Falling to Pieces

by L. T. Kelly

  His gentle touch stopped my screaming sobs. My throat was so dry it started to swell.

  “Give me the fucking absinthe,” I croaked, glaring into Alex’s eyes, my jaw clenched with a steely resolve.

  His lips parted for a moment before his features became more rigid and his eyes blazed with anger. He stood back up and returned with the bottle that he must have taken from Victoria. He held my head back and poured the liquid straight from the bottle into my open mouth.

  I sank into the darkness. I don’t know whether the onlookers glimpsed it, but I felt a smile spread across my lips as I drifted away. I didn’t want to be the woman I’d became since I’d met Marc. I wanted to be nothing rather than live a life without him.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The dryness of my throat burned. I tried to swallow to try and alleviate the pain but failed miserably. Not a single, solitary spot of moisture existed in my mouth. My muscles ached so much. I couldn’t move at all. I failed to even move my tongue to inspire some dampness.

  With my eyes closed, I lay horizontally on a soft surface, and I didn’t want to move. My last memories invaded me. If I’d had the strength to scream, to cry out for someone to take the pain away, I would have.

  I heard heavy footfalls close by. “Anything?” a voice whispered.

  “No, sorry,” another voice responded at normal level.

  “Why are you sorry? She’s not dead,” Thomas said with a snap of his raised voice.

  “Look, man. Have you thought perhaps she doesn’t want to wake up? She’s been out for like two weeks now.” Alex’s voice filled the room.

  His words rang true. I didn’t want to wake up, I didn’t wish to live an empty and meaningless life anymore. I silently battled in my mind whether to just remain in the state I suffered or to make them aware that I’d awoken. The memories of Marc and Gabriella stung me as I lay still and considered my options. Perhaps I should give him a chance to explain?

  “You can’t think like that. I won’t believe it. She’s lived without love for this long. I don’t understand why she can’t now.” He let out a long heavy sigh, I could picture his face, crumpled and defeated. I almost gave in and let him realise I was awake in response to the tone of his shattered voice. Maybe I owed that much to him? Maybe I owed it to him to thrive and get on with my life in spite of how unhappy I would be.

  “You’re aware of why I chose her aren’t you?” Thomas lowered his wistful voice. “Of course for her beauty, she’s always been beautiful. I watched her going home from work every evening after sunset.” He laughed a short breathy laugh. “Spied on her hanging out the wet clothes in the yard in the rain. I thought of her as optimistic, almost as though she dared the weather to defy her.”

  Alex joined in with his laughter. “She probably was, Thomas. You how she is. Stubborn.”

  “And passionate, strong, a warrior no matter what the battle is. If she does wake up, well—”

  “She’s a modern day Boadicea,” Alex concluded.

  “But the main reason I chose her, aside from the fact she’d have died anyway, was because her husband beat the love out of her. She seemed to have all but lost her humanity. After what happened with Victoria I didn’t know how to accept love, or how to give it either.

  “I’d considered her a lover, but as you understand, things didn’t work out quite as I expected. I always wanted a child anyway and Teagan appeared to be a blank slate. There was so much to teach her, so much for her to learn.

  “The only signs of love and compassion were admirable given her circumstances. She never showed anything but contempt for anyone except for—”

  I quickly coughed as loudly as my throat would allow. I tried to open my eyes only managing a sliver.

  I couldn’t bear anymore hurt. I didn’t want him to continue the story of my human life. I couldn’t handle the crippling pain of the story right now, maybe never. Thomas had been the only person who’d been aware of what had happened in Ireland.

  Thomas lowered his face to mine, filling the small amount of vision I had.

  “Teagan, are you back with us?” he asked, his voice indicating he scarcely believed I lived, despite his earlier words.

  I tried to speak but my words came out as a rasp. He straightened up and rummaged in the pocket of his black slacks producing a penknife. He ran the blade across his wrist and pressed his fresh blood to my lips.

  His blood cascaded into my mouth drenching my thirst. I managed to blink and wriggle my fingers and toes before his wound healed.

  He raised his wrist and re-slashed it before returning it to my still arid lips. I sensed his blood flooding my veins and caressing my organs. My heart sped up as life returned to my body plumping up my flat empty veins and shrivelled up organs.

  As if he saw the colour return to my cheeks, he pulled his wrist away and stepped back from the bed. Alex joined him. They stood with their arms folded across their chests.

  “Marc. Is he ok?” I asked, ignoring their piercing gazes.

  “He’s still alive as far as we’re aware. The Weres must have let him off,” Alex said, shrugging and holding his palms out before crossing them back over his chest.

  It seemed almost as if he’d slipped out of his acting role of being angry with me to elicit the information.

  Thomas narrowed his eyes at him. he was going to do no such thing, and he was livid.

  I turned away from the weight of their stares and realised I was back in my room in Knightsbridge.

  “They let me go?” I whipped my head back around to ask the question.

  They looked at each other, a silent conference to determine how to break whatever the consequences might be.

  An easy does it, this girl is crazy kind of look painted their faces. How could I blame them. What I had done teetered on the edge of madness.

  Thomas started towards the door while Alex rocked on the heels of his cowboy boots as if he wanted to follow him.

  Thomas spoke as he left my room without bothering to turn his head. “You inform her, Alex. I need to feed. Get my energy back.”

  Alex let out a sigh and climbed on the bed, his back resting against the headboard. I sat up and slid across to be closer to him.

  “Well?” I asked.

  “Marc is fine. I checked his address. He’s just limping around a little.”

  “Good, I didn’t think they’d kill him anyway. He’s too valuable to them.”

  “Then why did you want to die?”

  “Gabriella.” I breathed her name as my mind wondered back to the way his fingers touched her lips, the same way they had mine. The way he looked into her eyes. She’d saved him, I’d done no such thing. She was stronger, the better catch in so many ways.

  My stomach lurched. I turned back to Alex, his face etched with confusion. I waved my hand dismissively. He opened his mouth to speak, almost certainly to ask who Gabriella was but I stopped him in his tracks. “Drop it,” I snapped. I didn’t want to talk about her and I didn’t have the answers to the questions he’d probably ask anyway. I needed to get out of here and find them out for myself.

  “So what news is Thomas leaving to you to tell me? I can gather whatever it is involves The Assembly.”

  He changed the subject immediately. “You woke up at a convenient time,” he muttered, narrowing his eyes at me. “Thomas was about to give me the low down on your human story.”

  A smile flickered on my lips for a moment. Alex knew me better than I knew myself. “Stop avoiding telling me what The Assembly said.” We danced around so many subjects, neither of us willing to be forthcoming with any answers.

  “Well, you should stop avoiding telling me what happened when you were human,” he retorted snappily.

  “You think I can handle giving you a history lesson right now? It’s not the nicest story. No one except Thomas knows, and frankly you’ve been privy to too much information already.”

  “I realise that. Shit. You were married?” His voice pitched higher over
the last word.

  “What happened to you? I never asked because I didn’t want you to ask how and why I became a vampire. Now you’re privy to some of—”My voice trailed off.

  Alex took a deep breath. “What’s the main reason for a vampire to make another vampire?”

  “For companionship.” I furrowed my brow, wondering where he was going with his question.

  “Yes, that’s always what I’ve been told, as well. But for some reason that didn’t happen to me.” He inhaled deeply, as if bracing himself to tell me something terrible.

  “I woke up as a vampire in the sewers beneath the streets of New York City. It was 1943—”

  I let out a gasp and my hand flew to cover the shock my mouth displayed. Alex had first showed up at our home in Montana in 1944. I hadn’t realised just how young a vampire he’d been. I straightened out my expression before dropping my hand and urging him to carry on with a nod of my head.

  He raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me before continuing. “I woke up cold and alone with just the rats for company. My tweed suit was in a heap next to me; at least they’d left me that much.” He smiled, his eyes far away, going back in time.

  He shuddered, the smile gone. “I came from a wealthy family. My father was a banker, so the suit was very expensive and fashionable. The mere fact they hadn’t taken my things made me realise I hadn’t been mugged. The burn in my throat was intense. I wanted something so much, but I couldn’t fathom what the sensation meant. Not for the life of me.” His voice trailed off, creases appeared around his eyes and his lips quivered.

  It occurred to me, I felt the same. I’d had enough of my makers’ blood, but I thirsted for something? I shrugged the thought off and concentrated on Alex and his alarming story.

  I reached my arm over my chest and gently rubbed his shoulder. “You must have been frightened?” I urged him to continue.

  “Yes. The disgusting stench of the sewer overpowered me. It was pitch black, but I could see everything. I got up, inspected my body, not a single injury. I felt phenomenal.”

  I nodded in agreement recalling my own experience of turning, though I gave him a pitying smile, my eyes full of sorrow. I took his sorrow on my own shoulders for a while. Just trying to imagine what it would be like to wake alone with no one to explain what had happened to me.

  “I climbed out through a grate. I was completely filthy, yet a young woman rushed to help me. The smell of her, the floral soap and her own sweet natural aroma filled my nostrils.

  That’s when I experienced my teeth, my new teeth. They came flying out and as if by instinct they drove into her extended hand. I sucked and sucked until the light flashed out of her eyes.

  I was devastated. My family always teased me for being so gentle. That character trait enraged my father actually. But even I figured out he wouldn’t be happy I’d murdered someone.

  I roamed the back streets of New York looking for answers to what I’d become, climbing back down into the sewers before daybreak.

  I couldn’t go home, it just wasn’t right. I was different from the son they’d had. I was now a killer. And then my thirst calmed down and I realised I could feed without killing and the victim would miraculously forget what I’d done. At that point I’d been gone for at least four weeks. It seemed better off them believing me dead.”

  “So you never found your maker?”

  “No. One night while I wandered through the roughest, dingiest parts of the city where I guessed no one I had met when I was human would ever go, a woman stepped out in front of me. She wore a pale pink suit, cut from the finest fabric available. There seemed no possibility that she came from the area I was walking around in, and she had to be a brave lady to be here after dark. Either that or suicidal.”

  “She was a vampire?” I butted in.

  “Yes.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “Now, let me finish. Her name was Rose. She took me back to her swanky apartment and explained what I am. She asked how old I was and I told her I was eighteen.”

  My mouth hung open as I inhaled sharply. He moved quickly and clutched both of my shoulders. His wide eyes bore into mine from his bowed head.

  “Teagan, you must promise never to tell anyone,” he whispered breathlessly, nodding his head after each word.

  “I won’t, but you—”

  He cut me off. “Yes, I’m aware. Rose told me that’s probably why I was abandoned by my maker. Somehow, they must have realised I was under twenty-one and realised they’d made an illegal vampire so they’d fled. Although their fears appear unfounded because I’ve gotten away with passing for twenty-one ever since.”

  I nodded my mouth still agape. “So, what happened next?” I asked, after finally pulling myself together.

  “We both agreed I wouldn’t be able to stay in New York undetected. My parents had advertised a handsome reward for my safe return.

  They were apparently convinced I’d been kidnapped because of my father’s position within the bank.

  I told her I just wanted to find my maker. She agreed to help me by giving me the names and addresses of as many vampires as she’d met throughout the country.

  With each home I visited I got more addresses. I told people, as I told you and Thomas, that I just didn’t like staying in one place. Most people welcomed me with open arms, enjoying having more vampires in the house.”

  “Yes, it’s nice to be around one another.”

  We both sat in silence for a few minutes. I pondered Alex’s story thinking about what to say next.

  “So did you ever find your maker?”

  Alex shook his head. “Rose tried to prepare me before I left. She warned me the bond might not be evident because of the passage of time. I’ve always treated her as though she is my maker, though.”

  “Well, that’s something,” I said cocking my head to one side.

  He nodded but his mouth was pressed in a hard line.

  “You realise I have to go and see Marc, don’t you Alex?”

  He shook his head furiously. “No, Teagan. You can’t. You’re under house arrest until your trial.”

  “What?” I rubbed the back of my neck with an absent mind, my eyes flicking around the room. They were still going through with that shit? I had to get the answers. I just had to find out who Gabriella was to Marc, and whether I was going to die or not. I needed that information.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “I—I—just don’t understand?” I had leapt up off the bed and was pacing up and down the room nervously twisting a lock of my messy orange hair. I stopped mid-stride and covered my face with my hands, whipping them away after a moment.

  “Why? Why did they let me go then? Why didn’t they just finish me off there and then?” I screeched into Alex’s face as anger consumed me.

  He turned away, his eyes bulged at my evident rage. “Bartholomew decided and forced the other’s hand. He insisted you deserve a trial.” Alex dipped his head, his eyes staring at the crimson carpet beneath his boots.

  “Well, that was very fucking kind of him,” I hissed, placing my hands on my hips and tapping my foot. The heat rose to my cheeks. The rage bubbled inside me as I strode to my walk-in wardrobe.

  Alex was hot on my heels. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to see Marc,” I said trying to level out my ragged breathing. I pulled the tartan nightshirt up over my head.

  “You’ll get us killed, Teagan.”

  “How so?”

  “Because we agreed to deliver you back to The Assembly as soon as you woke. I think Bartholomew wants you. He won’t be happy he insisted that you be spared for a trial if you just, well, go.”

  I pulled a midnight blue t-shirt over my head.

  “Don’t you think I should have the chance to say goodbye to him?” I leaned closer to his face with closed eyes so I couldn’t see the pity on his features as I begged. “Please, please, please, ple—”

  “Ok, stop!” He raised a hand and stepped back. “Hurry up,
Teagan,” he said, wincing.

  “Thanks so much.” My voice sounded strangled with emotion. “I know you don’t owe me a thing, but thanks. I already owe you so much as it is.”

  “Just hurry up. You wouldn’t want our heads on the block too, would you,” he said as a statement rather than a question.

  I pulled on black jeans and a black hooded top, tucking my hair inside. “Thanks,” I said once again, not giving him the chance to change his mind.

  I whooshed down the stairs, stopping abruptly in the hallway realising that one of The Assembly might be watching the house.

  I hurried through the door on my left and towards the French windows. Pulling them open, I exited onto the balcony, which jutted out from the back of the house. I peered to my right seeing that the house next door had the same ledge.

  I leapt from one balcony to the other for five houses in a row. I reached the last house on the block and scaled the thick black drainpipe secured to the side before I found the flat rooftop of the house.

  Lying flat on my stomach, I leopard crawled to the front of the building before peering down on to the street below. I inspected the inside of each car parked alongside the curb opposite. They were all empty. I took my time sweeping my gaze from left to the right over the foreground, middle ground and distance. I exhaled with relief. No one was watching.

  I thought that a little odd, but I trusted I’d done a good security check. I leapt down to the sidewalk from the top of the building and sprinted along the quiet streets until I reached a main road still humming with traffic. I kept my head down and slumped my shoulders to protect my identity as much as possible until I could hail a cab.

  I was half way to Mayfair when a vacant taxi pulled over for me.

  I stood in front of his house within five minutes, paying the driver out of the stash of cash I’d stuffed in my pocket.

  The pounding of my heart along with my erratic breathing was all I heard as I stood at the door. I raised my hand to the buzzer several times, but I couldn’t bring myself to press it.