by Radclyffe
When she entered her, Jordan loosed a sharp cry and Kip whispered, “Feel me.”
“Deeper,” Jordan murmured, gripping Kip’s arm, the muscles under her fingers tight as steel bands. She wouldn’t last more than another stroke, too sweet, too powerful, too perfect.
“That’s it, baby,” Kip crooned.
“Oh!” Jordan thrashed as the orgasm swept through her.
Kip pressed her forehead to Jordan’s breast, quieting inside her, content to stay connected forever. Jordan’s fingers played fitfully in her hair while her heart banged against her chest.
“Happy now?” Jordan murmured.
“More than you can imagine.”
“Out.” Jordan tapped Kip’s head. “Out. Done. Done now.”
Jordan sighed as Kip gently withdrew and wrapped her arms around Kip’s shoulders. Nestled in Kip’s arms, she stroked everywhere she could touch. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking how right Kip felt in her arms, knowing it was foolish and too satisfied to care. Just for now she would take the pleasure and rejoice.
“Does making me come make you crazy?” Jordan finally whispered, her mouth against Kip’s ear.
Kip shuddered in her grasp. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“I might.” Jordan kissed her. “How about I see.”
Wordlessly, Kip shifted to her side until they were face-to-face. Jordan skimmed lower on Kip’s stomach, circled her clit. Kip groaned.
Jordan’s heart filled her chest. “Oh, you are ready, aren’t you.”
Kip laughed, a wild abandoned sound. “I’ve been ready since the day I laid eyes on you.”
“And you have charmed me from the moment I saw you.” Jordan kissed her, matching the glide of her mouth over Kip’s to the long, silky caresses between her legs.
“Just…charm?” Kip’s lids flickered as Jordan stroked her faster.
Jordan couldn’t answer, not without telling the truth about all the ways Kip captured her heart and soul, and speaking the truth would make it real. She kissed her harder instead, quickening her strokes even more until Kip rode her fingers in a wild burst of movement, her harsh cries loud in the still room.
“Damn,” Kip growled and came in Jordan’s hand.
Jordan held her, silent still, her secrets safe.
*
The ringing of a cell phone woke Jordan, and her eyes flew open. “What?”
“Mine.” Kip rolled away from her, fumbled on the floor, and pulled her cell phone from her pants.
“Hey,” Kip said, her voice husky with sleep. “What, no. No, no, I’m awake. I’m good. I’m good. Fuck, what time is it?”
Jordan glanced at the bedside clock. Six p.m. Lord, they’d spent the whole day lost in each other. Beside her, Kip sat up abruptly.
“What? Where’s Mark?”
Awake now, alert to the strain in Kip’s voice, Jordan sat up too. Kip dragged a hand through her hair, her entire body rigid.
“Did you call 9-1-1? Well, I don’t know, isn’t that what you should do?” She jumped out of bed, snatched her pants off the chair by the bed, and almost fell over trying to put them on while she held her cell phone.
Jordan had never seen Kip rattled by anything, but she was nearly panicked now. Jordan fished pants and an old T-shirt from the top of the clean laundry basket in the corner, pulling them on as she absently registered she’d never actually washed Kip’s clothes, and kicked into a pair of boots without bothering with socks. If Kip was in some kind of trouble, she wasn’t letting her go off to face it alone again, no matter what Kip said.
“No, don’t wait for me. All right, all right, okay. Are you sure? Like how fast?…Okay, I’ll be there…ten minutes. Don’t do anything until then.”
Kip dropped the phone on the bed and spun around, staring at Jordan. “Savannah. Savannah is having a baby.”
“Who’s Savannah?”
Kip got her pants up and zipped, and yanked her T-shirt on over her head, not noticing it was inside out. “My cousin. I have to go.”
“I’m calling an Uber.” Jordan fired up the app and put in the request. “Kip, there’s time. Focus. Is there someone else you need to call?”
“Later, maybe. She already called her husband. He’s way the hell across the country. She’s early by two weeks. Is that all right, do you think?”
“Happens all the time.” Jordan smiled and pointed at her T-shirt. “You might want to fix that.”
Kip glanced down and grimaced. Once she’d fixed her shirt, she took a deep breath and looked moderately less spooked. “Sorry. She’s like my sister. If anything happened to her…”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine, but you should probably get over there.”
“Right.” Kip hesitated. “Do you think you could come with me?”
“Of course, if you want me to.”
Kip grabbed her hand. “I do. I need you to keep me sane.”
“Then I’m coming.” Jordan threw an arm around Kip’s waist and pointed her toward the door. “Trust me.”
The Uber was downstairs by the time they got to the street. Kip gave him the address and told him to hurry. They didn’t have far to go, and ten minutes later they were pounding up the stairs to the third floor of a beautiful apartment building overlooking Central Park.
Kip hammered on the apartment door. “Savannah. It’s me.”
A voice from inside called, “It’s open.”
Kip pushed inside and Jordan followed. A very pregnant woman lay propped on the sofa, her feet up on several pillows, a watch within reach on the coffee table beside her. She was beautiful, her long blond hair shining, her face slightly flushed, but luminous. She didn’t look like a pregnant woman in distress, for which Jordan was immensely grateful. She didn’t think Kip could handle anything happening to this woman.
Kip knelt beside the sofa, grabbing Savannah’s hand. “How are you feeling? We should go.”
“I called my obstetrician and she said there’s no rush, that I can head over to the hospital anytime.”
“It’s time,” Kip said quickly.
Savannah picked up the watch, checked it. “Not really. They’re fifteen minutes apart still.”
“Is this your first?” Jordan asked.
Savannah looked over Kip’s shoulder, smiled. “Yes. Hi, I’m Savannah.”
“Jordan.” Jordan eased a hip onto the arm of an overstuffed chair. “First times can take a while, but not always. You’re probably safer to head to the hospital sooner. Wait here or wait there.”
“I know.” Tears filled Savannah’s eyes.
“What,” Kip shouted. “What, what hurts?”
“Oh, it’s just Mark. He’s not here and he’s going to miss it.”
“I’ll video everything,” Kip said.
Savannah made a face. “You will not. I’m sure I’m not going to look very attractive at all. I certainly don’t want a video of it.”
Kip grinned weakly. “I’ll just video the baby part, not you, okay?”
“Well, I guess so.” Savannah winced and her breathing picked up. “Okay, maybe we should go.”
Kip jumped up, her cell phone in hand. “I’m calling…should I call a cab?”
“Call an Uber,” Jordan said. “They get here faster than anyone.”
She was right. Fifteen minutes later they were checking Savannah in to the emergency room at the hospital. Forty-five minutes later, she was ensconced in a birthing room on the delivery floor.
“Go get coffee or something, Kip. Stop pacing,” Savannah said.
“I should let Jordan know what’s going on. You’re not going to do anything right away, are you?”
Savannah rubbed her abdomen. “According to the nurses, not for a while yet.” She gritted her teeth and, after a moment, spoke again. “Hopefully not too long, because honestly? This part is not fun.”
“I’ll grab something to eat and send Jordan home. Neither one of us has had much sleep in the last twenty-four hours.”
“T
hat sounds interesting.” Savannah’s eyebrows rose. “I could use the distraction. Tell me.”
“Um…” Kip could feel herself grinning. “You know I never talk about my conquests.”
“You are so full of it. If there’s a conquest to be gotten, I’d say it was you.”
Kip shoved her hands in her pockets and rocked on her heels. “It shows, huh?”
“I might be delirious now and then, but I’m not so far gone I can’t see the way you look at her. She must be special.”
“More than special. Amazing.”
“Wow, I’ve never heard you—” She caught her breath.
Kip jumped to her side.
“Okay, that was definitely not fun,” Savannah said after another minute.
“I’ll stay.”
“No. Really. Go get something to eat. I can tell I’m going to be doing this a while longer.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Go find your girl. She’s gorgeous, by the way,” Savannah said.
“Yeah, I know.” Kip could feel her smile spread. “I’ll be right outside. I can be back in thirty seconds.”
“I know. I can count on you. Everyone can always count on you.”
Kip hurried to the waiting room. Jordan was the only one there, settled into the corner of a nondescript dark brown couch reading her phone. She glanced up as Kip strode in, her quick smile a caress to Kip’s frazzled nerves.
“How’s she doing?”
“It might be at least a couple hours. You should go home and get some sleep.”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’d like to stay.” Jordan leaned over and pulled a cardboard box from a bag and handed it to Kip. “Turkey, apple, and cheddar on wheat. I went for potato salad instead of coleslaw. And a brownie. Eat.”
“Oh, man. You’re a mind reader. I’m famished.” Kip sat down next to Jordan, who opened a box of her own.
“You did burn a lot of calories recently.”
Kip smirked. “True. And I hope to do the same again soon.”
Jordan pretended to be fascinated by her sandwich. If she looked at Kip right now she was very likely going to make some inappropriate public display. Just the sound of Kip’s voice made her blood race. “How are you holding up?”
“Okay. I appreciate you staying.” Kip blew out a breath. The fatigue and anxiety of the last day and a half was catching up to her. “I don’t like feeling helpless when someone I love is in trouble.”
“She’s having a baby, Kip,” Jordan said gently. “I know it’s pretty scary, but it’s also just about the most natural thing in the world. And this is a great place. She’s going to be all right.”
Kip stared at her hands. “I know. I just wish there was something I could do.”
“You’re here with her, that’s what she needs.” Jordan leaned close, stroked her shoulder. “You want to tell me what you’re really worried about?”
Kip jerked. She hadn’t thought she was so transparent, but then Jordan had always seen past her shields. “I was just thinking about something that happened a long time ago.”
“I know about the accident,” Jordan said. “Well, at least, what the newspapers said. You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.”
“I’ve never talked about it,” Kip said as a door opened she’d held shut with all her strength her whole life. “Even my father never asked exactly what happened, and I never told him.”
“Whatever you say will be safe with me.”
“I know.” Kip put the take-out box aside and turned to face Jordan. “We were sailing like we did almost every day in the summer. My mother was an expert sailor. Before we were born, before she married my father, she crewed on a competitive racing team.”
Jordan waited, said nothing while Kip sorted through the memories.
“I was ten, Randy was seven. He was always a brat.” Kip laughed a little unsteadily. “He hated wearing a life vest, and it was a constant battle for him to keep it on most of the time. He was wearing it that day, though. When the storm came, Mom ordered us into the cockpit.” She licked her lips. “She told us to stay there, but Randy wanted to see. I should’ve made him stay, but I didn’t want to be down there either. When he opened the hatch, I thought he was just going to look out, but then he climbed out.”
Kip shuddered, sweat breaking out on her face.
Jordan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her hair. “Take your time.”
Kip clenched a fist. “I shouldn’t have let him do that. He climbed out and I couldn’t stop him. And then…” She closed her eyes. “And then I went after him, but he was sliding across the deck into the water and Mom had to go in after him, and the waves were so high, and I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t see either of them. I was holding on and I was about to fall in too. And then Mom was right there and she pushed Randy up onto the deck right at me, screaming for me to hold on to him. To hold on and not let go.”
Kip’s eyes were wide, filled with old fears. “I didn’t. I didn’t let go.”
“Of course you didn’t. You held on just like your mother wanted you to do.” Jordan framed her face. “Kip. Kip look at me.”
Kip blinked. “Jordan?” Her face flushed. “God, I’m sorry I just dumped all that on you.”
“Hey, no.” Jordan kissed her. “I’m glad you told me. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s my fault. I should’ve kept Randy below deck. She’d still be alive if I had.”
Jordan gripped her shoulders, her heart bleeding. “You were a child in a horrible, terrifying situation. There’s no way to know what would’ve happened. You were not responsible.”
“I think Randy believes I blame him, but I don’t.”
“Kip,” Jordan said carefully, “sometimes terrible accidents happen, and there’s no one to blame.”
“Maybe, maybe.” Kip sighed. “I’m glad you know. I’m glad you don’t blame me.”
“No, never.” Jordan ached to take her pain away. “Are you all right?”
“I’m okay. It helped some, to talk about it.”
“I’m very glad you did, and I’m so glad you trusted me.”
Kip shrugged. “You’re the only one I ever have.”
Jordan’s throat tightened. She wanted to take her home, keep her safe, protect her from the memories and the hurt. Wished it were all that simple. “Go see about Savannah. You’ll feel better if you’re with her.”
Kip nodded. “Thanks. You ought to go—”
Jordan shook her head. “I’ll be right here. I told you I’m not leaving.”
Kip rose. “I’m glad.”
Chapter Twenty-four
Jordan half unconsciously scanned articles on the internet, most of her attention attuned to the sound of footsteps approaching, signaling Kip’s return. Shortly after seven p.m., another family arrived in the waiting area—a nervous-looking young man in a wrinkled white shirt and dress pants paired with mismatched running shoes, a testimony to his probable rush to get to the hospital, accompanied by two older women who Jordan bet were the grandmothers-to-be.
“When are they going to let me go see her,” the young man said, his voice high and anxious. “I’m supposed to be coaching. She has to concentrate on her deep breathing.”
“They have to get her settled, Danny. Jolie knows what she needs to do. She’ll be fine until you get there.”
The stout iron-gray-haired woman who spoke wore a dark blue polo with the logo of a major big box store, khaki pants, and sensible shoes. Her no-nonsense look was softened by her tender tone, and she reminded Jordan of her favorite high school teacher—tough but totally devoted to her students. She’d been one of the first to call Jordan after she’d arrived home when her dad had died. Jordan had forgotten that in her zeal to bury the past along with him.
The second woman, tall and thin and equally gray-haired, although her obviously professionally styled coif contrasted with the other woman’s practical cut, patted his arm solicit
ously. His mother, most likely. “Try to relax, honey. Everything is going along just the way it should. They’ll be out to get you soon.”
“Right, okay,” he said, sounding anything but reassured, and continued his circular pacing.
Jordan smiled at the family drama and, nestling farther into the corner of the sofa, closed her eyes. She wouldn’t sleep, but her eyes ached from having been awake for too many hours with too little sleep and too much worry. Still, she didn’t want to leave. Kip needed the backup, even if all she could offer was company, and she wanted to be the one to provide it. Her rational mind knew the chances of anything going seriously wrong during the delivery were slim, but she worried for Kip, who wasn’t exactly rational. Kip’s panic had very little to do with her cousin’s labor and everything to do with the tragedy she’d suffered, and Jordan wished she could take some of that burden from her. Even knowing that was an impossibility, when Kip hurt, she hurt. If she were anywhere else right now, she’d spend every second worrying about Kip.
She had a feeling very few people in Kip’s life had ever protected her. Coming to know her during all the time they’d spent working side by side, she’d seen how quickly Kip stepped in to help when there was trouble, how readily she shouldered any duty. Everything she’d learned of Kip’s past suggested she was the one to take responsibility for everything, even when it wasn’t hers to accept. Certainly no ten-year-old child could be held responsible for saving the life of another or be accountable for the death of anyone. But Kip had carried that guilt all her life, and as much as Jordan loved her for that strength and sense of honor, knowing Kip was hardwired to take on any burden and blame herself for failures not her own kindled a knot of fear in her belly. She’d watched her father destroyed by that extreme sense of obligation. He had assumed accountability for everything, even the weather, and when the weather and the economy and the false hopes of others had crashed down upon him, he’d broken under the weight of it. She feared Kip was very much like him, and all the things she loved about him were the very things she was still angry at him for.
She rarely let herself acknowledge her anger, torn between grief and betrayal every time she thought of what he’d done. But when she could bring herself to admit it, she accepted she’d been furious from the very moment she’d gotten the phone call from her devastated mother. How could he have done that to them? How could he have not trusted them to help him as a family to get through whatever difficulties lay ahead? But he hadn’t trusted them any more than he’d accepted how much they’d loved and needed him. They should have been his greatest responsibility, and he’d abandoned them. She had avoided giving her heart to anyone all these years because he’d broken it. He had taught her that love was not enough.
