by Susanne Beck
A short wait, and then the doors were flung unceremoniously open, temporarily blinding me with the brightness of the sun as it shone in on the black interior. I tried to cover my eyes, but with my hands bound to my waist, the task was a fruitless one indeed, so I settled instead for squinting.
Ice’s long form cast an ominous shadow over us, backlit as it was from the brilliant sun shining over her left shoulder. I rose with the rest, relieved to finally be standing once again, and more or less followed them—not having much choice in the matter at any rate—into the outside world once again.
Stepping outside, I chanced a look around, taking in only empty desert as far as my eyes could see. Bringing my attention back to the situation at hand, I saw Ice standing in front of Rio with an expression any sane person would characterize as murderous.
For her part, Rio was standing so stiff and so straight it was as if someone had poured molten lava down her spinal canal and allowed it to harden into cement. Her normally bronzed face was ashen with fear and I found my heart, yet again, going out to her.
After a long, lingering look, Ice next moved to Pony, who looked like fainting was a distinct possibility in her very near future. Pony had known Ice longer than the rest of us, and had always held an extremely deep and abiding respect for the woman who was my lover. To disappoint Ice was a fate far worse than death could ever be for her.
Ice knew that and if only to spare her feelings, stepped past after giving her a brief, but significant, look. Nia came next, and though she was trying hard not to show it, I could feel her fear in the trembling of her body.
And then, it was my turn.
Though hidden behind the mirrored lenses of her sunglasses, I could feel her eyes rake over me. My skin tingled, feeling exposed and totally vulnerable to her gaze. Her serious expression didn’t change one iota, and I felt a curious combination of fear and longing flutter through me on butterflies’ delicate wings.
After a long, tense moment, her expression softened just slightly as her hand came up to brush gentle fingers against my cheek.
I felt weak with relief, my legs nearly buckling beneath me. My head tilted upward as hers lowered and our lips brushed together in a kiss of tender welcome.
Thoroughly overwhelmed, it took me a moment to realize that the sounds I thought to be bells were actually chains rattling as Nia struggled to step between us.
"You son of a bitch! What do you think you’re doing? Leave her alone, damnit!!"
Three woman around me gasped as Nia managed to land a glancing blow to Ice’s turned back, and Pony and Rio moved as far away from the young woman as the meager length of their chains would allow, as if she were a plague-bearer and marked for certain death.
Casually reaching behind her, Ice grabbed a handful of Nia’s shirt and easily held her off without breaking the sensual tangle of our lips.
Only when she was good and ready did she pull away from me and turn to deal with the struggling Nia, peering at her over the tops of glasses which she’d lowered slightly. "Did anyone ever tell you that it’s rude to interrupt?" she asked mildly.
Nia’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again.
"Something you want to say to me?"
"Your eyes... ."
A finely arched eyebrow disappeared into Ice’s hairline. "Yes?"
"They’re so... .so...um...blue!"
Ice just looked at her.
"And you’re...I mean...um...your voice...it sounds...um... ."
Unable to help myself, I burst out in laughter, thoroughly enjoying the young troublemaker’s first taste of the indomitable Morgan Steele. The others looked at me as if I’d grown a third head, which, of course, only made me laugh harder.
After a moment, I decided to relieve Nia of her misery. "Nia, I’d like to introduce you to Ice."
She turned wide eyes to me. "Ice? Ice as in your... . That Ice?"
Grinning, I nodded. "That Ice, yes. Ice, this is Nia, a...friend of ours."
"So I’ve heard," Ice replied, smirking slightly.
In response, Nia flushed a brilliant scarlet and looked as if she wished a giant sinkhole would conveniently appear just beneath her feet and swallow her whole.
Turning her attention back to me, Ice produced a key from her gunbelt and unlocked my shackles. Then she pulled me into a tight embrace, her muscles trembling faintly. The rapid beat of her heart against my ear told me all I needed to know about her emotional state at that moment.
I knew the one thing we both needed at the moment was a bit of privacy, so when she pulled away and placed an arm around my waist, I went with her willingly, and with a lightness in my step which hadn’t been there for months.
Before we reached the vehicle’s long shadow, Ice tossed the key carelessly over her shoulder. "We have some unfinished business," she said, not bothering to look behind her. "Don’t even think of running."
I couldn’t help but grin slightly as I imagined the expressions on the faces of the women behind me.
I had thought, perhaps, that we would step inside the van, but Ice instead turned me so that my back rested comfortably against one of the side panels. Reaching down, she clasped my waist and smiled slightly. "Hey," she whispered.
I tried for casual, at first. "Hey, yourself." Grinning a little, I bumped her knee with mine. "Come here often?"
Gifting me with a dazzling grin, she just shook her head, snorting softly through her nose as she removed her sunglasses and tucked them neatly into her right breast pocket.
Unable to help myself, I threw my body against hers, melding myself to her as I felt those strong arms wrap themselves around me, enfolding me in a living cage filled with warmth, tenderness and love. It was a place I never wanted to leave, so I wrapped my own arms around her lean muscled frame and held on for dear life. Tears came, and I let them fall, heedless of anything save for the beat of her heart in my ear, the feel of her body against my own, and the cherished scent of her skin.
"Shhhh," she whispered, pressing a kiss to my hair. "Don’t cry, Angel."
"But I missed you." It was all I could get out before my sobs made words impossible to form.
"I know, sweetheart. I missed you too. So much."
"Please don’t send me away," I whispered in desperation against her chest. "I couldn’t bear it if you did. Being without you is killing me inside."
Looking back on these words as I write them, I suppose I should feel the flush of embarrassment heating my face. I’ll be the first to admit that I sounded like a small, lost child rather than the strong adult I thought myself to be at the time.
I should, perhaps. But I don’t. All I can feel, clear and sharp as if it were happening now, is and was the anguish lancing through me at the thought spending even one more moment away from her.
She didn’t answer me, which was fine, because I wasn’t expecting one.
After a long, quiet moment, we pulled away at the same time. Reaching out, she tenderly wiped the tears from my cheeks, the look of adoration in her eyes making me feel as tall as a Titan.
"I’m sorry," I murmured. "I shouldn’t be putting any more pressure on you."
She favored me with that wonderful half-smile of hers, that crooked grin that I see every time I close my eyes. "’s ok."
"No it isn’t. But I’m too happy to argue about it now." I felt my nose crinkle as I grinned right back at her, so happy and so much in love that I thought I would burst with the intensity of feeling running through me. I fingered the sharp crease of her uniform shirt. "Do I want to know?"
Her grin broadened. "Let’s just say that Officer Martinez is probably waking up from a nice, long nap right about now."
"Naked."
"Hey! I left his underwear on."
I laughed. "Well, that’s something, I suppose."
She shrugged. "Better than busting you out with my gun. I don’t think they would have taken too kindly to that.""
"Probably not." I looked up at her again after a short pause. "
Montana?"
"Through Donita. Who’s rather pissed that you’re out of the country, by the way."
Suddenly embarrassed, I looked down at my dusty boots. "I know. It was stupid. But I had to do something. The waiting and wondering was...well, it was...hard." I could feel tears threatening again, but held them back through sheer force of will. I looked back up at her. "Don’t blame the others, Ice. Pony and Critter both tried to talk me out of coming with them. I just wouldn’t listen."
Shaking her head slowly, she put her glasses back on, denying me the intimacy of her eyes. "I don’t blame them for that, Angel. You made your own decision and I know you’ll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be."
I found myself nodding, though inside, I felt a faint tendril of nervousness seep its way into my belly at the sudden, almost ominous turn of the conversation.
"What I can’t forgive, nor will I forget, is the idiocy of going out to get drunk down here. Medical supplies, I can understand. They’re needed. But unless someone has a damn good reason for walking in to that bar... ."
Her voice trailed off, but I didn’t need to be some sort of psychic Boy-Scout to follow the trail her thoughts laid out. I felt my heart pick up its pace as I watched her stare out somewhere over my left shoulder, her fists slowly clenching and unclenching in time to the muscles in her jaw.
"We didn’t think," I finally mumbled, acutely embarrassed.
She peered at me over the rims of her glasses, her eyes flashing silver. "That’s right."
Without another word being said, she stepped past me and back into the sun as she rounded the van.
Like a scolded puppy, I tagged at her heels and stopped behind her as she halted in front of the rest of our friends. To a woman, their faces were pale as cream, even in the light of the blinding desert sun. Ice’s body was tense and I prepared myself for the explosion I knew would follow.
One we all deserved, myself no less than the rest.
We all were left wanting, however, when she abruptly jerked open the van’s doors and gestured with a sharp tilt of her chin. "Inside. Now."
If those women had been a team competing in the twenty foot dash, they would have won hands down.
"Not you," she said, grasping me by the arm as I attempted to follow my colleagues. "You ride up front with me. The rest of you keep your mouths shut and your ears open. Be ready to put those chains back on if we get stopped for any reason. Got me?"
She slammed the doors closed on their group nod.
Still grasping my arm, though gently, she led me around to the van’s passenger side, opened the door, and helped me in. After I was securely in the rather threadbare seat, she closed the door and walked around to her side, then hopped in behind the wheel.
Still silent, she started the engine, put the truck in gear, and pulled away in a great fan of desert grit.
As we drove down the rutted, half-paved roads, I kept my silence, but couldn’t help stealing glances at her chiseled profile, watching the interplay of muscles as her jaw clenched tight, and at her hands, whose knuckles stood white against the burnished tan of her skin as she gripped the wheel with frightful intensity.
My lips ached to form words that my mouth refused to utter. Words of apology and recrimination. Promises to do better next time. Pleas not to be sent back.
My mind knew, however, what my heart wouldn’t admit. That Ice wasn’t ready to hear my words. That beneath her anger lay a vast wellspring of fear for my well-being and, even, the well-being of the others with us. That anything I might say now would only run up against the stone wall of her anger and fear, and fall shattered to the ground, ignored.
So instead I settled myself more comfortably into the seat and stared out at the blank scenery coming toward me through the windows, trying hard not to cry.
She must have sensed that, though, because after a moment, one hand came off the wheel, reached out, and clasped mine in a tender tangle of fingers. "I love you, Angel," she said, her voice raspy. "Never forget that. No matter what."
"I won’t," I whispered, tearing up.
"Good." Withdrawing her hand from mine, she placed it back on the wheel as silence descended once again, more comfortable because of her gift of love.
* * *
We drove on for quite awhile in that silence, with nothing but the silent desert for company. I felt myself getting sleepy, but fought hard against it, wanting to savor every second with Ice by my side. With the thought that perhaps some music would keep me awake, I looked toward the dash, only to see an empty hole where the radio should have been. So much for that....
Swallowing hard, I then cleared my throat. "Where...are we going?"
She spared me a brief glance before returning her attention to the road. "The legal crossing’s too dangerous. There’s an out-of-the-way place I know that should be safe for you to cross back over. We’re almost there." Her voice was quiet, but determined. Whatever emotions she was feeling were carefully concealed beneath the stone exterior she was displaying.
My jaw opened to say something, but another glance from my lover closed it with a clack of teeth on teeth. I sighed, then slumped in my seat, my mind, like a spider, already beginning to spin out this plan or that, all with the express purpose of making myself invaluable to her here. I just had to find the right one.
"Shit."
Though the word was softly uttered, it was more than enough to pull me from my thoughts and plans. "What? What is it?"
"Roadblock."
Leaning forward in my seat, I strained my eyes, but the best I could come up with was a wink of sunlight on metal. I looked over at Ice, then back at the road. "How do you know?" I asked finally.
"I can see it. Straight ahead. About five miles. Maybe less."
Since staring out into the sun was only giving me a headache, I gave up on it rather quickly and simply took Ice at her word—an effortless task, to be sure.
"Is it for us?"
"I can’t be sure. But I doubt it. I left the guard pretty far from civilization. More likely, they’re set up to catch people trying to cross over illegally."
"How do we handle it?"
Her hand came off the steering wheel and to the gun at her hip. Her fingers gently eased the strap away from the holster. "If I tell you, be ready to run."
Her softly spoken words caused a burst of adrenaline to rush through my body, quickening my heartrate and breathing, suffusing my muscles with life-giving energy. I sat up straighter in the seat, only now able to catch the beginnings of what looked to be a good sized line of cars snaking out from a central point on the road in front of us. Off to one side, a patrol car sat, it’s lights flashing and illuminating the desert in a red wash of color.
Something occurred to me, and I looked over at my lover. "Ice?"
"Mmm?"
"If these guys really are just looking for illegals, what are they gonna think of an Anglo like myself sitting in the front of a police van? Unbound?"
"You’ve got a point," she replied, gradually slowing the van until it came to a stop behind the last car. Turning to me, her right hand lashed out in a move too quick to follow, and before I knew it, my shirt was ripped nearly in half, though by some miracle, my breasts were still covered.
Mostly.
"Happy to see me?" Though the situation was dire, I just couldn’t help myself. That little evil spot inside me chose the most perverse situations in which to come out to play.
She gave me a little smirk before returning her gaze to the line of cars in front of her, doubtless trying to figure out the puzzle of the roadblock and leaving me to figure out the puzzle of my suddenly torn top on my own.
Light soon dawned. "Ohhh! You’re gonna play at being the person Nia thought you were, aren’t you. A disgusting pig with a taste for blondes?"
The next glance she shot me was over the rim of her glasses. "Actually, I kept you from being beaten to a bloody pulp by the animals in the back of the van, but if you want to go the sexual p
rey route, be my guest." Her smile was a predator’s grin, flashing white and full of teeth.
The contradictory sensations which surged through my body amazed even me. I didn’t have time to dwell on them though, as the van started to inch forward, bringing us closer to our unwanted destination.
"Which way do you think I should play it?" Though that might have sounded flirty, I was, in point of fact, utterly serious.
"You’ll figure it out when the time comes," she replied offhandedly.
I stared back at her, a little stunned. "I don’t even understand the language, Ice. You have that much faith in me?"
The look I received swallowed me whole.
"Always."
Into each person’s life, I believe, come moments that you wish time would freeze long enough for you to savor them in all their perfection.
This was one of those moments for me.
* * *
After an interminable wait which saw me nearly pulling my hair out in frustration and nerves, it was finally our turn. A tall, broad man who strained the seams of his uniform walked up to the driver’s side and lowered his head, peering in. His eyes were covered by mirrored sunglasses and his mouth was mostly hidden by a huge, bristly moustache which was just showing the first flecks of gray. All of this made him very hard to read, which was, I suspect, his intention.
All of which made it difficult, of course, to choose a course of action. I finally decided on a combination of defiance and innocence. Not a likely pairing, I know, but one that I’d used to great success all my years in the Bog. My situation being what it was, it wasn’t very hard to slip back into that role, and the ease with which I adopted it again would have no-doubt frightened me, had I the time or the wherewithal to ponder it closely.
In any event, whatever he saw in me must have appeased him, because after sparing me the briefest of glances, he muttered something to Ice, and she produced a sheaf of papers she’d stowed next to her seat. Our transfer papers, I guessed.