by R. S. Lively
I laugh.
"I won't tell," I say.
Our eyes meet, and I feel the same pull between us that was there a year ago. I still can't resist her. No matter how hurt or angry I am, the attraction between us is still palpable. We're in such a strange position now, though. Less than a year ago we wanted two weeks of fun, distraction, and purely blissful strings-free sex. Now we have to find a way to navigate the life that's unfolded in front of us. Piper might say she doesn't need anything from me, but I'm determined to show her that she does.
Chapter Twelve
Piper
One week later…
I run through the article I wrote one last time, scouring it for any mistakes I might have made in my sleep-deprived state. In the days since Christian suddenly showed up, I've been able to take more time to concentrate on the writing projects I was assigned. Reading back through and fixing all the typos and errors, showed me how well juggling the needs of my newborn and new career was working out for me. Much of what I wrote in the days before he got here doesn’t make any sense, and I'm thankful for the quiet moments I have to read through it and make revisions before sending it in. I hate to admit how much having him here has helped out. Throughout my entire pregnancy, I told myself I didn’t need him, that I can do this on my own, especially with support from Tabitha and my friends. Though my other relatives are too old to be very involved, and the excitement and enthusiasm from my friends cooled somewhat after the first few days of Aurora being home, I still tried to reassure myself that I can make this work. I have to.
Now that Christian is here, it’s obvious just how much his presence makes a difference. It's not just having someone else to change her diaper or the bonus of being able to pump a bottle for her so Christian can feed her in the middle of the night and let me sleep. His presence brings back feelings and emotions I had worked so hard to push away. Just how he had made me feel free and adventurous in the two weeks we spent together last year, he makes me feel in control and centered now. Watching him interact with Aurora is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. His love for her is obvious and has been since the first time he held her in his strong arms. Many times, I find myself standing at the door of the room they’re in, just watching them together.
I don't really know what's going on between us right now. He sleeps in one of the spare bedrooms, and we haven't so much as touched each other in the days he's been here. But I can feel the heat inside me, and see the desire in his eyes. He looks at me the same way he did when we first met, but there is a new tenderness there that I know comes from the baby we now share. I’m the mother of his child now. We haven't talked about what all of this means, or even what we're going to do about the situation moving forward. It's like he showed up and we fell into a new pattern, just accepting it as it comes.
The day after he showed up on my porch, Christian explained to me that he had to leave because of his father's sickness. I can more than understand the worry he must have felt, considering what I went through with my own father's passing. Even though I feel like he has opened up a little more than before, I still have the feeling he's hiding something from me. There was something in the way he talked about his desperate need to go back to Cambria all those months ago that made me wonder if there was more to the story that he wasn’t telling me.
I'm reading through the article for what seems like the hundredth time, still hesitant about turning it in, when I hear someone knock on the front door. It strikes me as strange. No one knocks. I hear Christian answer it, speaking in a low voice to whoever is on the other side. Feeling uneasy, I get up from the desk I set up in another of the spare bedrooms and walk toward the door. Christian has Aurora rested on his shoulder and is standing in front of the door defensively. I see something in his hand, and he leans forward slightly as he continues talking to the person on the other side. Suddenly, he shuts the door and I see his head drop, his dark hair falling forward as he leans against the door in defeat.
"Christian. Who was that?"
He turns sharply. It's obvious he didn't realize I had come into the room, and he tries to hide the paper in his hand.
"What's that?" I ask, pointing to the paper.
Christian's chestnut-colored eyes are slightly wide, and I notice his hand on Aurora’s back is gripping her tight.
"Piper, I need to tell you something."
His voice is even, calm, but intensely serious. Nervousness pricks at the back of my neck as I nod.
"Alright."
He looks over at me, an inscrutable expression on his face.
"You should probably sit down for this."
"Is something wrong?"
I sit down on the couch, and I reach for Aurora, needing to hold her.
"She's asleep," he says. "I'm going to put her down."
When he comes back in the room, the paper in his hand is rolled like a scroll so I can't see what it is.
"What's going on, Christian? Who was that at the door?"
"It was a messenger from Cambria," he says.
I'm already confused.
"A messenger? Why would a messenger come here all the way from Cambria?"
"Piper, I told you there is something I need to tell you. I've needed to tell you since I met you, but I never found the right time or place."
"What?!" I demand before he can say anything else. "What is it?!"
I'm getting more anxious as the seconds continue to pass. I'm starting to shake.
"The messenger came to deliver an official communication from my parents – the King and Queen of Cambria."
I don't move. I don't speak. There's no way I heard him correctly.
"Excuse me?" I finally say.
"The messenger came to deliver –"
"No," I say, waving my hand at him. "No, I heard all that. I got the concept of a messenger. I mean the part about your parents."
Christian lets out a breath.
"My parents are the King and Queen of Cambria," he says.
"So… you're a fucking prince?" I screech, climbing to my feet. "That's what you never got around to telling me?"
I've referred to men as princes before, but always sarcastically. Now I'm trying to wrap my head around the idea that he's being serious right now.
"Yes," Christian says. "I didn't tell you when we first met because…"
"Because?"
"Because I didn't want you to know. There. Is that what you want to hear? I get really fucking tired of women falling all over me just because I'm a prince, and they have some sort of twisted tiara fantasies, or assholes trying to start something with me because they think it will earn them some sort of incredibly specific street cred. You didn't seem to know who I was, so I wasn't going to tell you. I was here to get away from all of that bullshit."
Apparently, his explicit language restrictions don't apply anymore. Either that or he thinks Aurora won't recognize the words through his slight European accent.
"And since then?" I ask. "After you realized we weren't immediately going to go our separate ways after that first night, you didn't think it was a good idea to tell me who you are? Do you lack the common courtesy to tell me the truth? Were you ever going to tell me? Is that the real reason you just up and left?"
"I left you a note, " he says. "I know you say you didn't find it, but I left it, and I said I needed to tell you something."
"Well, how magnanimous of you. You were going to humble yourself to tell me, a lowly peasant, but you had to leave me naked in bed so you could run home and take care of the ailing King."
"You don't understand," Christian says, standing up and taking a step toward me. "It's not as simple as me being a prince. When my father was sick, it was a dire situation. I had to go back right then because if he died—"
His voice trails off, but I know what he is saying. This is fucking unbelievable.
"Well, I couldn't possibly expect you to take time away from planning your coronation and royal ball to get in touch with me."
"Could you, for just one second, stop talking about me like I'm a spoiled child who went home to take a bath in diamonds and champagne? You know that’s not it."
He's right. I'm acting like a complete bitch, but I'm well past caring.
"That's not what you do?"
Christian takes another step toward me, gesturing pointedly at me as he speaks.
"I wanted to tell you," he says. "I wanted to tell you everything, but I never heard from you. Then when I found out you were pregnant, all I cared about was how fast I could get here to meet my child. I don't think you are really in a position to judge me for not being completely honest with you."
"You've been here a week," I point out angrily. "You showed up at my front door a week ago, and you haven't been able to slip it into a conversation somewhere?"
"Yes," I say, "I've been here a week, and every day I've tried to figure out the best time to tell you, and the best way. I didn't know if it was too late. I was worried it would complicate things just as we are getting to know each other again."
"So… what does the message say? I'm going to venture to say this is going to get pretty complicated."
He looks down at the scroll in his hand.
"This is from my parents," he says. "They are demanding that I come home—"
I interrupt him. "That's probably a good idea."
"…with Aurora."
My blood runs cold.
"What?" I say, barely able to squeeze the word out of my mouth through the painful tightness in my throat.
"They want me to return to Cambria, and present my child to them."
My body is shaking, and I feel drops of sweat starting to bead on my forehead.
"Present your child?" I ask incredulously. "How do they even know about my daughter?"
"Aurora is my daughter, too, Piper. That hasn't changed. It's not going to. You didn't stop me from being her father by not telling me you were pregnant, and you can't stop me now just because you don't like what you found out about me. They're my parents. I didn't tell them, but I assume my advisor did."
"Your advisor?" I ask. "You seriously have an advisor?"
"Yes," he says. "Frederik. He's been with my family since I can remember. I talk to him about almost everything. When I found out that you were pregnant, I was so shocked and hurt, I didn’t know what to do. I had to talk to someone. You wouldn't get in touch with me. Do you realize that if I hadn't found that interview, I probably never would have known I had a daughter? You could say I was pretty upset about the whole situation. So, I talked to him about it."
As I reflect back on the time we spent together, things are starting to make so much more sense. He always acts like the world belongs to him, because for all he knows, it does.
Holy shit.
"And he said you should sweep in here and take my daughter from me?"
"No," Christian says. "He said I should forget about you. He said you were a mistake I should put behind me, and that I should pretend I never found out about the baby."
"Charming," I say. "He sounds like exactly the type of person I'd want influencing me."
"Obviously, I didn’t listen to what he said, because I’m here, aren’t I? That's probably why he told my parents. He's very serious about his position, and he doesn't appreciate when I go against his advice. Which, frankly, is most of the time. We think very differently about life. I consider him more of a friend than an actual advisor. But regardless of why he told them, ultimately, they deserve to know. They are her grandparents, whether you like it or not. And because they're her grandparents," he takes a breath, "it means Aurora is royal. She’s a Princess of Cambria."
I scoff, shaking my head in disbelief. I'm horrified that Christian would even consider taking Aurora and bringing her back to Cambria with him, but I'm also incredulous at the situation. I've known since I first met him that he was arrogant and entitled, but he's taking it to a new level now.
"So, the fact that she’s royal means you get to tell anybody you want about her, even while we're still trying to figure things out? I don't get any say at all about who knows my private business?"
"She isn't your private business," Christian snaps. "You were in complete control of that knowledge during your pregnancy. And, I'd like to point out, you never actually told me about Aurora. I only found out because of the interview you did, so don't fucking lecture me.”
"I didn't know how you would feel about it," I say. "It's not like we had a long, meaningful relationship."
"That doesn't mean you should have kept her from me. But now that I know about her, she's not yours to control. Aurora is our child. She’s not some sort of game piece. You are her mother, but I'm also her father, and that means I have the right to figure out how she's going to fit into my life, regardless of how you feel about it. I've been here this entire week helping you with her and trying to be as respectful of your feelings, and of this situation, as I can, but to be totally honest with you, what you think doesn't impact my feelings about my child.”
"Oh," I say with a mirthless laugh, "I see how it is. I'm supposed to know my place. How dare I defy you? How dare I not know how to behave properly around you, mighty Prince? Am I supposed to worship you now? Do I need to call you Your Majesty?"
"This is exactly why I didn't fucking tell you from the beginning!" he explodes. "I've never treated you like anything less than me. Because I don't think that you are. But that doesn't mean my family doesn't matter, or that you can just ignore Aurora's heritage. Whether you like it or not, and whether you understand it or not, who I am, and who she is, matters. I know you want to be able to do all of this by yourself, but you have to admit you don't know what the future looks like for you. Especially in the position you're in, Piper. You can't just arbitrarily throw your future, and our child's, away for the sake of pretending to be strong and independent."
I'm so angry, I can't even speak. My hands clenched at my sides, I turn and run away from Christian. I go into my bedroom and lock the door behind me, scooping my baby into my arms and cradling her close. Tears start pouring down my cheek as I sit in the rocking chair, and hold her tight. I don't know what to do. This isn't how this was supposed to happen. I never imagined being a mother, but now that I have Aurora in my arms, the thought of anyone taking her from me is unbearable. I want my daughter to know who she is, and her family, but how do I let her do that when it means I could lose her to a life I can't even begin to imagine?
Christian
I stomp out of the house, slamming the door behind me, and let out an angry yell. I feel completely helpless, and I’ve always hated that feeling. I've never felt so conflicted, so confused about anything in my life, and I don't know what to do. The feelings I have for Piper are different than anything I've ever felt for another woman, and I can't deny how much I love my child. This isn't the life I envisioned, but I can't change it, and I can't pretend it didn't happen.
I force myself to get under control before walking back into the house. I make my way to the bedroom, but the door is locked shut. Clenching my teeth against the surge of anger I feel, I knock.
"What?" Piper says.
"I need to talk to you," I say through the door, as calmly as I can.
"I don't have anything to say to you," she says.
"Yes, you do. I have some things I need to say to you, too. We have to talk about this. You can't just sit in a locked room and pretend it's not happening. That's not going to make it go away."
"I don't think it's going to make it go away," she snaps. "But it might make you go away."
"Is that really what you want, Piper? Do you want me to walk out of your house like we never met? Because that's not what I want. I can't just go back there and act like my life is the same it has always been. It's not, and it never will be. And that’s okay."
After a few tense, silent seconds, I hear the door unlock, and it opens slightly. I push it the rest of the way open and step into the room. Cradling Aurora in her arms, Piper stands in f
ront of me.
Looking at her, I realize all the anger from earlier has vanished. Now I just want to figure this all out between us.
"You're not going to take her from me," she says.
Shaking my head, I step toward her.
"I don't want to take her from you," I say. "You're her mother. I would never do that to you, Piper. I enjoyed every day I've spent with you, and now we are linked through this baby, our precious baby, forever. No matter what happens between us, our lives won’t ever be truly separate because of her. We have to figure out some way to make this work. We have to create some sort of relationship that will give her the best life possible. But we also have to make sure she has a relationship with everyone in her life who cares about her, and that includes my parents, as well as Tabitha. Aurora deserves to know my side of the family, and my mother and father deserve what might be their only chance of a grandchild."
"Their only chance?" Piper asks. "You're an only child, too?"
"No," I say. "Well, yes."
Her eyes narrow with frustration.
"Which one is it? Are you trying to hide something from me? You can’t be an only child but not.”
"Yes, I can. I wasn't born an only child. I had an older brother, Nicholas. He died. I'm all that's left."
I can't go into any more detail about it. Not now. There's too much already going on, and I’m feeling too emotionally strained as it is. I don't want to talk about Nicholas or what happened to him, or what his death meant for my family. I've already shown too much emotion in front of Piper as it is.
"I'm so sorry, Christian," Piper says.
"Thank you. But now you understand better why it matters so much for my parents to meet Aurora. They think of her as their future, too.”
I can see Piper is thinking about everything I just said. She looks conflicted and worried, but the anger in her eyes has softened. Finally, she looks over at me and nods.
"Alright," she says.
Her voice is so low, I almost don't hear her.
"Alright?" I confirm.
