by R. R. Banks
“Like you would be saying that he wasn’t a part of your life anymore,” I said, understanding into the depths of my soul what she meant.
It was exactly what I had felt, exactly what I had experienced every time that I made my way through the disposable women who found themselves in my bedroom. It wasn’t difficult because I had never even begun to have those feelings again, but then Ella changed everything.
She nodded.
“Then I met you. I couldn’t believe what I was feeling for you even after such a short time of being near you, and it scared me. I had to get away.”
“But I found you.”
“You found me.”
I stood up and took Ella’s hand helping her to her feet. I drew her closer to me so that our faces were within inches of each other, our breath lingering and mingling between us. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, pounding against my ribs as though it hadn’t beat in years, as though it were coming to life again. I brushed the tip of her nose with mine and leaned in to softly kiss her lips. They trembled slightly beneath mine and I pressed slightly further to deepen the kiss. Despite all that had already happened between us, I suddenly felt as though this were all new, like we were exploring each other in a new way now.
I stepped away from Ella and took her hand, leading her gently out of the restaurant and toward the elevator in the lobby. We rode it wrapped in each other’s arms, the rhythm of our bodies meeting each other so that soon our breath was synchronized and our heartbeats calling out to and answering each other. We didn’t speak a word as I led her into the apartment and into my bedroom. Our hands moved across each other’s bodies with reverence as we undressed and then tenderly outlined the other with our fingertips. I could feel her touch tracing each of my muscles as if memorizing them and I let mine travel into the dip of her waist and along the soft valley between her hip bones.
Later that night I called down to the Café to have the dinner that had been prepared for us delivered up to my apartment. Ella was still naked when I threw on pajama pants and a t-shirt to go to the door and get the food, ethereally beautiful in the glow of the lights from outside, her hair tousled and her lips slightly swollen. She remained that way even after I brought our dinner into the room and started to spread it out across the bed. I stripped out of my clothes again and slipped under the covers with her, wrapping one arm around her waist so I could pull close to her and kiss her. I felt deeply satisfied, my body and soul soothed by the soft, gentle way that I had made love to her that night. She had submitted to me with everything in her, offering me not just her body, but something that went far beyond it to a place that I felt only we could understand.
As we ate, I looked across the room at the window that overlooked Fifth Avenue. I knew that the nightlife was just heating up down there in the city, just beyond the glass. But I didn’t care. I didn’t need it. There was nowhere that I would rather be than right here in this room, in this bed, with Ella.
Epilogue
Ella
“So, what are we not going to do when we get inside?”
I looked down at Edmond where he stood beside me in the elevator and tousled his hair. It was getting long, the curls starting to show more around the base of his neck. I knew that there were people who were pushing me to cut it, but I was still refusing. I was going to enjoy the way he looked with it long, just for a little while longer.
“I’m not going to run around,” he said, the words drawn out as though he was just exhausted with having to repeat himself again for what was likely the hundredth time since we left Molly’s house.
“Good boy,” I said.
I had been going over that concept with him as much as I could in the last few days. It had been a year since the night that he had zoomed through the apartment and nearly ended everything before it could even start. I didn’t know how much of it he remembered, and I didn’t want to risk having history repeat itself. I was already nervous enough and I didn’t want this to get off on a bad foot. Though in my heart I knew that there was nothing that would make Mason react that way again. Especially toward Edmond. Over the last year the two of them had gotten incredibly close. Though Mason was cautious around him at first, unsure of how he was supposed to interact with a child since he had never spent time with any, and Edmond had been almost fearful, worried that at any moment Mason was going to explode on him again, the space between them had gradually closed. They learned about each other and found ways to connect.
It had been adorable watching them venture into each other’s worlds, introducing the other to what mattered to them in life as though they were absolute and total equals. Mason brought Edmond to work with him to show him the office, planned elaborate adventures for him, and got him into an exclusive school that I had dreamed of him attending but never thought that I would be able to manage. For his part, Edmond introduced Mason to his favorite toys, shared with him his relatively limited but enthusiastic knowledge about dinosaurs, and spent hours coloring with him. The two of them brought something out in each other that was hard to explain, but everything that I hoped that I would one day see.
Mason and I had been careful not to bring Edmond back to the apartment over the last few months, preferring to spend time together outside of our homes. It was important to both of us that he understand our relationship and that as things grew between us that he felt comfortable and safe. Now that I saw my son bouncing on his toes eagerly, excited to see Mason, I knew that there was nothing for us to worry about. This was exactly as it was supposed to be.
The elevator door opened, and we walked toward the apartment door where Mason was already standing, the grin so wide across his face that it created wrinkles around his eyes. I stepped up to him and he kissed me, his hand pressing both possessively and suggestively into the small of my back. Edmond walked carefully into the apartment and stopped in the foyer, his hands clasped in front of him.
“What’s this all about?” Mason asked, looking at my little boy’s uncharacteristically calm and contained behavior.
“Mama doesn’t want me to run around in here,” Edmond said matter-of-factly.
“Oh, she doesn’t?” Mason asked. “Why’s that?”
“She’s worried that I’m going to hurt something if I do that. Namely myself.”
I had to laugh. I didn’t realize that he was listening to me close enough to absorb that particular turn of phrase, but there it was. I leaned down and kissed him on the top of the head.
“I just wanted him to control himself and behave like he’s supposed to inside.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound like too much fun,” Mason said.
Edmond looked at him, his little head tilted as if he didn’t understand what Mason was saying. I mirrored his tilt, looking at Mason quizzically. I knew that lilt in his voice.
“What are you up to?” I asked.
“I just think that he’s not supposed to run around because he doesn’t have a place to run around.”
Mason’s eyes were sparkling, and I could see that he was trying to stop himself from smiling.
“What did you do?” I asked.
Mason shrugged and started out of the foyer and down the hallway. Edmond giggled and started after him, his gait becoming an awkward shuffle as he tried to both keep himself from running and keep up with Mason. We approached the door to one of the guest rooms and I noticed that there was a large wooden ‘E’ hanging on it.
“Go ahead,” Mason said.
Edmond grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open, letting out a squeal of pure joy as he rushed inside. I stepped into the room, immediately noticing that it was far larger than it had been. Mason had obviously had workers in to remove walls between this room and the next, creating a huge open space. In that space he had created an incredible indoor playground. Edmond didn’t know where to go first. He rushed to a trampoline and jumped on it for several seconds before leaping off and running to swings, then to a rock wall, then to a sandbox sitting on a large section of l
inoleum. A large artificial tree in the middle of the room spread its branches over the ceiling and nestled cushions in its roots. Bookshelves nearby overflowed with books and another corner contained every art supply that Edmond could have ever imagined.
I turned toward Mason.
“This is wonderful,” I said. “Thank you so much.”
“Nothing is too good for my family.”
I smiled at the word. Soon it would be official, but even though we weren’t married yet, I knew that it was true. It was exactly what we were. I wrapped my arms around Mason and gave him a hug before we left Edmond to his playing and returned to the foyer to start carrying in the boxes that the moving men were bringing up from the van downstairs. I knew that it would take time to mesh my world with Mason’s and to get accustomed to living here in The Avalon with him, but I was eager to do it. Maybe one day we would sell the apartment and find a home together. Maybe we would have a baby of our own to grow our little family even more. I let out a sigh and looked toward him. He smiled at me as he headed down the hallway toward our bedroom, leading the way for the men carrying the boxes.
When he disappeared from view my eyes came to settle on the table sitting in the foyer. It was more crowded now, holding three frames in its center. In the middle was a large wooden frame containing a picture of Mason, Edmond, and me that was taken on our first vacation together several months before. Edmond was grinning broadly as he held a large cone of pink cotton candy in one hand and stared up at fireworks bursting overhead against an inky sky, his view perfect from his vantage point sitting on Mason’s shoulder. I stood beside him, my arm around Mason’s waist and the other hand on Edmond’s leg, looking not at the fireworks display, but the beautiful, lifechanging image of the two boys in front of me.
On one side of that picture was a frame containing a picture of Branden from when we were much younger. On the other was the silver frame, the picture of Danielle back in its rightful place. The positioning of the pictures and the angle of each subject when the pictures were taken made it look like the two of them were gazing at Mason, Edmond, and me, their smiles those of love and approval, comforted and reassured by us coming together. I loved the way that the three pictures looked together there on the table. The two of them would always be a part of our lives, just as Mason had said, but there was space for us as well. We had found that space in our hearts for the gift of another chance to love and to be loved, and now we were ready to move forward into whatever surprises were ahead.
THE END
Redemption
By R.R. Banks
An Amazon Top 100 Bestseller
*232 Customer Reviews – 4.8/5 Stars
I'm the new fire chief in town.
Gwen is the one flame I can't put out.
The scars of my past haunt me.
They chase me like I chase fires.
But sh*t can't continue this way.
I'll be damned if I let my son end up damaged like me.
This new town is just what we need.
Little did I know a night of scorching lust would be my salvation.
No names, no commitment, and blazing passion.
That's all it was supposed to be.
Until I find Gwen again...
This time I'll take her body and her heart.
But if she knew my secret... Would she or this town still want me here?
Chapter One
Garrett
"Well, right now we're sharpening rocks to make spears and when we're done with that, we're going to go out into the woods and hunt Bigfoot for a while. If that doesn't pan out, we'll go drag racing down Main Street."
"Jason--"
"Seriously, Dad. You could have a little bit more faith in me. What type of person do you think I am."
I'm kind of afraid to answer that.
"I'm just worried about you."
"We're eating pizza and playing video games. Both of Jeff's parents are sitting in the living room. All the doors are locked. I have my toothbrush and intend on brushing my teeth thoroughly after eating my allotted slices and the soda that will go along with them."
"Not too much soda," I said.
As if that was really going to have any impact on him.
"I have my limits, Dad. I have my limits."
I sighed, but there was a smile on my lips. It was good to hear my son sounding almost playful with me again. It had been months since he had been anything but sullen and occasionally blisteringly angry for what seemed like absolutely no reason most of the time. That was one of the main reasons that I was on the road right now, nearly at my destination, as I leaned forward slightly to stare through the windshield at the dark, narrow way ahead.
"Alright. I'll pretend that you cut yourself off at one can and we'll call it even."
"How many cans of soda do you drink with your pizza?" he asked with a hint of teasing in his voice.
Four.
"One."
"Sure. Are you still planning on being back the day after tomorrow?"
"That's the plan."
"I'll see you then."
"Night, Bud."
"Night."
I reached forward and ended the call on my phone where it was attached to the dashboard.
"Where in the living fuck am I?" I asked no one in particular, which was good considering I was alone in the car.
I thought that the way was going to seem familiar. It should have felt comfortable or at least looked like something I had seen before. The closer that my GPS told me I was getting, however, the less it felt like I knew where I was or where I was going. I tried not to think about it. The more I did, the more I had to remember the last time that I was in this town and everything that I had gone through. That had been so many years ago. I told myself that that was why nothing seemed as familiar as I expected that it would, not that I had been so traumatized when I left. I didn't want to think that those last few weeks had been so hard on me, that they would scar me or make it so that I wasn't able to remember the place where I grew up.
It was the earlier years, the years well before my life as I knew it exploded, that was the reason I accepted the job offer and made the decision to move Jason and me to the tiny town that I was currently trying very hard to find. The last few months had only been part of a distinctly downward spiral that Jason seemed to be following, one that had taken him from the energetic and fun child I had raised mostly alone to a difficult teenager who was teetering over the edge of rebellion a little more each day. I didn't want to see him follow the same difficult path that I had. I didn't want to see him suffering. But I also didn't want to see him fall victim to the self-destruction that I knew could come, the self-destruction that I had been rescued from by the military. And by him.
I didn't think of this as going home, though part of me thought that maybe I should. Instead, I thought of it as bringing my son to the place where I thought that he would have the best chances, where he could start over and get onto a better track. I felt a tightening of guilt in my stomach as I thought about this. I hadn't been entirely honest with Jason about the move. When I dropped him off with his best friend Jeff for a few days I told him that I was going to see about a new job. That wasn't a lie. There was a new job waiting for me in the tiny town of Silver Lake. I had leveraged my military and firefighting backgrounds to land the position of fire chief, finally bringing me up from the absolute bottom of the heap, where I had been with my family in the days before I left Silver Lake, behind me, for what I thought would be the last time.
What I hadn't told Jason was that the new job was several hours away from the town where he had grown up and that I was actually going to find us a new house so that we could move right after the first of the year. I knew that he was going to be pissed. I wasn't really looking forward to that confrontation when it finally came time to tell him. I knew that the transition that was coming wasn't going to be easy for either one of us, but I expected that it was going to be the
most difficult for him. The thought was enough to make my temples tighten in another stress headache, much like the ones that had inspired the nearly empty bottle of pain reliever that was taking up one of the cup holders in the center console right alongside a massive cup with now-cold dredges of coffee.
Finally, I saw a sign rising up in front of me and knew that I was almost at my destination. There was only one hotel in the town of Silver Lake, which meant that my options for where to stay during my visit were limited to whether I wanted a room on the bottom floor or the top. I had opted for the top, but as I drove along the main stretch of the town, I wondered if I was going to be able to get into my room that night at all.
Where is everybody? It's not even ten.
The entire town around me seemed to be asleep. There were no cars with me on the road and no people walking along the sidewalk. Most of the buildings were completely dark or had only one or two lights burning inside. It was the week of Thanksgiving and I knew that within a few days Christmas lights were going to burst to life throughout the town, but for now, the entire space seemed desolate and empty.
It's downright fucking creepy.
I drove around to the back of the hotel and gathered my bags before walking to the door, expecting it to be locked so I would have to spend the night either sleeping in my car or driving around trying to find another hotel. Fortunately, I saw someone standing behind the counter as I approached the door and was able to walk in and check in.
Twenty minutes later I was back in my car. The quiet was too much for me and for the tense thoughts running through my mind. I needed something to relieve my stress and to get my mind off everything. Having a night without responsibilities wasn't something that I got very often, and I wanted to blow off some steam and have fun. That, however, was something that wasn't going to happen in Silver Lake. Even if every member of the town hadn't apparently pulled on their sleeping caps and buried themselves in bed for the night, I didn't want to threaten my reputation in the town even before I had a chance to build it. The town was full of prying eyes and well-established families with very strong opinions, which meant that anything that I did was going to spread faster than the flu. Even if I was going to eventually drink the hot milk and settle into small town living, I was going to make the most of the time that I had left.
