by Olivia Burke
Gwen stuck her hand out, obviously curious about their relationship, and Colt blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Jack’s little sister. A little mix-up at his house threw us together.”
Jill’s grin faltered if for only a split second. “Hi, Gwen, I’m a huge fan.”
Gwen thanked her and they made quick small talk. Gwen shot him glances every few moments, while Colt pretended not to notice. He was busy noticing how the lines around Jill’s eyes had tightened even while smiling at Gwen, and how she pulled away from Colt. The extra space between them now might as well have been miles.
He’d made a major error in reacting to Gwen. However he might feel about seeing his ex-girlfriend in the most random of places, it didn’t compare to the guilt that washed over him at the thought of hurting Jill.
What was worse was the fact this was happening right in the middle of … well, whatever they’d been discussing. Colt had finally chosen to give into his feelings for Jill, but from the chilly look she gave him, it was useless now. Their rules were clearly back in place. And he could only be angry with himself; he could’ve introduced her as a friend or even a date, but instead he’d put the wall firmly back in place.
The band took their places back up onstage, checking their instruments. Gwen turned back to Colt, fidgeting with her glitzy necklace.
“Listen, I’m here until tomorrow night, we should grab coffee or something.” There was an oddly hopeful note in her tone.
“Coffee, right,” he said absentmindedly, too busy wanting her to leave so he could attempt to fix things with Jill.
“It was great seeing you,” Gwen said to him, touching his arm briefly before smiling at Jill. “And nice meeting you.”
“You too,” Jill said, though her smile looked more like a grimace.
Colt very purposely did not watch Gwen walk away, instead turning back to Jill. “Do you think maybe we could go talk–?”
“No, let’s stay for a few more songs,” she said stonily, looking ahead to the stage.
Before he could object, the band launched into their second act, rocking so loudly Colt could barely hear himself think, much less talk to Jill. She didn’t sway to the music or lean into him “accidentally” as she’d done earlier, instead keeping all limbs to herself. Four songs later, she finally relented.
“It’s late,” she said, casting significant look at her watch. “I’d like to get back to Jack’s house, please.”
He winced the cold phrasing; instead of using “home,” the way they both had this past week, she’d effectively separated herself from it. Colt eagerly followed her out and back to the car, desperate to fix things. His ears rang from the loud music, and he turned the radio off as they left the parking lot.
“Well, that was … fun,” he said lamely, making an attempt to get her speaking to him again.
“Thanks again for picking up the tab.” Her robotic tone made her sound more like a colleague than friend or … anything else.
“Listen, I’m sorry about Gwen–”
“Why?” Jill shrugged, gazing resolutely out the passenger side window. “She seems friendly enough. It’s obvious she wants to see you again.”
He snorted. “I can’t believe she wants to get coffee.”
“You should go,” Jill said offhandedly, still looking out the window to, he assumed, avoid looking at him. “Maybe get that closure you so obviously need.”
So obviously need? The statement stung, and anger flashed through him. “I don’t need closure.”
“Of course you do.” She shrugged, still refusing to so much as glance his way. “You should’ve seen the look on your face.”
“What, like some lovesick puppy dog?” he snapped.
“No,” she shot back. “More like you were going to be sick.”
“Then why on earth would I meet her?” He was bewildered. Is she picking a fight?
“So that you can actually talk about her without grinding your teeth?” Jill made sure he saw her eye roll. “Maybe this would help things. It’s been years, Colt, and you’re still so angry about it, it’s obvious.”
“But I’m not, I have no reason to be when–” he caught himself, unsure of what he’d been teetering on, but veered course, “-when I got over her a long time ago.”
“It’s okay, you know, if you’re still in love with her–”
“I’m not,” Colt interrupted, suddenly furious at the idea.
“You did say she was an amazing woman.” Jill lifted a finger in thought. “Maybe it’s ‘the Universe’ telling you to give her another chance. Maybe that’s why we’re here together, so I could lead you to the venue to meet her.”
He scoffed. “Will you please just listen to me? I’m not ‘in love’ with Gwen. Yes, she broke my heart, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Can we please talk about us–”
“Okay, well, even if that’s true, you introduced me as ‘Jack’s little sister,’” she reminded him, flushing pink. “That’s who I’ll always be to you, isn’t it, your best friend’s sister?”
Colt’s jaw clenched. “I can’t pretend Jack isn’t a factor in this situation.”
“Situation?” Jill repeated. She sucked in a deep breath, her voice tight. “I don’t know why we’re arguing about this, anyway. None of it matters. From Gwen to Jack’s calls, to our jobs and two completely different worlds, we’re constantly reminded of why we shouldn’t be together.”
“What if I wanted to try anyway?” he asked, hoping one last attempt could change her mind.
There was a long pause, a terrible moment where Colt’s went dry. She swallowed hard, and spoke slowly, as if the words pained her. “I don’t know if I do.”
The words cut him deeply. She doesn’t want me. He didn’t fit into her plans, just like all the others. Just like Gwen hadn’t wanted to try with him. The realization hurt worse than he’d imagined it might, and he turned away from her, unable to look her way any longer. The tiniest piece of him wanted to lash out.
“Okay,” Colt said as he pulled the car into the driveway, “I guess I’ll meet Gwen for coffee, then.”
He hated the tone of his voice even as he said it, hated the way she flinched at the words. And even so, he couldn’t stop the flow of words. “I suppose I should see what she has to say.”
Jill’s mouth tightened into a thin line, and Colt was sure something had broken between them. Certainly whatever romantic intentions he’d considered were long gone, anyway. He couldn’t believe she’d push him into seeing Gwen; it wasn’t his fault his ex-girlfriend had been at the same place tonight.
But she got out of the car without another word. She didn’t sob or slam the door, or even stomp off, and it was perhaps this defeated response that hit him hardest. He watched her walk away and, when he eventually made his way into the house, didn’t venture upstairs to speak with her anymore that night.
Jill raced to her room after the ruined date - or whatever that was - with a spoon halfway into the quart of ice cream she’d swiped from the freezer. She didn’t want to cry or get mad; she did, however, want to avoid seeing Colt for the rest of her vacation. And maybe hide under the blankets until he leaves.
Neither of them had discussed their post-vacation plans, and neither of them had a real timeline. She had no idea how long he was planning on staying, and while she wanted to more or less run away, Jill wasn’t sure she had the option. Her recent job offer had become more and more enticing, and she would have to give the hospital an answer soon.
Her parents, when she’d called to tell them earlier that day, were thrilled for her, and encouraged her to take it. Jill still wasn’t totally sure what she wanted, however, and the “situation” with Colt, as he’d referred to it, had only confused her more.
“Maybe a new start is what I need,” she mumbled into the ice cream container.
Before she could pout further, her phone rang - a call from Rosie, demanding to know what was happening. Jill sighed, pulling up the phone to her face to ca
ll her sister-in-law.
“Jack’s on the phone, so we have a few minutes to catch up,” Rosie said without greeting, clearly giddy to hear all about it. At the look on Jill’s face, however, she paused. “What’s wrong?”
Jill told her everything, from the fantastic beginning and their discussion of throwing out the rulebook, to the crash-and-burn of Colt’s ex-girlfriend showing up. When she’d finished, she stuffed an obscene amount of ice cream into her mouth while Rosie processed. Brain freeze is still better than heartbreak.
“And you really don’t want to try for a real relationship with him?” Rosie asked.
Jill winced. “He’s not serious about that. He’s on a vacation high and we keep getting caught up in ‘moments.’”
“I haven’t known Colt long, but I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who casually suggests going all in–”
“It doesn’t matter,” Jill interrupted loudly, talking over her. “He’s going out with Gwen tomorrow and they’ll probably be all over the entertainment news in twenty-four hours.”
Rosie’s mouth twisted. “Do you really think he’s still in love with her?”
“I don’t know, but you should’ve seen the look on his face when they were talking,” Jill said, groaning at the memory of Colt’s stricken expression.
“That doesn’t mean he’s in love with her.”
“What else would it be?” Jill scoffed.
“If you don’t let him tell you, how will you know?” Rosie quirked an eyebrow at her across the screen. “Or are you looking for excuses?”
Jill’s eyes narrowed. “Excuses for what?”
“I think you know. I get not wanting to put your heart out there … being vulnerable is scary, but what if you’re just avoiding admitting you love him?”
“I do not love him!” Jill sputtered, ignoring the way her heart leapt in her throat. “What on earth makes you say that?”
“That look on your face when we talked the other day about him … it’s the same face I make when I so much as think about Jack.” Rose’s matter-of-fact tone didn’t help matters.
“You’re overthinking it,” Jill replied, ignoring the way her heart thumped uncomfortably at the statement.
Rosie looked skeptical, but moved on. “So what are you going to do now?”
Jill sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to keep running into him, but I hate to leave like this.”
Rosie gave her a puzzled look. “Don’t leave, then. You have a job to take, which means finding an apartment. Ask Colt to leave.”
Jill groaned. “I don’t even know if I’m going to accept the job.”
“What!” Rosie exclaimed, eyes going wide with disbelief. “Why not?”
“I just have a lot to think about.” Jill skated over it because she didn’t really feel like going into it again.
Rosie’s face was skeptical. “You better decide fast, seeing as they need an answer soon, right?”
Jill sighed. “I need to call her Monday.”
“No matter what happens with Colt, he shouldn’t be a determining factor in your decision,” Rosie said, even shaking a stern finger across the screen.
Jill couldn’t help but crack a little smile. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m serious!”
“No, I know, you’re right. Let’s be real, I’m probably going to take the job. I don’t want to regret turning it down, because I may never get an opportunity like this one again.”
Rosie pumped her fist in triumph. “Excellent! I can’t wait to see you so we can celebrate. It might even be sooner than you think, given the amount of sun today.”
She pointed the phone down at her shoulders and neck, revealing a nasty sunburn. Jill winced. “Ouch.”
“I’d love to help you find a place,” Rosie continued, “and I’ll show you all the best restaurants…”
She continued talking, planning the fun things they’d do together when Jill officially moved, but Jill was no longer listening. She wanted to be excited, but the night’s events had completely ruined it. Her thoughts were already back to Colt, at what she’d even say to him when they saw each other again.
Once she and Rosie hung up, Jill returned what remained of the ice cream to the freezer. She paused by the door that led to the downstairs suite; it was closed, but she could just make out music on the other side, a slow country ballad she didn’t recognize.
Maybe it’s Gwen. The sudden thought made her heart leap into her throat with jealousy and anguish. Jill quickly went back upstairs, afraid Colt would suddenly open the door and see her there, pining in the dark like a lunatic.
“I need a fresh start,” she told herself, reaching for her phone. Maybe she could take her mind off things while researching for her next apartment.
Colt found himself at the nearby coffee shop the next morning. It was a cute little place, sharing a building with the next-door bookstore, Shelfie. When he stepped inside, he was relieved to see it was nearly empty, save for the brunette wearing a jaunty little hat and sunglasses in the corner.
Gwen turned in her chair long enough for a little wave. He quickly paid for a black coffee and went over to the table, sitting across from her. Her back to the door, she removed her sunglasses and smiled brightly at him.
“Hi, Colton. Thanks for meeting me.”
“Sure. Why am I doing this exactly?”
He ticked his head at her in question. It was the question he’d asked himself all night, unsure if he actually wanted to meet with his ex-girlfriend. He’d agreed only because he’d lost his temper and now, sitting with her, the ball of regret in his stomach grew. True, he could’ve just stayed at the house and avoided Gwen, but the tiniest piece of him was curious to see what she had to say.
That and I have to get out of the house so I don’t run into Jill.
“Because we used to be closer,” she said, hands fidgeting on her coffee cup as she spoke. “Because at one point you were my best friend, and I’m sorry we’re not in each other’s lives anymore. I know that was my choice and I’ve regretted it everyday.”
Colt’s stomach tightened. Is she trying to get back together?
“Even though my life is crazy now – in the best way possible – I still think about how I hurt you. And I’m so sorry for what I did.”
He held up a hand to stop her. “I appreciate everything you’re saying, but I need you to know that I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get back together.”
Gwen paused her speech, blinking at him. “What? Oh, no, I wasn’t–I didn’t want–oh, Colt, that’s not what this is about. I really just wanted to apologize and ask if there’s ever a chance you could forgive me.”
He offered her a small smile, wanting to offer her an olive branch. “Gwen, I still think you’re an amazing woman. I know I didn’t take our breakup well, but I can’t blame you for thinking about your career. It didn’t make you love me any less, but … maybe it’s better it ended how it did, because I’d have hated for us to fight all the time if we’d tried to stay together through it all.”
“That’s exactly how I feel,” she said earnestly, her brown eyes shining. “I didn’t want to resent you, or hate myself for dragging everything along. I’m sorry, Colton, I really am.”
“Me too,” Colt said, saying it and meaning it perhaps for the first time ever. “I forgive you, Gwen, for hurting me. I hope you can do the same, because I know I didn’t make it easy for you.”
She placed a gentle hand over his, squeezing tight. “Thank you, but there’s nothing to forgive. I want us to be friends.”
Colt’s breath rushed out in a whoosh. Sure enough, he somehow felt lighter, as if the weight of this relationship had weighed him down all these years and he could finally let go. He knew the exact word to describe it: closure.
Jill was right. The thought made his smile fade, only because he hated how much he’d hurt her. He pulled his hand back to take a sip of coffee, if only to hide his sudden sadness.
“
And speaking as a friend, I’m also sorry for ruining what looked like a nice date last night,” Gwen said, grinning a little.
“Oh, that wasn’t–well, I don’t know if it was–” he stumbled, not knowing how to explain.
“Trust me, with whatever I saw between you two, it was a date,” Gwen said, waving her hand in the air. “What, I can say that as a friend!”
Colt grimaced. Somehow her statement made everything worse. She noticed the look on his face and tilted her head.
“What is it?”
“It might be awkward to talk about with you,” Colt admitted.
Gwen chuckled. “Try me.”
And that’s how Colt found himself telling Gwen a quick version of Jill, of the relationship they’d built together over the last week and a half. To Gwen’s credit, she didn’t so much as bat an eyelash, instead taking in the information with a sympathetic expression. When he’d finished, he reached for his coffee again, the liquid having gone cold.
“Well, speaking from her perspective, you probably shouldn’t have introduced her to me as Jack’s little sister,” Gwen said.
Colt snorted with impatience. “No kidding.”
“Speaking as a woman and someone who’s dated you, I’d think you might want my advice.”
“Sorry,” he said, sitting up straighter. “But Gwen, can I even fix this, if she really doesn’t want to even attempt whatever it is between us?”
“Look, you hurt her feelings, leading her on over and over again only to finally pull the rug out from under her again, in front of your ex-girlfriend, no less,” she reasoned. “If you can’t be all in, it’s only fair she should guard her heart.”
“But I can’t do that to Jack.” Colt ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his face, frustrated. “You don’t just hook up with your best friend’s little sister. It’s almost as bad as dating their ex-girlfriend.”
“Jill is a grown woman who can and will make whatever decisions she wants.” Gwen’s fingernails tapped the wooden table. “I’m willing to bet she doesn’t care what Jack thinks.”
