Dennis got up, and if I hadn’t been so relaxed, I would have protested. I smiled as I felt the oil hit the backs of my legs and drip down the insides of my thighs. Each leg was given the same treatment that my back and shoulders had gotten. I felt as if I were floating by the time he had finished.
“Flip over.” I could hear the want and desire in his voice and didn’t hesitate to do as he asked.
Lying there watching as he held the oil above me was the most erotic thing I’d ever been a part of. The anticipation of seeing the drip come out of the bottle and the waiting for it to hit my skin were intense. I immediately brought my hands up to massage the oil in myself, but Dennis grabbed my wrists. “As sexy as that would be, this is my job tonight.”
I placed my hands under the pillow and held on. I needed to be touched, but Dennis just watched me. My body started filling with an insatiable need the longer he stared me down and the longer the oil went untouched. I closed my eyes and started to rub my thighs together. I gasped as I felt the oil hit my thighs again.
Dennis got on the other side of me and finally started to touch me. He started with my thighs, but wouldn’t go up any further to give me any relief. Any time I tried to spread my thighs further apart, he just held them down. Finally working his way back up to the drops of oil on my chest, I sighed with gratitude as he caressed my breasts. The sigh quickly turned into moans as he squeezed and massaged the oil into my breasts, occasionally pinching my nipples. That just made me want him more.
I pulled my hands out from under the pillow to run my fingers over his muscles. I loved feeling his muscles move as he touched me. I felt another one of his muscles move as he pressed it against my hip. I reached down and tugged on his boxers. “Take these off.”
He smiled, but took them off. “This is supposed to be about you.”
I wrapped my hand around him and pulled him to me. “I want this to be about us.”
Dennis moved between my thighs. “I like the sound of that.”
He slowly entered me, taking his time, and allowing me to feel every magnificent inch as he went. There was something different about it that time. I’d enjoyed all the times before, but this time it was as if he were filling me with peace and love, not just desire and pleasure. It was a slow and steady dance he led me on that night and one I would never forget. Whether I was ready to admit it or not, that was the night I fell head over heels in love with Dennis Brooks.
Chapter 15
The next two weeks flew by and were a little less emotional, except for Peggy’s last official day. That was a sad and exciting day for me. I was on my own. All decisions would be made by me. It was an intimidating responsibility, but one I welcomed and was proud to have. Peggy said she would still be coming by to volunteer as Gloria did since she knew she would miss it, but that would only be a few times a month.
I had completely moved into her office and out of my makeshift office in the back. We decided to keep that office space set up for Peggy and Gloria to use on the days they came in to help. Even though it may have seemed a little weird to have Peggy back occasionally as a volunteer, I was so grateful for her continued support.
I had even managed to ignore Carl and his advances without being as affected as I usually was by him. I just had to remember the feeling I had when Dennis was close to me. That was the feeling I wanted. While what Carl made me feel may have been familiar, it was far from safe, and I much rather preferred safe. I smiled at that thought. Feeling safe was something I never thought the adventurous side of me would have allowed, let alone like.
Pulling up to Dennis’s house, I saw that his sister Deb’s car was parked on the street. I thought about texting to see what type of mood she was in, but I didn’t want her to pick up his phone and see it. He already knew I was coming over, so I couldn’t keep driving and act as if I didn’t see that she was there. I reluctantly pulled in the driveway behind Dennis’s car and tried to get my eye rolling and sighing out of my system before I reached the door. I hoped she wasn’t staying for dinner.
I opened the door, and it sounded as if they were watching television. It wasn’t good if she had gotten comfortable. I sighed what I promised would be my last sigh as I headed for the living room and stopped in the doorway when I heard Craig’s voice. I inched in further to see what was going on, and there he was on the television. “What the fuck is that?”
“Drew.” Dennis fumbled for the remote and paused Craig while he was in midsentence. He sheepishly smiled as he walked over to me. “Drew, I didn’t hear you come in.” He tried to kiss my cheek, but I backed away.
“I guess not. I’ll ask again.” I pointed to the television. “What the fuck is that?”
Deb’s smirk had me wanting to cross the room and smack it off her face. “I was just showing my brother the full story that the station didn’t run four years ago.”
I turned to Dennis not wanting to address Deb in any way. “Why are you watching that?”
“I promised I would watch it. It isn’t going to change anything.”
“How can you say it doesn’t change anything?” Deb was on her feet and smirk free. “I got this disc for you to open your eyes. It’s the full story of what happened.”
“I’m sorry. Full story?” I wrenched my arm from Dennis and stormed over to Deb. “Ask me if you want to know something. I know the full story. I was there!”
Deb didn’t back down and yelled an inch from my face. “But he wasn’t! I want him to know what kind of woman you are before he gets too involved.”
“I thought you finally accepted me when you saw that I was taking care of him even after we had broken up.” I couldn’t believe I was back at square one with her. No, worse than square one, it seemed.
“I asked you that day what you were doing here, and you said cleaning. I said I was surprised you were here, and you said that you heard he was sick. I gave you two opportunities to say you loved him, but you didn’t.” She crossed her arms. “You just gave me excuses for being there.”
I shook my head dumbfounded. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“No, I’m not. All I needed to know was that you saw the perfect opportunity to come crawling back into his life and took it. I can’t believe chicken noodle soup is all he needed to forgive your affair.”
I turned to Dennis. I couldn’t believe that he told people I cheated on him. We weren’t an official couple when I had my one time with Carl. We were just dating and were free to date other people. I kept waiting for him to defend me, but he didn’t. I turned back to Deb when Dennis avoided my gaze.
“You can’t think she’ll be faithful after you get married. She cheated on him and turned him into the broken man you see on that screen.” Deb was pointing to Craig.
“Excuse me! I never cheated on him.”
Dennis spoke up behind me. “Who’s Tony?”
I briefly closed my eyes before turning to Dennis. “I will tell you about Tony, but not in front of your sister.”
Dennis crossed his arms and could barely look at me. “What about Brian?”
“I never slept with Brian. Craig thought Brian was hitting on me, so he threw him out of the apartment during one of our very few parties, but I never slept with him. We were talking about music and the different bands we had seen live. It was completely innocent.”
“Sure it was.” Deb scoffed behind me.
“Shut up, Deb!” Dennis yelled, and we jumped as it scared both of us. “I think you should leave and let us talk.”
“So she can fill your head with lies?”
“If anything that he said was true, why didn’t the station run it?” Dennis was screaming at the television. “You showed me the interview that ran and then what the station wouldn’t air. Why wouldn’t they air that?” Dennis calmed down and walked over to his sister. “I think you were young and naïve and had never been exposed to this, this . . .” He waved to the television. “I don’t even know what to call him. I think he was very charming when h
e wanted to be and very good at turning things around to benefit him, but I don’t believe half of what he says.”
“How can you not believe it?” Deb looked as if she was going to start crying. “She’s going to destroy you before you know what’s happening.”
We had all agreed that Sally was sacred and not waved around for people’s curious minds. I hoped Mark would forgive me for what I was about to do. “Did you know his last girlfriend before me killed herself?”
Deb narrowed her eyes at me. “What does that have to do with this? If anything, it makes him even more of a victim that you would have used his vulnerable state to get what you want.”
“She killed herself because he destroyed her. Craig is a master manipulator, and you are just one girl in a very long line that has fallen for his charms.”
“I don’t believe you. Are you that desperate to make up this bullshit?” Deb turned back to Dennis, but I wouldn’t let her talk.
“Sally was a beautiful girl just out of high school. She had everything going for her until he convinced her that she had nothing without him.” I walked over to the sofa and sat down leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. “She was supposed to go to college in the fall and had thought he would be just a fun summer fling. A week before school was supposed to start, her brother, Mark, found her body.”
I didn’t look to see if they were still standing behind the sofa listening when I continued. “Craig was good at making you think you didn’t exist without him. He was good at making you feel that no one else good would ever want you. You knew Craig was bad for you, but you thought he was as good as you could ever get.” I shook my head and laughed a humorless laugh. “It’s just as Joseph says. You get addicted to him. Sure the lows are really low, but the highs were unbelievably fucking high.”
Deb finally came around the corner of the sofa and sat on the chair closest to me. “How do you think any of this is going to convince me you won’t go back to him once he’s out?”
I heard Dennis’s sharp inhale. Apparently he was wondering the same thing. “I had something more powerful than him to live for. I had something more powerful than me to help me break free of him.” I closed my eyes as the tears threatened to fall. “I had my baby.”
Finally Deb didn’t know what to say, but Dennis picked it up for her. “Why didn’t you leave before he hurt you if you were free of him?”
“I didn’t have any place to go. He would have tracked me down. I was already having a difficult pregnancy because of the stress of living with him. I thought if I stayed and made him as happy as I could I would be able to get as close to full term as possible and then seek help. There was no way I could have survived the stress of running from him while pregnant. But that’s a decision I regret to this day. Maybe I’d still have my little girl.” I didn’t care that the tears were falling now. The last thing I wanted was to give Deb the satisfaction that she got to me, but I couldn’t help it. She did get to me.
~*~
“Please just come home with me. We can figure this out.” Terri was trying to fill my duffle bag with as much stuff as possible. “You know the doctor said you can’t have any more stress. Please, Drew.”
“Terri, I can’t go with you. You know he’ll track me there, and you don’t need the stress, either.” I took the bag from her and started to put my stuff away.
“Drew, we can handle it. You can’t.” Terri was pleading, and as much as I wanted to go, I thought it was best if I stayed until the baby was born. The front door slammed and Terri jumped.
“Fuck.” I put the clothes away faster, but not in time for him to not see it.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Craig pushed Terri out of the way and grabbed my arm.
“I had some bleeding and we went to the doctor. I thought they were going to keep me for observation. I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, so I took extra clothes with me.” I relaxed a little when he seemed to buy it, but tensed when he turned to Terri.
“So, are you staying for dinner? I don’t get to see you much anymore since you had that kid of yours.” Craig seemed to be playful, but there was still an edge in his voice.
“Sorry, rain check. That kid of mine needs to be fed. I was just dropping Drew back home after the appointment.”
“Okay, some other time then.” Craig walked out and called over his shoulder. “I’m getting hungry, though.”
Terri rolled her eyes before turning to plead her case again. “Just think about it. You can stay with us as long as you want.”
“I’ll think about it.” I knew my mind was already made up, but I needed to get Terri out before he heard her talking about it. I walked her to the door. “Thanks again for taking me and for being my go-to pregnancy expert.” I opened the door and turned to hug her.
Terri hugged me tightly, and I thought she was going to try to pull me out the door with her. “I love you, Drew.”
“I love you, too. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I shut the door and took a deep breath. I didn’t know what I was going to turn around to. “What would you like for dinner?”
“You.” Craig had that smirk that told me he expected me to drop everything and jump into bed or wherever else he wanted me.
“I thought you were hungry.” I looked in the refrigerator to see what I could make for dinner.
“I’m hungry for something else.” He came up behind me and cupped my breasts. He never touched my belly if he could help it.
“I can’t do that for a while.” I held my breath as I awaited his reaction.
“How long is awhile?”
I tried to get out of his grip because I knew he wasn’t going to like what I had to say, but he wouldn’t let me go. “At least two weeks.” He squeezed harder on my breasts. “Craig that hurts.”
“What do you mean at least?” Craig eased up a little, but it was still uncomfortable.
“I go back in two weeks, and the doctor will tell me if I can resume sexual activity.”
“How long are we possibly talking here?”
“Until I give birth.” I sucked in all the air I could as he pinched me harder than he’d ever pinched me before. This was definite punishment. “Craig, let go!”
Craig started talking through gritted teeth. “I told you this fucking kid would ruin everything. After you have this fucking kid, sex won’t be the same, and now you’re telling me I’m never going to have you again as tight as you are now.” He pinched harder one last time and shoved me into the open refrigerator.
I caught myself and shut the door. Resisting the urge to cross my arms to protect my breasts from further abuse, I turned to face him. “I can still satisfy you in other ways, Craig. I’m the one who should be pissed about no sex for a few months.”
“Don’t kid yourself, sweetheart. Your best talent is between your legs.” Craig grabbed his coat.
In the back of my mind, I knew he was just trying to hurt me by saying the other things I did for him weren’t good enough, but it still stung. “You’ve never complained before.”
“Because I always had your snatch to look forward to.” He kissed my cheek and walked to the door. “I’ll get something,” he turned and looked at me to insinuate he’d find someone else, “at the bar. You’re on your own to satisfy your hunger.”
~*~
“This is what you want your life to be like?” Deb was still trying to convince Dennis that I was no good for him. “What if you have children? Do you want them to see their mother like this?”
“She only goes through this with extreme stress. I think you should go.” Dennis started rubbing my back. “And take your disc with you.”
“And you don’t think that kids will cause stress? You’re fooling yourself, little brother, if you think she’s good enough for you.”
I stood up abruptly and startled both of them. “I’ve got to go.” Dennis tried to stop me. “Stay and watch your precious truth.” I pointed to the television with a shaky hand.
“Maybe we should call Joseph.” Dennis tried to say it quietly so Deb wouldn’t hear him, but I wasn’t in the mood to hide things from anyone.
“Joseph is out of town this week.” I put my hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. Looking at Dennis, I spoke to Deb. “Joseph is my shrink. He’s trying to help me realize I’m a good person and that I deserve your perfect brother here.”
“I’m not perfect.” Dennis clutched my hand.
I gave him a small smile and looked at Deb. “You see I believe what you believe.” She didn’t expect that. “I believe that I’m not good enough for Dennis. I don’t deserve to feel as safe and warm,” I looked back at Dennis, “as you make me feel. And your children deserve a better mother.”
Dennis tried to grab me, but I evaded his embrace. “Please stay. Don’t listen to Deb. She’s the one who’s leaving.”
Deb was adamant. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I took the opportunity when Dennis turned to yell at his sister to grab my stuff and leave. I had already backed out of the driveway before he started running out the door after me. Deb was right—I would never be a good mother. If it were just Dennis and me, then maybe it would’ve worked out. I knew he wanted children, and while I did, too, I knew I should just be content with the time I spent teaching at the center. At least others were always around to take care of the children if anything happened.
I pulled into the driveway, barely remembering how I got home. I should have been crying, but I wasn’t. I wished Joseph weren’t out of town. I put the key in and opened the door. Glad to finally kick my shoes off, I exhaled as I was freed from one source of my pain. I walked into the living room, and Terri was lying on top of Mark, but they were both looking up at me. “Don’t mind me, guys. I’m grabbing a drink and heading upstairs.”
They each shared a look before Terri took off after me. “Drew?” She grabbed my elbow when I started to head upstairs. “Let’s talk for a few minutes.”
Striving for Normal (Striving Series) Page 18
