“Talk to me, Isaac,” he demanded, then he did the move again.
I was panting when I blurted, “I’m not… I’m not a woman.”
“I’m well aware of that,” Maddox said, his voice completely serious. He straightened so our chests were touching. His lips gently brushed mine.
“No, I mean…”
What did I mean?
I shook my head because it was all just so pathetic, and I was mad at myself for ruining the moment. But Maddox didn’t seem particularly fazed because he began nibbling along the edge of my jaw.
“You don’t want to be a woman,” Maddox murmured. “And you don’t want me to pretend you are one.”
Shame curled through me. “There’s nothing wrong with people who want that,” I whispered.
“No, there isn’t. Even if you were transgender, Isaac, we’d still be having some kind of conversation about how we could be together.”
“We would?” I asked in surprise.
He sighed and looked me straight in the eyes. “I don’t want to make love to just your body, Isaac. I want to make love to you.” His fingers stroked over my hair as his eyes seemed to search my face. “Tell me why you wear them,” he said as he motioned with his eyes to the underwear.
I shook my head because I couldn’t tell him that.
“Is it because they make you feel confident?”
I swallowed hard and nodded. “And beautiful,” I admitted.
“You are beautiful in them, Isaac. What else?”
“Soft,” I whispered. “I feel soft when I wear them.”
“And you think that’s wrong somehow?”
God, how had we ended up on this topic? I was sitting practically naked on the lap of the most gorgeous man I’d ever known and instead of him fucking me ten ways to Sunday, he was trying to dissect the jumble that was my brain.
“Why is it wrong?” Maddox pressed.
“Because I can’t be soft,” I admitted. “I… I have to be strong.”
“So being soft means being weak?”
“No,” I said softly.
Maddox was quiet for a moment and then said, “Being soft means being vulnerable.”
I didn’t answer him, but I didn’t have to.
He knew he’d gotten it right.
Maddox’s fingers began running up and down my side. The touch had my libido returning.
“Let’s make a deal, okay?”
I nodded because what else could I do? Despite how embarrassed I was, I wanted him more than ever. I wanted to be with him more than ever.
In any way I could.
“When it’s just you and me, you can be all the things you can’t be when you’re taking care of Newt or looking over your shoulder for whatever it is you’re running from or when you’re fighting battles you’re not ready to let me fight with you. Sexy underwear or granny panties, doesn’t matter.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the last part of his comment. “I’d turn you on in granny panties?” I asked.
Maddox smiled and kissed me. His mouth hovered against mine as he whispered, “Baby, you turn me on just by breathing.” He kissed me again and kept kissing me until I was once again pliant in his hold. Not once during our talk had he released my hands and I found myself completely okay with that. I’d never liked when tricks got off on controlling me, especially using any kind of restraints, but this was so very different.
First off, it was Maddox who was doing it.
Second, I was the one getting off on it. Probably more than he was. Like the underwear, I felt free and open and powerful, even though I had no control. And that warmth was there in spades. Whenever I put the underwear on just for a few minutes, or even thought about it, I got a taste of that warmth that came with finally being allowed to be the real me, the complete me, even if it was just for such a short amount of time.
Unfortunately, that feeling never lasted.
With Maddox, I just knew that every time we came together like this, that warmth would be there.
It was like I could finally breathe.
I sighed as Maddox’s mouth moved down my neck and over my chest. His sinful tongue toyed with my nipples as his hand once again began exploring the fabric of my underwear. He didn’t touch my cock, but I got the idea the move was deliberate.
As he slid his free hand to my ass, Maddox’s teeth closed gently over a muscle in my neck. He soothed the spot with a tongue, then kept repeating the move as his fingers trailed along the edge of the panties. While one finger rode along the material, the other was touching my skin and the contrast was making me crazy. Maddox’s fingers disappeared between my crease and caressed me there for a moment before sliding down my ass and in between my legs. I automatically lifted off him enough so he could move his hand closer to my balls.
Which he didn’t.
“Maddox,” I said breathlessly as I dropped my head to his shoulder. “Please.”
“Please what, baby? Touch you?”
I nodded against him. His mouth was next to my ear as he said, “Here?” and then he was caressing one of the globes of my ass. I managed something that was between a nod and a shake.
“Here?” he asked again, this time touching my other cheek.
I didn’t respond this time, mostly because I was too breathless to do anything but wait to see where he would touch me next.
I opened my mouth against his shoulder and moaned when his finger disappeared into my crack and began rubbing my opening through the panties. I began grinding my dick against his and then I searched out the corded muscles of his neck as he toyed with me.
“So good, Maddox. So good,” I breathed.
Without the use of my hands, I couldn’t grab him the way I wanted. He turned his head and kissed me even as he continued to rub my entrance. When his finger pushed past the silk and touched my hole I jumped and moaned into his mouth. “Oh, God,” I cried when he began rubbing me harder and harder. I kept trying to push back on him, but every time I did, he moved his finger away.
I was completely at his mercy.
And I loved it.
I tugged my hands and said, “Maddox, please, I have to touch you.” The man was still fully dressed and I wanted to be skin on skin. To my surprise, Maddox released my hands. I instantly went for his shirt. As I dragged it off him, my eyes caught on the dog tags he was wearing and I made a mental note to explore them later. Maddox lifted his arms only long enough to get the shirt free, then his palms were on me again, smoothing over my body as if he was trying to memorize every line, every curve. His mouth was there too.
Kissing.
Teasing.
Tasting.
I grabbed Maddox by the ears to force his head up so I could kiss him.
Really kiss him.
He groaned as I fed on his mouth, but when his hand moved beneath the waistband of my underwear and slid over my ass, I let out a string of curses that would have made Newt go wide-eyed for sure.
And just like that, everything was moving too slow. I tore at Maddox’s belt and practically ripped it out of the loops and flung it aside. He continued to rub my ass with both hands, the underwear pushed down to the backs of my upper thighs, but still covering my cock in the front. I was harder than I’d ever been and I could only imagine the wet spot I’d see on the panties if I looked down.
But I wasn’t interested in my own cock.
I clung to Maddox’s mouth as I frantically tried to get his jeans open. Maddox pulled his mouth from mine and nuzzled my ear. “Breathe, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
His lips moved so tenderly against my skin that it helped calm me and my fingers began to work in my favor as I opened his pants. I couldn’t see what I was doing because I’d tipped my head back so Maddox could lick the column of my throat. But I could absolutely feel what I was doing. Maddox’s underwear definitely wasn’t loose enough to be boxers, but that didn’t stop me from reaching my hand into them and fishing out his cock. I swallowed hard when I felt his
girth. It was both intimidating and enthralling. For all the men I’d been with, there’d been few I’d actually found pleasure with. Even Trey, who I’d started to think of in my head as my boyfriend, hadn’t been a satisfying lover.
Probably because he’d never been willing to cut out the games and the kink long enough to consider my needs.
I forced thoughts of Trey out of my head. I knew in my heart Maddox would never treat me like Trey had. Trey had been good with saying the right things, but his actions had never matched his words.
Maddox was the whole package. He meant what he said and he said what he meant. And he backed it up with his body. Even now as I stroked him, he was focused on my pleasure. He’d stopped rubbing my hole, but he was palming my ass as he kissed me.
“Wanna taste you,” I breathed against his lips.
Maddox nodded but said, “Show me how to touch you first.”
I was about to tell him he was touching me just fine when he moved one of his hands to my front and pulled my underwear down, freeing my pained cock in the process. His hand was hot and rough as he encircled my shaft. I put my hand down to cover his and said, “Tighter.”
He tightened his grip.
“Do to me what you do to yourself,” I murmured. “I guarantee I’ll like it.”
Maddox’s intense eyes held mine as he firmly began to stroke me–so he could read me.
So he could know he was bringing me pleasure.
Oh God, I could fall for this man so easily.
I was scared I was already halfway there.
I forced myself not to focus on any of that and instead began pumping Maddox’s dick to match the pace he’d set on mine. He was a quick study because it didn’t take him long to figure out the things I liked that drove me higher. Like that I loved it when he flicked his thumb over the ridge just below the head of my dick. I was learning too. Maddox was extremely sensitive at the base of his shaft and he moaned every time I twisted my wrist just a little on the upstroke. Within minutes, we’d moved so our bodies were flush and our hands were brushing each other’s as we pleasured one another.
“Fuck, need you,” Maddox bit out, then he kissed me hard and deep. I let out a little squeak when he suddenly grabbed my ass and held me to him as he climbed to his feet. I wrapped my legs around him and they were still that way when he lowered me to the sleeping bag he’d laid out by the fire.
“Is this okay?” he asked when he was lying full on top of me. I didn’t know if he was asking about the position or the sleeping bag or what, but my answer was the same either way.
“It’s perfect.”
Somehow between us, we managed to get Maddox’s pants and underwear off. I’d been forced to unwrap my legs for that to happen, but I was kind of glad I had because once my hands found his ass, I never wanted to move them. He was so much bigger than me but there wasn’t an extra ounce of flesh on him. Even his ass was incredibly tight. The difference in our height meant our cocks weren’t quite rubbing against one another as he ground his body against mine, but I was definitely okay with that because I got to feel the perfection of his muscled abs sliding over my weeping dick. My underwear was still wrapped around my lower body, but Maddox quickly took care of that with a sweep of his hand.
Finally, finally, we were skin to skin. The cool metal of his dog tags felt good sliding against my body as he kissed me all over my face, neck, and chest.
“Tell me how to get you ready,” Maddox said.
I shook my head. “Nuh-uh, you promised me a taste first, remember?”
To my surprise, Maddox grinned.
And it was so damn adorable.
“So I did,” he said. For someone who was about to have a man’s mouth on his junk, the guy didn’t seem the least bit worried. But I wasn’t about to point that out to him.
“How do you want me?” he asked.
I had so many answers to that question, but there was one thing I really wanted when his cock was stuffed down my throat.
To see his eyes.
Not so I could know if he was disgusted, because I knew he wouldn’t be. No, I wanted to see his pleasure and know I was the reason for it. So with that in mind, I put my hand on his chest and gave him a tiny push. “On your back, soldier.”
Chapter Seventeen
Maddox
I expected his mouth to be like those of the women who’d given me blow jobs in the past, but it wasn’t.
It was so very different.
In the best way.
He knew exactly how to tease, when to apply suction, when to ease up, which parts of my cock were just a little more sensitive than the others… it was like I was a finely tuned instrument and he knew exactly how to play me. But when he sucked me to the back of his throat, I lost all semblance of control and thrust my hips up. I immediately felt bad when Isaac gagged, but when I tried to drop my hips, his arms slid beneath my ass and he was sucking even more of me down. He swallowed around me and I shouted in response to the pleasurable sensation that raced up and down my spine and landed in my balls. I reached down to run my fingers through his hair and held onto him as I fucked his mouth. I used my elbow to lever myself up so I could watch him.
My heart flip-flopped crazily in my chest when his pretty blue eyes connected with mine. His gorgeous lips were stretched so wide it had to be uncomfortable, but his eyes were bright with so much pleasure that I didn’t try to pull out again. In fact, I slowed my strokes down so I could both watch and feel him working me. When I was on the verge of blowing, I forced him to release me and dragged him up my body. His weight felt so good on me and I couldn’t stop marveling over how soft and smooth his skin was. I suspected he waxed and while it should have seemed like a strange thing for a man, I loved it.
Even if I did wonder if part of the reason he did it was because of his occupation.
The reminder of what he’d been forced to do–and after having seen him at the center working and seemingly enjoying a regular job, I really did believe the prostitution had been something he hadn’t really had a choice in–didn’t belong between us, so I pushed it from my mind and just held him as we kissed. He slid his body up mine enough so that my cock was notched against his ass. I began bumping my hips up against his crease.
“I can’t wait,” Isaac ground out, then he was climbing off me. I was mesmerized by his body, hard cock included, as he rushed to grab his wallet from his discarded pants. He returned with a condom and packet of lube in hand and climbed on top of me. He kissed me and repeated, “I can’t wait.”
I was in the same boat, so I rubbed my hands up and down his supple thighs. “Then don’t,” I said. “Take what you need, Isaac. Anything, it’s yours.”
“God, Maddox, you gotta stop saying stuff like that,” he whispered hoarsely as he leaned down to kiss me gently. I didn’t really understand the statement but didn’t have time to dwell on it because he straightened and moved back enough so he could slide the condom down my length. Then he was tearing at the packet of lube. A little of it was smeared all over my sheathed cock, but the rest he put on two fingers. I felt my mouth go dry as he reached behind himself.
I’d never had anal sex with a woman, so I didn’t really know what to expect, but I knew at least some preparation with fingers was required. On the one hand, I was wound way too tight to learn exactly what it was Isaac needed when it came to being made ready, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to miss out on anything, either. So I sat up and wrapped an arm around Isaac’s waist to support him, then reached down to his ass with my other hand. Since my right hand was the injured one, I was using my left to explore what Isaac was doing to himself, so it was a little more awkward. Isaac was panting as he held my gaze. My fingers bumped up against his where they were sliding in and out of his body.
Two fingers.
Two slicked-up fingers.
More blood rushed to my cock at the knowledge that Isaac was fucking himself. I waited until he slid his fingers out and then gathered what lube rema
ined on the slim digits and began pressing one finger into him. Isaac’s hands landed on my shoulders as he threw his head back. His body didn’t fight my entry too much, so I was knuckle-deep in no time. He was so tight and hot I could have come then and there. I could feel the slickness of the lube inside of him as I explored his inner muscles.
“Another,” Isaac gasped right before he kissed me. I instinctively knew the second finger wouldn’t be accepted as easily, so I took my time working it into his body. Isaac was the one who began rocking his hips so he could fuck my fingers. I could feel his cock between us. He was leaking enough fluid from the tip that it was smearing across my own lubed cock.
“Need all of you,” Isaac said, then he was pushing me back down, forcing me to remove my fingers. He shifted forward and grabbed my cock. I let out a violent curse when the head of my dick was quickly swallowed into the tightest, hottest grip I’d ever known. I grabbed Isaac by the hips to help steady him as he carefully eased his body farther and farther down onto me. It seemed to take forever before his body completely swallowed my length, but he didn’t give himself time to adjust. His face was contorted into a mix of pleasure and pain as he lifted up and slowly slid back down again. It was all I could do not to pound up into him. Instead, I focused on how lost in his own body he was as he rode me. His hands skimmed over his neck and chest and down to his belly. I was reminded of when he’d been removing his clothes. He was in that same state where he seemed completely free. There was no coyness or faked moans and groans like some of the women I’d been with had been prone to do. No, every sound, every move was about pulling every ounce of pleasure out of his body that he could.
And in turn, he was doing the same to me.
As he began to alternate between rocking against me and bouncing on my dick, my orgasm began to wind its way along all my nerve endings. The sounds Isaac made just drove me higher. Grunts, whimpers, mewling sounds–they all combined to create a picture of a man who’d never been more at home in his skin as he was in that very moment.
Sanctuary Found_Pelican Bay [Book 2] Page 19
