by Susanne Beck
The distance between them closed, Derby drew back her fist, moving as if underwater. At the last second, her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed into Ice’s strong arms.
Smirking, Ice bore her weight easily.
At that very moment, as if by fortuitous circumstance, two guards strode into the laundry room, their batons out and ready. "Let her go, Ice," the taller one, Phyllis, said.
Shrugging, Ice did as she was told and Derby’s limp body once again crumpled to the floor.
"Now back away from her. Slowly."
Keeping her hands open and away from her body, Ice did as requested, taking two long, careful steps away from the downed prisoner.
Phyllis stepped over to the slumped form of Derby as her partner, Nancy, kept a wary eye on Ice. Squatting down, she pushed the heavy body over then brought her hand back. It was covered with blood. She turned wide eyes up to Ice. "Jesus Christ. What happened?"
Ice shrugged again. "She tripped."
"Bullshit. Tell me the truth, Ice."
I was about to speak up, when Derby came back to struggling consciousness. Phyllis dodged the flailing fists as she struggled to push the inmate’s huge shoulders back against the rough concrete floor. "Stay still, Derby!"
"Fuck that! I’m gonna kill that fucking bitch! Let me go!!!"
"Derby, I’m warning you, stay still!"
Nancy jumped in to help her partner and between the two of them, they barely managed to subdue the raging woman. Finally they were able to calm her and Nancy grabbed a fresh sheet from atop one of the dryers and pressed it down over Derby’s flattened nose. "Now, what in the hell happened here?" Phyllis asked again.
"What? Fuck, woman, are you blind?" Derby bellowed, her voice muffled with blood and a sheet. "Fucking bitch beat the shit outta me here! Fuckin’ dirty fighter."
"I’m not blind, Derby. I’m asking what happened."
Derby’s eyes darted around quickly, her obviously laboring mind trying to come up with some sort of excuse. Ice waited patiently, the faint smirk still present on her beautiful face. God, the woman wasn’t even breathing hard.
"Me and my buddies came in here ‘cause we heard a noise," the huge woman finally said. "We found that bitch beatin on the little fish over there."
It was obvious the two guards hadn’t noticed us before, because Nancy uttered an "oh shit" and bustled over, gently taking the young woman from my grasp and grabbing yet another sheet to dab away the blood on her face.
"Derby," I started, only to be stopped by a truly chilling glare from Ice. I looked back at her, confused, but kept my peace. The meaning of her look was clear. Shut up.
"We tried ta stop her, and she took us all out. Even hit me when I was down. Fucking dirty fighter."
I bit my cheeks against the need to say something.
Phyllis looked up. "Is that true, Ice?"
Ice shrugged.
Phyllis was a good guard and she obviously didn’t believe Derby’s story. But without any conflicting evidence, she couldn’t do anything about it. "Damn it, Ice, say something! You know you’ll end up in the hole if you don’t."
Ice remained silent, immovable.
"Yeah, the hole. That’s where that bitch belongs. Look at that little fish! She was gonna rape her if we hadn’t come in!"
That did it. Freezing glare or no, I was not going to stand by and let Derby continue to spew her lies while Ice did nothing to defend herself. My arms free of my injured burden, I shot to my feet, fire in my own eyes.
"Angel . . . ." The warning tone in Ice’s voice was unmistakable, but I was having none of it.
"No, Ice. I’m sorry, but no." I turned pleading eyes on the guard. "Phyllis, you know me. You know I don’t lie. I was on my way to the shower when I heard this woman whimpering. I walked in to find Derby and her three friends beating up on her. They’d tied her up and gagged her! I tried to stop them when Ice came in. She gave Derby the chance to leave, fair and square. Derby chose to fight."
"That’s a fucking lie!" Derby roared, once again struggling to get away from Phyllis. "You fucking piece of shit lying bitch!!"
Phyllis straddled Derby’s immense body while looking over at Ice. "Is what Angel’s saying the truth?"
Damn the woman to all seven levels of hell, she still wouldn’t answer!
"Angel?"
"It’s true, Phyllis. All of it. I swear. Ice didn’t start the fight. She finished it."
Finally, Phyllis looked over to the young woman whose beating had started all this. "Laura, who’s telling the truth, hon? Just tell us and we’ll make sure they’re punished."
Derby twisted her head to glare at the young woman, who caught the look and cowered against Nancy’s protective form. "You better answer right, fish, or I’ll fucking kill you."
Laura stifled a sob of fear.
"C’mon, hon. Just tell us. No one here will hurt you anymore. I promise."
After a long moment, Laura held out a trembling hand. "Sh…she did it."
"Who? Ice or Derby? Tell us, hon. Please."
"D—Derby. She . . .she was . . .was gonna . . .r—rape me!" Laura broke down into sobs once again and Nancy cradled her shaking form gently.
"Alright, Derby. You’ve just earned yourself a nice long stretch in the hole."
"Fuck her! You’re gonna believe that fucking fish??? She’s lying! They’re all lying!! They all just want to protect Ice, goddamnit!!"
Phyllis allowed Derby to struggle to her feet, then grabbed her arm and twisted it, high and tight, against her back. "The only liar here is you, Derby. Let’s go." She looked over her shoulder. "Take her over to the infirmary and meet me back in the office." Then she looked over at me. "And you two, get outta here before the warden hears what happened."
Breathing out a sigh of relief, I nodded. Phyllis smiled slightly, then quick marched the growling Derby out of the laundry room, followed closely by Nancy who gently guided Laura down the hall toward the infirmary.
The coldness in the room was suddenly very palpable and I searched around for something to say. "Thanks for your help," I finally commented softly.
Ice turned her deadly cold eyes toward me, her face completely devoid of expression. "I can take care of myself, Angel." Her voice was as cold as the bottom of a new grave. Without another word, she spun and stalked from the room, leaving me to my utter confusion. The three still unconscious members of Derby’s gang weren’t any help either. With a small shrug, I turned and left the room.
So, this is what a broken heart feels like.
Now, before you go crazy on me and ask where a thought like that could possibly have come from, let me go on record as saying that I had no idea either, at the time. All I knew is that I had done something to displease the woman who I was rapidly coming to see as some type of knight in shining armor. And it hurt. Badly.
What I didn’t know is why she had reacted so badly to what I had done. After all, I had stopped her from being branded a rapist, which, even in a women’s prison, is something that ranks right on the low rung with child abuse and molestation. While I didn’t expect gushing praise, I surely didn’t anticipate the coldness I received.
All thoughts of a shower gone in the excitement and its aftermath, I wandered aimlessly, wondering what to do. Part of me wanted to talk to Corinne in the hopes she could tell me what I did wrong. But most of me just wanted to crawl back into my bunk and forget that the day had even happened.
That part won out.
I crawled back into my bunk and laid out on my back, crossing my arms behind my head and staring sightlessly at the ceiling. My mind kept replaying Ice’s last words to me, trying to find a secret meaning that I had obviously missed. "She can take care of herself, she says," I mumbled to the silent plaster. "Well, of course she can. She managed to take out a woman the size of Texas without even breaking a sweat!"
My mind chose that moment to insert a scene depicting the fight in all its glorious detail. My hormones happily applauded as I sh
ifted on the bed. Being attracted to a woman wasn’t something I really considered before. But, then again, there was never a woman in my life who looked, sounded and smelled like Ice. Still, it didn’t bother me too much. Small town girl or not, I had an open mind and knew how to use it. Usually.
My thoughts rode the morbid train right around to the beginning again. What did I do to earn such coldness? What was so wrong about speaking out to defend the innocent? If I hadn’t spoken up, Derby would have gone free and Ice would have been thrown in isolation for something she didn’t do. What unspeakable harm had I done?
Groaning, I flopped my weary body over onto my side, just in time to see the golden curls of Critter as she peeked into my cell. "Mind if I come in?" she asked with a friendly smile on her face.
Returning the smile, I struggled to sit up. "Sure! Come on in."
Nodding, Critter entered and sprawled out on my roommate’s vacant bunk. "Heard what happened."
I let out a slow breath. "Did Ice send you?"
"Nope. Corinne did. Figured you might need someone to talk to."
I shook my head. "How does that woman know so much?"
My friend grinned. "One of the eternal mysteries of the Bog."
"So . . .are you here to yell at me?"
"Nope. I’m just here to listen. And help if I can."
I sagged against the lumpy mattress, looking down at my hands. "I sure could use some."
"I figured as much."
Looking up, I met Critter’s dark, compassionate eyes. "Why was what I did so wrong? I was only trying to make sure justice was done."
"Justice has its own way of being served in prison, Angel. The one rule that stands above all the others is that you never rat out a fellow inmate. Even if they do something that to you is unspeakable."
"But . . . ."
Critter held up one hand. "Angel, why didn’t you tell Sandra it was Mouse and her gang who beat you up in the shower?"
Closing my mouth, I sat back and thought about her question for a moment. "Well . . .I guess it’s because I figured that I’d hurt them enough."
"Exactly. Prison justice. From what I heard, Ice pretty much wiped the floor with Derby today."
That brought an involuntary smile to my lips. "Yeah. She did."
"Do you think Derby got a pretty good payback for what she did to the new girl?"
"Well, sure! But Ice didn’t deserve to be put in isolation for something she didn’t do! And I couldn’t just stand by and let the guards, and everyone else, think that Ice was a rapist!"
"I know, Angel. I know. It’s hard just to stand back and do nothing. But sometimes you have to. Especially in here. Most of the people in this prison know Ice. They know what she’s capable of, and what lines she won’t cross. They know she wouldn’t stoop to rape. Hell, Angel, half the women in here would give their eyeteeth just to spend one night with her! She has no need to take what would be given freely."
I sighed, considering that thought. "I suppose you’re right."
Smiling, Critter got up from the bed and sat down beside me, slinging a friendly arm around my shoulder. "Course I am." Reaching out, she gently cupped my chin, bringing my gaze up to meet hers. "Angel, you know this stuff already. You made a mistake. But it was an admirable one that came from a good heart. This place has all too few of those. Ice was upset, but she knows why you did what you did. Things’ll work out. You’ll see."
A horrifying thought came into my head. "But what if Laura gets into even more trouble? If I hadn’t opened my big mouth, she wouldn’t have been forced to tell the guards who hurt her! Oh God!"
"Shhh. It’s ok, Angel. We’re keeping a close watch on her. Nothing’ll happen. I promise."
"But . . . ."
"Trust me, Angel. Trust Ice. Nothing will happen. She’ll be safe. In a way, you did her a great favor. Not everyone comes under the protection of the Amazons. Because of you, she is now. No worries, alright?"
Sighing, I looked down at my hands which were twisted in my lap. "Sorry. I guess I just made more work for you."
To my great surprise, Critter threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, Angel. You’re a treasure, you know that? An absolute treasure." Giving me a final hug, she rose from the bed and playfully cuffed me on the shoulder. "Take it easy, my friend."
Meeting her eyes, I couldn’t help but return her smile. "You too, Critter."
"I’ll take it any way I can get it." With a grin and a final wave, my friend left me to my thoughts, which were much lighter for her visit.
The next day was, of course, Sunday, and after taking my aborted shower of the day before and spending an hour in forced prayer to a God I wasn’t sure I believed in anymore, I made my way down to the sanctuary of the library.
Some time during my tossings and turnings of the night before, I’d decided to go ahead and purchase Ice’s bonsai rake for her. After seeing the woman fight first hand, I was sure she couldn’t do any more damage with a gardening tool than she could do with her fists and feet. The images of the fight pervaded my dreams all night, causing me to wake up in a sweat more than once, and let me tell you, the sweat wasn’t one of fear.
Before my shower, I’d managed to connect with one of my contacts on the outside who was just on his way to church himself. The deal was done quickly and with a minimum amount of fuss and I was assured that, if everything went well, I should see my new acquisition within the week..
Walking into the library, I immediately headed for my favorite chair at my favorite table and sat down, stretching my still sleepy body and rolling my neck to get the kinks out.
Corinne greeted me with a smile from her place behind her desk. "How are you doing?"
"Better, thanks. And thank you for sending Critter up to see me. She really helped."
My friend’s face dimpled. "Don’t mention it."
We sat for a few moments in companionable silence, the ever present ticking of the clock and the scratching of her pen on paper the only sounds around us. Most Sundays saw the library empty, but since Corinne considered it her home, it was open all the time, customers or no.
I looked down at the table, my fingers tracing over some of the deeply carved graffiti, trying to put into words the flow of my thoughts. Finally deciding to grab the bull by the horns, so to speak, I looked over at my companion’s gray head as it bobbed slightly with her pen strokes. "Corinne, can I ask you something personal?"
Her eyes were warm and kind as they met mine. "Of course, Angel. What’s on your mind?"
"Do you . . .um . . . ." My fingers investigated another piece of inmate artwork. "Do you find women . . .attractive?" I looked up to gauge the expression on her face from the corner of my eye, suddenly feeling very shy in her presence.
Placing her pen down on the desk, Corinne clasped her hands, appearing to give the question serious consideration. "Well, yes, I suppose I do. Not all of them, mind you. That Derby gives me a bit of a pain in my guts, but some . . .yes."
I nodded. "And . . .well . . .have you ever been attracted to one? A woman, I mean. I mean, I know you were married and all, but . . . ."
Her seamed face creased into a grin as she appeared to read my thoughts perfectly. "Indeed I have, Angel. Quite a few, as a matter of fact. Still am, if the truth be told."
The way she looked at me made me blush and turn away slightly. Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
Seeing my discomfiture, she once again dropped that slightly predatory stare that she’d been known to grace me with from time to time. "You have to remember, Angel, that I’m quite a bit older than you are. Things were different when I was growing up."
"How so?"
"People weren’t so . . .open . . .with their sexuality as they are now. If you happened to be attracted to someone of the same gender, you kept it well hidden, or risk a huge scandal. If word got out, you could be whisked away to an insane asylum or even jail and no one wanted to risk that. Plus, my parents had quite a bit of status in the community
where I grew up. Our family name and the reputation that went with it meant everything to them."
"So, you never acted on your attractions?"
The grin became predatory once again. "I never said that."
"Oh." My eyes dropped back down to the table.
I heard the faint scrape of a chair against the floor and, a second later, felt Corinne’s warm presence next to me as she took a seat at my table. "As I’ve said, things were much different when I was a young girl, and my family had status in my community. A marriage was arranged for me, and it was expected that I’d accept that as my lot in life. And I did, for awhile. I had no skills other than those of a wife and a hostess, and no money of my own with which to start a different life."
She paused, and when I looked up, I could see a faint smile on her face and a far away look in her eyes. "Then the war happened and Todd, my husband at the time, was drafted to serve his country. Suddenly, my little corner of the world was bereft of men and I found myself surrounded by luscious femininity." Her smile widened, though her eyes were still very far away. "Ah, what a blissful time that was. It was like tasting chocolate for the first time, or being under the influence of an addictive drug. Once I had it, I wanted more." Her pale cheeks took on a faint flush. "I’m afraid I went a bit overboard."
I was totally drawn into her story, my own questions totally forgotten. "What happened?"
"Todd returned from London and I’m afraid he caught wind of my little indiscretions. Now, when he went off to war, he was a placid, dull man. Easily manipulated. But he returned a greedy, power-hungry tyrant. He agreed to keep quiet on the subject if I would give him hush money. I tried that for awhile, but I’m afraid my parents became a bit suspicious. I had never asked for money before, and now it seemed that just about every week Todd would demand something more. Having no skills of my own with which to earn it, they were the only ones I could turn to. I’m afraid my excuses became somewhat repetitive."
"What did you do?"
"Well, Todd hadn’t been so chaste himself while in London. It seems he dipped his wick into some dirty wax and managed to come home with a good case of syphilis." Her smile turned wicked. "At the time, some of the physicians still treated that particular disease with arsenic."
