“Sure.” After grabbing her winter coat, she shrugged it on. “I’ll probably pick up a few things, too.” Like wine. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten to get at least one bottle. Nothing better than a fire crackling in the fireplace, a glass of wine and an old movie in the DVR.
With Garth securely buckled into his infant car carrier, they started to town. Initially tense, JJ relaxed her death grip on the door handle when she realized Eric, despite having lived in California, truly appeared to know how to navigate his SUV on snowy roads.
The small local grocery store appeared to be empty.
“Is it even open?” Eric asked, pulling into a parking spot right near the front door.
She laughed. “The day before the storm hit, you couldn’t even park in the lot. And yes, I’m going to say they’re open, judging by that neon sign above the doorway.”
“Great.” Hurrying around to the back, he unbuckled Garth. “Hopefully, it won’t take me long to get enough provisions to tide me over for a while.”
She nodded. “I just need a few things, so I’ll walk with you. Would you like me to hold Garth?”
“Sure.” Without a second of hesitation, he handed over the baby. Garth cooed, apparently already recognizing her. In response, her heart squeezed. Ever since she’d realized how Shawn had been using her desire to have a baby as a trick to keep her on a leash, she’d pushed that ache deep down inside her. Being around this little one brought her longing right back to the surface. Maybe someday she’d be lucky enough to have a child of her own.
Chapter 5
By the time they’d reached the other side of the grocery store, Eric had a full basket. JJ had grabbed a bottle of red wine and some cheese and put both in the cart, feeling ridiculously domestic. When they reached the checkout, Eric grabbed those and put them on the belt first, followed by his own groceries.
“Let me pay for my things,” JJ said, fumbling in her purse for her wallet while holding Garth.
“I got it.” The easy smile Eric flashed had her insides going all tingly again. “A bottle of wine and a block of cheese are the least I can do for you after all the help you’ve been to me.”
“Okay.”
When they walked outside, it had started snowing again. Eric gave a good-natured groan, making her laugh.
“I like it,” she said, twirling around in the parking lot.
“Which would explain why I found you making a snow angel when I first arrived.” After placing little Garth into his infant seat, he began loading groceries into the back of his SUV. At her laugh, he glanced over his shoulder at her, then returned his attention to the task at hand.
Too happy to care, she stuck her tongue out at his back. “This is why I couldn’t live anywhere else but New York,” she told him. “Well, this and autumn. I’m definitely a fan of the fall.”
He closed the back door of his vehicle and walked the shopping cart to the front of the store. “No sense leaving it out here in the snow,” he said. “Let’s go home before the roads get too bad.”
Home. How many times had she said that word back in the city, not really meaning it? Now, hearing him refer to her house that way made hope blossom in her chest. Not for him, not for them, but for her. She really could make this place her home. She really could start her life over.
Once at the house, she took baby Garth inside while Eric carried in his provisions. “Here you go.” He handed her the bag with her wine and cheese. “Thanks for your help.”
Though plainly, she needed to go, she lingered, searching for a valid reason to stay. Busy unpacking his groceries, he didn’t issue an invitation. Finally, though, she thanked him again for the wine and made her way upstairs.
When the snowfall finally stopped an hour before midnight, her measuring stick on the back porch showed they’d gotten eighteen inches. She was giddy with happiness, deciding then and there that she’d go into the woods and become wolf as soon as darkness had fallen. Since moving here, she tried to shape-shift at least once a week. It was much easier to do so here than it had been in the city. Just walking alone into Central Park had been nerve-racking, though once she disappeared into the trees and changed into wolf, it had been fun. Though there had been wooded areas remote enough that a wolf could hunt unnoticed, always, always, always, she and all the others of her kind couldn’t help but be aware of the perimeter. As wolf, of necessity they’d remained on alert, just in case they encountered a human, or worse, a gang of humans.
In Forestwood, all that had changed. Judging from the abundance of auras she’d seen, more than two-thirds of the town inhabitants were some kind of shape-shifter. The rest were human and seemed oblivious to the others living in their midst.
She’d never been so glad to see the first snowfall here. One of the things she loved best about snow was changing into her wolf self and going for a run in it. Her entire life, she’d never felt free. Especially, she thought ruefully, since she’d had to lie to Shawn about where she’d been when she disappeared for a few hours every couple weeks. But she couldn’t tell him the truth, so she’d done what she must, because she’d had no choice.
Now she could finally experience a space without boundaries. The idea both fascinated and terrified her. Ever since arriving in the Catskills, she’d been itching to get out and do exactly that. Her inner wolf, the curious beast, had been pushing at the edge of her consciousness every other day now. She didn’t mind, as this was the purest kind of freedom. Limitless and joyful.
Each day, she felt better and better. Her burden of insecurity had gradually lessened, day by day, the entire time she’d been here in her new home. With such tremendous possibilities open to her, how could she remain afraid to take the first, vital step?
Downstairs, her new tenant and his adorable baby were hopefully asleep. The full moon lit up the freshly fallen snow, silver and white ice crystals beckoning. She’d dressed warmly, aware she’d need to walk deep into the woods behind her house as a human, before shedding her layers and beginning the process that would result in setting her wolf form free.
Anticipation had her moving fast. Her inner wolf felt she’d waited too long to change, which wasn’t a good thing for her mental health, though in actuality she hadn’t. Still, each time she let her wolf self out to play, when she’d returned to her human form she’d felt better, more balanced and better able to face any unexpected challenges that might lie ahead.
Tonight, she’d think of none of that. Tonight, as wolf, she’d hunt.
After crossing the large field between her house and the forest, she stopped and turned to look back. Pride of ownership filled her, making her heart swell. Her home sat on a small rise, surrounded by a grove of trees that appeared to shelter the two-story, wooden building. Rather than stand out, the house seemed to blend with the landscape, as though it had always been there, standing the test of time.
Hers. Something permanent, a place she could hold on to. Where she could put down roots and change the path of her life. As she often did, she offered up a silent thank-you to the great-aunt she’d never known.
Turning back toward the dark forest, she began moving once again, lifting her feet higher as she trudged through the deepening snow. Here, near the edge of the trees, snowdrifts were deeper, making progress more difficult.
But she powered through, her heart rate quickening as the wolf inside her paced and pushed, ready to be set free.
Finally, she judged she’d gone far enough into the woods. She found a fallen tree and hung her empty backpack from one of the branches. Slowly, she began peeling back layers, already shivering from the cold, though she knew in a few minutes her thick wolf pelt would keep her more than warm.
Stuffing each article of clothing into her backpack, she eventually stood naked, the chill seeping up from her bare feet. She knew she had to act quickly before her poor toes
got frostbite. Inhaling, she dropped to the ground and initiated the change.
The familiar sensation never got old. The changes that occurred to her human body—especially her skeleton—could occasionally be painful. More so when a long time had gone by since her last change.
Since she was rushing herself as she shifted, she expected this one to really hurt. Surprisingly, it didn’t. Maybe the combination of adrenaline, anticipation and cold combined to deaden the pain somewhat.
Either way, as her bones lengthened, her hands and feet turning into paws, a savage sort of joy filled her.
Wolf-JJ was almost free. In a moment, she’d give herself over to the primitive nature of the beast.
Done. Immediately, myriad tantalizing scents beckoned. Her wolf nose, a thousand times more sensitive than her human one, picked up on the fact that a rabbit had recently crossed nearby, as had a skunk and a small herd of white-tailed deer.
Eager to explore, she bounded off through the snow.
* * *
Eric had heard Julia tromp down the stairs right around twelve, just as he was about to turn off the TV and head to bed. Curious, he waited for the sound of a car engine starting, but then caught sight of her moving slowly across a large, open field. Her bulky parka and layered clothing made movement a bit difficult as she headed toward the forest, no doubt to change into her beast, whatever kind that might be.
An instant of longing rocked him, his inner beast protesting with a roar that reverberated in his soul. He felt it had been forever since he’d shape-shifted, and his bear self was not at all happy about that. But what could he do? Taking care of an infant made it damn near impossible to go off by himself and change. While he’d gotten Jason, his Pack Protector friend, to watch Garth a time or two, he’d been able to shape-shift only twice in three months. Not good. At all. To go too long without letting his inner bear free was dangerous. He knew, as did all shifters, that doing so could lead to insanity or even death. Right now, Eric felt as if he could be pushing the limit. Maybe he’d see if his landlord would be willing to watch Garth for an hour or two tomorrow night so Eric could take his own solitary trip into the forest.
He resolved to ask her later. Right now, all he could do was watch until she disappeared from view, and push down his envy.
* * *
The hunt went well, JJ thought, as she hurriedly dressed after changing back to human. As usual, when in her wolf form, she had no sense of time passing, so she had no idea how long she’d explored the forest. She’d tracked and taken down a midsize rabbit, feasting until her belly was full. This would be her place, and though she knew there surely were other shifters in Forestwood, these few acres of woods were part of her property and would be where she went to let her wolf self run free.
Once again fully clothed, though everything retained a touch of a chill, she gave herself a few moments for the intense sexual arousal to recede. For whatever reason, this crazed need for bodily contact happened to everyone once they shifted back to human, no matter what kind of beast they became. Many people took advantage of this—she’d heard stories of wild and crazy orgies among groups who liked to shape-shift with others.
As for herself, she’d gotten used to tamping down the need. Even when she’d been with Shawn, she hadn’t wanted to return home after having spent the night away and beg him to make love to her. Sex was another one of the things he used to control her.
So once the low thrum of desire had settled to a steady hum, she inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, watching the plume her breath made in the frigid air. Centered, she felt normal again, so she wouldn’t find herself at Eric’s front door offering herself to him.
The thought sent a fresh wave of longing through her. Again she took deep breaths, focusing on the snow and the velvet ink of the sky, until she’d once again regained her equilibrium.
Then and only then did she turn to make her way back home. She followed her old footprints, glad they made the going much easier. The moon still provided illumination, though it no longer hung fat and sassy in the sky directly overhead.
A few hours then, she thought. Time well spent. Her entire body ached, a pleasant feeling. She let herself back into her silent house and went up the stairs, wincing as a few of them creaked.
She’d just about reached her landing when the downstairs door opened.
“Welcome back.” The sound of Eric’s deep voice sent an immediate thrum of need blazing through her bloodstream. Damn. So much for returning to normal.
Reluctant to face him, but glad of the several steps in between them, she turned, thankful for her bulky clothing. “Thank you. You’re up kind of late, aren’t you?” Then, as a worrisome thought occurred to her, she raised her gloved hand to her throat. “Is Garth all right?”
“He’s fine.” Eric dragged his own hand across his chin. “You went out to change, didn’t you?”
Slowly, she nodded, aware once again they were skirting dangerously close to the edge of what was considered acceptable conversation.
Shifting his weight from foot to foot, he nodded. It dawned on her he was clearly uncomfortable. “It’s been a while for me and...”
“You can’t just leave Garth.”
“Right. So I was wondering if you’d mind watching him for a few hours so I can change, too.”
What she’d give to see him change, or to be more specific, to be there when he exchanged his animal form for that of a man. At the thought, a bolt of lust shot through her, so strong she nearly staggered. “Tonight?” she managed to ask. “Because I don’t know if I—”
“No, not tonight.” One corner of his mouth tugged up in a tired smile. “I was thinking maybe tomorrow night, if that would be okay with you. If not, I’m open to whenever you can spare the time.”
“Tomorrow should be fine.” Casual, she thought. She hoped she sounded casual. Not at all like a woman who wanted to pounce on him because she couldn’t help imagining being the one to greet him when he became human again, fully and gloriously aroused.
In fact, she’d better get back to her own personal, private space before she did something foolish, like reach for him.
“I really appreciate it, Julia.” He frowned. “Is it okay if I use your first name?”
“My friends call me JJ,” she told him. “I’d rather you use that.”
“I will.” Again the blinding smile. “I really appreciate all your help. Someday I hope I can repay you.”
Oh, she knew exactly how he could repay her. Dang it. Swallowing hard, she managed to smile back.
“Good night,” she said firmly, unlocking her door and stepping inside. Once she had it closed firmly behind her, she sagged against it, her entire body throbbing. Residue from the change, she told herself. Nothing to do with her tenant. Nothing to do with him at all. After the disastrous relationship with Shawn, she didn’t need to be wanting another man, not now. Maybe not ever.
* * *
In the morning, a phone call woke Eric. It was the moving company notifying him they’d be arriving the next afternoon, weather permitting. Finally, he’d be getting the few personal items he’d kept, along with Garth’s actual baby furniture. And his car. Most important, his beautiful car. Of course, the baby furniture was important, too, but if it had gotten damaged or lost, he could replace it. His car was irreplaceable.
Things were starting to look up. Eric found himself waiting with barely concealed anticipation for the sun to go down so he could go into the woods alone and change.
He’d have to be careful, though he’d actually chosen this town because they’d reportedly been tolerant, even kind, to the Drakkor woman they’d sheltered for years. She’d become a celebrity of sorts among paranormal creatures, dispensing wisdom and baked goods from her cottage on the shores of the lake. Another Drakkor and his shifter mate had also settled here. He planned t
o visit all three of them once he got settled, as long as they were open to visitors. Being bear, he felt a sense of kinship with other outcasts, other species of shifter who were rare and few and often reviled.
When his family had left their small village in Norway, they’d chosen a town in California where other Vedjorn lived. Since most bear shifters mated with their own kind, they’d wanted their son to have the chance to find a mate.
While he missed his parents tremendously, he was glad they hadn’t survived to see what kind of a mate he’d chosen. If he had his druthers, he’d never hook up with another bear shifter. And since most of the other shifters were afraid of the bears, he doubted he’d ever find another woman to mate with again.
Which suited him just fine. Once had been enough. He had his son. As long as he could find a female who was open to recreational sex, he’d consider his life a happy one.
For now, though, the only thing he needed to worry about was letting his inner beast free to run and hunt.
Anticipation built in him as he waited for dusk. Somehow, his nervous pacing communicated to his son, rendering Garth unusually fussy. Even though he’d been changed and fed and burped, he started crying and wouldn’t be soothed. This had never happened before. Jiggling him, rocking him, speaking in a soothing tone over and over—none of it worked. In desperation, Eric searched the internet for a solution, but found only variations of what he already knew to do.
Finally, little Garth cried himself to sleep.
Exhausted, Eric quietly transferred his son to his temporary crib. Then he sat down with his head in his hands and tried to think.
Teething? Again he hit the search engines and learned teething usually starts at six months, but can start as early as three.
A soft tap at his door startled him. After a quick glance to make sure the sound hadn’t made Garth wake, he hurried to answer.
“Is everything all right?” JJ murmured, as if she somehow knew the baby slept. She wore a flowing shirt and some sort of soft leggings that made her legs appear impossibly long.
Her Guardian Shifter Page 5
