties in the Angel world, I must admit this one is better than any other I’ve been to. From the music, to the extensive food buffet, to the impeccable aerial decorations and entertainment, Mrs. Maybelle has done an amazing job.
She even arranged to have a Zipper; a Zipper is a Ferris wheel
that’s pretty much like the ones the humans have except for two things: one, it is not bound by gravity, and two, it has no visible attachments.
So when the kids step onto the spot on the ground marked “Zip,” they are suddenly lifted off the floor and hurled into midair with no visible means of support. Both angel and Quo kids love Zippers because they move in intricate patterns at top speed.
The kids on the Zipper shout gleefully as they wave their little arms and legs wildly in the air. The Zipper was my little brother, Sam’s favorite ride. He’d get on that thing for hours and refuse to go home. It always took a really big bribe to get him to get off the ride; that or a stern look from my mom.
I feel a sharp prick of longing for Sam. It starts in my soul and spreads throughout my body. I can’t articulate the sadness that comes even months after his passing. There hasn’t been a word invented to describe the loss I feel knowing he’s no longer here with me. It’s like waking up and finding that you have lost your arm. I love Sam so much; I keep thinking one day I will open my eyes and it won’t hurt anymore, but that’s just never going to happen.
Randy stands next to me and studies my face. He sees the sadness that replaces my smile as I look over at the kids on the Zipper. He takes my hand and kindly reminds me that I promised Mrs. Maybelle to have a good time.
“You’re right, sorry. It sneaks up on me sometimes,” I admit.
“I know, Carrot, but it’s okay to miss him. Sam was lucky he had you as a sister. And he knew that. He loved you,” Randy says as he leans into me.
“Thanks…hey, look over there,” I tell him.
Randy follows my gaze and finds pretty, bright smoke appearing in spots throughout the yard. Randy asks what the smoke is and I tell him to just watch. Suddenly the smoke forms into a waiter holding a tray of treats.
“What the hell?” Randy says.
“They are called Shadow Servants,” I reply, laughing.
Even after all that’s happened, Randy is still fascinated with the little aspects of the Angel world. I find that endearing. When a Shadow Servant appears before us, Randy helps himself to the snacks on her tray with a big smile. When the Shadow Servant disappears in a puff of smoke, Randy shakes his head in awe.
“That’s just so cool,” he says.
“Come on, Randy, I’ll introduce you to the Keeper,” I said.
“Um…I think someone wants to talk to you,” Randy replies as he looks out across the yard at the Noru leaning on a tree studying me intently.
Aaden’s eyes have laser focus—on me. It’s as if the hundreds of people around us don’t exist at all. I’m the only being he sees at the moment. The intensity of his heated gaze makes me forget what I was saying. It makes me forget how to flap my wings and how to blink my eyes. I have Aaden Case’s undivided attention.
“Have you guys talked at all since you’ve been back?” Randy asks.
“Um…yeah, when he was helping me get better and stuff,” I reply, unable to take my eyes from Aaden’s.
“That’s not what I mean. Have you guys actually discussed being together?” Randy pushes.
“We’ve been…busy,” I reply lamely.
“What the hell is it with you two? The only time you guys want to unite is when there’s some evil force forbidding it. Enough already. Everyone knows you want each other. Just go for it,” Randy says.
“I know. I just…”
“Just what?” Randy pushes.
“There’s so much that could go wrong with us,” I admit softly.
“If only you were a big, strong powerful angel and had a best friend who would be there for you no matter what the outcome is with Silver,” Randy says sarcastically.
I look over at him and smile back. I know he’s right. It’s time that Aaden and I talked for real. We’ve been hiding behind missions, ex girlfriends, duty, and charity. But the time has come. If Aaden and I are to be together, it’s now or never…
* * *
I look at him and without saying a word I head down the path that heads to Mrs. Maybelle’s elaborate garden just past the guesthouse. It’s my favorite place to go when I visit Mrs. Maybelle.
It has a small stone bridge with a koi pond filled with colorful fish. There’s a cascading waterfall that flows into the pond. The sound echoes in the still night and sings a peaceful lullaby to the garden and all its inhabitants. There are a million stars above me and the scent of night-blooming jasmine lingers in the air. The night is perfect. So perfect in fact, I almost feel bad for intruding on its unequivocal beauty.
“Hi,” he says simply.
I turn and find him standing behind me. His grey wings flap gracefully in the night air. He followed me just like I hoped he would.
“Hey,” I reply as a thousand butterflies take flight in the pit of my stomach.
“You missed it. Randy convinced the Keeper to let him ride one of the dinosaurs. He was on there for about three seconds before he was catapulted into the air.”
“Is he okay?” I ask.
“He’s fine. He landed in Mrs. Maybelle’s prized rose bushes, so she put him to work.”
“Doing what?”
“Thanks to Randy they are one dinosaur short, so the kids now have a new face to paint,” he says, smiling.
“Seriously?”
“A group of five-year-old Quo girls got their hands on him. He’s sporting sparkling lip gloss, red blush, and a long curly blonde wig to match.”
Aaden and I share a laugh at my wonderful best friend’s expense. It feels good to laugh and be silly with Aaden. We so rarely get to do that now. But years before, all we did was joke around and find ways to make each other laugh. I miss that. I miss him.
“Look, before when I said I didn’t care about you and Ruin…I did care…a lot,” I admit.
“I’m so glad,” he replies.
“You’re glad that I was pissed about the kiss?”
“Yeah, because it means that you care what I do and who I do it with.”
“Really?”
“Pry, kissing Ruin was a mistake on every level. I’ve been telling her that there’s nothing between us and then I go and kiss her. It was an asshole move—one that I don’t plan on repeating. Can we get past it?”
“I went through the hardest time in my life a few days ago and I don’t want to argue with anyone, especially you. I thought about all the times you and I wasted and I swore if I got the chance to see you again…yes, I can let the kiss go but I need to know that kiss was a onetime thing.”
“It was,” he replies.
“Fine, but it’s not just that. Why didn’t you tell me about Bex?”
He sighs and signals for me to follow him. We walk over to the bridge and stand in the middle, looking down at the gleaming water below. Aaden is quiet for a while. I don’t push him. Whatever he’s about to say is hard for him, judging by the dark expression on his face.
“When you were gone…it felt like The Center had taken me too. I felt like I was there in hell with you. And the only way I could function and stay focused was to compartmentalize. I had to put what Bex said in a box and push it to the back of my mind. But then when everything got back to normal, Bex’s words came back to me and…Pryor, I vowed I would never again let something stop me from being with you. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I feared you would go to him. And I don’t know how to deal with that.”
“Aaden, you can’t keep things from me.”
“I know. It was an asshole move and I’m sorry. But I need to know—do you have feelings for Bex?”
“That’s a complicated question,” I reply.
“Bullshit!” he snaps.
“Look, all this time Key and Bex have been together. They were the perfect couple: Romeo and freaking Juliet. Who’s gonna go to the trouble of falling for Romeo when he already has his Juliet?”
“Maybe you never thought about Bex in that way because he was taken, but now he’s not. So, now
is the time to think about it. Now answer the damn question. Do you have feelings for Bex?”
“Why are you yelling at me?”
“BECAUSE I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”
Shocked by his frank and frustrated outburst, I remain silent. He hangs his head in utter despair. Without looking up, he gathers the fabric of my shirt underneath his large hands. He then pulls me towards him, sighs, and bows his head. When he speaks again, his voice is vastly different. He’s not enraged. He’s exhausted and vulnerable.
“I want you, Pry. I want you so much. If you choose Bex…” His voice trails off.
A lump forms in my throat. I stroke his hair tenderly and whisper into his ear.
“I don’t know about Bex. Maybe there’s a little something there, like you said you have with Ruin. But at the end of the day, you are the angel I want. Aaden Case, how could you not see how much I love you?”
He finally looks up at me, puzzled and uncertain. I stand on the tips of my toes and place my arms around his neck.
“I’ve never stopped wanting you. Ever. You’re my only constant,” I say as I part his lips with mine. He kisses me back with hunger. Then he embraces me and lifts me off the ground. I squeal with joy, like a kid. Being in his arms feels as natural as flying. It’s where I belong. It’s where I have always belonged.
“Can you do something for me?” I ask, still in his embrace.
“Yes, I will do it,” he replies.
“You don’t even know what it is,” I remind him.
“I don’t care. I will do whatever you ask.”
“Okay, remember how you were my first kiss?” I ask playfully.
“Wait, was that you?” he teases.
“Ha, ha. Seriously, Aaden. I’m ready for another…first.”
I wait for him to say “no” yet again. The conversation he had with The Face really affected him. I’m afraid he’ll fight me on us making love. He won’t cave in until I’m sixteen or even seventeen.
Damn that old lady! I thought detention was the worst punishment she could inflict on me. Man was I wrong…
