by Susanne Beck
I could feel my eyes closing against my will at the tickle of her warm breath against my neck. "Oh, it sounds better than good."
Though unseen, I could still feel her smile as she squeezed my hand once more before releasing it.
Taking another moment to compose myself and make sure my legs would hold my weight, I slowly pushed my chair back and rose to my feet, smiling at my hosts. "I hate to be a party-pooper, but all that walking, and the wonderful dinner, about did me in. I think it’s time I went to bed. Goodnight, guys. And thanks."
I entered the bedroom to the sounds of cheery ‘goodnights’ and closed the door with a sense of profound relief as the sturdy wood drowned out the loudest of the noises.
Running my hands through my hair, I breathed out a sigh of relief and sat down on the narrow cot, picking up my knapsack and digging out my journal and pen, thinking to put the day’s adventures down on paper.
But the words wouldn’t come right away, and, leaning back against one wall, I gazed around the tiny room, wondering at the paradox that something so reminiscent of my time in the Bog, a room no larger than my home for five years, could bring with it such a feeling of security.
There’s an old jailhouse maxim that says that an inmate spends all of his time thinking of ways to get out of prison, while an ex-convict spends all of his time thinking of ways to get back in.
While not entirely true in my case (or at least I hoped not), I couldn’t ignore the fact that there was a certain sense of security that came with being told when to get up, when to eat, what to wear, where to go, what to do, and when to sleep. Freedom meant owning up to those decisions once again, and sometimes the choices seemed too many to reach an easy decision on.
I wondered, briefly, what Ice’s thoughts were on the subject, having spent many more years behind bars than I. Then I grinned and just shook my head at my own foolishness. The woman had truly blossomed outside the prison’s imposing walls, giving me insights into her personality that could never have come if we were still trapped within the Bog’s confines.
No, Ice caged was like a wild animal in a zoo. Pretty to look at, dangerous, but dying by slow inches inside, where it counted. I doubted if she spared even one passing thought about the place we’d left behind, and if she did, words like ‘comfort’ and ‘security’ probably weren’t in her vocabulary.
Drawing my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them, rested my chin atop them, and stared blankly at an empty wall, thinking about the people, the friends, I’d left behind, never realizing when I nodded off.
* * *
I awoke from a hazy dream of having tea in the library with Corinne, and blinked the sleep from my eyes to take in the vision of Ice standing against the door, looking down at me with an expression of such loving tenderness that my heart swelled in pure, emotional reaction.
"Hey," she said softly, pushing herself away from the wall and coming to stand beside the cot. "Didn’t mean to wake you up."
"That’s ok," I replied, yawning and stretching the kinks from my neck and back. "I didn’t plan on falling asleep."
"You needed it."
I could feel my eyebrow raise as I stared back at her. "So do you."
She smiled slightly. "Touché."
I grinned right back at her, scoring one for myself.
Her expression turned more sober. "Sorry about dinner. I knew you were starting to get a little uncomfortable."
I gave her a nonchalant shrug. "That’s ok. They’re really nice." I couldn’t help giggling a little. "I think Bull has a crush on me."
Ice grinned. "Bull’s a mountain man. He doesn’t get to see women very often. Especially not one as beautiful as you."
I was sure the blush on my face could have lit up the room. I cleared my throat a bit awkwardly, still unused, even after all this time, to receiving compliments, especially from Ice. "Where did you meet them, anyway?"
Sitting with casual grace on the bed, Ice copied my position, drawing her knees up and resting her head on the wall next to the window ledge. "They’re friends of my father’s, actually. He used to come up here on occasion to get away from it all. Most of these guys are white collar types who like to work off their stress by getting drunk and going up against the savage, razor-toothed deer." Her lips curled in a wry smile. "Bull’s been their guide for as long as I can remember."
As I watched, her gaze became distant, and a trifle sad. "My father brought me up here sometimes. It was fun, hanging out with them. Roughing it in the wilderness." She smiled again, sadly, this time. "He wouldn’t let me handle a rifle, but then again, he wasn’t much into them himself. So he taught me to bow hunt instead." She sighed. "It was right here, in these woods, where I deliberately took the life of another creature for the first time." She looked down at her hands, squeezing them into tight fists and releasing them. "And it’s never been the same since."
Reaching out, I covered her knee with my hand and squeezed gently. Her face became more relaxed as she reached down and covered it with her own. "Anyway, they’re usually up here around this time of the year. I managed to contact Andre at his restaurant yesterday, and set this whole thing up." She blinked, then turned her head to face me. "They really are good guys. Give you the shirt of their backs. Just a little too rowdy for their own good sometimes."
I returned her tender look. "Thanks for sharing that with me. I know remembering those times is hard for you."
She shrugged. "Nah. It’s alright. You deserved to know, anyway. I didn’t tell you before because I couldn’t be sure it’d work out, and I didn’t want you to be disappointed if it didn’t."
Smiling, I grasped her hand tighter and pulled it against my chest. "You haven’t disappointed me yet, my love."
She raised an eyebrow at that, clearly disbelieving, then tugged her hand back, and me along with it. I fell across her lap in an untidy sprawl, which she immediately corrected by pulling me up to sit beside her, my head tucked down against her chest and beneath her chin. Her warm hand made slow circles on my back and I felt my eyelids grow heavy once again, my sigh of contentment ruffling the denim fabric of her shirt.
One of the buttons on said shirt, right at my eye level, seemed to be a bit constricted, so I eased its burden by releasing it from its cloth prison. The soft skin bared by my labors begged for a kiss.
I obliged, smiling as the slowly circling hand on my back hesitated briefly before continuing on its way.
Because the lone button seemed so unhappy without its mates, I decided to give it some company and liberated another, smoothing my hand inside the opening I’d made and pressing another kiss, a bit lower, against warm, fragrant flesh.
"Smooth, Angel." Her amused voice rumbled through her chest and into my ear, sending a flush of warmth through my body.
"Like butter," I replied, grinning into her chest before tracing the line of her sternum with the very tip of my tongue. My fingers reached under her bra to cup a firm breast. "Like silk."
The world spun a bit, then, and when I opened my eyes finally, I found myself straddling a taut waist, indigo eyes staring into mine with well-loved, and unmistakable, intent. Her bent knees provided a solid support for my back and I couldn’t help but cry out softly as the front of my shirt was torn open in a scattering of buttons.
I was more than grateful that I’d had the foresight to forgo a bra that morning when warm lips nuzzled into the valley of my breasts and a teasing tongue darted out to taste my suddenly sweating skin.
Her strong, beautiful hands slipped behind my back as her fingers slid down past the waistband of my jeans, pulling me closer to her body. Turning her head suddenly, she took a nipple into her mouth, and I responded sharply, thrusting against the strong, flat plane of her belly. The inseam of my jeans rode snugly against me with the move I’d made and, groaning softly, I closed my eyes as my head lolled back over her knees.
She encouraged the motion of my body, using her strong legs to help guide me in time with her suckling
lips, teeth and tongue.
When she switched to my other breast, my orgasm came so quickly that I didn’t have time to even draw a breath before I stiffened and shook against her, rolling helplessly with the waves of intense passion that flowed through me, into my lover, and back again.
I barely had time to catch my spent breath before my back met a warm, slightly scratchy, woolen cover. Opening my eyes, I saw Ice above me, still gently thrusting her hips into my widely spread legs, her eyes dark and half-lidded, her hair swinging free, the smile on her face a wild, feral thing.
Ducking her head down, she captured my lips in a kiss full of fire and passionate promise. Her deft tongue glided over my teeth, then into my mouth, filling me with the taste of her. I responded in kind, lifting leaden arms to tangle in her hair and bring her closer to me.
Our twin growls sounded softly in the tiny room, spurring my arousal even higher.
Then I whimpered as her sharp teeth grasped my lower lip and she swirled her tongue over the captured flesh, each sensual move a promise of things yet to come.
She pulled away finally and smiled again, fiercely, before trailing kisses and tiny bites down my supremely sensitized flesh. Her hands reached down between our bodies, and within seconds, my jeans and underwear became a swiftly fading memory, as did hers before she lay back down to claim her spot between my legs.
The first touch of her warm, soft skin was almost enough to send me over the edge yet again and I gritted my teeth against the possibility. Chuckling softly, Ice simply smirked at me, determined to push me to my limits and beyond.
Another smoldering kiss to my already swollen lips and she began a slow glide down my body, aided, no doubt, by the ample evidence of my arousal coating her skin.
Her merciless attentions didn’t stop when she finally, after what seemed several eternities at least, arrived at what I hoped was her final destination. She nipped at the insides of both thighs while her hands contented themselves skimming lightly over my breasts, never settling in one place for more than a heartbeat and serving only to crank my excitement up yet another notch.
When I was almost beyond the point of thinking, let alone begging, one hand left my breast and, a bare, breathless second later, she filled me completely while her mouth covered me, hot and wet and oh, so very needed.
Her tongue and fingers began their slow duet, my breathless pants keeping time, her low moans adding depth to the dance.
Together we moved, one into the other, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, sometimes hard, sometimes achingly soft, reaching the crescendo, where I was finally emancipated, borne up on the sweetest of currents, reaching out to the sky and the sea and the stars.
Reaching out, and making them my own.
I collapsed back against the bed, completely drained, and unbelievably happy. Ice rose up slightly, then covered my body with her own, gently stroking my sweaty bangs from their tangled nest on my forehead. The look on her face was so tender and so loving that tears pricked at my eyes, gilding her in a diamond haze.
"Don’t cry," she whispered. Her face was soft and totally open.
"I can’t help it," I whispered back.
Closing my eyes, I felt the warm touch of her lips on my lids, drying my tears and replacing them with kisses. Then she lowered herself the rest of the way down and gathered me up in a tender embrace, molding our bodies along their entire lengths, one long leg thrown casually over mine.
Then she turned so that we were lying belly to belly, pulling her head away just enough to stare deeply into my eyes. Her expression was deadly serious. "I love you, Angel."
Burying my flushed face against her damp neck, I hugged her with every ounce of strength in me. "I love you too, Morgan. More than I ever thought I was capable of loving another person." I smiled, snuffling against her neck. "I just wish I could tell you how much."
"Ya just did," she murmured into my hair as she tightened her grip around my pliant body. One large hand stroked my hair until I, with the ease of going from one breath to the next, fell asleep in her warm and loving arms.
Sometimes words are overrated.
* * *
I sat up quickly, my heart lodged somewhere in the vicinity of my throat. Only the years spent living in one of the most dangerous places on earth, and the resulting need to keep from showing fear at all costs, kept me from screaming out my fear.
I looked around wildly, my eyes slow to adjust to the near total blackness of the tiny room. Ice’s comforting presence was nowhere to be found and I swallowed down my fear, wondering just what was going on.
The savage pounding that had awoken me sounded again, and I jumped slightly, gathering the sheet up to my chest, still staring blindly at nothing. "Ice?" I whispered soft as I could.
A warm hand to my naked back almost shot me through the ceiling, and another hand covered my mouth, muffling the wheezing gasp that came up from my lungs. Fortunately, the touch was one I knew intimately, and I nodded, signifying I was alright.
Ice removed her hand and slipped into bed beside me.
"Jesus, Ice," I whispered, "you scared the hell out of me there."
"Sorry. I didn’t mean to."
"What’s going on?"
"I don’t know."
That particular piece of information made me more nervous than all the racket still going on outside our door. "You don’t ...know?"
"Not yet. But I will." Leaning across my body, she pulled the shade slightly away from the window. The room was suddenly bathed in flashing red lights.
Leaving it’s temporary home in my throat, my heart then sunk down to my knees, convulsing rapidly as I twisted the sheet in my hands. No! Not already! We just got here! Please, we just need more time!
Releasing the shade to lay flat against the window once more, Ice relaxed slightly and leaned back against the wall. "It’s alright," she said in a low voice.
"It is?"
"Yeah. It’s just the Game Warden."
"The Game Warden?"
Yes, it seemed that I was back to being Ice’s parrot, a habit I thought I’d broken some years ago, but apparently had remained content to hide out until it was faced with a situation just like this one before jumping cheerily into the fray once again. C’mon, Angel. Try and think of something intelligent to say, huh? "Why would the game warden be here at this time of night?" While not a question Einstein might have asked, it was the best I could do under the circumstances.
"Well, normally, the local law doesn’t look too kindly on people jacking deer out of these woods. But the way the natural predators have been run off lately, the herds have grown out of control, so there really isn’t a problem, as long as you’ve got a license."
I nodded sagely. Then another question popped into my mind. "Ice?"
"Mmmm?"
"Bull does have a license, doesn’t he?"
"Yeah."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I hope," she muttered, half under her breath.
Oh boy.
Ice stiffened beside me.
"What?"
"They’re coming this way."
Before I could think to do anything but duck down, as if that action would somehow make me invisible to prying eyes, the door was thrown open and bright light spilled into our room, illuminating it quite thoroughly.
Dead silence.
Not able to help myself, I slowly poked my head around Ice’s broad shoulder, almost unable to prevent myself from collapsing into gales of laughter at the look on the warden’s face; a face that was currently staring at my naked lover in all her magnificent glory.
I didn’t even have to look at said naked, and magnificent, lover to know she was treating the man to one of her famous raised eyebrow stares. "Yes?" she drawled, managing to sound dangerous and sultry at the same time.
The man’s Adam’s Apple bobbed as he swallowed convulsively, his eyes round and shiny as newly minted coins.
"Is there a problem?"
Looking acut
ely uncomfortable, the Game Warden rocked back on his heels. "Um ...no. I ...err ...was just making sure things were ...ok ...in here."
Unable to pass up such a wonderful opening, I stuck my head out further and grinned. "They’re just fine, thanks. No problems here."
The poor man looked to be about a second from fainting. He cleared his throat, fingering his collar and loosening it from its no-doubt tight grip around his neck. "Err ...ok then. As long as there aren’t any problems."
I pretended to think about it. "Nope. Can’t think of a one. We do appreciate your checking, though. Don’t we, Ice?" I nudged my partner with a gentle elbow to the ribs.
Ice pasted on her best imitation of a sincere smile, which, to be truthful, needed a bit of work. "Indeed we do," she replied in a tone that was just a hair short of smug.
"Well, then. I guess I’ll just ...leave you two alone." Clearing his throat one last time, the beleaguered Game Warden slowly backed out of the room, pulling the door shut once he’d fully cleared the threshold.
As the room became dark once again, I gave into my insane craving and collapsed back on the bed, shaking with laughter. After a moment, Ice joined me, though her mirth, typically, was reduced to just a few wry chuckles.
As someone or other has been known to say throughout the ages, "Laughter is the best medicine." And, indeed, for me, it was, banishing all my doubts and fears into a place too deep within me to notice, at least right then.
And, for the second time that night, I fell asleep with a happy heart.
* * *
It often times seems that the closer you get to your final destination, the longer the trip seems to take. That was certainly the truth in my case those first weeks of early spring. We traveled for what seemed like years over rutted mountain roads, some so deeply packed with snow that I despaired of ever seeing civilization again and pictured us all frozen like statues and waiting for some summer hiker to come along and discover our bodies.
True to his word, though, Bull was an excellent guide, and never once lost that cheery--if half-embarrassed-- good nature that kept my usually natural optimism close to the surface.
