"It's on Thursday at two p.m. at St. Mary's downtown." I brushed my hair back from my face. "Did you guys bring someone else in to help with the filming in Rio?"
"No. We're going to reschedule. We did a little more work with Ethan, but we'll be fine. We're not replacing you or bringing in anyone. It's your part, and since you aren't playing nearly as much as he is, we can work around you being off as long as you need to."
"I won't be off too long. I just need a week or so to get myself together. My exams are coming up at school and I need to pop in to rehearse a few times before the spring play for the drama department, but if you don't want me to still do that, I can-"
"No. I want you to do everything we discussed. I know getting this role means a lot to you, but you've been working on your degree for a long time. Finish it. I know that would help make you feel more stable. You've signed a contract with Eon, but remember... they signed one with you too. They can't replace you without due cause, and you've not given them anything near that. Take the time you need and we'll all be waiting for you with bated breath to return to us."
"That means so much to me." I stood up and set my coffee down on my dresser. "I know it's silly, but how is Ethan? I honestly expected him to call and check on me. He was so upset the night I left when you guys wouldn't let him come with me. I-"
There was no way I could finish the sentence. I needed him? I miss him? I want to hear his voice? All of those things were fairy tales living in the heart of a little girl that needed to grow up. Life wasn't made of glass slippers and dancing until midnight. It was hard and it fucking hurt most days of the week. Why get involved with someone that would never be the man I needed him to be. As unfair as I was being about it all, it was necessary. I had to protect myself. My brother was dead. My mother too. Who was next?
"He's doing good. His same moody self."
I was grateful that she took back over the conversation and saved me from letting my emotions run all over the place. I was hurting because of losing my mom, which opened me up to be more honest and straight forward about Ethan than was healthy.
"That's good." I pursed my lips and dropped back down on the side of my bed. "Did Frank tell you that he found us together the other night?"
"Yeah. He's not nearly as worried about the two of you spending time together, and where I think you would be the perfect woman in Ethan's life, this isn't his life we're talking about. It's your life and both of your careers. He's got some serious growing up to do, and if something were to happen between the two of you, something bad, where would we be?"
"I don't know." I pressed my face against my free hand and closed my eyes. "When I'm with him, I'm... lost."
"I get that. I promise. When I'm around Darren it's hard to breathe. Everything about the man turns me on. I can see our future together like someone painted the various scenes in an art gallery, but life isn't going to follow that path just because I yearn for it. We were good when we were good, but now... it's painful. I don't want that for you guys. It's not just your hearts that would be broken, Riley. It's your careers, and that's all the two of you have right now. You need to invest yourself fully in becoming the Riley Phillips. You know what I'm saying, right?"
"Yeah." I forced myself to sound more content than I was. "I understand completely, and I agree. I'll start focusing on the only constant in my life... my talent."
"There's my girl! I'll see you on Thursday. If you need anything at all, just call me. I'm here one hundred percent for you."
"Thanks, D." I hung up the phone and laid back on the bed. Was she there for me, or for my talent? Did I really care which? No. Having a friend in the midst of my loss was more important than mulling over why she was my friend in the first place.
And friends told the truth most of the time. Even when the shit hurt. Ethan was perfect for me... in another life, but not in this one. Time to try and pull back a little and reestablish the boundaries between us. I just hoped like hell I had the strength to do it. Something told me I didn't, nor would I ever.
"I mean really... he is the Ethan Lewis."
Chapter 4
Ethan
I was itching for release. It was selfish and stupid considering all that Riley was going through, but after taking the pretty Brazilian girl back to my room the night before, I couldn't go through with it. We drank the whole bottle of Jack, and I'd kissed her a few times, but fuck if I couldn't go through with having sex with her. She was breathtaking and yet I felt nothing. Not a damn thing.
Deza almost seemed relieved earlier that morning to get rid of me, but I couldn't blame her. I was in cock-head mode, or so she called it. Nothing mattered and everything agitated me. I'd barked in her face more than once that I would be great if they would just butt out of my freaking private life. It was none of her damn business who I was sleeping with.
We argued the whole sixteen hours home off and on. She would finally bury her face in a magazine or talk to Frank or sleep a little. It was the only break I gave her, and though I hated myself for being a jerk about it, I had no choice. It was my life and they were acting like Eon fucking owned me. I'd overheard her talking to Riley earlier in the day and wanted to yank the phone from her ear, but decided not to resort to being a five-year-old spoiled brat. Seven years old was my limit.
Paul's voice caught my attention as we stood beside the last gate we'd have to go through for the day. Our final flight was delayed.
"So you want me in the studio later this week? Are we expecting Riley to be back or is she-"
"She's out for the rest of the week. I'm hoping she'll feel up to coming in next week, but we'll see." Deza glanced over at Frank as I stood there awkwardly. "Are you going with me tomorrow?"
"To the funeral?" he asked, glancing up from his phone.
"Yeah. It's tomorrow at St. Mary's. I'll look up the other details when we get back into Los Angeles. I want to send her flowers from Eon and me too."
"That sounds nice. I'd like to chip in." Paul lifted his hand as if to catch their attention.
"Me too," I mumbled and glanced over my shoulder at the sound of my name being called over and over. A group of women were jogging toward us. "Oh for fuck’s sake. This is why I hate taking commercial airplanes."
"I understand." Deza moved out in front of me to stop the women. "We didn't have much of a choice. Frank."
"She's right. The private jet was being used by an Eon executive." He walked past me and put his phone up. "You sure you don't have it in you to at least smile and shake a few hands?"
"And hug a few necks and sign a few tits. No. I'm tired and want to get my ass home." I walked past Paul, who had a look of sympathy on his face. It was hidden behind his scruffy beard, but I'd seen it multiple times from the guy over the years. He seemed more connected with how shitty the life of a movie star could be. Far more than anyone else I'd ever met. I'd have to find out why that was when I was up to talking. No one deserved the punishment of having to converse with me seeing that I was in a horrible mood.
I pulled out my phone and checked for a call or text from Riley, getting nothing of course. It was me who was supposed to call, but I couldn't muster the courage. She didn't need to hear from me. She had Jace and Jade or Charlotte, whatever the cute blond was going by now. A smile lifted my lip at the thought of her introducing her best friend to me. Charlotte had been a bundle of nerves, a class-A stalker, but Riley... she'd been cool, calm, collected. She hadn't seem bothered by me in the slightest.
And yet she was wet. Each time she let me near her to touch her beautiful body... she was wet. She needed me like I needed her. Maybe her reasons were different, but we were so fucking close the other night. I wanted to call. To offer myself to her. Maybe all she needed was someone to drown her in pleasure, to hear that she was beautiful and loved.
"Liked. That you like her," I barked at the emptiness around me. I wasn't in love with her, but the idea of one day being there left my hands clammy, my insides tight and mind racing in a
million directions. She was far too much woman for me outside of the bedroom. Inside of it, I could hold my own and show her a few things that might make her pretty head spin, but outside of it? She was mature, educated and knew how to get what she wanted in life.
I was the same as I'd always been. Pretending to be whoever they wanted me to be at the time they wanted it. After glancing up at the departing time above me, I pulled out my phone and called my brother, Liam. I had twenty minutes before we boarded for our last leg of the trip, and I wasn't going to sit and stew in my own shit while we waited. My brother was an idiot and a half and could pull me out of almost any funk. It was his superpower. That and tricking beautiful women into loving him. Why, I had no clue. He was a dick and a half, and used women like most people used Kleenex.
"Brosky!" Liam's voice filled up the phone, the sound of it causing warmth to spread through me.
"Sup, man?" I sat down in the chair next to me and glanced around.
"Nothing much man. Just still at the fucking office. Where are you? Still in Rio?"
"Nope. We're headed home. Something came up with Riley's mom. She had to run back to L.A., so we wrapped up what we could and are about to get on our last flight this afternoon."
"Awww... that sucks. How much longer you got?"
"Couple of hours." I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned back in the chair. "I need to forget this chick, but every time I close my eyes, she's there. It's like she's the one woman in the world Deza and Frank don't want me with, which leaves me wanting to fuck the world and take her to the top of a tall building."
"Like fucking King-Kong. I love that. You could have them create your next blockbuster hit. King-dong." He snorted as I rolled my eyes.
"Awesome. I knew talking to you would make me feel better. Later, ass-clown." I started to hang up as he yelled into the phone.
"Ethan. Come on, dude. Don't be sensitive. You know I'm fucking around."
"Yeah, whatever. I'm not in the mood."
"Well what are you in the mood for? I got this girl over who's just your type. Dark hair and big tits. She's a friend of a friend. I've not slept with her yet because she's applying for a job at my company, but I think you and her could make some magic."
"What's her name?" I didn't give a shit about her or her name. I needed to break the pattern of returning back to Riley in my mind every chance I got, but other than that, I couldn't pass up the idea of a release.
"Izabella." He emphasized the l's in the girl’s name.
I chuckled. "I could use some magic in my life. How old is she? The last time you set me up with someone, she was a cougar."
"I can't help that you're still ten in your head. She wasn't that old, and you enjoyed her anyway, didn't you?"
"I can't deny that." I brushed my fingers by my mouth, half expecting my cock to twitch over the images running through my head, but nothing. Frustration pumped through me.
I was determined to get over Riley and to stop acting like a horny schoolboy around her. It wasn't worth my career. She wasn't worth my career. Fuck, nothing was. It defined me. It was me.
"You want me to run her over to your place and hang out until you get there? I'm sure she would be more than willing to spread her pretty bronze-colored thighs for you and let you dip your stick into her honey pot."
I glanced up as Deza motioned for me to come and join them. I was antsy over having to ride on a commercial plane where every one of the passengers, the flight attendants and even the fucking pilots knew my name.
"You're such an idiot." I shook my head as I stood up. "Yeah, bring her over. I'll text you if I change my mind."
"Good. Don't change it. You need this. She's exactly what turns you on."
"And you know this how?"
"I grew up with you. Those fucking posters are in the attic, remember?" He chuckled.
"I want them back. Those girls were my childhood." I walked toward Deza. "Gotta go. See you later."
"Be safe, Bro. I'll have a treat waiting on you later tonight."
"Awesome." I hung up and walked toward the group of familiar faces.
Frank reached out and wrapped his big arm around my shoulders. "You planning your return tonight?"
"Always, man. I'm young, dumb and full of hormones. We can't leave anything up to chance."
I didn't even want to know what Deza's snort was about as she turned and boarded the plane. She should have been thrilled that I was planning on acting up later. It would help her cause and keep me away from Riley.
Maybe. Doubtful. Nope, not a fucking chance.
***
"What's your name again, baby?" I pressed the pretty dark-skinned girl to the wall of my bedroom as she tore at my shirt. I'd gone from thinking I couldn't get turned on by anyone but Riley to drinking myself into believing I could do anything.
"Izabella." She emphasized the l's in her name too.
"Hot," I licked the side of her neck and ground my cock against her stomach.
"So big," she whispered and glanced down to work on my jeans.
"Yeah, good luck with that." I ran my fingers through her hair and rocked against her as she freed the monster from its cage. The soft gasp that left her delighted me, though I knew she would soon realize what all women did... size wasn't everything. Sometimes it was a fucking nightmare and left all parties involved unfulfilled and pissy.
"Wow." She moved down to her knees and leaned forward, taking my dick into her mouth like a pro. I pressed my hands to the wall and rolled my hips, fucking her pretty face while she tugged my pants off the curve of my ass and ran her nails all over the parts of me that her mouth wasn't covering.
I closed my eyes and held my breath as orgasm rose inside me, leaving my body tingling, achy. The room disappeared and I was back in Rio, in the room with Riley as she stood brave and ready to take on whatever was about to happen between us.
Her strawberry blond hair was matted to the sensual line of her neck, her breasts more than visible through her wet dress. She was everything I wanted in my bed, pressed to a wall, bending over in the shower in front of me.
I had no doubt she could take my dick and use it for every inch it was worth. I groaned as I thrusted harder, losing myself in the wet warmth of the girl beneath me as my vision exploded and Riley screamed my name. All I wanted was to hear her come.
"Come for me," I whispered roughly and I continued to thrust.
"Ethan." The girl pushed at my hips, forcing me to stop and move back. I reached down and stroked myself, letting the orgasm finish as I walked toward my bed.
"Don't worry about the lock when you leave." I turned to face her and fell backward on my bed. The minute my ass touched the sheets, my eyes closed and I worked myself hard, seeing my girl in my vision.
"Really? That's it?"
"Out,” I moaned and lifted my hips, hoping I exploded like a fountain in front of her. Maybe then she would get the fuck out. I didn't need her time or her attention. Bringing her over had been a mistake. I'd have to tell my brother to quit offering me women. It was like asking an addict if they wanted another hit... fuck yeah they did.
Well, I didn't want another hit unless it was her.
Stars exploded across my vision as I groaned out her name over and over and over again.
I had to assume Izabella left. She wasn't around when I stumbled to the kitchen, half drunk and fully sated an hour later. Shame. I was in the mood for something to eat. Girls were good for that stuff. I laughed at myself. Deza would kick me in the ass for even thinking it.
Now I had to remember to say it around her.
"That would be fucking awesome. Sort of." I stopped beside the stove and sunk to the kitchen floor. It wasn't the bed, but it would do for the night.
Chapter 5
Riley
My hands shook as I buttoned the front of my black dress. Something about funeral homes and caskets and tombstones left me unraveled. The fact that I was going to bury my mother in an hour was beyond comprehensibl
e, but to know that she was going to be laid to rest next to my older brother...
"Hey. You ready to go?" Charlotte poked her head into the bathroom where I stood.
"Yeah. Sure." I reached for a tube of pink lipstick and put a little on my lips, not wanting to overdo it too much. The dark circles under my eyes had been a bitch to cover up, but somehow between me and Char, we'd done it.
"I'm going to be right beside you, okay? Jace is too. He's meeting us there." She gave me a quick hug and reached up to reposition the gold charm necklace on my neck. "Let's get some ice cream after this. I think we're going to need it a lot over the next few months."
"Me too." I moved around her and picked up my small black purse. Numbness had settled around me, and I wanted to question everything, but I couldn't. I had no voice, no feelings, no anything. It was as if a void existed around me, and I was grateful for it. Of the various questions I had, the one that kept returning was why Ethan hadn't even called. It was just a phone call. It would have said that he cared. Even as a friend. Was that too much to ask?
I was supposed to be angry about it, but I had nothing to give. Not even for the great Ethan Lewis.
"I talked to the funeral director this morning and I guess your mom has a sister that has a daughter that wants to sing something?" Charlotte gave me an odd look as we walked out the door and down to her car.
"My cousin, Patricia. She's an opera singer in New York. She's actually really good." I got in the car and buckled up.
"And you're okay with her singing? I told him that I figured you would be, but I would ask just to make sure before we started the service."
"I don't really care." I leaned back and glanced out the window beside me. I didn't want any part of the funeral and would have skipped it if I could have done so without guilt. My mom was long gone. I believed Jace about her being in a better place. The day was about wallowing in sorrow, and I'd done that quite efficiently over the last few days in the darkness of my bedroom. I couldn't see how doing it again in front of the people who showed up would help any of us.
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