“You would condemn your friend?” Liv’s mother asks me. She looks at me like she’s finally seeing the monster she believes I’ve become.
Standing straighter and with a firm voice, I say, “Liv is not my friend anymore.”
“And I suppose we are no longer your family?” Mamá asks.
I shake my head. “No, not anymore.” My voice is faint, but I know she hears me. Jasik caresses my skin with his thumb, and I soften a little, taking a deep breath and clearing my thoughts. First, I deal with the witches. Later, I’ll figure out what that blood oath entails.
“How can you say that?” Liv’s mother shouts. She doesn’t hide her disgust. Like her temper, her frizzy hair whips out at me with even a subtle breeze.
Mamá gasps, shaking her head. “¿Qué te han hecho?”
Instantly angry by Mamá’s words, I lash out, withholding nothing. “What have they done to me? Do you want the truth, Mamá? They’ve loved me, supported me, protected me… They’ve done everything you were supposed to do as my mother!”
“¡Cállate, niña!” Mamá shouts. “Do you think these beasts truly care for you?”
“I know they do.” I squeeze Jasik’s hand, and he returns the sensation. Lifting our interlocked hands, I rest our fists against my chest.
“Eres un tonto,” Mamá says.
“I’m no fool, Mamá. For once, I see the truth,” I say. I lower my arms so our hands are back at our sides.
“¿De qué estás hablando?”
“I’m talking about how you never cared about me, Mamá.” Tears are hot and sticky behind my lids. They pool in my eyes, but I don’t care. I need the witches to see that they did this to themselves. They made their bed, and now they must lie in it. If only they had accepted me and been kind to the vampires, they wouldn’t be alone now. Their prejudice is costing Liv her life, but that is their sacrifice, not mine.
Never fond of dramatic behavior, Mamá rolls her eyes, waving off my heavy emotions.
“I tried to help you. How many times did I come to your house? How many times did I save you from the rogues? You told me never to return,” I say, throat coarse.
“No dije eso,” Mamá says.
Sniffling, I wipe away the single tear that escapes my hold. “You’re right. You didn’t say that. Liv said that. But you didn’t stop her, and you let me leave.”
“You don’t belong there anymore,” Mamá says.
I nod. “I know. I belong here.”
Mamá shakes her head. “Don’t do this, mija. Come with us. Help us find her.”
I frown. Why is she trying so hard to convince me to go with them? An itchy sensation is making its way from my heart to my brain. This is starting to feel like a setup.
“No,” I say firmly.
“Let’s go, Tatiana,” Liv’s mother says as she glances at my mother.
Mamá looks at me with disappointment in her eyes. “We thought you would help because—”
“Because she was your best friend,” Liv’s mother interrupts.
“She was, but you said it yourself. My place is here. I don’t belong with you anymore.”
With one final glance, Mamá turns on her heels and leaves. The witches follow, each offering single glances of disapproval. When they’re finally gone, I sigh, releasing tension I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Are you okay?” Jasik asks.
“I am,” I lie. Not because I want to or because I think he can’t handle the truth. I lie because the desire within me to obey Amicia’s order is a crushing wave that’s suffocating me. I’m drowning in a whirlpool of her words and my promise to abide by them.
Chapter Three
The more distance I put between the manor and me, the better I feel. My head clears, my erratic emotions wane, and I can finally breathe. The ever-constant clutter of Amicia’s words no longer swirl in my mind, allowing me to think freely for the first time since this whole mess started.
I was happy—finally, truly happy. I released myself from familial obligations and vowed devotion to the vampires. I was one step closer to a life free of insults and betrayal. And then the witches showed up. Can they sense my happiness? Is that how they always know the best time to ruin my day?
I imagine Mamá has some kind of crystal ball that she stares into, witnessing my private and most cherished moments. Like a tiger hunting a gazelle, she pounces, digging her claws in so deeply, she shatters bone.
I rub my arm, feeling the sharp, cold blade sliding through flesh—my flesh. I fear I may never shake that dream, or nightmare, or premonition. Whatever it was, it haunts me. I shake, and Jasik notices. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him watching me. I don’t dare look up to him. I don’t want him to know just how affected I am by both the witches’ request and by my nightmare.
“Is everything okay?” Jasik asks, ignoring my silent plea not to ask me any questions.
I don’t respond. I’m not sure what to say. Can I be honest with him? Should I tell him about the blood oath I made to Amicia? Will he be angry that I made a blood promise to someone other than my sire? I don’t know anything about this sacrifice, and my naïvety makes me feel uneasy. I was blindsided, given no other option but to submit to her request. Jasik will understand that…right?
He eyes me curiously, his gaze lingering. My breath catches, and my cheeks are warm. The worst part about being this pale is that my formerly tan skin no longer hides my emotions. Mamá used to say I wear my heart on my sleeve, and that definitely hasn’t changed, even after death. The only difference is now my own body betrays my secrets.
I turn away from his gaze and pretend to stare into the distance. I act like I’m patrolling, which is the whole point of walking the woods tonight, but hunting is the last thing on my mind. I don’t like that we’re acting as though nothing happened.
I turned away the witches, and the vampires decided to continue with their scheduled patrols. We’re all pretending like we’re the only ones in the woods tonight, but I know that’s not true. Somewhere out there, the witches are walking home, disappointed in my decision and angry enough to retaliate. Doesn’t that bother anyone besides me?
I exhale sharply, stress eating away at my core. I can’t stop thinking about Liv. I wonder if she’s okay. It’s stupid to think about these things, but I need to know if she’s hurt, hungry, scared… Silently, I call out to her with my mind. I apologize for abandoning her when she needs me, and I beg her to understand. I have no choice but to follow orders. No longer part of my former coven, I’m not a witch anymore. Of course, my silent prayers fall upon deaf ears. Liv isn’t a spirit witch, so she can’t respond if she can’t hear me.
“I know you’re upset,” Jasik says. He distracts me from my mental berating long enough for me to welcome my anger once again.
“I am,” I admit.
I cross my arms over my chest and kick at the brush beneath my feet. The world is cold, and the ground is hard, crunchy, and layered in frost. The forest is lifeless, but it sparkles. The moonlight glistens across the dead grass and bare trees. Snow can make nature’s worst season so beautiful.
“I wish you wouldn’t take this decision personally,” Jasik says.
I scoff. “How can I not?”
“This has nothing to do with you. Amicia made her decision because experience has proven they cannot be trusted.”
“Oh, I know… They are witches, and we are vampires, and there can’t possibly be peace or happiness. There’s no such thing as morals because we’re mortal enemies, right?”
My voice is erratic, my body dramatic. I emphasize my words with the help of frantic hand gestures. I know I’m acting like a child, but this whole situation is ridiculous. I am surrounded by stubborn people who are content living a hellish life fueled by feuds and vengeance. Why can’t they see it doesn’t have to be this way?
“Ava,” Jasik says. He’s disappointed in me, and that hurts more than the look on Mamá’s face when I told her I wouldn’t help find Liv, but I�
��m too far gone. I’m too wrapped up in my own anger to see through Jasik’s words.
“What?” I snap.
“You’re not being fair,” he says.
Shocked, I stop abruptly and turn to face him. “Seriously? I’m the one being unfair? You know what’s not fair? Letting Liv die because of some ridiculous feud!”
“Yes, that’s not right either. I regret that the cost of what’s happened is your friend’s life, but can’t you see that you’re being a bit childish too?”
I furrow my brows, narrowing my eyes so he understands just how upset I truly am. “Don’t you call me childish.” I’m pointing my index finger at his chest, and with each word, I jab it into his flesh.
Amusement sparks behind his long lashes, and that makes me even angrier. How can he find this funny? I happen to think this is the worst situation I’ve ever been in, and I died recently. So that’s saying a lot.
“This isn’t funny, Jasik,” I say, seething.
“Well—”
“Well what?”
“It is a little funny.” He shows me just how funny he thinks it is with his thumb and index finger.
Exasperated, I exhale sharply and turn on my heel to continue patrolling. “I don’t expect you to understand. Do you even have a best friend? I mean, when was the last time someone actually wanted to spend time with you as opposed to being forced to courtesy of Queen Amicia?”
He stops walking. I don’t see him, but I hear the sudden halt of his feet. The untouched snow before him should be marked with his shoe prints, but it’s not. The vacant white abyss beside me nearly chokes the life from my body. I turn to face him, immediately regretting my words.
“Jasik…” I shake my head, searching for something to say that would justify my behavior. I went too far. I was too harsh. I can’t believe I took out my frustration on the one person I actually care to be around right now.
“It’s okay. You’re upset,” he says, shrugging off my concern as he walks toward me.
He plays it cool, like my words don’t affect him, but I see the shock and sadness in his eyes. Pointing out that he has essentially been alone—without his blood family and childhood friends—for far too many years was a low blow on my part. I had no right to be such a jerk. A hundred years from now, the last thing I’d want is to be reminded that everyone I ever loved is dead—and that I’ll never see them again.
“No, it’s not. It’s never okay for me to talk to you like that. I didn’t mean what I said.”
“Vampires live a different life than mortals,” Jasik says.
“I know.”
“We don’t necessarily get to choose our sires or our subsequent obligations after the transition.”
What kills me more than that quick flash of pain behind his eyes is the fact that he feels the need to justify himself to me. He doesn’t need to explain why he lives the way he lives or why his life has been focused on eradicating rogues rather than making friends.
“I know,” I say again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“Hunters spend their lives protecting vampires,” he continues. “We don’t have time to make friends.”
I close the space between us and grab his hands. I squeeze them slightly and rub my thumbs over his cool skin. “I’m sorry.”
He smiles. “It’s okay.”
“I’m just upset. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
He shakes his head. “No, you shouldn’t have, but you should talk about it.”
I pull away from him and step back. “There isn’t anything to talk about.”
“Ava, stop this. I’m your sire. That’s not just some superficial bond. Being your sire means I am here for you, always. You can talk to me about anything.”
The moment I decide to tell him about the dark promise I made to Amicia, my throat closes. A knot so tight and thick forms, it prevents me from revealing my blood oath.
Misunderstanding my hesitation, Jasik continues. “I know you’re angry with Amicia’s decision, but is that all that’s bothering you?”
Again, I try to tell him what Amicia made me do, but I swallow my words. Something inside me is screaming to speak, to admit my fault, to explain the blood oath, but in that same breath, something else squashes the desire. I’m torn between admitting the truth and dealing with the fallout and living in blissful ignorance. Maybe my concern is for nothing. Maybe a blood promise is common and there really is nothing to worry about.
“Ava?” Jasik squints, eyes concerned. Right about now, he’s probably wishing he can read minds. I’m thankful he can’t.
Finally finding my voice, I say, “I just hate to abandon Liv. It’s not right. The cost of our feud shouldn’t be her death.”
Jasik exhales slowly, loudly, his eyes assessing me. “I agree.”
He knows I’m hiding something. His gaze is piercing, as if he can see straight through to my soul. I gnaw on my lower lip, waiting for him to continue.
“But Amicia has made her decision,” he says.
“And she speaks for all?” I ask, wondering how many others would have sided with me if they didn’t fear her backlash.
Jasik nods. “As long as we are members of her nest, she does.”
My heart sinks. Is this really how it will be from now on? If being a vampire means making enemies and helping those only deemed worthy by Amicia, then I want no part of this new life or my new family.
We haven’t spoken since Jasik explained saving Liv is a lost cause. I’m angry with him for siding with Amicia over me. I wonder if he’d still care for his precious Amicia if he knew about the dark promise she forced me to make. Would he be upset knowing she basically cornered me and gave me no other option besides homelessness?
Every time I want to spill the beans about his fearless leader, something prevents me from speaking. I want him to feel my pain, my anger, but I don’t want him to be mad at me.
I want to be wrong about Amicia. I want to believe her and trust in the blood oath. I want my home and family to be safe, but I can’t fight the rising anguish that threatens to overwhelm me. I hate that I doubt her, but I can’t help myself.
The deeper into the woods we travel, the more difficult the trek. I kick at a lush pile of snow with my military boots, and the tip of my shoe is dusted with fluff. The contrast between the stark white woodlands and my black hunting attire is jarring. Jasik is dressed to match, and I now understand why human hunters spend so much time in the apparel department. A rogue could spot us with very little effort.
The forest seems to travel for miles and miles, as if it has no end, but I know this isn’t true. In fact, it ends rather abruptly where it touches Darkhaven. In one step, the world goes from endless rows of trees to a concrete slab, from nature to city in the blink of an eye.
I scan the trees, my gaze settling on the expansive wilderness. I see trees and more trees and even more trees in the distance. The air is cool and makes my skin tingle. I’ve learned this is how my senses distinguish different temperatures, because I’m essentially unaffected by them. I know it’s cold, but I don’t feel it. Walking the woods on this dark winter eve, I am content.
“It’s snowing,” Jasik says.
I glance at him. Just as I’m about to point out it’s not snowing, a single flurry flutters before me and lands on my nose. I cross my eyes, trying to fixate on it. My vision blurs, eyes straining to focus on something so close and so small. I reach for the flake, accidentally squashing it with my fingertip.
I frown at my hand, where there is now a droplet of water. It’s so small I almost can’t see it. A human certainly couldn’t. I turn to face Jasik, and the sky erupts. We are showered and coated in white. I laugh and brush off the snow that has covered Jasik’s shoulders. He smiles when more covers the space I’ve just cleared.
Arms flanked out at my sides, I stare at the sky and spin in circles, watching as flakes drift all around me. Some small and some so large I can see their crystallized forms, they smack agains
t my skin, sending a rush of vibrations down my spine at the startling sensation of being assaulted by something so weak.
Jasik stares at me, smiling widely as I enjoy the rush. A bolt of electricity surges through me at the charge from my heightened senses. The snow falls in a perfect swirling tornado of soft white bliss. The cold drops of shimmery ice speckle my face, sending goose bumps down my arms. I feel my skin prickle even under my jacket, and I shudder at the sensation. My nose is wet and pink, my lips dry and tight. But my heart is happy, and my pain is gone.
In these moments, when life seems so perfect, I forget clarity comes with a price. In Darkhaven, there is no such thing as peace.
I’m giggling, eyes wide with joy and heart racing from excitement, when we make eye contact.
Several yards away, he stands beside a tree. Blocked partially by a fallen branch, his form is obscured behind the brush, but I don’t miss his eyes. One set of crimson irises that have an icy glow, laser-targeted right at me.
I’m running before Jasik even realizes what’s happened. I hear him call out to me, shouting for me to stop, to wait, but inside, I’m burning. My magic is bubbling within my core, and it aches to be released.
Chapter Four
The snowfall is heavy. Unlike Jasik, I didn’t sense the incoming storm, and I certainly didn’t plan to hunt a rogue in the midst of a blizzard.
When I reach the tree, my prey is long gone. Having seen my approach, he must have retreated. The skin on the back of my neck tingles, and I turn, sure I’ll see him watching me. I don’t. I can barely see even a few feet in front of me. The thick, white blanket coating the earth is making it difficult even to track his footsteps.
I crouch, finding craters in the fresh snow, but the divots are quickly filled in. I curse and swipe my hand through it, smacking the fluff and sending it flying into a nearby bush.
Standing, I scan my surroundings. I consider shouting for Jasik, who should have reached my side by now, but I don’t. I can’t let the rogue know where I am. I take comfort knowing if I can’t see him, he can’t see me. I assume this is why Jasik hasn’t called for me since I left him behind to chase a rogue vampire.
Dark Promise (Darkhaven Saga Book 3) Page 3
