by Neal, Xavier
Okay, yeah, most of the shit she puts me in I wouldn’t wear outside the ring, but I mean I would really never wear this. I don’t do the country western look very well. Just because I live in Texas doesn’t mean I own a pair of cowboy boots, jean shorts, and a cowboy hat. If you must know, I don’t own any of those things. Well, I didn’t own any. I’m about to own all three and probably the big ass oversized belt buckle too. Don’t judge me! None of this is my fault.
“Really?” My pout gets worse as Erin dangles a pair of jean shorts, that have the pockets hanging outside of them, in front of me. “Are those shorts or underwear?”
“Maxx—”
“Suddenly it feels like the sun does shine there.”
Erin huffs and shoves the denim disaster back on the rack and continues her thumbing through. “So…how are things with you and Logan?”
Without hesitation I mutter, “Non-existent.”
Abruptly, she stops. “What?”
Damn it. Why didn’t you tell me to just keep my mouth shut?
“I didn’t say anything.”
Deny and distract. One of the only ways to win with a Hart.
“What do you think of this?” I hold up a rhinestone covered tank top.
“I think that looks like an after-school cheerleading project gone wrong,” she snaps and shoves the tank top back on the rack. “Now, back to Logan. What do you mean non-existent?”
With a heavy sigh, I lean my back against the glass covered pillar. “I mean…things are basically back to normal.”
“You guys aren’t fooling around anymore?”
My cheeks flush as I remember him crawling into my bed and sliding his hands between my legs. Suddenly it feels like his warm hands are stroking up my outer thigh, across my hip bone, around to my inner thigh. The thought gives me goosebumps.
Gives you goosebumps too, huh?
“Stop picturing it,” she fusses and pulls me back away from the ideas that have been dictating my own personal spank bank. “Answer the question.”
“No, Erin. We haven’t been fooling around.”
“Kissing?”
“No.”
“What have you been doing then?”
“The normal. Dinner, TV, video games.”
“So eating off each other’s plates, cuddling, and flirtatiously play fighting,” she translates.
Isn’t that what I said? I mean, you gathered all that without me having to spell it out like she did, right?
“Let me ask you this.” Erin returns to pushing clothes around in search of something that will hopefully cover more than just one ass cheek. “How many times this week has he slipped away to get his dick sticky?”
I cringe at the phrasing. “Really? Was that colorful language needed?”
I swear she sounds just like Logan.
“It was.” She giggles before biting her bottom lip.
Rolling my eyes I shrug. “I don’t know…”
“Think about it. I mean, really think about it, Maxx.”
Fine. Before I go to work he’s been having breakfast with me then leaving for training when I leave. By the time I get home if we aren’t having group dinner we’ve been going out to eat. Then we went bowling a couple nights ago. He’s actually been falling asleep in my bed almost every night, but crawls into his own sometime before morning. He says I kick in my sleep, but wouldn’t you kick too if someone were trying to take all your covers? Self-defense!
“I mean, normally he’s pretty obvious about needing to slip away to go get laid, but lately…I guess he really hasn’t. I can’t say for a fact—”
“But we can assume he hasn’t right?”
“You’re not supposed to assume anything.”
“Is that so?” Erin’s tone changes to the one that warns she’s about to be a smartass.
Even more so.
“So it’s not safe to assume you wouldn’t wear this?” She holds up something that looks like a swim suit top with ugly flannel print. Without hesitation my face scrunches.
I know yours did too.
“Exactly. When you know someone like I know you, and like you know Logan, it’s more acceptable to assume. Now, from what you’ve told me it seems like he may be trying to do the right thing with you.” She begins to smile before mumbling, “For once in his life.”
Does she think we can’t hear her?
“I think you’re reading too much into this.”
“And yet again, I don’t think you’re reading into it enough.” She finally holds up something mildly acceptable, a red and white checkered crop top shirt, that’s clearly intended to be tied in the front. As much as I don’t wanna wear what she’s holding, I like it better than anything else she’s offered. Sensing that, she hands it to me to hold while she starts looking at bottoms. “I’m not saying this to fill your head with delusional fantasies, but it sounds like you might be Logan’s one and only now…”
One and only? Like we’re dating? Is that what we’re doing right now? Are all the dinners and cuddles us beginning to date? Surely Logan wouldn’t start dating me and not tell me? You’re right. What the hell is wrong with me? Of course Logan would start dating me and neglect to tell me. So if we’re dating…does that mean I’m his—
“Hey!” The shrill pitched sound makes my eye twitch. “You’re Unbreakable’s roommates!”
Erin and I turn to see one of the off brand Olsen twins standing in front of us wearing a skintight red mini skirt with a black halter top that is not all the way zipped up in the front. However, instead of her sister, or the clone she looked like, there’s another girl. Shorter, wider, and noisier judging by the way she’s chomping her gum like some goddamn horse.
Is it really that hard to chew with your mouth closed? It’s fucking gum.
“You’re one of the zoo escapes,” Erin mumbles draping the jean skirt she was admiring over her arm.
The short one looks mildly offended.
Well at least she might have half a brain.
“She means it in a joking way,” the one night stand clarifies.
Erin pipes up, “No I don’t.”
Giggling, she tosses her scrawny hand at Erin, still passing it off as a joke. “See, the night Candy and I hooked up with Unbreakable, we were dressed as monkeys, for Rumble in the Jungle—”
She continues talking but I find myself distracted.
Did she say her friend’s name is Candy? You wanna bet me ten bucks that is actually her name? I’ll double it and bet you that this one’s name fucking rhymes with it.
Interrupting her ramble Erin snips, “What did you want again? Uh…Mindy was it?”
“Mandy.” The girl giggles and adjusts her tiny purse.
Told you.
“I was just wondering if you knew why Unbreakable hadn’t been texting me lately?” Her information forces Erin to smirk like a know it all.
Oh good God, she didn’t need an ego stroke right now.
“He’s got a girlfriend,” Erin says proudly, and Mandy’s face contorts like she doesn’t understand what was just said. She continues her awkward staring while we continue looking back at her, waiting for the information to click into place.
It’s honestly like waiting for a small child to try and finally fit the square peg into the square hole.
“No.” She finally shakes her head before tossing a hand towards us again. “They’re just messing with me.” She elbows her friend. “They have all these crazy, weird jokes I don’t get, but they’re really funny!”
If she doesn’t get them, how the hell does she know they’re really funny?
“What jokes?” I finally enter the conversation.
“Like when you guys told me Unbreakable was illegitimate.”
Fail. Jus
t…fail.
“Illiterate.” My correction has her giggling again.
“Right! That!” She shakes her head and pulls out her phone, her French tipped nails texting away. “It was so funny! Unbreakable isn’t that, he knows how to talk—”
“It means he doesn’t know how to read!” Erin and I croak in unison.
“That too.” She clicks away. “Anyway, they’re always joking around like that…” Her voice trails off before her phone pings and she snaps her head back at us revealing the text. “See! No girlfriend!”
Erin and I lean our heads forward together to read the text on her phone.
Me: Hey, rumor has it you’ve got a girlfriend. That true? That why you haven’t been sexting me?
Unbreakable: No.
Me: No what?
Unbreakable: No girlfriend.
I drag my vision back up and shoot Erin a look while doing my best to hide my emotions, although the lump in my throat is making it a bit more than difficult.
What the hell am I upset about? That I wanted her to be right, but knew she was wrong? Because right when I had my hope placed in him again he let me down like he always does? You’ve met him. You knew she was wrong about him thinking of me as his girlfriend, didn’t you?
“You two are so funny.” Mandy shakes her head putting her phone away. “One day I’m gonna get the jokes…”
“One day.” Erin emphasizes.
“Hey, Mandy, the movie starts in twenty minutes,” her friend finally speaks.
“Oh yeah! Gotta go.” She waves us off and then takes her red heel covered feet and clicks away leaving a trail of stale perfume and disappoint behind her.
“She came. She talked. She annoyed.” Erin rolls her eyes before turning to me. I let the corner of my lip curl upward. “Look, Maxx—”
“Nope,” I cut her off and pretend to care about the clothing rack in front of me. “I don’t wanna hear it.”
“But Maxx—”
“No, Erin. Not listening.”
“Damn it! I—”
“Ladies,” a voice I recognize interrupts.
Turning around I smile widely. “Hey C.J. What are you doing here?”
“Wardrobe.” He gives me a small hug before attempting to hug Erin.
She holds up a finger to stop and wags it at him.
Before he can question it I sigh. “She’s just pissy because she was wrong.”
“I’m not wrong, Maxx!”
“Dead wrong,” I repeat this time looking at C.J. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
Wearily, he rests his hand on the rack behind Erin so she’s now sandwiched between us. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Erin and I croak out in unison again.
We’ve been friends most of our lives, is it really that shocking that it happens?
“Okay…” C.J. shrugs. “Can you two at least tell me why it smells like sadness and poodles next to you?”
The joke makes the two of us chuckle before Erin playfully pushes against his chest. It’s a flirty kind of push and, by the way he smirks back at her, he knows it.
Well at least she knows he wants her. That’s more than I can say about my situation right now. Oh. No. Don’t start. I wasn’t listening to Erin. And I don’t wanna listen to you either. Not right now. Just…let it go.
After Erin decides on my outfit and assures me it will fit, I linger around, since she is my ride home, while she makes demands about the type of jeans C.J. should wear.
“I can’t wear these.” He swings the dressing room door open with an obviously displeased look on his face. “These things are hugging my boys a little too tight.”
Erin shoves her free hand on her hip. “Now you know why they’re call nut huggers.”
“Babe, only two things should ever be hugging my nuts and jeans aren’t one of them.” He wiggles his dark eyebrows at her and she growls out in disgust.
“Fine,” Erin sneers. “I’ll be back.”
As soon as she’s out of earshot he leans against the dressing room door clearly uncomfortable in his jeans. “Please tell me she doesn’t hate me as much as she pretends to.”
With a smile I lean back against the pillar I’m sitting on the floor beside.
Gross to sit on a department store floor? Probably. But I don’t see any chairs around and I’ve begun to realize that Erin is easier to handle sitting down than standing up. That’s why you’re handling her so well isn’t it?
“She doesn’t hate you.” I look at C.J. with a grin. “She actually really likes you.”
His green eyes light up as his shoulders finally relax in his green polo that makes them pop. “Yeah?”
He really is a good looking guy. Aside from the male model build, his features are sharp but inviting when he looks relaxed. Or when he’s being cocky.
“Oh God yeah. When it comes to guys she likes, think of Erin like an elementary school boy. If she pulls your hair or throws rocks at you, it’s because she likes you. Fear when she’s being too nice to you. It means something bad is coming.”
“Bad like knee to the nuts bad?”
“Bad like medical assistance is needed to remove your testicles from your esophagus bad.”
C.J. smiles at me and nods his approval. “So what’s got you in a funk?”
Quickly I shake my head. “I’m not in a funk.”
“She said with a funky attitude.”
I glare.
Anyone who spends too much time around Erin always starts to sound like her.
“Come on, talk to me. What’s up?” When I don’t say anything he sighs. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I could help? Obviously you and Erin don’t see eye to eye on the situation, so maybe an objective third party could bring in an extra perspective?”
Well there’s you! But wait, no…you aren’t objective…
“Fine. Let’s pretend there is a guy who has a reputation for being…well…a man slut—”
C.J. chuckles. “A man slut?”
“That’s putting it mildly. Anyway, he has a rep for being a man slut, but then all of sudden starts fooling around with this girl, but cuts off fooling around with everyone else, but then when asked if she’s his girlfriend, he says no. What do you make of that?”
“That Logan is chicken shit.” C.J.’s answer catches me off guard. With a fake innocent smile he says, “Oh, was I not supposed to gather that’s who this conversation is about?”
Was I that obvious?
“Anyone who has ever seen Logan look in your general direction for longer than five seconds knows he’s got it bad for you.”
“Apparently he didn’t get that memo.”
“He got it.” C.J. scratches the back of his neck. “He just doesn’t wanna read it.”
And how is that supposed to make me feel better?
“Look, Logan cutting off his pussy supply means big things. Honestly, look at his past. He’s used to getting any girl he wants, right?”
“And every girl.”
“Right, and now there’s only one he wants and he’s not getting her the way he wants, right?”
Intrigued, I nod. “Go on…”
“So he’s trying without trying. Instead of just going balls deep in it and saying, ‘Hey, let’s date’, he’s skating around it by making sure you know that if you enter that territory, you’re the only one in it. And while he may not be comfortable calling you his girlfriend—”
“Because he’s chicken shit.”
What? It’s nice to hear someone outside the group think of Logan in a non high fashion.
“Right.” C.J. tries to fight the desire to laugh. “While he may not be comfortable calling you his girlfriend because he’s chicken shit, it’s obvious
to see he’s wandering that way. He just needs time. And opportunity. I’d say stay patient. He’ll come around.”
“Yeah? How do you know?”
“Because I’m in your shoes…” His response ends as Erin walks up with another two pairs of jeans in her hand.
“Alright, Mr. Bitch and Moan, I brought you two more pairs of jeans to try on.” Erin groans as she holds them out for him.
C.J. reaches for them while smirking. “If you had a rock right now, would you throw it at me?”
She lowers her eyelids to convey a bitchy look. “If I had a rock right now, I’d beat you over the head with it.”
He peers around her and gives me a wink before sneaking back off into the dressing room.
Immediately Erin spins to me. “Did he just wink at you?”
I shake my head and she quickly turns back around.
Here’s a hint for dealing with a Hart, never let them know if you’re playing both sides of something. It’s the only way to live, because if they find out you were secretly trying to do something to help them, or say help them find someone to fall in love with, they will commit bodily harm. No exaggeration. Logan tried to hook Erin up behind her back once, a simple blind date with a guy who, looks wise, was totally her type. When they got home, she nailed Logan so hard in the nuts I thought he was gonna have to have them surgically removed. The thought alone makes me shudder. You too?
Do you think C.J. is right? Do you think that Logan is doing the only things he can think of to prove that he wants me to be…well his girlfriend? First, he wouldn’t fuck me in the car, now he’s taking me out on dates, and then there’s the added bonus that he’s not hooking up with anyone else. That’s gotta be something right? Wait. Didn’t Erin point out those same things to me just a little while ago? Do not tell her she was right.
Swear it.
“Hey Erin, what do you say we grab a drink after this?” C.J. strolls out kicking his legs in the new jeans to make more room.
“I would love to…but I have to take Maxx home.” Her fake attempt at pretending to be sad just makes him smile.
