by Amanda Wylde
I do my best to not stare too deeply into those gorgeous blue eyes because I don't want her freaking out. I'm supposed to be being patient. So I play with her hand and glance around the place. "Looks good so far."
"But your Bronx pallet will have to be the judge?" She giggles.
I glance back at her bright eyes and can't help myself. "Yeah, they will," I say before leaning in and kissing her again.
A random looking waiter walks towards us with Remi's soda and my beer. I barely notice him, and continue to take in the place instead, until he sets the glasses down in front of us and turns to Remi. "Remi?"
"Oh my God, Luke!" she says getting out of the booth and giving him a big hug.
Now I take him in from top to bottom as a heat engulfs me from seeing his arms so tight around her waist. I take a sip of my beer and swallow it down hard. "How are you?" she asks a bit too cheery. "I thought you went away to UC Vegas or something."
"Yeah, that didn't work out. I'm going to school here now and working for my uncle."
"This is your uncle's restaurant?" Remi asks finally getting back in the booth.
"Yeah, they're not the original owners but they took over about two years ago.
"Oh no wonder I hadn't heard much about it and suddenly everyone's been talking about it."
"Did you order the Guinea Pie?"
"Yes!" Remi smiles so brightly I almost smile too. Almost.
But the guy raises his hand to high five her and suddenly they're touching again. "You won't be disappointed," he says smiling just as big as Remi. "Personally I think it's what's getting this place so packed."
I'm trying not to be an asshole here but my hand is instantly in Remi's when she slides back in next to me and I squeeze it. Fuck this guy who's looking at her all dreamy eyed and shit. Remi turns to me the moment she feels me squeeze her hand.
"Kris this is Luke, a friend of mine from high school." She turns back to Luke who turns to me and nods. "Luke this is Kris."
When she doesn't add an explanation of who I am or title, I bite my tongue to keep the words her boyfriend, from coming out. But it's a close one. I do what he did and nod but can't even manage a smile. She may still be processing what's happening between us and all that but the fact remains we've been making out all week and each time it's gotten heavier. I've already told her I don't do the friends with benefits thing. Either it's a hit it and quit it type of deal which I have no intentions of quitting Remi or an all in deal. Something I've never done but I'm more than ready to now. Which is why I won't be pushing for anything more than what we've done so far because I know once we go there, my feelings for her will be over the top.
Luke and Remi do a quick catch up before he says he has to get back to work and that it was nice seeing her again. Thankfully there's no more hugging. I roll my neck trying to shake the tension just seeing another guy's hands on her invokes. This is alarming to say the least and I can only hope that once she's done processing we'll have a very specific understanding of the kinds of things I'm okay with and the things I will not put up with. Not that anything wrong just happened. But it's an eye opener for sure of what kind of feeling's this evokes and what I need to prepare myself for.
Remi tells me a little more about how she knows the guy. Apparently he's an ex of a good friend of hers. "I don't think she ever appreciated what a nice guy he is," she says and I stare at her hoping she's not going to tell me just how nice a guy she thinks he is. "She ended up dumping him after graduation because they were both going to different schools but she texts me every now and again and says she misses him so much. From what I've heard he's already moved on and in another relationship."
Good to know.
Fortunately the subject changes when she asks about my aunt. "How's she doing?"
"Better," I say. "Looks like it was just a virus."
I tell her more about it. How of course my aunt wasn't going to tell me she wasn't just throwing up all day. It was coming out both ways. "I guess her body couldn't keep up with the fluid loss so she passed out from dehydration."
The food comes and we start to dig in. I tease her about the way she eats her pizza. Yeah, it's thicker than most but you don't slice and eat pizza with a fork no matter what. She laughs and it only makes me have to kiss her again then I go back to eating. I have to admit the pie is damn good. "It's up there with some of the best I've had back home but I don't know about better."
"Not better than the best but better than most?" Her eyes shine brightly as she takes a bite of her slice of pie.
"Better than most, I'll give you that."
We eat quietly for a little bit and as tempted as I am to ask about her processing—something we haven't talked about since the drive home from caving last week—I stick to a neutral subject.
"I talked to my cousin Travis today."
Remi spits out her soda and proceeds to go into a coughing fit. I grab napkins so she can cough into and wipe the area she spit up on then pat her back even as she continues to cough. After several minutes she's calmed a little but not enough to speak. She takes a sip of her water instead of her soda and breathes in deeply wiping her eyes.
"You okay?"
She nods but still says nothing then takes another small sip of her water. "Went down the wrong pipe."
"Yeah, no kidding," I say smiling and soothing her back with my hand. "Better?"
She nods and I bunch all the napkins we used toward the end of the table so the waitress can take them when she comes by. I almost forget what I'd started to say just before Remi's coughing fit. Then it comes to me. "Did you know him?" I ask taking another bite of my pie.
Remi nods glancing around as she drinks more water. Then I remember. "That's right. You used to watch them. My aunt and Trace mentioned that."
Watching her slice her pie again with a knife I smirk. But she takes another mouthful so I go on looking around the place that's getting crowded fast. "Hard to believe that kid you once watched is living on his own now. Well, with his girl but still he's on his own." When I turn back to Remi she's staring at me strangely. "What?"
"He is?"
"Yeah, isn't that crazy? Kid that young?" I take a bite of my pizza then a swig of my beer and go on. "He said he's only been living with her a few months but he's been with her longer so he may've been on his own for a while. Good for him right? I remember my mom said he was getting real out of control for a minute there. Glad he turned it around."
A band starts playing in a corner stage I hadn't even noticed. Remi excuses herself to the ladies room and I sit there listening to the music. All in all the place is pretty cool and I'm sure we'll be coming back again. I get so into the band I don't even realize Remi's been gone a while. I glance down at my phone screen, mad that I didn't even notice what time she left. I'll give her another five, ten minutes before texting to see if she's okay. I don't want to embarrass her if she just needs to be in there longer for other reasons. But I also know the ladies room often times get backed up with long lines.
Almost ten minutes later she's back and I notice it immediately—her teary pink eyes. "What's wrong?" I ask as she climbs into the booth next to me again.
Remi shakes her head but I can't see her eyes because she starts digging in her purse. "Nothing," she says sounding somewhat normal.
She glances up at me and I get a closer look at the red rimmed eyes but she quickly glances back down into her purse again. "I don't know why that happens sometimes. When I have a cough attack, they sometimes come in pairs and I had another slightly milder one in the ladies room but I'm okay. Just made a mess of my makeup and stuff."
I smile relieved leaning into her and kiss her temple. "You don't need makeup."
We continue to pick at our food listening to the music and occasionally commenting about the songs. Our night ends abruptly when she gets a text from her mom. This time she may have to make a trip to the ER with her dad. Remi needs to go home and stay with her grandpa who can't be left alone. It sucks beca
use I don't get nearly enough of her tonight. At least not like I've gotten almost every night since we went caving. But I do get a nice long sweet kiss goodnight when I drop her off. Despite her mom being a window monitor Remi is the one that initiates the kiss and lets it go a lot deeper than we usually do when I drop her off at home. So much deeper I drive away with a massive hard on.
It's been over three weeks now, and while physically things are moving slower than I would've expected, I at least have more of a solid idea of where we stand. I knew there had to be a reason why Remi was holding back and she finally admitted why. She's been hurt in the past.
Badly.
It's taken her a long time to get over it and she's terrified of being hurt again, so while she agreed to exclusivity she wants to take things real slow. So slow she said she'd understand if I didn't want to wait. But I do. God I've never wanted anything more in my life.
I hate that it's another guy that has her holding back but I'm glad it was over two years ago and someone who's no longer in her life at all. She hasn't even talked to the guy in that long. That makes me feel better, that and the fact that even though we're not having sex yet things do get pretty hot.
Remi just found out she passed her boards and we're going out to celebrate tonight. We're headed to that same pizza joint we liked so much. We haven't been there since, and we've both been craving it. I'm almost done getting ready in the bedroom I share with Trace and Trevor now as the front room gets loud with voices and I listen curiously.
When I walk out into the front room I see the man I remember as a kid. Except for the telling De Luca eyes, he's almost unrecognizable. "Travis?"
He turns to me and smiles big. "Holy shit," he says as I go in for a hug and we slap each other's backs.
"Holy shit is right." I say pulling back to get a better look at him. "Look at you, man. You're as big as me now."
My mom and aunt are already in the kitchen fussing about if they would've known he was coming they would've prepared something. Aside from the facial features that are all grown up now from the way I remember him last, his appearance is nothing like I would've expected. The thuggish kid I remember is all cleaned up now. Well, except for the full sleeve tattoos on both arms but otherwise he's dressed nice enough and looks all business now.
"Did you just get here?"
"Yeah, just landed and came straight here," he explains. "I'm meeting my girl in New Orleans day after tomorrow. So I figured I'd stop here first and check on her." He motions toward the kitchen half rolling his eyes. "If I'd let her know I was coming she would've insisted I didn't have to."
"New Orleans, huh? Business or pleasure?"
"A little of both actually," he says with a smile. "Where you headed?"
"To pick up my girl. We're celebrating her passing her boards. She'll be an RN now. Oh hey," I say looking toward the kitchen and lowering my voice. "You should come. We discovered this place a few weeks ago. The pizza's the shit and that's coming from a Bronx guy. They serve pitchers of beers so we can throw back a few. No one's gonna card you. You look as old as I do and they didn't card me last time I was there. I'm sure Remi won't mind."
"Remi?" he asks peering at me. "From around the corner?"
"Yeah—" I laugh, "the one that used to watch you."
"Is that right?" he asks glancing back toward the kitchen. "How long?"
"About a month now," I say looking in the mirror one last time. "She's something else. So what do you say?" I ask turning around to face him again. "You wanna come?"
"Nah," he shakes his head. "Not tonight. I just got here and I haven't seen my mom or the boys in a while. I need to hang with them for little."
"Well, we'll be there a while since we're celebrating. They have a pretty good band on Fridays. At least they did the Friday we went. What's your number? I'll text you the name of the place in case you wanna swing by after hanging with your mom."
He gives me his number and I text him the name of the place and then I'm out of there. Remi is in especially good mood when I pick her up. As confident as she'd been that she'd pass her boards she says she's still so enormously relieved that it's over.
She talks nonstop all the way to the restaurant about all the other goals she has now. Goals she was afraid to focus on until she had this under her belt. Her eyes have never been as bright as they are tonight and I can't stop kissing her and congratulating her every chance I get.
Even as we get out in the parking lot she tells me more about her plans to become a neonatal nurse. She's so excited I refuse to interrupt her other than to kiss her. She just turned twenty-one this past week so this will also serve as secondary celebration. For as slow as she wants to take this I love that she didn't seem at all taken aback by the necklace with the heart pendant I got her for her birthday. I'm even happier about seeing her wear it now.
Between her excitable mood and the beers we have Remi is also far more touchy feely tonight than she normally is and I’m loving it. Almost from the moment we sit down at our booth I'm sporting a massive hard on. I actually slow down on the drinking because I'd rather slow down on that than making out with Remi right there in that darkened booth. If I drink too fast I'll have to adjust my throbbing cock to go to the bathroom.
I'm not the only one either. I thought I noticed a change in her a few weeks back. It made me nervous. In hindsight I know now it was what she attributed her strange mood to and what felt like maybe she'd started pulling back. She said her impending test was making her nervous—stressing her out. I know now by her behavior tonight just how stressed she must've been because this is a whole new Remi. I'm trying not to get too excited about how this night might end.
Chapter 8
Travis
There are no words for what I'm feeling right now. No words for what I felt when Kris said her name. No words for what I felt the entire time I attempted and failed miserably to concentrate on my conversations tonight with my mom and aunt and my brothers.
I should've gone with my gut and just driven straight to my hotel room. Straight there and called Elsa like the good Travis—the new and improved Travis would do. Do the right thing like I've been doing for over two years now. Just like when I read Remi's letter a few months ago. As tempted as I've been to ask my mother for her number, I haven't. I'd considered it a blessing that I lost my phone the night of the brawl and I'd never memorized her number. Had I gotten the texts she mentioned sending back then, I would've run away from my dad's and hitched it all the way back.
Instead for the past two years I've reminded myself over and over that she'd been at that party knowing full well Chaz would be there—possibly planned on meeting him there. I forced myself to hate her all these years because the only other option was to feel what I never stopped feeling for her. The day I read her letter just months ago I agonized about doing the right thing. Elsa was in the process of moving in with me. I'd come so far from the person I once was. I've been telling myself I'd better myself because it was the right thing to do. I needed to set a better example for my brothers. But deep inside, in spite of the distance, in spite of the life I was building in Philly and even in spite of Elsa, I've always known why I was really doing it. It was all for Remi. I wanted her parents to eventually accept me in her life. I wanted to finally be good enough for her.
Even throughout my courtship with Elsa and after deciding to have her move in with me that flame that still burns for Remi has never been snuffed. After getting her letter it was all I could do to not ump on a plane and come claim her. I'm still not sure what it is but something in my heart has always told me she was still waiting for me. That that flame that burned for me in her heart is still there too. I'd always seen it. Long before I ever kissed her, I knew something inside her burned for me as much as I did for her. The letter confirmed it. Why would she still be thinking of me? Why would she need to remind me after all this time she considered me her first love? And why in the hell would she sign it Cherry? Was it because she was trying to s
end me a message? Is she still my innocent Cherry waiting for me? Not that it would matter if she wasn't. I certainly haven't put that part of my life on hold. But it just makes me wonder if she was sending me a message.
And did she mean first love or love of her life? Because God knows I've since accepted she's the love of my life; always will be. The questions have tormented me for months. Only I owe it to my dad who believed in me even after all the times I'd fucked up that I had it in me to do the right thing. My life is seemingly perfect now and only getting better if I stick with what I have going. I'm successful. I'm helping run a fast growing business and I'm in a serious relationship with a girl who has the potential to be the one—a good girl, like Remi. Hell, she's even a redhead and I've called her Remi a few times while fucking her. It hasn't gone over well but she got over it. Tonight could be disastrous though. After the second time the name slipped out as I buried myself into Elsa, I had to come clean about Remi. The girl I walked away from and thought I'd never look back for. She's been our only source of contention our entire relationship. If Elsa knew where I was right now, where I might be in a few minutes I could lose her.
So why am here? Why am I sitting here contemplating going into this restaurant and seeing Remi again—my cousin's girl?
"His girl!" I slam my fist against the steering wheel. "She could've been with anybody else? Any other guy in the fucking world and she chose my cousin!"
My whole life I've never resented the fact that life in general has always been better for Kris and his sister than it ever has for me and my brothers. That he had the daily father figure we never did that ran a tight ship and therefore I had to hear all the time about perfect Kris. My mom compared me to him all the fucking time. "He made honor roll again. He plays the piano. He's never been in any trouble. He's a military man now." Even a few weeks ago she was at it again about how proud she was of him on his way to become a cop and likely a detective eventually like his step-dad.
My mom's nagging was the only thing that ever bothered me about it. I've had nothing but love for the guy and I'm glad for him, now this? On top of everything else coming so easy for him while I've had to work my tail off, he gets Remi too? Fuck that!
