by Susanne Beck
By some sort of weird telephonic osmosis, the immense weight of that promise came to rest on my soul. It took up the burden gratefully while the rest of me seemed at a loss. "You shouldn’t have to go through this alone, Ice," I whispered faintly, knowing she would hear me. "Not while I’m sitting safe up here. It’s not fair. Not by a long shot."
"I’m never alone, Angel. You live in my heart. Don’t you know that by now?"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you were so filled with absolute, spellbinding joy that your entire body just goes numb from the sheer enormity of it?
I was having one of those moments. I stared at the phone dumbly, as if it had just sprouted wings and was threatening to fly off.
When a loud burst of static shot through the line, I almost dropped it, and by the time I managed to collect my scattered wits and put the receiver back up to my ear, I heard a woman’s voice speaking in very rapid Spanish.
Then the line went dead.
"Ice?"
Nothing, of course.
"Ice? Are you there?"
When the fact that that particular corpse had no hope of being revived filtered through my still-benumbed brain, I slowly replaced the phone back on its cradle, brushing my fingers against the warm plastic just briefly before letting go entirely.
I felt the very tips of my fingers then trail lightly against my lips, as if to seal in a phantom kiss. Her last words to me rolled through my mind over and over, unceasing and powerful as waves crashing against a distant shore.
"Wow," I whispered the four walls surrounding me, my voice as awed as a child’s on Christmas morning.
* * *
Some time later, I found myself out past the well-lit courtyard, drawing the darkness around me like a well loved coat. The moon hung pregnant and low. Low enough to touch, I thought as I tried to do just that, my hand obscuring its deep-pitted face for a moment. The night wind was cool upon my skin. I felt alive, awake, aware, much like the desert around me.
A slight scuffle behind me heralded the presence of a nighttime visitor. Took ‘em long enough. I chuckled inwardly, waiting with the patience of Job for my watcher to reveal herself as I continued to stare at the moon.
"Um... hello?"
Smiling slightly, I turned to watch Nia step diffidently to my side, her own smile shy and slightly off-center.
"Hi, Nia. What brings you out here so late at night?"
"They... um... wondered if you were ok. But no one wanted to go and find out for themselves." She shrugged. "I said I’d do it. So, here I am."
"That’s very sweet of you, Nia. But I’m alright. Really." Looking back up into the sky, I breathed deep of the fresh, cool air. "Just enjoying the peace and quiet."
She laughed softly. "Yeah, it’s pretty much of a zoo in there. Everybody’s fighting over who has to do the dishes and what to watch on TV."
"Why doesn’t that surprise me?"
She laughed again, a free and unfettered sound that clashed with the healing bruises on her face. After a moment, her expression became more serious. "Did you... talk to Ice?"
I looked back at her with some surprise. In the several conversations we’d had, Ice’s name was never mentioned.
"That’s what they were guessing back at the house." Her tone became slightly defensive, as if she’d taken my surprise for anger.
"It’s ok," I hastened to assure her. "I just wasn’t aware you knew who Ice was."
"Are you kidding? Everybody knows who Ice is!"
I couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. "Oh they do, do they?"
"Sure. I mean, you can’t hang around the Amazons for ten minutes without hearing about her. It’s like she’s some kind of god or something."
"She’s not a god, Nia. She’s a woman. An extraordinary woman, perhaps, but a woman just the same."
"That’s not what they say."
Smiling, I put a hand on her arm, pleased when she didn’t flinch away. "Take it from me."
After a moment, she nodded, then craned her neck to look up at the sky. Letting my hand drop away from her wrist, I joined her in her study and a somewhat content silence fell between us.
"Are you scared?"
Her question was so softly uttered that at first I thought it was only the wind. But when I turned my head, I saw her looking directly at me, her dark eyes questioning.
"Of what?"
Dropping her eyes from mine, she studied the dirt beneath her feet. "I... um... heard what she did to Rio in the stables the other day."
I blinked as my mind scrambled for a foothold in the conversation I seemed to be having.
"They say she almost killed her," she continued, still staring at the ground.
"They say that, huh?"
She nodded. "Yeah."
"Rio wasn’t in any danger of dying." I knew that as well as I knew my own name. "Ice was very angry."
She looked up, not quite meeting my eyes. "Because Rio was threatening you, right?"
"Yes. That’s right."
"The Amazons say she’s a very violent woman sometimes."
"Rio?"
"No. Ice."
"She can be." Again, I spoke honestly, feeling no need to sugarcoat a fundamental truth.
This time, she met my gaze dead on. "And that doesn’t scare you?"
A simple question, yes. But the answer was anything but simple. But if that night on the dock, seemingly so long ago, had taught me anything, it was that my perceived fear of Ice was really a fear for Ice. "Not in the way you’re thinking, no," I answered finally, knowing she wouldn’t be pleased with the answer, but having none other to give.
The look she gave me in return was one of patent disbelief and I’ll admit that I felt my jaw stiffen at the seeing of it. "Those stories you told me about your husband. Isn’t being with someone like Ice sort of like jumping from the frying pan into the fire?"
"Nothing could be further from the truth, Nia. Ice would rip out her own heart before she’d raise so much as a finger against me."
"But how can you say that? How do you know?"
When my voice came, it was my heart that spoke the words. "Because she loves me."
And that was the most fundamental truth of all.
After a very long moment, she finally looked away. Her body seemed smaller somehow, as if my words had deflated something she held very tightly within her. "Oh."
Sensing her need to be alone to ponder what I’d just told her, I laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, and when she looked up, gave her the slightest of smiles. "I’m going to go back inside. Will you be okay out here?"
Returning my smile, she nodded. "Yeah. I’ll be along in a little bit."
"Alright then. Happy Thanksgiving, Nia."
Her smile broadened. "You too, Angel. And... thanks. For giving me something to think about."
"Anytime."
As I walked back into the house and prepared myself for bed, another Thanksgiving day passed into the mists of time, with an ending much sweeter than its beginning.
And for that, I was truly thankful.
* * *
It seemed that my head had hardly warmed the pillow when I found myself awake again. Craning my neck, I caught the none-too-faint noises of a door closing and feet quickly marching down the hall, sounds which had woken me from my sleep.
Slipping out of bed and tugging my T-shirt down to cover everything that needed covering, I quickly padded across the room and opened my door just in time to see Pony blow, like a hurricane, into the room next to mine. Nia’s room, my mind helpfully supplied as I crossed glances with Critter, who was following close behind, a no nonsense expression setting her face in somber lines.
Shouting, followed by a high, breathless scream vaporized the last of the sleep clinging to my system and, startled, I ran from my room into Nia’s. Pony was standing above the bed, her face brick with rage. In one tightly clenched fist lay the sheet that had once covered Nia’s body. The other hung loose by her side, though her
muscles bulged beneath the tight shirt she wore, telling their own story about the state of her anger.
Nia was curled in a fetal ball on the bed, her hands wrapped tight around her head. She was moaning loudly in what I took to be sheer terror.
"Back off!" I yelled to Pony, pushing past Critter and slipping into bed beside Nia. I tried to gather her up into my arms, but at the first touch of my hand, she screamed again and jerked away, rolling over to the very edge of the bed and staring at us all with wide, blank eyes.
"What the hell is going on here?" I demanded, more than a little angry myself.
"Tell her, Nia!" Pony shouted. "Tell her what you did!"
Nia’s only answer was a moan.
"Go on! Tell her!!" The veins in her neck stood out in stark relief against the flushed rose of her skin. "Tell her, damnit!"
"Pony, stop! Please! You’re scaring her to death!"
"She deserves it! She deserves more than that! She...goddamnit!!!" Throwing the twisted sheet down onto the bed, she turned and stalked over to the window, whipping the heavy blinds aside and peering out into the coming dawn.
I turned my head from that scene bestow a totally bewildered look on Critter, the only one among us who seemed to have retained at least some semblance of sanity.
"She called Richard to come and get her. Even worse, she gave him directions to the ranch."
"What??" In utter disbelief, I turned to Nia, who was once again huddled in a tight ball, apparently well past the point of responding to anything. I turned back to Critter. "How do you know?"
"Another Amazon, Tweaker, was with Cheeto in Las Vegas when they picked up Nia. Tweaker stayed behind to make sure Richard didn’t follow them back to the ranch. Last night, she overheard him talking to a group of his buddies, saying that his wife had called him and he was going back down to, as he put it, ‘break the bitch out’." She ran one hand through her hair, sighing deeply. "That was about four hours ago. Tweaker’s tracking them as we speak."
"How many?"
"Six. In three cars."
"Shit."
She sighed again. "Yeah."
Pony turned slowly from the window, letting the blinds drop back into place. "That bitch has put every single woman on this ranch in danger." She laughed mirthlessly. "It’s not like any of us was surprised when she called that overgrown shitbag. She’s done it more times than I can count." Her fists clenched again. "But this... this..." Her jaw clamped down so tightly, I thought her teeth would shatter. "Motherfucker!" She turned back to the window again.
Resisting the urge to get up and try to offer comfort to Pony—a useless gesture in any event—I settled for relaxing slightly and looking up at Critter. "What now?"
It was Pony who answered, however, still staring out the window. "We’re gonna make sure that fucker forgets this place even exists." When she turned to face us, all traces of anger were gone. In its place stood calm resolution. "Critter, wake up Cheeto and have her help get all the women from the cottages in here. Once everyone’s inside, lock the doors and don’t let anybody leave. Not for any reason. Got it?"
Critter nodded.
"I’ll wake Montana and gather the rest of the Amazons. We’ll stop that bastard in his tracks. Understood?"
"Understood."
"Alright then. Let’s get to it."
"What about me?" I asked, slightly miffed at being left out of the plans.
"You stay with her. Make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid." The sneer on her face was quite pronounced.
Feeling myself stiffen, I came to my feet before I quite realized I was even standing. "Pony? Could I speak to you for a moment? Outside?"
Open-mouthed, she looked at me as if I’d grown another head.
"Now."
After a long, silent battle of wills, Pony backed down slightly, nodded brusquely, and stalked out of the room. I glanced at Critter. "Will you stay with her for a minute? I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave her alone right now."
"No problem," she said, favoring me with a slight smile that had more than a touch of awe mixed in.
When I walked out into the hallway, it was to find it lined with women, each with a shocked expression on her face. I looked at Corinne, who was standing closest.
"I’ll help with Nia," she whispered, and I gave her a grateful nod. If anyone had any hope of comforting Nia, it was Corinne. She just has a way of reaching out to the unreachable. It’s a gift, and one I’d gladly pay good money to have.
Ignoring the rest of the women, I followed Pony down the hallway, through the living room and out into the cool dawn. When she stopped, I stopped, staying several feet behind her and staring at a back she had turned to me. "Pony," I said softly.
Her fists clenched and the broad, thick muscles in her back bulged under her shirt, but she didn’t turn around.
"Pony, please."
When she finally turned, her expression was a curious mixture of anger, respect and a curious sadness. "Little Angel’s all grown up, huh?" she said, a bittersweet smile on her lips.
"Pony... it’s not like that..."
"Isn’t it?"
"No. It isn’t."
"Then maybe you could explain it to me, Angel. Because the last time I checked, I was responsible for security here. Which means that in a situation like this, everybody listens to me. Even Montana. Or are you above that now?"
"I’m not above anything. You know that."
"All I know is what I saw, Angel. And what I heard."
I laughed a little. "Funny. I was going to say the same thing."
Dark, narrowed eyes stared back at me. "What do you mean?"
"Pony, do you realize how much you terrified Nia back there?"
"So? You heard what she did!"
"Yes, I did. But do you also realize that what you did to her, how you yelled at her, was probably almost exactly like something her husband would do? I know it’s exactly what Peter used to do to me."
Her lips parted slightly as her eyes widened. Obviously, it was something she hadn’t considered.
"Look. I know you were angry. You have every right to be. What she did was foolish and thoughtless. But it’s also in the past. What we have to do now is to work on some way of rectifying her mistake."
"That’s what I’m tryin’ to do, Angel! Or do you think I’m just givin’ orders cause I feel like it?"
"I realize that, Pony. But..." How to put this tactfully.
"But what?!"
So much for tact. I sighed heavily. "Listen. Keeping Nia locked up here isn’t any better than the relationship you just got her out of. I know you don’t like it. I don’t like it either. It’s dangerous. But the fact of the matter is that Nia did call her husband. And she needs to be given the choice to see him or not. If you take that choice away from her, can you really say that that’s any better than what he would do to her?"
"Sure I can," she replied, sneering. "I’m doing it because I want to protect her, and everyone else."
"And I’m sure that sometime in his life, her husband thought the same thing. Either way, it’s wrong. Nia is an adult. She needs to be treated like one."
"Then she damn well needs to start acting like one!"
I took a step closer. "That’s not for you or me to decide, Pony. You need to let her make this choice. It’s the right thing to do, and I think you know that."
I could see the knowledge come to her face. I could also see, by the set of her jaw and the tenseness of her body, how hard she was still trying to fight it. "I don’t have time to be anybody’s babysitter," she said finally, grudgingly.
I couldn’t help smiling. "You won’t have to. I’ll do it."
"Oh no. No. No. No. No. No. Forget it, Angel. Not a chance in hell."
"Pony..."
"Forget it, I said! No way, Angel. I do that, and I might as well let that bastard husband of hers put a gun up to my head and pull the trigger. At least then I’ll only die once. You get hurt out there, and Ice will cut me up into li
ttle bitty pieces, then kill me, then resurrect me, then kill me all over again. Nope. Not happening. Sorry."
"Pony, listen to me."
"Nope. Sorry."
I looked at her, struck with the almost unbearable urge to laugh. I could almost picture her on some playground somewhere sticking her fingers in her ears and shouting "I’m not listening! I can’t hear you! LaLaLaLa!"
I guessed my struggle against laughter must have shown up on my face, because she halted her rant in midstream, planted her fists on her hips, and stared at me. "What’s so damn funny?"
I wiped the smirk off my face, feeling oddly chastised, like a child with her grasping appendage caught in a baked goods container. "Nothing."
"Yeah. Right."
Clearing my throat, I struggled to get the conversation back on course. "At least hear me out, Pony."
"Can you handle a gun?"
"No."
"Then forget it. Period. End of story."
As she turned to leave, I reached out, grabbed her arm, and turned her back to face me. She looked at me, down at her arm, then back up at me. "You know, I’m really getting tired of you doing that to me."
I dropped my hand to my side. "At least hear me out," I repeated. "Please."
Crossing her arms over her chest, she leveled her best glare at me. "Fine. Start talking."
"Nia trusts me. And I think, in some way, she respects me as well. We share the same history. If I take her out there, maybe she’ll be able to see exactly the kind of person her husband is. And maybe she’ll stop going back to him."
To her credit, she was really listening to what I had to say. "That’s a hell of a lot of maybes for you to risk your life like that, Angel."
"You’re risking your life too, aren’t you?"
"Yeah. But I’ll have a gun in my hands."
"And I’ll have twenty women with guns all around me. I think that evens the odds a little." I reached out again, and this time, she accepted my touch. "I wouldn’t suggest this if I didn’t believe it would work, Pony. All I’m asking is for you to have a little faith in me and believe it too."
"And if I don’t?"
"Then I’ll do as you ask and stay inside. No questions asked."
As she looked at me, I could almost see the gears turning inside her head. After a moment, the faintest of grins curved her lips. "You know the name of a good shrink?"
