My body was heated, my pulse spiked to the point of discomfort, but like any good actress, I put on a mask and made it through dinner.
"You ready?" He smiled and got up, moving around to help me out of my chair.
"Absolutely. That was fantastic." I took his hand and moved behind him out of the restaurant. It was comical how many times I heard his name whispered as we moved out the back door and back into the sand.
"We should practice your kissing scene with Mr. Less-than-Confident. That way when you go to do it, you can close your eyes and see me instead." He kept my hand tightly in his.
Indecision tore up my insides on whether to pull it from him, or just go with the flow.
"Why do you need fans when you have yourself?" I laughed and pulled him to a stop. I tugged my hand from his and reached down to undo my sandals. He snagged them from me and gripped my hand again.
"I like how confident you are... you don't like that about me?" He glanced down at me and the world seemed to stop. I was in trouble. So much trouble, not because of who he was, but the simple power he had over me.
"I like a lot of things about you," I whispered and released his hand to jog down the beach. "Come on, old man. Catch up."
"You know this should be a scene in a movie." He jogged behind me. "Except you should be running toward me, not away from me."
I laughed and let the warmth of the ocean breeze race over my skin, taking me away to a place where everything was all right. I didn't have to pretend to be or not be anyone. I could just let myself go and enjoy life for the moment.
"This isn't a movie." I turned and lifted my arms to the side as I panted softly. "It's real life. It's a good life. It's the life I want."
"You're making me want it." He tossed my shoes to the side and pulled his shirt over his shoulders, tossing it too.
"Ethan. What are you doing?" I reached out to stop him from crashing into me.
"Taking what I want." His mouth covered mine as he wrapped his arms around me tightly and took me down to the sand below.
I groaned and pressed my foot into the wet sand to roll us. "No. Honestly. I won't be able to survive you."
"Is it my size?" His eyes filled with worry as he lay beneath me on the sand. The moon left the scene far too romantic.
"What? No." I leaned down and ran my fingers through the top of his hair before kissing him again.
He rolled us and pressed me to the cold earth below, licking and sucking at my mouth before moving down to press his teeth against the side of my neck.
"Come to bed with me. Let me make you feel things you could only dream of." His breath was hot against my ear, his body so big and solid against mine. I felt protected, desired, beloved. It was a lie, but I wanted to drown in it as long as I could.
"I can't," I whispered and opened my legs farther as he reached down and pulled my skirt up my legs. He shifted his hips and ground against me as we both groaned loudly.
"Yeah, you can, Riley. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm an asshole to almost everyone else, but I wouldn't do that to you. Let's try each other out and if it doesn't work, go back to Jace, but if we end up being everything I know we could be... fuck." He licked my ear and moved up to press his lips back against mine.
I tilted my head a little and opened up, letting him in deeply as he aggressively rocked against me and made love to my mouth. I'd never felt so much passion. The buildup was orgasmic alone.
"Let me in," he murmured against my mouth and slid his hands around my hips to grip my ass tight as he squeezed and licked at the soft skin under my ear. "I want deep inside of you, Riley. Don't deny me. You don't want to."
And I didn't. Not in the slightest.
I cried out as his fingers slipped into the bottom of my panties and brushed by my sex. I knew how sloppy wet I was, but embarrassment wouldn't come.
"So wet. I knew you wanted me too." He sucked my earlobe into his mouth and petted me softly as he grunted and rocked into me.
I would never have believed in a million years that I'd be on a beach pressed beneath Ethan Lewis had someone told me that was the future. Never. It was a dream come true, and yet nightmares played behind my eyes.
"Ethan." I panted against the salty skin of his neck. "Not here."
"No?" He moved back and pushed against the sand to sit up on his knees. "Come to my room then."
"You know this isn't going to end well."
He stood and pulled me up before picking me up. I yelped and smacked him in the chest.
"It's going to end with both of us coming like fountains. I'm thinking that's the goal in sex, right?" He kissed me again as my body purred for him.
"Yeah. That's the goal." I touched the side of his face and shifted to kiss him again.
He got us inside and set me down outside of his room. We were covered in sand and salt water, both looking like hell, and yet neither of us cared.
I slid my hands around his waist and cupped his cock, stroking him hard as I pressed my breasts against his back and my teeth into the thick meat of his back.
"I want you so goddamn bad my hands are shaking." He laughed before moaning and fumbling with the lock on the door.
"Me too. Hurry the hell up." I cupped his balls and licked up his spine as something burst open inside of me. I was giving myself to him and whatever the fallout looked like... fuck it. I would deal with it.
"There." He opened the door and turned to grab me, pulling me roughly against him as someone else grabbed me from behind.
"Hey. Sorry kids." Frank.
It was as if I'd been dunked in ice water. I yelped and moved into the room behind Ethan. My white dress was translucent at that point, and there wasn't much to hide.
"What the fuck, Frank? Get out, dude. Shit." Ethan was hot. Pissed in a way I wasn't sure I was comfortable with.
"I'm sorry. Seriously, but Riley left her cell phone here earlier. It's been going off nonstop. It's from LA. Just check it and make sure everything is okay." He handed it to Ethan and walked off.
"Here. Check it out while I run us some bath water. I wanna wash you up before I take my time getting intimate with every inch of you." He touched the side of my face and leaned down to kiss me hard once.
I breathed him in and moved back as he ducked into the bathroom.
The calls were from Charlotte. What the hell could be so important to blow up my phone over and over again?
I listened to them as each one got more frantic. I dropped down on the bed and pressed the phone to my ear as my heart beat so hard I grew faint. The last one was enough to make my food finish its trip up my chest and force me to run for the toilet to lose my dinner. I had to get home. Now.
The sound of her voice echoed in the bathroom around me as Ethan's strong hands pulled my hair from my face. He whispered words of comfort, but I couldn't seem to hear or feel anything other than her voice in my ear as the last message played over the speakerphone.
"Riley! Pick up the goddamn phone. Pick up." Crying. So much sobbing. Heart wrenching sobs. "It's your mom. She's... she's been in an accident. I'm at the hospital, Riley. I need you to get home. I don't know what to do." She sobbed a little more before the sound of muffled voices filled the line and Charlotte's soft scream bled into another round of sobs. "Oh fuck. She didn't make it. Riley. You need to come home. Your mom... your mom didn't make it."
To be continued…
Understudy
Chapter 1
Riley
She didn't make it.
The truth of my reality played through my mind over and over as I sat in a coach seat on the quickest flight I could get back to Los Angeles. My fingers were sore from my picking at them, my fidgeting having quickly gotten out of control.
I'd barely had time to change into something more appropriate for being seen in public before racing off to find Frank with Ethan trailing behind me. He wanted to come with me, but they wouldn't let him. It was better this way. I didn't need to try and hold myself together in the fac
e of yet another loss in my life. I would have tried with him there, but that wasn't fair to me, or my mother. No matter how many battles we had fought between the two of us, to lose her was devastating.
"Coffee miss?" A flight attendant leaned down and gave me a warm smile.
I nodded, unable to muster more than a soft murmur, "Please."
"You're shivering. Should I get you a blanket as well?" She stood back up and waited on my reply, but I wasn't quite sure why she thought I needed to cover up.
I glanced down and brushed my hands over my dark blue shirt. The translucent white dress I had on while playing in the surf with Ethan was in a heap in my room in Rio. Why the blanket?
"No, thank you though. How far are we from landing? I need to get to the hospital." I started to fidget again, ignoring the pain in my fingers as I picked at my cuticles and watched her intently.
"We're about thirty minutes out. You should rest." She patted my shoulder. "I'll get you something warm to drink and a blanket."
I nodded, not having the energy or the strength to question her. Jace or Charlotte would be at the airport to pick me up, even though it was four in the morning. The red eye flight was my only chance to get back to L.A. and try and see my mother before something horrible happened.
She didn't make it.
The nagging voice in my head continued to whisper the worlds of finality, but I ignored them. She'd been in an accident, and I would get a chance to see her while the doctors were working on her. Any other reality and I might lose myself in the darkness that hovered around me.
"Everything is fine," I whispered and glanced over toward the older gentleman sleeping next to me. "My mom's going to be okay. She's just been in an accident and they'll fix her up. She's the strongest person I know. She's the last of us. Just me and her. Darek died in a drive-by and left us. She wouldn't leave me. Plain and simple."
I yelped as someone touched my shoulder and turned to see the flight attendant watching me with sadness on her face.
"You okay?" She extended the coffee toward me.
"Of course." I tried to force a smile, but couldn't seem to get my cheeks to move.
"Here you go, dear. We'll be there in a few minutes. Just hold tight." She handed me a paper napkin and turned to walk back down the aisle.
"What's this for?" I called after her. The grumbling next to me let me know that I'd been a little bit louder than I thought with my question.
She glanced over her shoulder and tilted her head a little. "For your tears, dear."
***
I didn't remember getting on the plane, or flying across the ocean or getting off. I woke up with Charlotte clinging to the front of me, and Jace standing back, his face completely void of color.
"Hey. What's up?" I glanced around as I put my hands on Charlotte's shoulders and pulled away from her. "What's wrong with you?"
We were in the baggage claim area at LAX airport. The people around us weren't being subtle at all as they looked my way, their eyes wide with a morbid curiosity.
"Riley. Are you okay?" Charlotte gripped my shoulders as Jace moved closer and touched the side of my face.
"She's in shock, Char. Leave her alone." He gripped my hand and pulled me toward the turnstile as bags started to roll out of the opening a few feet from us. His arms felt good around me, his cologne familiar and delicious. "We're going to grab your stuff and take you home, all right, babe?"
"Home?" I wrapped my arms around him, which seemed to be the only available option seeing how close he was standing to me.
"Yeah. We'll explain everything when we get there, all right?" He leaned down and kissed the side of my forehead, squeezing me tightly against his strong frame.
I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek to his chest, trying to remember what part of the last twenty-four hours had been real and which were the remnants of a nightmare. Ethan and I had finally agreed to move from being co-workers into something more like friends with benefits, but...
"There's her bag." Charlotte moved past us and pulled the bag from the turnstile as I stepped back from Jace and took a deep breath. Why was I here? Surely things would start to make sense soon.
Had I been fired from the movie? Was the filming over? No. It had only begun.
"Everything is so foggy. It's weird." I ran my hands up the sides of my face and glanced down toward the ground. "I remember being in Rio and playing in the rain with Ethan. We were heading back in and Frank grabbed me, shocking me a little."
"Come on. Let's get her to the car." Jace wrapped his arm around my shoulders and moved us through the light crowd toward the exit. "She's in shock."
"Shock about what?" I snorted and slid my arm around the back of his waist. "I'm good. I just must have fallen asleep in Rio and not really woken up yet. You know, like when you get in your car and you're stupid tired, but you still drive somewhere. Then you get there and basically wake up, and think, 'how the fuck did I get here'?"
"Shit. This is bad." Charlotte moved up on my other side and gave me a sad look. "You don't remember getting my phone call?"
"About what?" I glanced between her and Jace as my stomach started to turn. Panic raced up the center of my chest and left me a little lightheaded as we finally made it to Charlotte's car. She got in the front and after muscling my suitcase into the trunk, Jace helped me into the backseat and moved in beside me.
"About your mom, baby." Jace pulled me toward him and snuggled me like he used to when we were kids - when we thought we might actually be in love.
I snorted. What a fucking joke that was. We were nothing but sex buddies, but I had no complaints. He was Channing Tatum's body double, only a little taller and a whole hell of a lot more cocky. His blue eyes held no hint of the playfulness that they usually did as I turned my head to glance up at him.
"What's going on with my mom, Jace? Stop dicking around and someone help me fill in the gaps. I don't remember anything." I curled up against his chest, but kept my eyes fully on him.
"I will. When we get to the apartment, okay?" He kissed the tip of my nose. "How was the filming going? You didn't let Mr. Rich-britches take advantage of you?"
"I was going to, but Charlotte called about my mom being in an-" All the air in my lungs left in a soft scream. Memories rushed back in, slapping me around as I tightened my grip on Jace. "I need to get to the hospital. I need to go now!"
Charlotte glanced back with tears running down her face. "It's too late now, Riley. I called at eight last night."
Her sobs drove despair deep inside of me. My mom was gone. I'd known that back in Brazil. Jace rubbed the side of my face and whispered soft words that I couldn't make out, but I was too overwhelmed to really try.
How could my mom have died? "What happened? Tell me what happened, Charlotte."
I pulled from Jace and popped the headrest next to my friend as sadness bled to anger. Why did I keep losing people I loved? Was it my fault? I knew my mother was hanging out with the wrong people, but I'd done nothing about it. I was still pissed at her for losing the house and giving away half of my shit, which she promised she'd dropped off at Charlotte's.
Charlotte yelped and jumped, pulling the car to the side as she did. "Stop it!"
"Hey. Get back here." Jace gripped me tightly again and pulled me into the backseat, wrapping his arms around my chest and his legs around mine to hold me in place. "Just relax against me. Char and I are here to take care of you. Let us."
"I want to know what the fuck happened, and I wanna know now." I turned and narrowed my eyes at him. "Now, Jace Dillon, and don't you fucking lie to me."
"Your mom was in a car accident, Riley. We don't know much, but the guy driving the car was loaded up on cocaine and your mom was full of the shit too. They hit another car on Pacific Coast Highway. I have no clue where they were going, or what they were up to, but the lady in the other car died on impact, as did the sorry bastard driving your mom around."
Charlotte stopped the car and turned around to f
ace me. "They took her to the hospital to try and save her, but she had a head injury that didn't give them much hope. They called the house and I rushed up there after calling you and then Jace. He came right away. It was... it was so horrible."
Jace reached for the door. "She's in a better place now, baby. I know it's going to be hard-"
"How do you know where she went?" I tried to pull away from him with no avail. "What if she went to hell? What if she went nowhere? What if she's trapped in her body forever?"
"Awww... Fuck." He opened the door and manhandled me out of it, picking me up and carrying me up the stairs to the apartment as I flailed against him. Something about being able to stand on my own two feet seemed so important in the moment.
"I'll get the door." Charlotte moved around us and opened the door as I continued to fight.
"Let me go. I need to get to the hospital. She's not here at the apartment. Let me go!"
"I'll take her to the bedroom. Get a glass of water and some sleeping pills if you have any." He reached up to grab my hand and yank it off the doorframe as I latched onto it and pulled from him. My legs gave out underneath me as I sunk toward the ground.
"I have to go up there, Jace. Don't you understand?"
He knelt in front of me and touched the side of my face. "She's not there, baby. She's gone now."
"But I didn't get to say goodbye, or that I'm sorry." My voice broke as a long sob left me. "I need to say I'm sorry."
"For what, Ri? For what, baby?" He picked me up and held me like someone might a two-year-old child.
"For not being enough after Darek. If I'd been enough she wouldn't have turned to her drugs and her old ways. She would have fought against it for me. She would still be here."
"That's not true and you know it." He kicked the door open to my bedroom and moved us up onto the bed as memories doused me in darkness.
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