“Lily, you saved my life,” Vault's awed voice tells me. “Where did you learn to shoot like that? It was unreal.”
I don't respond, but I feel a grin twitching on my lips, pleased that finally my badass gun skills are appreciated. The feeling evaporates when I remember that it came at the cost of four lives.
A few more tears escape, a block of ice replacing my throat and lungs.
Vault brings a straw to my lips, encouraging me to drink.
I take a sip and the cool refreshing water feels amazing traveling down my body. I begin to gulp and suck until I hear the slurping sound of an empty glass.
I relax into the cushions, eyes growing heavy and fluttering closed.
“Jay!” I gasp, body bolting upright, remembering he was going back into a suite with that crazy psycho lady.
“He's not back yet,” a monotone Vault reports back to me.
I frantically search his face, looking for any signs of what he's truly thinking. The crystal clear blue eyes of Benedict Cole remind me of an old soul, one full of sorrow and heartache.
“It doesn’t mean he's not okay,” he rushes out to reassure me. “It doesn’t mean he's not okay,” he murmurs under his breath, and I think this time it's to reassure himself.
I find comfort that I'm not in this alone, that I'm not the only one worried whether he lives or dies.
“What happened to that car?” I ask.
“A bomb. My guess is Laz sent one of her men to drive the car to take out my men, making us easy targets for the others.”
“Why would the driver of the car sacrifice himself like that?”
“He might not have known. It's not uncommon to use a minion to drive a car where it's needed, making them think the other car will be the one to explode when he presses the detonator.”
We keep staring into each others' eyes as we continue digesting everything that happened.
The office doors fly open and men come stumbling in.
Vault jumps to his feet and hurries to them. I sit up straighter, searching for Jay in the small assembly in front of me, but I don't see him.
I scramble to my feet, making my way past the couch and floor rug closer to the men.
“Jay?” I ask, but there's such a commotion no one hears me. I say his name louder and no one acknowledges I’m here as they are trying to assess their wounds. The men look a bloody mess.
More men enter, but these men are in scrubs and get to work on any injuries, evaluating who needs more intensive care.
I cover my mouth, eyes wildly moving back and forth, taking each one in and how none of them seem unharmed. Every one of them has taken a hit and is damaged.
None of this is good.
My breathing becomes shallow; I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I hear them tell Vault that they were ambushed. Lazra had men hiding behind the bedroom doors. I drop to my knees, eyes now glued to the door. I'm praying and waiting for Jay to walk through, swiping his head, eyes intently studying me. I hold on to that image, hoping that if I picture it enough it will happen.
“Arianna?” Vault inquires.
“Gone,” one of his men responds.
The block of ice lodged in my throat turns into a thick tree trunk, it's roots overtaking my chest, and the branches run along my jaw, tightening it in. Tears hit the marble floor, splatter after splatter, sounding like raindrops in a storm, but I'm sure to everyone else nothing more than a fallen leaf.
“Jay?” Vault asks next.
I'm not sure I can hear this, I'm not sure I can emotionally handle it.
“Here,” a voice I'd know anywhere speaks, coming through the doors. “Where's my girl?”
A sob escapes and my palms hit the cool marble. I didn't see him but his voice was enough to send me over. A thumping hits the floor and I see bent knees sliding across it. Familiar arms embrace me into the hard body of the man I love.
“Baby, are you okay?” I cling tighter with each word that leaves his mouth, breathing in as much of him as I can. “Vault, tell me what happened.”
“We were followed. My men got bombed when they approached the other car.”
Jay tenses and his lips kiss all along the top of my head.
“She saved my life. Where did she learn to shoot like that? It was like watching a female Bruce Willis action hero.” He sounds in awe and disbelief, thinking he must have gone insane and not remember it accurately.
“Fuck,” Jay mutters. “Baby, talk to me. I need to hear your voice.”
I dislodge the words stuck deep inside, “I killed four men.”
“Baby,” he sighs, stroking my hair, “Four men who wouldn't have thought twice about killing you.”
I know that, but it doesn't change the fact that I played God and took a life. I know that there was no other choice and one day I will come to terms with that, but after all that I've been through it's too much for me. I want to be home in my warm, cozy bed, my mom bringing me canned soup that she somehow burned in the microwave, a brown frothy web swimming on top, my brothers poking their heads in to make a witty remark that makes me laugh and roll my eyes, Naomi coming in and hitting me with mounds of chocolate bars before forcing me to make room for her on the bed. We'll watch a romantic comedy that leaves me swooning and Naomi hating every minute of it, but I know she secretly loves it.
Jay loosens his hold on me but I'm not ready to let go. I climb up onto his bent legs to sit on his lap.
A hiss rings in my ear.
“Baby, I'm hurt. I need to get checked out.” He tries sliding me off but he seems to be in too much pain to manage it.
I pull away and scoot back, noticing his hand's over his left lower stomach, covered in blood.
“Omigod!” I cry, “Are you okay?!” It comes out frantic and panic-stricken, which is calmer than how my insides feel.
Jay reaches his other hand to stroke my cheek, “Baby, it's just a bullet wound. I'll be fine.”
I throw my hands up and let them fall down and slap my thighs, “How silly of me. Why be worried over something so mundane? Ignoring the fact that you're covered in blood!”
He chuckles and winces in pain, “It may hurt, but it's not life threatening. I'll look back on it as proof that Lazra is six feet under ground.
My jaw hits the floor, “So when you told me that some of your scars hold good memories, this is what you meant?
His lips jerk to form a childlike smirk, “Yeah.”
I shake my head and let out a grunt, “You need to learn what it means to have good memories.”
He tucks my hair behind my ear, his eyes softening, “I'm never going to be able to eat or smell pumpkin without thinking of how good you taste and feel.”
My cheeks flush and he winks. Despite the circumstances, I'm turned on. Damn him and what he does to me.
A doctor leads Jay over to lie down on a couch to take a look at his wound, which has saturated his shirt in blood. I follow and stand on the back end of the couch, reaching a hand over to hold his. I give it a squeeze and he pulls it up to kiss the top before resting it on his chest.
As the doctor gets to work removing the bullet, Jay has Vault recount in detail what happened.
“She actually used the words – It's time to throw down,” Vaults adds, after he finishes briefing him.
They both laugh, Jay stopping to wince in pain, and the doctor warns him to stay still.
Jay kisses the top of my hand again, “You're so damn cute.”
I huff, “It fell out.” I glare at Vault and shake a finger at him, “Didn't I just save your ass? Show some respect.”
Vault only chuckles before turning gravely serious, “My men told me Arianna's gone?”
Jay sucks in his breath and tightly closes his eyes as the doctor begins stitching his wound.
“Son of a bitch that hurts.” He kisses my hand, leaving his lips on it, breathing in and out until his body relaxes back, getting used to the pain, the pain I wish I was feeling instead of him.
“
She's not gone.”
Both Vault and I let out a sigh of relief.
“When your men and I entered shit got crazy, but she's smart and ducked back just like I knew she would. She crawled toward the door and I used my body to make sure no one got past me to get to her. Unfortunately, I didn't notice Henley leaving too. It wasn't until after shit ended that I realized he was gone too. One of your men saw him take her with him and followed, but they hit the elevator first. Your man made it outside with enough time to shoot Henley in the back of the head, but Arianna was already in the car and it sped off. I have no fucking clue where they went. I have some of your men looking into it right now.”
The doctor finishes and puts on a fresh patch of gauze.
“Will that be all, Mr. Cole?”
“Yes, thank you Doctor Kline. One of my girls up front has your cash for you.”
He tips his head in farewell and leaves.
I move around to the front of the couch to help Jay sit up. He clutches his stomach the whole time, trying to hide how much agony it causes him. He adjusts his bottom for comfort, then pats next to him for me to sit. I get as close as I can without being on top of him. He brings his arm over my lap and I take his hand into mine. His head leans down to kiss the top of my hair and breathe me in.
“Lazra's gone?” Vault asks for confirmation.
“Yeah, did it myself. Two to the head, three to the chest.”
“Needed to make sure, huh?”
“Fuck yes I did. Wasn't easy either. It was like a fucking war zone in there,” his eyes turn haunted. “She had more than double the men we did. She planned that all out better than I had thought she was capable off.
“Any of her men left?”
“No. Your head has men in there now cleaning it all up.
Vaults nods, “Good.”
“Vault, can you give us a minute alone?”
He nods while he stands, “I have a lot to do to keep this under wraps.”
“Can you get your plane ready and my box?”
He nods again and leaves.
“Plane?” I question, not liking the expression forming on Jay's face.
“Come, sit on my lap.”
Very carefully I move to straddle him. He takes hold of my face to look me in the eye, “I have to send you home.”
“What? Why?”
“You’re safest there. Nobody else but Vault's men know about you now, and they won't touch you. I can't have you near me with Dragoni coming after us.”
I start to shake my head no, “I can't leave you.”
“I don't want you to go, but I can't have you anywhere near him. The idea of his eyes even looking at you...” he trails off and I take the opportunity to peck his lips, “I also need to find Arianna. I owe her that. I was so hell bent on making sure you got out of that hotel I convinced myself I'd be able to keep her safe. I should have made an effort for her to leave with you. You were right, I fucked up. Now it's my responsibility to get her back.”
“Do you think she's okay?”
“No fucking clue babe.”
“I'm scared, Jay.”
He pulls me into him and we both bury our faces in the other.
“Once you kill him you'll come back for me, right?”
Jay stiffens.
“Jay?” I plead, why won't he answer?
“Lily, you deserve better than all this.”
I vigorously shake my head no and push back on him, “No, Jay. You get that bastard and then you come back for me. Promise me. You can't leave me again, not if you love me too. I won't ever be able to move on with my life if I know you're somewhere out there living yours without me. Promise you'll come back to me. When he's gone, it's over anyway, right?”
He's avoiding direct eye contact, “Yeah.”
“Then promise me.”
“I can't. I might not win.”
“Yes. You will.” Why would he even say something like that or even think it?
“I was confident the last two times and failed. I'm not confident this time, which scares the shit out of me.”
“Those times you had nothing to lose if you failed. Now you do. Get him for us, Jay.” I stop to throw out the big guns, hoping to seal the deal, “Make a happy life for yourself, give your parents the only thing they want for their children: love, happiness, and contentment.”
I thought for sure that would get his attention but he's still averting his eyes from mine.
“Dammit, Jay! Look at me!” I cup his head and hold it in place, not giving him anywhere to stare but me, “You will come back to me.”
I almost lose it when I see moisture dampening his lids.
Vault enters to tell us the plane is ready.
I help Jay to standing and we head out of the office. Vault passes something off to Jay before he places a hand on my shoulder.
“Thank you, Lily. I'm in debt to you. You ever need anything, let me know. Nothing is too big a request.” He pats my shoulder and brushes past me, not waiting for my response.
“Ben, wait!” I call after him before his office door fully closes.
He steps back out, puzzled, and I'm not sure if it's because I called him Ben without thinking or if he's wondering why I stopped him.
I tell him the only big request I will ever have, not caring if it's too much to ask of a person, “I want Jay to win.”
“Fair enough. I'll do everything in my power to see that he does.”
Okay, good. I don't doubt Vault for a second.
Jay leads me back to the elevators and we take it down to the main floor. Another Escalade is waiting outside for us.
We remain silent for the first ten minutes during the trek to the airport. I lie my head on his shoulder and give his hand a squeeze.
“Lily, I don't want you thinking I don't want to come back to you. I'm so fucking yours it's ridiculous. It's just...I could have lost you today-”
I slap my hand over his mouth, “But you didn't. Do you believe in fate?” I remove my hand and continue, not needing his answer, “Because I do. I don't think it's a coincidence that the girl you fell in love with knows how to use a gun and can aim it. Fate's trying to give you a chance at happiness. You're meant to kill off The Marker so he's not always a shadow lurking nearby, and then you're meant to finally live out your life in peace.”
We go back to silence, but I can sense that he's digesting what I said.
We stop in the far back of the airport, away from the commercial planes. I step out and come around to Jay's side to make sure he doesn't need help getting out. He makes it on his own and we face the waiting jet. This one is twice the size of the previous one, but any thrill I might have had is gone. My body's too busy dealing with the fact that I'm leaving Jay.
I gently hug myself to him, “I can't say goodbye again, it hurts too much.”
He strokes my hair and I close my eyes, soaking in his touch and smell.
“It sucks, but I need to know you're safe. I'll focus better.” He starts leading me to the plane and stops at the start of the stairs leading to the entrance.
He places a hand on each cheek and looks down at me, “I promise.”
That's all it takes and I'm a crying, blubbering mess. He pulls me in and I cry freely in his arms.
“I love you, Jay Lincoln.”
“Fuck baby, I love you too.”
He unhooks my arms from him and he wipes away my tears, “It's time to go. I need to get you far away from me, even though it's killing me.” He takes my right hand in his and slips a ring on my middle finger, “My mom's. It's the only jewelry she ever wore. My dad gave it to her on the day she gave birth to me. She never took it off.”
I look down at my hand to see a simple gold band around my middle finger. What makes it stand out is the beautiful round blue gemstone on top with a gold frame around it. The stone has what reminds me of a sparkling star embedded inside, winking at me.
“It's beautiful,” I gush. My heart swells, knowing what it means f
or him to give me something like this. “What kind of stone is it?”
“Star sapphire. My birthday's in September.”
“Thank you.”
He leans down and smashes his lips to mine. We take long, slow strokes with our tongues, memorizing the taste and feel. The love and sorrow we both feel mingles together in our mouths. His hands dig into the hair behind my ears, pulling me harder against him. I can feel the kiss all the way down to my toes. He parts our lips and rests his forehead to mine.
“How long?”
“No clue, it could be months and months.”
Oh god, that hurts to think about.
“I'm going to miss you so much.”
“Me too,” his voice cracks, sounding like he's on the verge of losing it. “You've got to get on the plane before I can't let you go.”
I want to stay right here and not move, but I know he's right. He needs to focus and not worry about where I am or if I’m safe.
We get in one last kiss, no tongue, just lips crushed together, unmoving. Our hands are placed on each other's head, forcefully pressing it closer.
“I love you, Lily,” he breathes along my lips.
“I love you, Jay.”
I let go and turn around to climb the stairs. At the top I don't turn around, afraid I'll change my mind and run back to him.
Inside, the attendant gestures to any seat. I don't even notice the inside of the plane and take the first seat I find by a window facing Jay. I buckle in and look out to find Jay resting back on the Escalade, watching me. His brows are pulled in, eyes squinting, jaw locked, lips straight. He looks in more pain than I have ever seen him, not even trying to mask it. I wonder if for once he feels so strongly he can't.
My tears are falling heavy and free, making him blurry. The plane starts and it has me crying even harder, the heartache so massive my chest might break. I stare out the window until Jay is lost from view. I sob into the pillow next to me, equally in fear for what's to come and our separation. Eventually I stop and the attendant hands me a glass of champagne and a sympathetic frown. I gulp it down and ask for the whole bottle. I drink straight from it and stare out the window. How the hell am I going to go back to my life and try to live it like the last month never happened?
End of Part I
Marked. Part I: The missing Link Page 32
