by Jaci Burton
Her eyes widened and she sank into a nearby chair.
Dax followed her, crouching down to peer up into her dejected face. “No better than who, Isabelle?”
She waved him off. “Nothing. Forget I said that. I can’t do this, that’s all, I just can’t. I want to go back to the surface, Dax. Take me back home, where I belong.”
The finality in her voice pained him. Her rejection couldn’t have hurt him more if she’d physically stuck a knife in his heart. She didn’t care enough about him to make her life down here, and he refused to abandon his promise to protect the seas in order to live with her.
“You’re right, Isabelle.” He stood and pulled her up.
Without so much as a glance in her direction, he grasped her hand and led her out of the laboratory, starting the swim to the surface. “Neither of us is willing to give up the life we have to be together. Some things just aren’t meant to be.”
* * * * *
When they surfaced, Isabelle breathed in the humid air, no longer able to take in the seawater that had been her breath just seconds before. She and Dax swam to shore in silence.
She’d never hurt so much, had never suffered a pain so deep. How could she have known what it would be like? She’d never loved anyone before. No wonder her father’s abandonment had nearly killed her mother. She had no idea the ache of loss was this severe.
Dax followed behind her onto shore. She stopped and turned to him, not knowing what to say, and yet knowing this was their final goodbye.
The thought of never running her fingers through his sun-tipped hair, never feeling his heart beat against hers again, caused an anguish so deep she wanted to curl up and die.
“Stay with me tonight,” she pleaded. Yes, she knew it was postponing the inevitable, but she wanted one last night in Dax’s arms. A memory to hold onto forever. If he’d even let her keep her memories.
She waited, breath held, while he stared at her, the unspoken pain they both felt alive and burning in his sea blue eyes.
“Of course I’ll stay with you.”
Letting out her breath, she held out her hand and offered as much of a smile as she could.
She couldn’t give him forever, but she could give him tonight.
“Would you like something to eat or drink?” she asked, fumbling for what to do next.
He shook his head and stepped toward her, gathering her in his arms. Without a word he crushed his lips against hers.
She met his assault eagerly, desperation tinged with her growing passion. Their bodies melded together, wet and glistening with the drops of the sea. Had she noticed before how perfectly they fit together? How every part of her connected with every part of him?
He really was her destiny. And she was about to defy the love she’d been fated to have.
“Let’s take a shower,” he murmured against her lips, not waiting for her response. He picked her up and carried her past the bedroom and into the bathroom, setting her down only long enough to reach in and turn on the shower.
The warm water heated the room, providing respite from the chill that had nothing to do with the air conditioning inside the bungalow. Dax’s eyes never left her face as he stripped off her swimsuit and then his. They stood naked together and Dax turned her around to face the long mirror in the bathroom.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his tongue licking at her neck. She watched as his hands cupped her breasts, letting them rest in his hands as he shifted behind her. His cock, already hard, brushed between the cleft in her ass. She shivered, wanting him so badly she feared she’d resort to begging if he didn’t make love to her soon.
When he stepped around and stood next to her, Isabelle’s gaze roamed appreciatively over the body she’d come to know so well over the past several days, wanting to memorize every part of him so she’d never forget.
Dax opened the shower door and pulled her inside, drenching them both with spray. He gathered her in his arms and kissed her deeply. She met each thrust of his tongue with her own, pouring out the longing and regret she couldn’t speak. But she felt it, so deeply it was like an illness, sucking the life and joy from her.
Desperation born of the sense of aching loss spurred on her passion, and she reached for his buttocks, pulling his hard shaft against her mound.
He cupped her breasts, searching and finding her distended nipples, plucking at them relentlessly until she captured his cock between her legs. She rocked against his erection, her desire spilling over his turgid flesh.
“You’re so wet, Isabelle,” he ground out between panting gasps.
“I want you, Dax. I need you inside me. Now.”
He pulled back, searching her face, his eyes dark like an impending storm. “Not yet.”
Frustration caused the moan to escape her throat. Dax pushed her back against the cool tile wall of the shower, then dropped to his knees and spread her legs apart.
“Oh, God,” she murmured, watching his head bend toward her throbbing pussy. His tongue snaked out and sipped her nectar and her legs trembled.
“I’ll miss the taste of peaches,” he said, and tears welled in her eyes. She threaded her hands through his hair and pressed her back against the shower wall as he licked her outer lips, then plunged his tongue deep inside her.
She couldn’t hold back the shrieks of pleasure at the magic his mouth and tongue performed on her sensitive flesh. The shower spray rained over her, pouring off her body but not cooling her desperate passion.
Instead, it built, like a rising wave, ever higher and higher. When he took her clit in his mouth and sucked, she cried out in agonizing bliss. He pulled and nibbled the aching bud until she was mindless with the quest for completion.
When he inserted two fingers into her pussy, she bucked against him, the dual sensation of his mouth on her clit and his fingers fucking her driving her over the edge. She held on to his head and screamed as her orgasm washed through her, a wave so intense her legs nearly buckled.
Panting so hard she could barely catch her breath, she looked down at Dax. The water pummeled them both, but still he looked up at her and smiled. She caressed his cheek and he stood, covering her lips with his.
She tasted her juices on his mouth and tongue. The intoxicating sensuality of licking her own essence from his lips had her pussy aching for his cock.
But not yet. She pulled away and pressed him against the shower wall, then kissed his neck, slowly trailing her tongue over his collarbone and finding his nipples. She flicked her tongue over one, then the other, smiling when they hardened. Dax sucked in a breath as she leisurely moved down his body, palming his flat stomach and feeling it quiver under her hands. Where her hands explored, her lips and tongue followed.
Finally she dropped into a crouch, his hard-on at eye level. She looked up at him, his eyes like a wicked hurricane, dark and violently hungry. Never taking her gaze from his, she enveloped his shaft between her lips.
“Christ, Isabelle!” he shouted, his body tensing.
His salty flavor spilled onto her tongue and she lapped it up greedily, sucking him deep, the tip of his shaft bumping against the back of her throat. She took him in deeper. When she began to move, taking him from tip to base in rapid rhythm, he groaned and cursed, wrapping his hands around her head and setting the pace.
“Do you like that?” he asked, his gaze meeting hers as he fucked her mouth. “God, Isabelle, I love to watch my cock disappear between your lips. It’s so fucking hot I can hardly stand it.”
She cupped his balls in response, tugging lightly until he groaned out loud.
If she were any more aroused she’d pass out. His cock was hot and twitching against her tongue. When she moaned, he did too, then pulled his shaft from her mouth and lifted her up.
Quickly he turned off the shower and gathered Isabelle in his arms, kicking the shower door open and marching into her bedroom. Water dripped along the floor as he moved through the room. He laid her on the bed, then climbed on top of her
.
“You drive me crazy, do you know that?” he asked, settling between her legs.
She raised her hips to stroke his cock with her damp mound. “No more than you do me,” she replied, holding out her arms for him, desperate for this last union with him. She realized with a start that she wanted to crawl inside him and make him hers for the rest of her life. How was she ever going to let him go?
Dax leaned into her, his cock searching between her parted legs. She reached between them and guided him to the entrance. He plunged inside with a single, hard stroke and she cried out, wrapping her legs around him. This was completion, fulfillment, all those things people spoke about sex. Only it wasn’t the physical pleasure she felt the most—it was the joining of their souls and it tore her apart.
Her pussy throbbed, tiny quakes squeezing his shaft until he was deeply embedded inside her.
Passion took over and no more words were necessary. Dax reached underneath her and grabbed her buttocks, pulling her snug against him. Her clit brushed against his shaft as he moved in and out of her with rapid strokes. The wave began to build inside her again and she clutched his back, her nails scraping his flesh until he growled and buried his face in her neck.
When he sank his teeth into her tender skin, she shivered and screamed, the pain and pleasure mingling to drive her to the brink of sanity. And still he drove inside her without pause until she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but feel the sensations soaring through every part of her body.
You’re mine, Dax. You always will be. Maybe he heard her, maybe he didn’t. At this point she didn’t care. Tears rolled down her face as the depth of her love for him mixed with her desire.
He tensed against her and thrust deeply, so hard she felt it in her womb, so deliciously intense it toppled her into a climax that shattered her into pieces. He came along with her, their cries of ecstasy mingling until she didn’t know where she ended and he began.
They’d no more recovered their breath when he made love to her again, this time more slowly. The entire time they were joined Dax watched her, his gaze focused on hers, their lips and tongues mingling in kisses so tender she couldn’t hold back the tears. He kissed away every drop that fell, taking her over and over again to the pinnacle and beyond, until she fell into exhausted slumber, their bodies tangled together.
It was still dark in the room when she woke again, and yet Isabelle knew it was dawn. She turned over but Dax wasn’t in bed with her. The pillow where he’d laid his head was cold, no warmth from his body left on the pillowcase. Quickly, she threw off the sheet and stepped into the living room, but he wasn’t there, either.
She searched the bungalow and couldn’t find him. Her heart beat frantically as she dressed and opened the front door to step onto the beach.
Gray clouds sailed overhead, signaling a coming storm. No wonder her bedroom had been so dark. Daylight fought to break through the gathering clouds. The wind whipped her hair against her cheeks, the stinging bite of salt spray blinding her progress to the water’s edge.
He was gone, had left her sometime early this morning while she slept. She’d known it the minute she woke, had felt the emptiness inside her but didn’t want to acknowledge it yet. She’d needed a few more minutes of denial.
And she remembered. Dax was gone, but he’d left her memories intact. He trusted her not to reveal his secrets. His faith in her was humbling and overwhelming.
A loss unlike anything she’d ever experienced crushed her heart. Her father’s abandonment didn’t compare. Rage and pain and frustration mixed inside her, a rumble as fierce as the thunder in the distance.
Rain began to fall in huge droplets, soaking her. The downpour mixed with her tears, falling quickly into the sand at her feet.
She knelt in the wet sand, covered her face and sobbed.
Chapter Fifteen
Isabelle sat numbly in the chair at the ocean’s edge, staring at the cresting waves of the sea.
The storm had rushed through quickly, leaving a steamy, sunny day in its wake. Sweat poured off her body, traveling in rivulets to the sand below.
And still, she didn’t move. Paralyzed by grief, she couldn’t bring herself to do what needed to be done. The thought of packing, of gathering up her things and leaving the island, brought a fresh bout of tears that she couldn’t seem to stem.
For someone who had rarely cried in her lifetime, she’d sure pulled forth the water works lately.
Maybe because this time her heart was involved. The last time she remembered this aching pain was when her father had abandoned them. Even then it was different. Even despair over her mother’s pain had been nothing like what she felt now.
This was her first love, her first heartache, and she wasn’t certain she’d survive it.
Now, staring out at the ocean that had always filled her with life, she felt empty. The ocean held nothing that appealed to her any longer. The thought of diving without Dax at her side stabbed her with nearly unbearable pain.
She turned her gaze sharply toward the path in the rain forest as the sound of a motorized golf cart caught her attention. For the briefest of seconds she envisioned Dax riding out of the jungle, his typically wicked grin plastered on his gorgeous face.
But it wasn’t Dax. Pushing aside the disappointment that dropped her heart to her feet, Isabelle smiled at Morgan. Morgan waved and stopped the cart in front of her bungalow, then walked down to the water’s edge. Isabelle motioned to the other chair next to hers and Morgan sat.
“Checking out today?” she asked.
Isabelle nodded, trying not to think about it. “Yes. Did you need me to get a move on?”
“No, not at all. I just stopped by to ask you how you enjoyed your stay.”
She looked at the ocean. “It was heaven. I don’t want to go.”
Morgan laid a hand on her arm. “You can stay awhile longer, if you’d like. The bungalow isn’t booked for the next week.”
Isabelle turned her head and tried her best to smile. “No, thank you. I need to get back to work anyway.”
“Dax checked out early this morning,” Morgan said.
At the mention of his name, a rolling knot formed in the pit of her stomach. “I know.”
“I thought maybe you two would end up together.”
Isabelle managed a weak laugh. “Not quite.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
Morgan shrugged. “It’s just that you and Dax seemed to be more than just an island fling.”
Island fling? Morgan didn’t know the half of it. But it was still interesting to hear her observation. “It was more than an island fling. Unfortunately, we live in two different worlds.”
And that was the understatement of the year.
“So? How do you feel about him?”
“I love him,” she said before she could stop the words from spilling out of her mouth.
Morgan raised a brow. “Then make it work.”
“I can’t.”
Morgan inhaled deeply and offered a patient smile. “Honey, I’ve been where you are. In love with a man and thinking no way in hell was it going to work.”
“What did you do?”
“I married him and am having his baby,” she said with a contented grin.
“You and Tony.”
She nodded.
“How did you make it work?”
“We both had to give. I wasn’t willing to give up my life, and neither was he, but we both finally realized that neither of us was complete without the other. It’s funny how we can decide our career and our current lives are so important. Until you’re faced with losing the person you love. So we made it work.”
“And has it?”
Morgan laughed. “I’m not saying it hasn’t been difficult at times, but our love keeps us strong, keeps us bonded together. Whatever the obstacles, we’ve overcome them together.”
Isabelle trembled at Morgan’s words, tears welling anew. She f
ought them back, refusing to give in to the melancholy of loss threatening to overwhelm her.
Morgan seemed to sense her tenuous hold and patted her arm before standing. “Just think about it. I’ll be at the hotel if you need to talk to someone.”
“Thank you,” she said, grateful that at least one person knew of her struggle.
After Morgan left, Isabelle went inside the bungalow and packed, her thoughts occupied with Dax and her inability to commit to him and his life under the sea.
Was she wrong? Would she be able to live with the regret of not going with him?
No. He lived in the ocean, for God’s sake. She wasn’t like him, could never be like him, and damned if she’d follow a man like her mother had, giving up everything she knew for love.
Oh sure. It would be great to start, then as the years went by Dax would grow more and more disillusioned with her. Just like her father had with her mother.
Love didn’t last. At least not in her limited experience.
So, she’d just go back to Texas and continue her work and her teaching. She’d have to be satisfied with her career as the number one love in her life.
Right?
She looked over at the pillow where Dax had laid his head last night. At first she hesitated, then finally reached out for it and pulled it toward her face.
His scent still lingered. Crisp and fresh like the sea. She closed her eyes and willed back the soaring pain of regret, then sat on the bed, clutching the pillow to her middle.
Dax loved her. No, he’d never said it outright to her, but she’d heard him tell Ronan that night before she passed out. And he was probably just as hesitant to utter the words as she had been.
Maybe he was as afraid as she was. Or maybe he’d given her the opportunity to make her own decision about living with him without his declaration of love to cloud her judgment.
Oh God, why wasn’t this easy?
She already knew the answer. Because she was terrified. Never had she been faced with declaring her love for a man. A man she’d opened her heart to, a man she adored with all her being.
Cowardice wasn’t a word she’d use to describe herself.
