by Susanne Beck
Derby squinted her eyes at me. "You mental in there or somethin’? We’re gonna fuckin’ play basketball on it!"
Taking a deep, cleansing breath, I slowly counted to ten, willing my frustration to drain away. "Alright then, how about this? It seems like you’re willing to beat each other’s brains in for a few square feet of broken concrete and rusty backboards, right?"
"Noooow ya get it, fish. Very good."
"Well, instead of fighting for it, why don’t you play for it?"
"Play what? Fuckin’ Twister?"
There are some moments in every person’s life when they fantasize about seeing whether it really is possible to twist someone’s head off. For me, this was one of those moments.
Luckily, Trey took that moment to step in and save me from my second, and this one intentional, murder. "Basketball, Derby. She wants us to play basketball."
"Well no shit, Sherlock! That’s what we’re fightin’ about, ain’t it??"
Trey rolled her eyes. "Against each other, Derby. Am I right, Angel?"
I smiled in relief. "Exactly right, Trey. Five of your best against five of Derby’s best in a ‘winner-take-all’ game. You win, you keep the court. They win, they get it. Make sense?"
Derby did her level best to imitate a large-mouth bass, and I must say, her effort was a good one. If I’d have had a pebble in my hand, I might have been tempted to play my own little basketball game. Forcing my evil thoughts down and away, I simply waited for Derby to fully process my idea.
Trey stepped to my rescue once again. "I think that sounds like a great idea, Angel."
"Thanks," I replied, grinning at her.
Nodding, she turned her attention to the still gaping Derby. "How ‘bout you, white bread? You up for a little five-on-five?"
After a moment, the large woman nodded vehemently. "You got it, spade. I’ll wipe up the court with your ass."
"Yeah, if you can even see the court past that inflated tire you call a belly, honkey. Your fat gut’ll be bouncing more than the ball!"
I rolled my eyes, tensing up as the two behemoths started going at it again. This was definitely not what I had in mind when I started this little windmill tilting expedition. "Enough, you two. Save it for the game, alright?"
"Alright," Derby spat. "Fine. We get Ice."
That statement caused the courtyard to erupt. Derby’s gang was shouting in frenzied appreciation while Trey’s gang was protesting quite loudly.
"Forget it!" Ice’s low timber was easily heard above the din of the crowd. The inmates went silent. "It’s your game. You play it."
"At least referee, Ice!" someone shouted, to the agreement of the rest.
Ice held up her hands. "Oh no. No thanks. It was Angel’s idea. Let her ref."
I spun on my heel, wide-eyed. "Are you joking? Look at me, Ice! I wouldn’t last a second with these monoliths. You’d do much better." I tried out a smile. "Besides, you’re much more intimidating than I am." As I met her eyes, my smile deepened. I just couldn’t help myself. And if you ever had the chance to look into those perfect sapphires, you wouldn’t either. I decided to go for broke when it looked like she wasn’t going to waver. "Please?"
"C’mon, Ice!" another inmate shouted.
"Yeah, c’mon!"
Isolated pleas continued from the crowd until Ice finally relented. "Fine. Be here tomorrow at noon. Whoever wins gets the court for the next year and all my decisions are final. Got it?"
The courtyard erupted again, the inmates joining together in mutual excitement of the next day’s contest. Chancing a look into the corner of the yard, hard by the fence, I saw the resident bookie had garnered some helpers and was doing a brisk business.
Shaking my head at the sheer unreality of it all, I graciously accepted words and pats of congratulations as I made my way from the center of the melee.
"Great job, Angel!" Critter shouted as she came over to me and slung an arm around my shoulders, hugging me briefly as we walked. "When they spring ya, you should apply for a job at the UN. Those bureaucratic idiots could use people like you!"
Blushing, I allowed Critter to lead me back to the free weight area, where Ice was lounging on one of the benches, watching me with a smile on her face.
I stopped before her. "I hope I didn’t break any rules or anything."
The smile broadened, sucking me in. "No. Ya did alright."
My blush deepened, beyond pleased at the unexpected compliment. "Really?"
"Really. Great job of negotiating there."
"Thanks. And thank you for watching my back. And agreeing to referee. I really appreciate that."
"No problem. Ya owe me one."
My mother was always fond of telling me that when someone opened a door, you’d best go through it before it slammed in your face. "You name the time, Ice, and I’ll name the place."
The other Amazons went absolutely silent at my bold comment. From the corner of my eye, I could see incredulous expressions on every face save one. Ice narrowed her eyes at me in an expression that became extremely predatory and caused my mouth to instantly dry. "You’ve got yourself a deal, Angel," she said, the low, soft, smoky voice caressing the vowels and consonants of my name like a lover.
Oh boy.
* * *
That evening, I stood in my cell, shoulders slumped, head down, sweat-streaked, covered with printer’s ink and dust, and totally exhausted. We’d finally received the shipment of textbooks we’d been begging for for months. When we opened the boxes, it was apparent that they had been sitting in some warehouse or other since, perhaps, World War Two. Maybe even earlier than that. The dust on the boxes and books was thick enough to cut with a knife and was that greasy kind that just makes you shudder when your hands sink into it. My sinuses were stuffed so full of it that I remember being surprised that when the inevitable sneezing fit came along, I didn’t shoot my head clear off my neck.
To say I was miserable would be putting it mildly, but it was late and I wasn’t about to chance another encounter in the showers no matter how good at defending myself I’d become. Though Derby and her cronies seemed to be pleased with the arrangement I’d managed to work out, the woman’s mercurial mood swings made her too dangerous a fate to be tempted a second time.
Resolving to bear my misery stoically until morning, I turned down my bed, wincing at the thought of laying my grimy body down on the still-pristine sheets. In the Bog, you get clean sheets once every two weeks, come hell or high water. And since I was already in hell, and a rescuing flood didn’t appear to be on the horizon, I didn’t appear to have much choice in the matter.
Just as I was stripping off the last of my jumpsuit, Critter and Sonny showed up outside my cell wearing identical grins. Those expressions quickly turned to amused smirks when they caught sight of my dishevelment. They entered the cell, threw my grimy uniform up over my chest, grabbed my arms and quick-marched me down to the showers, promising to stand guard outside the door to protect me from any unwelcome surprises.
Once I realized my eventual destination, my struggles ceased quite nicely.
It was disconcerting being in the shower alone again and my mind didn’t help, insisting on showing me flashbacks in vivid detail of my previous encounter with Mouse and her crew. Though the rational part of me knew I was as safe as could be expected, the cautious young woman in me still checked every shadow in every corner to make sure I was well and truly alone.
Satisfied with my assessment, I peeled off the rest of my clothing, grabbed a clean towel and padded into the dank shower room, listening as the dripping faucets laid out a counterpoint to my soft footsteps. I added a melody line, humming quietly to myself to keep the demons at bay as I walked over to a gleaming showerhead and prepared to be assaulted by the frigid spray.
"Damn, that’s cold!"
My flesh humped right up in swift agreement and I had to force myself back under the stinging spray, rubbing my hands furiously over my grimy face to restore circulation as muc
h as to remove the dirt and dust that had accumulated on my face.
Grabbing the slimy cake of soap, I hurriedly got right down to it, once again cursing the hard mineral water for the pitiful attempt at lather I was able to work up.
After I scrubbed my skin to the point of rawness, I set to work on my hair, wincing as I worked my fingers through the wet tangles, resolving to myself once again to just get the whole mess chopped off and be done with it.
Despite the temperature of the water, I found myself relaxing as my body became clean once again. A final rinse and I turned off the shower, grabbing my towel and drying myself off briskly, still humming.
As I turned from the wall, my towel gathered up to my chest, I froze. There, standing no more than five feet away, hands on hips and an unreadable expression on her face, was Ice.
Shock poured through my body with the speed of a freight and I felt my muscles tense up again, as my hands gripped the towel spasmodically. "Jesus, Ice! You scared me! Where did you come from?"
My silent watcher merely raised an eyebrow and smirked, her eyes drilling into mine. I stared back, thoroughly disconcerted. "Is . . .there something you wanted from me?" I asked finally.
Her gaze dropped down to my feet, then did a slow crawl up the rest of my body till she looked into my eyes once again. "The time is now, Angel. Is this the place you had in mind?"
I looked around the empty shower for a moment, trying to figure out exactly what she was referring to. When it hit me, suddenly, I whipped my head back to face her, sure that all the blood had drained from my face. "What . . . ?"
As she closed the distance between us in one easy stride, I could feel the almost unholy heat as it radiated from her body through the thick fabric of her jumpsuit. Still looking at me through those piercing, hard-cut gems, she reached up casually, grasping the front of my towel and drawing it easily away from my body.
My brain must have short-circuited because the messages it was sending to the rest of my body were indecipherable. I stood there, gaping up at her, as she reached out that same hand and tilted my chin upwards.
"Is this what you wanted?" she murmured as she brought her head down slowly, still pinning me with her bright gaze.
The first touch of her lips on mine brought out feelings I’ll never be able to fully articulate. It was like dying. It was like being born. Like drowning. Like flying. Like unsullied innocence and primal want. It was raw and tender. Achingly familiar, though I’d never felt anything like it before.
Contradictions? You bet. But they didn’t stop my body from completely melting into hers as she deepened the kiss and slowly moved forward until my back was pressed tight against the tiled wall of the shower, which produced within me another set of contradictions. The tiled wall was cold and damp against my back while the front of my body was pinned to a great wave of living heat. The clean scent of her was almost overwhelming, as was the silken texture of her thick hair as it brushed lightly against my cheek and neck, to fall against my shoulder and linger there in a soft caress of the finest silk.
I’m sure I moaned, but she swallowed it up as the very tip of her tongue danced across my lips, seeking out an invitation which I willingly granted.
As my lips parted, she engulfed me, pressing ever harder against my trembling body as she explored my mouth with probing sweeps of her tongue, mapping, it seemed, every inch within. When my knees threatened all-out rebellion, she smoothly insinuated her own leg between them, bearing my body up against the length of her thigh.
I know I cried out then; as a part of me which had become molten slid along solid muscle.
Breaking off the kiss, she slid her hands between the wall and my body, her palms and fingers cupping themselves against my backside as she looked down into my eyes. "You’re very beautiful, you know." Her voice was husky with some unnamed emotion, though by the look on her face, I guessed it to be desire.
I tried to return her compliment in kind, for she was incredibly beautiful, but my ability to speak must have fled with my senses because it was nowhere to be found. Instead, I nodded, hoping to get across to her the intensity of my feelings without benefit of words.
The kiss had left me reeling. My only anchor to reality seemed to be the rock-steady leg seated between my thighs and the hot hands beginning a slow caress against my back.
"So innocent. Pure," she continued in an almost-whisper as she brought her lips down upon mine again.
This time, I returned the kiss, reaching up to tangle my fingers in her hair, pulling us closer together and inhaling great lungfuls of her scent as it mixed with the arousal in my own. She growled, deep in her throat. Sharp teeth nipped at my lips and I felt them start to swell, tingling as they pulsed with the beat of my heart. Not wanting to be left out of the picture, my hips picked up the rhythm of our dance, guided by the hands on my back.
I could feel the big muscle in her thigh clench and relax beneath me, pressing into me smoothly before withdrawing, then pressing again, relentlessly. Her large hands kept me steady and the feelings continued to increase in intensity until it was all I could do to lay my head back against the chill wall and let my body take over completely, which it did willingly and without complaint.
Ice followed me, lowering her head still further and attaching lips, tongue and teeth to my neck, nipping, suckling and tonguing as my head whipped back and forth against the cracked, chipped tiles of the wall. I could feel the hard tendons in my neck stand out as my jaw clenched hard against the pleasure soaring through my body.
Her hands seemed to be everywhere on my body; measuring the breadth of my shoulders, running up and down my clenched and straining arms, cupping my breasts and molding them to her palms, trailing down the outsides of my spread thighs and back up, grasping my waist and aiding in my ever quickening rhythm.
Colors spiraled in kaleidoscopic patterns behind my tightly clenched eyelids and I know I must have begged her not to stop because I could feel her chuckles against the skin of my neck. I bit on my own lips hard enough to draw blood, and it was that taste that followed me down as my body became one tiny, brilliantly shining point of light in that eternal half-second before detonation.
As she leaned in slightly closer, the slight brush of coarse fabric against my painfully erect and wanting nipples was all the catalyst I needed.
I know she felt it coming, because she released from my neck, buried her face into my shoulder and grabbed my hips, thrusting her thigh up against me smoothly. I trembled and shook as a great braying sob burst from my captive lungs.
"Don’t be frightened," she whispered into my ear. "Let it out. Let it come."
My body released, pulling in energy, it seemed, from the world around me and sending it back out in torrents of sensation and light, thundering through my body like a herd of untamed horses stampeding across acres of fertile land. I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes as I furiously chewed the inside of my cheeks to keep from screaming out. My body wasn’t under my own control anymore and the feeling, quite frankly, scared the hell out of me.
Finally spent, I collapsed into her all-encompassing embrace, my tears falling on the fabric of her uniform and glittering like tiny diamonds in the muted lighting. "I’m sorry," I whispered, still sobbing and not knowing quite why.
"Shhh," she crooned, her voice low and comforting in my ear. She took us both to the floor, cradling my body like a mother would her child and rocking me with my head tucked under her chin.
After what seemed like an eternity, my crying tapered off and she pulled away slightly, once again lifting my chin with gentle fingers. "You alright?"
Meeting her glance briefly, I lowered my eyes, blushing. "Yes. I . . .don’t know what came over me."
"Sometimes it hits people that way," she said, smiling slightly.
"Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, right?"
"Something like that, yeah." After placing a tiny kiss to the crown of my head, she rose, bearing me up with her and setting me on my fe
et. Then she reached down, picked up my towel and handed it to me, helping me wrap it around my body.
Then she stepped back and looked at me, her eyes so warm and full of caring that I felt my eyes begin to water once again. "Ice, I . . . ."
"Shhh," she whispered again, reaching out a finger and laying it across my lips. "Thank you, Angel."
With another crooked smile, she turned on her heel and was gone from my sight.
* * *
A half hour later, I was standing in my cell, looking at my face through the wavery lines of a cheap prison mirror bolted securely to one wall. The picture I saw was identical to the one that stared back at me an hour earlier, though much cleaner, to be sure.
Why, then, did I feel that a stranger was looking back at me?
I remembered the stories I used to hear in the girls’ room at school, about the first time you went ‘all the way’ with a boy and how much different you were supposed to feel the next morning. Fitting my mother’s definition of the sexual behaviors of a ‘proper’ young woman to a T, I’d waited until my marriage bed to see if that old adage bore fruit. But, aside from some slight soreness between my legs, I didn’t feel any different than any other morning. The loss of my virginity didn’t usher forth any blinding wisdom or staid maturity. It just . . .happened.
I’ll admit to a bit of disappointment, but soon chalked the whole thing up to another of the seemingly unending ‘old wives’ tales’ taught to almost every young girl during her formative years.
Apparently, I was wrong. Whatever had happened between Ice and myself in the showers had changed me in some fundamental way that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. The change eluded me the way a word will dance tauntingly on the tip of your tongue, refusing even the most desperate pleas to come forward and announce itself.
One of the worst parts was that I couldn’t tell exactly how I was feeling about the whole thing. Good? Bad? I didn’t know and that frustrated me. On the one hand, I was happy, gloriously so, that my midnight fantasies had finally come to fruition. On the other, I felt a curious sense of emptiness deep within me, as if I’d been shown the glimpse of a wonderful future full of possibilities, only to have it snatched from my grasp at the last second.
