I lean back, staring down at my hands in my lap as the bus comes to a stop, signaling for me to get off.
Standing up, I walk down the aisle, waving to the driver before jumping off the bus and heading past the shops of the small town. My eyes are on the shop windows that are displaying what you can buy inside when my gaze lands on a pair of boots. I halt, watching them in awe before walking toward the shop in a daze.
My hand lands on the glass as I stare at them, my breath fogging up the window. The black leather looks so soft and the buckles on the side are engraved with some kind of pattern. My eyes are full of hearts and I want nothing more than to buy them right now.
My hand hovers over the pocket in my jean shorts and I’m in the shop, trying them on and buying them before I can form a coherent thought.
I stare down at the bag and sigh as I walk out of the shop, turning right and hitting a hard wall.
“Shit, sorry,” I murmur, looking up at the wall that I walked into as something grips onto my biceps.
A slow smile spreads across his face, his honey eyes lighting up as his hands grip harder to steady me.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Evan says, letting go of my arms slowly, the pads of his fingers running down my forearms before he drops them by his sides.
“Hi.” I stare at him for several seconds, neither of us moving. “I just bought new boots.” I smile big and wide, bringing the bag up between us, causing him to dodge out of the way because I nearly smack him with it.
“Yeah?” he asks, looking down at the bag and then back up to my face.
“Mmmhmm.” I tilt my head to the side. “I just got off the bus from my parole meeting and heard something.” I bring the bag to my chest, hugging the box. “These boots were shouting my name, calling me and begging me to take them home.” I shrug. “I couldn’t say no, so I bought them.”
He grins down at me and I smile wide, showing him my teeth. We stand there, neither of us moving as we stare at each other. My feet are stuck to the ground and my eyes can’t move from his, being held captive.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he suddenly says, his grin dropping from his face, a serious look masking his eyes.
I know he’s referring to Monday when I hid from him at the community center, too embarrassed after our first meeting. I made a fool of myself, and I have no idea why. I’ve always been one to talk randomly, but he makes me nervous: more nervous that I’ve ever been.
I take a step back, my eyes finally able to drop from his as I look down at a crack in the sidewalk.
“I didn’t think you’d want to be associated with me.” I lift my eyes up to his. “You know, because of me just coming out of pri—”
“No.” His voice is deep and gruff and shocks the hell out of me. He shakes his head, pulling up his lips into a grin again, only this one looks forced and not the natural one he had only a few minutes ago. “I mean… you don’t have to avoid me.” His eyes search mine before wandering off over my head, lighting up at what he sees. “Come on.”
He takes my elbow in his hand, spinning me around and dragging me along with him. His strides are long and I practically have to run to keep up with him.
“What are you doing?” I gasp when he comes to a stop causing me to nearly collide with his back.
“We’re having milk and pie,” he states, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
I stare at him wide-eyed, wondering if he’s lost his mind. I’ve met him once and I was the most awkward person to ever exist and now he’s pulling me into a diner.
“Evan…”
He ignores me, winking at the waitress while he keeps his hand on my elbow, coming to a stop at one of the booths and tilting his head at the seat. “Sit, I’ll order pie.”
He turns around, heading to the counter while I stand stock still, watching him before my eyes take in the diner.
It’s small, only a few booths lining the wall of windows that look out onto the main road, along with a few tables scattered in between them and the counter. The counter has black leather stools that sit on silver colored poles, people digging into food and drinking coffee.
I swallow, hating that I’m in a new place. Livvy has been with me each time I come to town, and I feel safe with her, not that I don’t feel safe with Evan. It’s just… I don’t know him, and he makes me feel out of control of my own emotions.
My gaze swings from the booth to the door we walked in, wondering if I can run out of here and him not notice. My flight instincts are kicking in but my feet won’t move.
“Don’t look so scared,” he whispers in my ear. My gaze snaps up to his, seeing the sincerity in his eyes; I know he won’t hurt me but I can’t help the way I want to escape.
“I-I—”
“Sit down, eat some pie.” He shrugs.
I bite on my bottom lip, closing my eyes before scooting into the booth and placing my new boots next to me. “Okay.” I take a deep breath, willing myself to act normal and not make a fool out of myself again.
He sits opposite me, his eyes not moving from mine as he cocks his head to the side, watching me and waiting. I don’t know what he’s waiting for, but when two plates with pie and two glasses of milk are set in front of us, he finally looks away.
Picking up the fork with shaking hands, I break off a little pie and bring it to my mouth, moaning at the apple and blackberry fruits that are encased in sweet pastry.
“Good, huh?”
He’s already demolished half of his pie and is picking up his milk. His eyes close as he swallows and I can’t help but wonder if there’s something magical about the milk, so I pick mine up and take a small sip.
Wow. So milk and pie go together like peanut butter and jelly. You learn something new every day.
“So, Lexi… tell me about yourself.”
I swallow, the glass of milk suspended in midair. “I… erm... What?”
He chuckles, finishing the last of his pie. “This isn’t an interrogation, I just want to know more about you. I mean, we are going to be working at the community center together.”
I narrow my eyes, placing the glass down and looking down at the pie. “There’s not much to know.” I shrug. “You know I just got out of…” I look around, lowering my voice. “Prison.”
He lays his hands down flat on the table and I can’t help but stare at his long fingers, the way they drum softly on the white plastic that is covering the surface.
“There’s more to you than that, Lexi.”
I shake my head. “There really isn’t.”
“Hmmm.” I look back up at him, seeing something in his eyes that I can’t work out. “What about the tats?”
I look down at the ink on my arms, not really wanting to talk about me. “They’re nothing.”
“See.” He leans closer. “I don’t think that’s true.”
I bite my lip again as his scent washes over me, breathing in lungsful of air. “I got them while I was inside.” I pause, wondering how much I should say. “People think that when you’re inside that you can’t get a hold of anything, when it’s actually the opposite. There’s so much offered to you inside those walls. Drugs, tattoos, gangs, weapons. It’s the same as outside, only you’re trapped with it all in one place and not able to escape.”
I bring my gaze back up to his, waiting for him to say something but when he doesn’t, I continue, “The first one I got was this.” My fingers skim over the flower on my arm. “My gran… she loved flowers, it made me think of her.”
My throat closes up as I think of Gran and the flowers she tended to every day no matter how much pain she was in. They were her pride and joy.
“Do you still see her? Your gran?”
“No.” I shake my head, tears starting to form in my eyes and making him blurry. “She died while I was… inside.”
The air crackles with tension as we’re both silent. I feel exposed, like he can see everything with only one look in my eyes. I don’t like the feeling of not
being able to hide from someone. I became good at making myself invisible, but right now I feel like I’m naked.
I dip my gaze from his, needing a reprieve. I can’t stop the snort that breaks free as my eyes land on the writing that’s on his t-shirt. “Home is where the Wi-Fi is.”
“Nice shirt.” I smirk, bringing my gaze back up to his.
His eyes widen, his body deflating and leaning against the back of the booth as he stares at me like I have three heads. “Really? You like it?”
I frown, tilting my head to the side. “Yeah, it’s funny.”
“Huh.” He stares at me for another beat before he shakes his head. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” I look up at the time on the clock on the wall and push the rest of my pie away, grabbing my bag. “I have to get back, I have work in a couple of hours.”
Standing up, I hesitate, not knowing what to do or say. He reaches for the pie, pointing at it with his fork.
“You can have my pie.” My eyes widen so much I’m sure they’re going to pop out of my head as my cheeks heat. “I meant… I… I… ugh!” I throw my hands up in the air, the bag hitting me in the shoulder.
He laughs so loud that everyone turns to stare at us, making a blush spread over my chest. I take two steps away from him before he says, “See you on Friday, Lexi.”
I throw my hand up over my shoulder, practically running out of the door and down the street, heading home.
I squeeze my eyes shut as the shower curtain is pulled back, knowing instinctively that she’s finally come for me.
I’ve only been here for eight weeks, but from the moment Dee Dee set her eyes on me, I knew that she had a problem with me: that nothing good would come from the way she stared at me.
It’s a big change coming from juvie to being in a women’s prison. Simple things like trying to figure out the hierarchy here become complicated and at times, dangerous. You just have to keep your head down and not give anybody the chance to come at you or single you out.
My first mistake was looking Dee Dee in the eyes, my second was sitting in a chair that she deemed off-limits from the time my ass touched the plastic seat.
“Time’s up,” she whispers.
I open my eyes, trying my hardest not to look into her dark-brown, evil eyes as the water cascades down my body. I see the sneer that lifts up the corner of her lips and then my eyes avert to behind her where Sheila and Taz are standing.
I don’t know who I’m scared of most; all I know is that my exit is blocked and there’s no way that I’m going to get away without being hurt.
“I—”
“Ah ah ah,” Dee Dee says, stepping forward and pressing her finger to my mouth as she trails her other hand over my chest and squeezes, making me wince in pain.
My breath stutters in my chest as the other two step forward, shutting the curtain behind them and effectively blocking us from any prying eyes. Not that anyone would say anything; after all, they don’t want to be on the other end of their rage.
I feel something cold touch my face and I recoil from it, but it doesn’t stop, and when I look down, I see that it’s a homemade shank, a small razor blade melted onto the end of a toothbrush.
Taz trails it down the side of my neck, over my shoulder and down my side; all the while Dee Dee squeezes my breasts and holds me in place.
I shoot up in bed, my head snapping side to side as the memory fizzles out of my brain, my whole body covered in sweat and my hand holding onto my side.
I lift my tank top up, running my finger over the five-centimeter vertical, silver scar that runs down my side, joining to a horizontal scar. T… for Taz.
She marked me, made me effectively hers.
Ever since that day, I’ve kept my head down but also been a punching bag for her. I thought it was Dee Dee that was the head of their little gang; how wrong I was. It was actually Taz; she’d sit on the sidelines, able to see things from a different perspective and work out who was loyal to her and who wasn’t. The only people who knew she was actually the head were me, Dee Dee, and Sheila.
My breaths start to slow as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the memories. I’m not there now, I’m out of that place, trying to build a new life. They can’t get me here now: none of them can.
I say it like a chant in my head until the buzzing sound in my ears stops and my breathing is back to normal.
All I want is to have one night of sleep where I don’t wake up having relived one of the memories that happened in that place. I need to find my own identity, to become something—someone.
The job at the community center is something that I enjoy, I like having someone trust me to be there on my own, but it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to be able to help people. In what way I don’t know yet, but I’m sure my path will show itself sooner or later. I hope.
I pull back the covers, planting my feet on the floor and pushing up, stretching my arms over my head and releasing all of the tension that is flowing through me.
“Lexi? Is that you?”
“Yeah.” I step forward and pull the door to my bedroom open and see Livvy standing there, a worried look on her face.
“You okay, lovely?”
“I—Yeah, I’m good.” I plaster a smile on my face.
Her eyes flit between mine, probably knowing that I’m lying but she won’t ask me about it. She’s gotten used to my weird behavior these last few weeks and I’m sure she thinks I’ll open up to her at some stage. I won’t though. I don’t want her to know who I am, what I’ve done; especially inside those walls.
She shakes her head and waves her arm for me to follow her. I head down the hallway to the last door on the right and into the kitchen. The pine wooden doors that sit on the units make the kitchen feel warm, that coupled with the large pine bench that she uses as a kitchen table.
I sit down and she places a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. “You didn’t have to—”
“Shush, child.” She chuckles and then hands me a glass of OJ and sits opposite me. “I wanted to. Now you just eat and get some energy, I need you to run me some errands today.”
I look up at her, a frown on my face. This last week her joints have gotten worse; she suffers from arthritis and some days she can hardly move, whereas others she’s on the go nonstop. Today looks like one of those days where she’s struggling.
“You shouldn’t have cooked this if you’re not feeling good,” I admonish her.
“It may have taken me twice as long, but if you’re going to be running errands for me, then it’s the least I can do.”
I blow out a breath. “You can’t tell you anything, you know that?”
“I know,” she answers, a mischievous grin on her face. “It’s the rebel in me.”
I laugh as she winks at me and pick up a piece of candied bacon, moaning when it touches my tongue, exploding over my taste buds and creating a party in my mouth.
I sit in silence for the next ten minutes, savoring every bite while Livvy makes a list of errands that she needs done.
“I’ll go and get ready then,” I tell her, carrying my plate and glass over to the sink, rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher afterward.
“Okay, lovely. I’ll still be sitting here.” She winces and I can’t stop my stomach from dipping. I saw the same thing happen to my gran, only she didn’t have the meds that Livvy does. It all seems like déjà vu; it’s all too real and it starts to choke me.
I can’t be here, I can’t think of my gran.
I need to block it all out and concentrate on getting ready and going out to run these errands, not thinking about a past that I can’t change. No matter how much I wish that I could.
I run down as fast as I can; the circulation in my hands being cut off from the heaviness of the bags. My Chucks slap against the sidewalk as sweat pours down the middle of my back: I can only imagine how red my face is right now.
After running errands for Livvy
all day, I missed the bus and had to wait for the next one which has now made me late: I have fifteen minutes to get back, change clothes, and then make my way to the community center. I can’t be late.
“Whoa there!” Hands cup my upper arms as I start to stumble and I gasp, looking up into Mal’s light-brown eyes. “Where’s the fire?”
“I—” I take gasps for breaths; trying to talk when you’re out of breath is almost impossible. “Livvy—bad day... errands... missed bus... late for work.”
He nods at my scattered words, seeming to understand exactly what I’m saying.
“The community center?” he asks, letting me go and taking the bags out of my hands.
“Erm… yeah. What are you doing?” I ask, frowning down at his hands now but also shaking my fingers out at the relief of them not digging into my hands anymore.
“Helping you.” He shrugs and crosses the road, me following at his heels, confused.
“But—”
“You head in and get changed, you don’t want to be working in those sweaty clothes.” He chuckles to himself as he walks up the path to Livvy’s house and opens up the door.
“Lexi? Is that you? I was wondering where you…” She stops as she sees Mal, and I pop my head to the side so that she can see me.
“She missed the bus,” Mal answers, walking through the living room and into the kitchen.
“Oh no.” Livvy’s face drops. “You only have ten minutes to get to work.”
“I know!” I shout back to her as I run down the hallway and into my room, pulling my clothes off and grabbing some cleans ones before shooting into the bathroom to freshen up.
Three minutes later I’m ready to start the run to the community center.
“Hold up there, pretty lady!” Mal shouts as I pass the kitchen and shout bye.
“Huh?”
“I’ll give you a ride, I’m heading that way anyway.”
I stand still and frown, looking from him to Livvy, wondering if she asked him to take me. She must see it on my face because she holds her hands up in the air. “I didn’t ask.”
ReBoot (MAC Security Series Book 4) Page 8
