by M. A. Church
A shock ran through me, a sudden crackle of sharp pain that was mercifully brief. The thread that tied me as a beta to his Alpha disappeared, and the abruptness left me afloat and unsure. Tears rose in my eyes, and I ached in sorrow.
My stomach flipped unpleasantly, and I had to swallow repeatedly. My cat made a sad little meow, but that was all. The tie to the clowder, and through the clowder to my Alpha, was still there, but the specialness of holding a trusted position was gone. Now I was just a clowder member, and soon I wouldn’t be that.
What had I done? Had I lost my mind? Being a beta had been a part of me for as long as I could remember, and I’d just given it up. So much of what I was… was just gone. Oh goddess, how could I live through this?
Dolf knelt by my chair and clasped my hand. “Don’t panic. Breathe with me. The unexpectedness of that can be disconcerting, so come on…. In. Out. In. Out.”
“I—I feel l-l-l-like there’s something missing.” Were there tears on my face? “I f-feel adrift.”
“It won’t last long, I promise. Just bear with me and breathe.”
Thank the goddess Dolf was holding me, or I might’ve ended up in a ball crying pitifully on the floor. This fucking sucked, but I adjusted as the feelings of emptiness retreated and the overwhelming sense of aloneness left.
Finally I was able to take a breath without feeling as if my lungs were full of cut glass. “Damn, that was not fun at all, and I did it voluntarily. I can’t imagine what it would feel like being banished.”
“Which is something you’ll never have to worry about.” Dolf stood. “If, for whatever reason, you need to return, you’ll always be welcome. You have my word as Alpha of this clowder.”
“Thank you.” I ran my hands through my hair and discreetly wiped my face. “I guess on that note, we need to discuss what to do with my cabin. It’s on clowder land.”
“Are you wanting to sell it?” Dolf sat back at the table. “Rent it?”
“Renting it makes me feel like I’m holding on to it in case I need it. Not exactly the best sign of starting a new life, now is it? But it’s mine. I love that place. I searched for ages until I found the perfect spot.”
Dolf quietly stared at the table, then looked up. “Hmm. Okay, let’s do this, then. I’ll buy the place from you, but I’m going to use it as a rental property for clowder members. If for some reason you should ever need it, I’ll sell it back to you. How does that sound?”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Kirk, Tal, and I have been talking about acquiring a few rental properties for our younger clowder members who aren’t as well established, and just starting out. Since I’ll own the cabin, you know it’ll be maintained.”
“Yes, I know.” I thought about it and found I liked the idea. My property was the only thing holding me here, outside of community ties. I didn’t have a business to sell since I worked from home, so, really, this was the only thing holding me up. It was exciting. And terrifying. “Yes, let’s do that.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll start tomorrow on my end of things.”
“Well then, I guess I better start packing and going through stuff. Tomorrow’s Friday, and that’s the day trash runs, so that’s good. I’ll leave the appliances since I don’t need them. What about the furniture?”
“Up to you. If you want to leave it, we’ll include it in the sale price of the cabin. If you don’t want it all, just take what you want, and we’ll deduct that from the price.”
I thought about it. “I’m going to need my office stuff; that goes without saying. I don’t see that I’m going to need the den furniture or any of the kitchen stuff. I’ll just leave that.”
“Your bedroom suite?”
“That can be included too. There’s nothing special about it. I am keeping my four-wheeler, though.”
“Don’t blame you.” Dolf nodded. “Okay, then, only one thing left to do. I’m going to put the word out and start taking applications for the beta position. How long are you planning to stay?”
“At least two weeks. If I stay longer, Carter might show up looking for me.” I was only half kidding too.
“Would you prefer I make my final decision after you leave? Would that be easier?”
“No, I’m okay with it. Call me if you end up being shorthanded. I may not officially be a beta anymore, but you know you can trust me.”
“I will.” Dolf cleared his throat. “Then I’m going to start the interview process immediately. That’ll take a week. I’ll do trials and announce who fills the position before you go.”
“Goddess.” I rested my hand on my stomach. “It’s kind of scary, isn’t it?”
“Change can be scary, but that’s no reason to run from it.”
I blew out a breath. “I’ll try to keep that in mind. I’m going into town and see if I can hunt up some boxes. I’ve got my cell phone on me if you need anything. I guess I’ll talk you later, then.”
Dolf walked with me to the front door. “If you need me, call. I’m always here for you.”
“I’ll do that.”
My trip to town netted me some good-sized boxes. I drove back to my cabin and started the packing process. Since I was leaving the furniture, there wasn’t that much to pack outside of my personal belongings.
I’d told Carter two weeks—two weeks that were going to be both the shortest and longest of my life, I was afraid.
Chapter Twelve
Carter
THE WORDS of the email blurred. I’d read the thing three times and still didn’t have a fucking clue what it said. I closed out of the email and leaned back in my chair. There were things I needed to get done, but every spare thought I had was for Aidric. He’d just left this morning, and I already missed him. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t talked to him today. I had.
This was utterly ridiculous. Determined to get some work done, I shoved thoughts of Aidric out of my head and reopened the email… only to have my cell phone ring. Growling, I jerked it out of my pocket. I recognized the ringtone, even though it’d been a year since I last heard it.
I unlocked it and hit the Answer button. “Yes?”
“C-Carter? Is that… is t-that you? O-oh gods, oh gods, please be you.”
Whatever smart-assed remark I had about who else would be answering my phone died when I heard the hysteria in Bram’s voice. “Bram? Bram?”
“She’s… she’s… she’s….” Bram wheezed, then choked. “Oh shit, Carter, I can’t… I just can’t….”
If I’d had hair on my head, it’d be standing up. Pain roiled through Bram’s voice—pain and horror. Chills raced over my skin, and I gulped. “Okay, take a deep breath and just tell me. Tell me what’s going on.”
“She… she’s dead, Carter,” Bram shrieked, his voice breaking at the end. “M-my mate is dead. Dead. Gone from me. I-I can’t… I can’t live without—”
“Marlena? She’s…. What happened? Bram? I need you to stop screaming!”
Bram’s screams spiked, and I jerked the phone away from my ear. The agony pierced my soul. “Y-yes! She’s gone, gone, gone, gone!”
A million questions ran across my mind as Bram wailed. I didn’t know where to start. I was frozen from the sheer horror alone. She was his mate. If she was dead…. how long would my younger brother live?
The agony in his voice struck out at me, sharp little spikes of pain that drove under the skin. I couldn’t think. I had no clue what to do. My heart raced and my fangs dropped. He needed me, but I wasn’t there. I was here—away from him. He needed me, and gods, I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around the pain that lived within him right now.
For one soul-sucking second, I clutched the cell phone, staring at it in terror. What… what could I do? Then the part of me that was an Alpha, that core strength, rose. “Bram!” I snapped.
Bram’s hysterical screams dwindled into nothing, and he sniffled.
“Listen to me. Concentrate on my voice.” My voice deepened. The power of my voi
ce could calm pack members just as easily as it could demand compliance. He was related to me by blood, so I hoped it would still work, even though he was no longer a member of my pack. I had no idea if I could even do this over a cell phone, but I didn’t know what else to do. “Where are you?”
“H-home.”
At least he wasn’t out somewhere surrounded by humans. Then another thought hit me, and my stomach dropped. “And Keegan?”
“With my Alpha’s wife.”
I gritted my teeth and bit back the automatic response at hearing my baby brother’s words. “Are you alone?”
“N-n-no. My Alpha and his betas are here.”
“Okay, good. You don’t need to be alone. I love you, Bram, do you understand me? I love you, and I’ll be here for you. Just tell me what you need.”
“I… I… I need you. Please? I know things have been kind of strained between us, but—”
“But none of that matters. If you want me there, then just say the word, and I’ll be there.” I’d kill anything that got in my way too.
“Please come. I don’t know what to do. I just…. What do I do? She’s my everything. I can’t…. What’s the point, Carter? Oh gods, she’s dead, and I…. Oh, oh fuck….”
There was a scuffle, an eerie heartbreaking howl, and the next thing I knew, someone else was speaking into the phone.
“Carter?”
“Yes! Who is this? What’s going on? Where’s Bram?”
“It’s Daniel McGee. Your brother…. He was starting to shift, but I managed to calm him enough and put him into a light sleep. One of my betas is taking him to the pack house where Keegan is.”
I took a deep breath and, when that didn’t seem to loosen the constriction in my chest, took another one. I still wanted to tear something apart with my bare hands. “Can you tell me what happened, and are the humans involved?”
“What we know so far is a friend named Wendy stopped by and picked Marlena up before daylight. They dropped Keegan off with Patsy, my wife, and then the two drove to the eastern edge of my border. They planned to shift and just run for a few hours—a girls’ day out sort of thing. About two hours ago, Wendy called, hysterical. As unbelievable as this is going to sound, Marlena was shot by hunters.”
That was… that was… sickening. Unbelievable and so fucking unnecessary. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No, that was pretty much the same reaction I had. From what Wendy said, she and Marlena were just going along, minding their own business, when suddenly she heard an explosion. Marlena dropped right where she stood. There was another explosion, and Wendy felt pain across her back.”
“They shot them. Fucking shot them.”
“Yes.”
“By all the gods.” I swallowed several times, trying to keep my stomach from heaving.
“Yes. Wendy fled. She hid in the woods in the hopes the hunters would leave.” Daniel sighed. “Fucking humans and their guns.”
“They didn’t leave, did they?”
“No. It was two males, and they looked really young. Like maybe early twenties. They did check Marlena, and… shit. She was dead, Carter. There was nothing Wendy could do.”
“How did Wendy know Marlena was dead if Wendy didn’t go back and check?”
“How do you think? Because from where Wendy was hiding, she couldn’t hear Marlena’s heart beating.”
“Shit. I should’ve realized that.”
“Don’t worry about it. If you’re half as stressed over this as I am….” Daniel growled softly. “Unfortunately it doesn’t get any better. While she watched, the young humans randomly shot whatever caught their attention.”
“Those little no good—”
“My thoughts exactly. They weren’t even hunting for food. This death was nothing more than sport for them, the bastards.”
“Fuckers.” I clenched my fists.
My vision changed, and I knew my eyes had shifted. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm my wolf. He wanted to shift, run to Daniel’s land, and hunt those humans down…. Which would never happen, but I was sure having fun entertaining random thoughts about what I’d like to do to them.
“Wendy ran back to where her car was, shifted, and called me immediately. It took me about an hour to get out there. I found Marlena’s body and brought her back. There was no trace of the humans, which was probably a good thing for all involved.”
“Yeah.” We tried to live off the humans’ radar, but one of ours had been killed for no reason. Now a pup would have to figure out how to survive without his mother. And my brother? I wasn’t sure he’d survive at all.
“They should’ve never been in my lands to begin with, and I’ll do what I can about that later. Right now you might seriously think about coming here. You know as well as I do how hard it is when we lose a mate. Plus there is the pup to consider.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Alpha Daniel McGee, I formally ask permission to enter Boulder Rock Pack lands.”
“Alpha Carter Lovelock of the Dark Lake Pack, permission is formally granted. I welcome you onto my land.” Daniel huffed. “Now that is taken care of, feel free to stay for as long as your brother needs you.”
“Thank you, Alpha. I appreciate your welcome. When he wakes, tell him I’m on my way. If you wouldn’t mind, give me your email. I’ll send you the make and model of my vehicle.”
Daniel rattled off his email address. “Safe journey, Alpha. I’ll alert the guards to be expecting you. I’m sorry to be meeting you under such duress.”
“Same here. Goodbye.” I disconnected.
There was a good possibility by the time I arrived, my brother would be dead. With that thought in mind, I bellowed for Temple, who was in the pack house.
“Son of a—dammit to hell and back, Carter!” Temple yelled back.
Oops. I heard a ball hit the pool table hard. While I waited on Temple, I texted Shea.
Temple stomped into my office. “I want you to know you just ruined the shot of a lifetime.”
I jerked my head at one of the chairs while I finished texting Shea. “Sorry about that.” Temple took his pool seriously.
“You don’t normally bellow—snarl and growl, sure, but not bellow—so what’s going on?”
“Let’s just wait until Shea gets here so I don’t have to go through this twice, but it’s bad.”
“Is it about Aidric?” Temple asked as he sat.
I ran my hand over my head. “No, thank the wolf god.”
“Okay, that’s good. Aidric seems like a—” A door slammed, and Temple and I could hear muttering. “Well, Shea’s on his way.”
We listened to Shea’s cowboy boots clicking against the floor as he strode briskly toward my office.
“Hey. I came as quick as I could. What’s going on?”
I motioned for Shea to sit next to Temple. I leaned against the front of my desk, facing them. “A short while ago, I received a phone call from Bram. His mate, Marlena, was shot earlier today by hunters while in her wolf form. She’s dead, guys.”
“Shit.” Temple shook his head. “That’s…. I can’t imagine…. Fucking humans.”
“Shot? Seriously?” Shea demanded. “What asshole shoots a wolf? Especially one this far south. It’s not like there are gray wolves around here. Reds, maybe, but not gray.”
“No, there hasn’t been a sighting of a wild gray wolf in this area for a while, which causes all sorts of problems for us, needless to say. Humans released some red wolves back in the nineties in Mississippi, Florida, and North Carolina, though,” Temple said.
“Which is irrelevant. These hunters shot a wolf not because they were afraid, but because they apparently had nothing better to do and thought it’d be fun. A friend was running with Marlena on the borders of Alpha Daniel’s land and saw the whole thing.” I quickly explained everything I’d been told and what I planned to do.
“I don’t know what to say, Carter. That’s awful. I just can’t….” Shea scrubbed his hands
across his face. “Poor Bram.”
“And poor Keegan,” Temple added. “When do you leave?”
“As soon as I can. Temple, as head beta, I’m leaving you in charge. Plan for me to be gone at least ten days to two weeks. Maybe more. It just depends on Bram.”
“Does that mean I’m going with you?” Shea asked.
“No. I need you here.”
“Alpha, you are not driving there alone. Shea can follow you, then drive back,” Temple said.
“That’s a ridiculous amount of wasted time. I’m perfectly capable of—”
“No Alpha goes anywhere alone. You know that.” Shea twisted his hands.
“This isn’t up for debate. I’m going alone, and that’s the end of that.” Shea and Temple both started to speak, but I continued on, determined to override their objections. “I need the time alone, guys. I’ll be okay. If you follow me, Shea, I’m not going to be happy.”
“I give up! Fine, then. What about Aidric?” Shea asked.
“I’ll call him before I leave and explain what’s going on. Gods.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. I dreaded what I was about to walk into.
“He wasn’t planning to come back before two weeks anyhow, was he?” Temple asked.
“No, he wasn’t. I planned to introduce him to my brother, and now I’m not sure I’m going to have a brother to introduce Aidric to.”
“You should ask him to go with you,” Shea said.
I laughed softly. “No way in hell is that happening. I am not bringing my unclaimed mate, who happens to be a feline shifter, around a bunch of werewolves I don’t know during a time when my attention would be split, to put it nicely.”
“You don’t think Daniel’s pack would say or do anything to Aidric, do you?” Temple frowned.
“You don’t trust them?” Shea asked.
“No, I don’t trust them, and why should I? I don’t know them,” I growled.
Temple snorted and elbowed Shea. “He doesn’t trust anybody, you know that.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at my two betas. “Now that’s not true. I trust the two of you.”
