Finally understanding why I’ve felt so…off since the oath, I swallow the knot in my throat. I have felt like a foreign essence has plagued my body, and I’ve wanted nothing more than to shake it free. Amicia is inside me now. Her blood is mixed with my blood, and it will remain there forevermore.
“Why would you do that?” I ask, my voice soft. “Why did you force me to make that blood oath? You knew it was wrong. You knew what you were doing.”
I cross my arms over my chest, holding myself. Every second I wait for Amicia to respond, I grow more upset. I’m not just angry with her. I’m…hurt. She was well aware that I just left a controlling coven, and she thought it would be a good idea to take even more of my freedom from me?
Scratching at my skin, I feel dirty. I feel her everywhere. Her essence surrounds me, smothering me. I feel like I can’t breathe, can’t think. I want to get her blood out of my system, but I know I will never be free of her. Jasik’s explanation of a blood oath’s consequences has made that clear. I have eternity on this planet, and I will spend it with her inside my head.
Amicia frowns, her eyes sad. But is she upset because she’s been outed? Jasik knows what she did, and she’ll have to answer for it.
The two sires exchange odd glances. Their angry glares are bone-chilling as both wait for the other to speak first. Amicia is the first to budge.
“I didn’t have you make the oath as some form of betrayal to your sire,” Amicia says when she looks at me. “I wasn’t trying to control you. I did it to protect you.”
I scoff. “Excuse me? How is forcing me to do this protective? Ever since I took the oath, I’ve felt…different. Dirty. I hate myself for doing this with you.”
Amicia sighs. “I understand your frustration, but in time, you’ll understand. You’re new to this life. You think it’s hard now, but it is only going to get worse.”
Suddenly overcome with anger, I shout, not caring about containing my rage or being respectful toward my elder. “Stop! Stop acting like I’m some child you must protect. You don’t need to shield me from this world. And while you’re at it, stop making decisions about my life without consulting me!”
“Ava, calm down,” Amicia says. It is not a request, but I’m too far gone to care.
“No!” I yell.
“I made you take the oath because I know this transition has been difficult for you. Most vampires don’t reside so close to their former lives. I wanted to make forsaking the witches easier. I promise, that was my only intention. I don’t wish to control you.”
“You don’t get to decide these things, Amicia. You’re not my sire, and you’re not me. I can make my own decisions about how I live my life and the relationships I keep. I don’t need you to make my transition easier, and I certainly don’t want you to make me some emotionless zombie. I’m tired of being treated like a child!”
“Then stop acting like one,” Malik says firmly.
“Excuse me?” I say, seething. I’m starting to understand why he has such trouble expressing his emotions. Maybe Amicia did her voodoo on him too.
“If you want to be treated like an adult, stop acting like a child. It’s as simple as that, Ava. You’re rash, emotional, and have no respect for authority. While I don’t agree with what Amicia did, I understand it,” Malik says. He turns to his brother and says, “And you should too.”
“What she did was wrong,” I say.
“Yes, it was. Amicia should have consulted your sire. But Jasik hasn’t been able to control you either, so Amicia stepped in.”
“Control me?” Why does everyone want to control me?
“Ava, these witches have given you every chance to walk away,” Malik says. “They cast you out and betray you just about every time you rush over to save them. Your ties to them are rooted so deeply, you can’t even see how blinded you are by your devotion to them.”
“I know you feel I’m trying to control you by performing the blood oath, but really, I was trying to free you from the hold they have on you,” Amicia says. “I knew my decision not to help your missing friend wouldn’t sit well, so I tried to make it easier for you. I promise, I had no ulterior motives.”
“I don’t believe you,” I say.
“You don’t have to,” Amicia says, “though it is the truth.”
“What Amicia did was wrong—and will never happen again—but I do believe her,” Jasik says. “You didn’t drink from each other, and your promise to her wasn’t anything life-changing.”
“Seriously? I’m not sure Liv would agree with that,” I say. I can’t believe Jasik is siding with the very person he was so angry with only moments ago. How does she have this effect on everyone in her life? Is it simply their sire bond, or does she have some magical powers I have yet to learn myself?
“You said you promised not to search for the witch yourself. To me, that does sound like she was trying to protect you,” Jasik says. “I know you feel you can trust these witches, but something doesn’t feel right about this. The rogue vampires literally just threatened the same thing. How can you trust this isn’t yet another trap?”
I shake my head, frustrated. I know he’s right. It might be a trap, but I didn’t want to risk Liv’s life. That’s why I asked for their help. And if I am truly tied to them as severely as they say, this would be a good opportunity to sever the ties that bind us. Separating myself from the coven shouldn’t mean someone’s death.
“Will said he can help me find her,” I say softly.
The room falls silent. The vampires exchange sideways glances, not even bothering to hide them. I wait for someone to speak, hoping they will see the error of their ways and offer me the help I—and Liv—so rightfully deserve.
“And you believe him?” Amicia asks.
“I do. I think he wants to prove to me that he’s an ally, and what better way to do that than by helping me when my own nestmates refuse to?”
I know my comment is pointed and harsh and a bit childish, but I don’t care. I think about my promise to Amicia and Jasik’s explanation of what the oath means. I have to abide by it. It’s unbreakable, but if she truly meant no harm, then she was just trying to protect me. If she truly believes the witches are a threat, then she wouldn’t want me to go alone. She doesn’t trust them, yet she believes I still harbor a familial bond. So she would expect me to break my promise to her.
Ever since Liv went missing, I haven’t thought much about rescuing her. In fact, the only time I considered looking for her was when I discussed her disappearance with Will.
“That’s the secret, isn’t it?” I say, pretending the vampires were following my train of thought.
“Excuse me?” Amicia says, her confusion evident.
“The oath cannot be broken, but you only made me promise not to look for Liv on my own. I promised not to search for her by myself. You never made me promise not to look for her with someone else.”
“Ava,” Amicia says, her tone a clear warning. I shouldn’t be testing her like this, I know that, but she should have been clearer when we made our oath. It’s almost as if she intentionally provided me with a loophole just to see what I’d do. Sadly, I am going to fail this test.
“This is my way out,” I say. “If I search for her with someone, I’m not breaking your oath.”
“Do you really believe you can trust him?” Amicia asks.
“I do.”
“I certainly hope you can, Ava, because you’re risking your life if you can’t,” Amicia says.
Realizing that the vampires and I will never agree on this, I sigh and glance at Jasik. His wounded heart is betrayed by his longing eyes. He doesn’t want me to go, to leave with Will, but I don’t think he’ll ask me to stay. He understands my desire for freedom and for answers. I can achieve both with Will.
“I don’t have a lot of time,” I say, glancing out the window. Already, the sky is brightening. If Will and I are going to cast a locater spell, we’ll need to do so soon. We can’t risk being too far
from shelter when the sun rises.
With my head down, I walk past the others, not daring to look anyone in the eye as I retreat. I push open the door to the butler’s pantry but stop short of leaving the room when Jasik calls to me. The pain in his voice is unbearable. It’s filled with so much sorrow, I’m forced to look at him. As my sire tries to rush to my side, Amicia stops him. She grabs on to his arm, lightly holding him back. He doesn’t fight against her.
“Ava must make this decision for herself. She can stay with us or leave with him. Either way, the decision must be hers.”
And with one final, painful glance, I leave.
Chapter Twelve
In the distance, I distinctly hear the sound of Jasik’s voice. He calls to me, a plea to return. I ignore him.
I’m already running. I exit the manor, slamming the front door behind me as I leap off the porch. I land at the foot of the steps in a heap and then dash through the yard and exit through the main gate. The Victorian manor looms behind me, and I give it one final glance before the woods envelop me.
The wind is fluttering through my hair, tousling what has already become messy from an eventful day. The falling snow coats my skin, and I push hair from my eyes, tucking it behind my ears.
I don’t know where I’m going, but I had to escape the manor. Frustrated by Amicia’s actions and annoyed with her words, I can’t spend another second in her house without doing something I would certainly regret later. Tonight, I need space.
If the others are right and I am blinded by my ties to my former life, then I need to sever them for good. I’m tired of everyone in this town having power over me and my life. Jasik is my sire, Amicia is my leader, and the witches are my life’s blood. They all influence my decisions so much, I don’t even remember who I am anymore.
But no more.
Tonight, I will take back control. I just need to find Will first.
I return to the last place I saw him and attempt to track him courtesy of winter. I crouch down, scanning the land, but the new-fallen snow has already coated the ground, filling the craters of his footprints.
I curse inwardly and kick at what should have been easy tracking. When I stand, I spin in circles, considering Will’s options. We left him earlier to fend for himself, knowing it won’t be dark for long. Where would a new-to-town hybrid go? Where could he stay when the sun rises? Or has he already left Darkhaven for good? I fear I’m too late.
Just as I consider shouting his name for the whole village to hear, something rustles in the distance. The sound of brush snapping under weight echoes in my mind. I catch a flash of a figure standing behind a tree, and I cross my fingers that it’s him. Finding Liv without Will’s help will prove problematic, thanks to the oath I made.
Charging steadfast into the unknown, I run toward the creature, silently hoping I’m not running toward some wicked ambush. I don’t have time to fight witches or rogues. I barely have time to perform a locater spell with Will before the sun rises.
By the time I reach the base of a thick pine tree and circle it twice, I realize no one is there. Save for mine, there are no footprints in the snow either. Did I imagine what I saw? Am I so desperate to find Will that I’m now hallucinating help?
I scratch at my scalp, considering my options. Groaning, I begin walking farther into the woods. I’m venturing closer to town and farther from the manor, and I still have no clue where I’m going or what I’ll do when the sun rises. Lost in my thoughts, I don’t notice the onlooker.
“Couldn’t stay away, could you?” someone says.
Heart pounding, I spin to see Will. He leans against a tree, smiling. Relief washes over me, and I waste no time.
“You said you would help me find Liv,” I say as I close the distance between us.
He nods. “I did.”
His jacket is caked in white, and his hair is damp. I wonder if he waited for me to return to him. Perhaps he knows me better than I even know myself. He must have assumed my curiosity would get the best of me, because he didn’t leave when I chose the others over him.
“Does that offer still stand?” I ask.
“It does.” He runs a hand through his hair, and it snags in his locks. He brushes strands from his eyes as he watches me closely.
“No strings attached?” I confirm.
He chuckles and throws his arms up in defeat. “I just want to help. That’s all. I’m expecting nothing in return.”
Satisfied with his answer, I say, “Then tell me what I need to do.”
We sit cross-legged in the snow. With my hand, I draw a half circle, connecting the two ends to the opposite side Will has drawn. Together, we sit inside of a fully formed circle—our own version of a perfect ritual space.
Of course, we’re missing key items, like candles or relics to represent the elements. We aren’t surrounded by a coven of witches, and we don’t have a grimoire that harnesses the ancient spells. If we want to find Liv, we must do this by memory, trust, and faith alone.
Even without these things, the familiar pull of magic is already tugging within me. Will’s eyes burn brightly as he stares at me, smiling, and I wonder if he misses this. How long has it been since he performed a ritual? How long has he been alone?
I scan our surroundings. This ritual will leave us both vulnerable, but thankfully, the woods are barren. The cold and snow have kept away most animals, and it’s too late in the night for passersby. I fear the witches will return, but I pray their earlier loss will force them indoors until the morning.
I think about the last time I completed a locater spell. It’s been years. I’m not sure I remember the incantation. If we turned to the coven for help, they would be surrounding us now. They would be chanting in Latin and casting a spell to strengthen our power. Their arms would be cast out beside them, their heads tilted back so they stare at the moon. There would be candles to represent the elements, and they would be harnessing the power of the night.
Will and I have none of these things now. We have no coven to turn to, no spells to rely on. The strength that will save Liv must come from within us. If we—two hybrids—haven’t the magic to locate her, no one does. Even so, I can’t help but wonder if we’re fools for trying such a complicated spell without assistance. What if things go awry? Can I trust Will to bring me back from the edge?
“Are you ready?” Will asks.
His crimson gaze is piercing, and I feel my pulse rising. Practicing magic with someone is an intimate experience. I’m not sure I’m ready to rely on Will, a stranger, in such ways.
“I’m not sure what to do,” I admit.
“We’re going to link and share our power. With my strength and your connection to the witch, I think we can locate her as long as she hasn’t gone too far from Darkhaven.”
I swallow hard. “And how do we…link?”
“It’s a form of bloodletting,” Will says. “Our magic courses through our veins. This is why vampire blood can heal a mortal.”
Understanding what’s expected of me, I nod, but my nerves never settle. I want to find Liv, but I’m not sure I want to expose myself to Will in this way. Bloodletting is a tricky practice, and it’ll be even harder as a half-vampire hybrid. It will take a great deal of magic and strength to do this successfully.
Will smiles, calming my inner turmoil. “Don’t worry. I’ll do most of the work. You just follow my lead.”
I nod and watch as he bites into his wrist, fangs tearing through flesh. My stomach churns as the smell of his blood coats the air. It’s thick and nauseating but strangely seductive. I lick my lips, staring at his wound. Blood seeps down his arm, staining the white snow between us in crimson.
“Ava,” Will says, breaking my concentration. He ushers me to do the same.
I freeze and think about how Amicia made me commit a far too similar act. Her blood oath ritual ripped away my freedom. No longer able to act on my own, I succumbed to her will and made promises I wasn’t prepared to make.
I kno
w Will has no intention of controlling me, but still, the initial fear remains. Bloodletting makes no promises, and though it’s a vulnerable practice, it’s not the same as a blood oath. If this is the only way to find Liv without asking the witches for help, then I need to let down my guard, walk to the edge, and leap. I must trust Will, or our locater spell will never find her.
I exhale slowly, loudly, but it’s unsuccessful at easing my nerves. I bring my wrist to my lips, hesitating ever so slightly. My throat tightens, but I don’t stop. The moment my fangs pierce my skin, I taste my own blood. It’s sweet and thick and fills my mouth. I slurp it down before pulling away from my wound.
Eyes wide, I stare at my bloody wrist. I tore into my own flesh with every intention of saving the life of someone who wants nothing to do with me. How has it come to this? Why do I keep feeling this innate desire to help the witches, to protect my blood relatives? Amicia was right; being so close to Darkhaven clouds my judgment. Maybe distance is all I need to see things clearly. When this is over, I might really leave with Will and never look back.
“Quickly. Before our magic can heal us,” Will says as he slaps his wound to mine.
Wrist to wrist, I grab on to his arm. He does the same. Where our bodies connect, his blood enters my wound, coursing through my veins. Streams of crimson swirling together, I can’t sense where his essence ends and mine begins.
Closing my eyes, I sway back and forth, relishing in the feeling of Will’s power. It seeps into me, filling my body with raw, pure, untapped energy.
Will is strong—too strong. His strength is similar to Amicia’s power, and the thought makes me shudder. Underneath Will’s friendly gaze, a dangerous, powerful predator lurks. It reminds me of the foreign presence I acknowledge within my own soul. Something about being a hybrid makes me feel like the magic inside me isn’t truly mine, like it knows it’s unnatural and shouldn’t exist and it has intentions of its own.
The air tingles around us as our blood magic takes control of my mind. It separates me from the physical world, and I welcome its embrace. I no longer feel the cool, brisk air dancing across my skin. The cold snow beneath me vanishes into a pool of warmth. The trees surrounding us are gone. I don’t even feel Will’s gaze or sense the animals that slumber in the woods.
Dark Promise (Darkhaven Saga Book 3) Page 11
