by Brent, Amy
“Do you mean that?”
Her eyes danced around my face before she pressed a soft kiss to my lips.
“With everything I am,” she said.
I cloaked her in my arms and pulled her in for another kiss. Despite everything going on, a happiness like none other took over me. It washed over my body as our tongues collided, and it grew the second Ana wrapped her body around mine. She latched her legs around my hips and laced her arms around my neck, pulling me back down to my desk.
Nothing could take that moment away from me.
I lay there, my body blanketing hers as it accepted my chiseled form. Her softness molded to me, the darkness of the night draped over us. I reached over and turned off my work lamp, shutting off the only light source in the room.
Then I kissed Ana’s neck and listened as she sighed with relief.
This was how every day of my life should have been—snuggled up to the woman I loved and making love to her in every place my life took me. This was how my life needed to feel. This was what I had been missing. Nothing about my business or my clients or my money mattered if I didn’t have her to share it with.
I kissed down her breasts. I teased her nipples with my tongue. I slid to my knees and parted her legs, then massaged her pussy folds with my thumb.
As I dipped my tongue into her body and felt her rock against me, she chanted the one phrase I never wanted to stop hearing, the one phrase that sent my cock jolting to life and ready for another round with her: “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
She came with that sentiment on her tongue, and I drank down the essence of the woman who had me, heart and soul, for as long as she wanted me.
“I love you too,” I said as I kissed her thighs. “I love you so much.”
Ana
Typing away on my work computer, I was trying to quickly send off some files. I had the design mockups ready for the experts at Bloomingdale’s, and the quicker I could get the designs to them, the quicker we could get this deal off the ground. I attached as many to the email as I could before opening more emails and sending them off in chunks of seven.
Inspiration had poured over me throughout the week, and I was really excited to get their feedback and have the designs narrowed down so I could dive into the details of the look.
“Hey, Brody.”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“You wanna go to Switch and Go for lunch?”
“Oh, can we? Can we, can we?”
“Of course we can. I just suggested it,” I said, laughing.
“Can I get the really big sandwich this time?”
“Can you eat the really big sandwich this time?”
“It could be dinner.”
“I like how you think, Son.”
Once I sent off the last email, I scooped him into my arms. Switch and Go was Brody’s favorite place to eat. He got his love of sandwiches and soups from me, and between the two of us, we practically kept that place in business. I spun my son around, showering his face with kisses before I reached over and pressed the button to shut my computer down.
“Ready to go?” I asked.
“Oh yeah. I’m starving.”
“I bet you are by now.”
We headed out of the store and made our way to the restaurant. It wasn’t even a mile away from the office, so we walked there hand in hand. I loved these moments with my son, when the two of us were on a journey together and he clutched my hand tighter and tighter. No matter how old he got, I would always remember my son like this: a wide-eyed, curious, and tentatively shy eight-year-old boy with bright eyes like his father, shaggy hair I could never tame, and a stature that boasted of an age two years ahead of where he was.
Wrapping my arm around him, I pulled him close, and he nuzzled into me.
“Whatcha gonna get to eat?” I asked.
“The ham and cheese big sandwich with lots of pickles and mustard.”
“That sounds absolutely gross.”
“Because you hate pickles, Mom.”
“Don’t breathe on me after lunch,” I said.
“But that’s the fun part.”
I giggled and kissed the top of his head. We walked into the sandwich shop, and the woman behind the counter recognized us instantly. She pulled out the bread we always ordered and then passed us two unsweetened blackberry teas. Brody piped up with pride in his voice as he changed his order.
“Make mine a big one. With chips,” he said.
“Oh, deviating from the norm, I see,” the woman said.
“He wants the big one, so we’ll give him the big one,” I said.
“Ana?”
I never thought such joy could drain from my body in a heartbeat, but in that moment it did. I felt my face pale as the woman behind the counter gave me an inquisitive look. No. I couldn’t have heard that voice. It must’ve been a mistake. Maybe there was another Ana in here.
“Ana.”
Hearing his voice again shot fear through my veins. Holy shit. Tyler had walked into our sandwich shop. He hated soups and sandwiches. What the hell was he doing in a place like this? I slipped my arm from around Brody and slowly turned around, shuffling myself in front of him.
“Mom, what’s wrong?” he asked.
“Mom?” Tyler asked, his eyebrows hiking up.
There was no going back from this moment. My eyes settled on Tyler as I drew in a deep breath, trying to figure out how the hell I’d get myself out of this situation. He couldn't find out he had a son, not like this.
But he could find out I had a son like this.
“Tyler.”
“Who’s Tyler?” Brody asked.
My son stepped out beside me, and I held my hand out to stop his movements. Tyler’s eyes danced between my face and his son’s face as I held my breath. Shock ran over his features. Confusion furrowed his brow. His face paled as well and he swallowed thickly, then slowly turned his gaze back to me.
“What kind of cheese would you like?”
I turned around and shot the woman behind the counter a look before Brody piped up.
“Pepper jack, please,” he said.
“Good choice. That’s my favorite,” Tyler said.
“Tyler, I’d like you to meet my son, Brody.”
“Your son,” he said.
“Mom, who is this?” Brody asked.
“You know the friend I’ve been going and talking with some nights?” I asked.
“Oh. This is your friend?”
“It is,” I said.
Tyler’s eyes held mine with an expression I couldn’t read. My stomach lurched. My heart dropped to my toes. This wasn't going to end well. It was obvious whose child Brody was. If everyone else saw it, I knew Tyler saw it.
But it didn’t stop me from praying he didn’t.
“Thank you for letting me borrow your mother once in a while. I’m back in town after going away to college, and I missed her,” Tyler said.
“It’s fine. Aunt Kristi’s been watching me,” Brody said.
“I went to school with your Aunt Kristi. Do you like her?” Tyler asked.
“She’s my favorite. She brings me all the things Mom won’t let me eat.”
“She what?” I asked.
Tyler’s chuckle was polite, but his eyes were still prying. He was in digging mode. I recognized that face.
It was the same face he gave me at the bar where we first ran into one another.
“How old are you, Brody?” Tyler asked.
“I’m eight.”
Fuck. My ship was sunk.
“That’s a good age. Are you taking good care of your mother?” Tyler asked.
“I try, but she doesn't let me. She says I have to be a kid,” Brody said.
“It’s important to be a kid. But it’s also important to look out for those you love.”
Tyler’s eyes panned to mine, and I had to hold back tears. I felt like shit.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I saw you
walk in and figured I’d come say hello,” Tyler said.
“Can he eat with us?” Brody asked.
“No. I think Tyler’s got some things to do. Right?”
“I do. I took an early lunch break, but I saw your mother and wanted to come say hello. Brody, it was very nice meeting you,” Tyler said.
He took a step forward and bent down, then held out his hand for his son. A son he didn’t even know was his. Brody took his hand and shook it, and the contact lasted a little longer than I wanted. Tyler looked at Brody with a sparkle in his eye that made me uncomfortable. This wasn’t the time or the place to have this conversation, but the interaction solidified my next move.
When I got Tyler alone again, I had to tell him about Brody.
“Maybe you can come over one day and play water balloon fight with us,” Brody said.
“I’d love nothing more,” Tyler said.
The warmth in his voice made me bite back a whimper. Tyler got to his feet, his eyes lingering on my body a little more than I would’ve liked. He scanned my body, his eyes stopping at my stomach before he cocked his head.
Shit.
He knew.
“It was nice to see you, Ana,” he said.
His eyes finally moved up to mine, and I nodded.
“Nice to see you, too, Tyler.”
“I’ll talk with you soon?” he asked.
I nodded, then threaded my arm around Brody and pulled him close to me. Tyler turned on his heels and walked out, but his shoulders seemed a little less confident, a little slumped compared to the height he normally walked with. I closed my eyes and let out the breath I was holding, my heart aching with every step away from us he took.
Brody had just met his father and he had no fucking clue. What kind of person was I?
“Let’s get our sandwiches and sit down. Okay?” I said.
“Why are you about to cry, Mom?”
“I’m not. I’m just a little tired.”
“I know what it sounds like when you’re about to cry.”
“And how do you know that?” I asked.
“Because I take care of you sometimes.”
I furrowed my brow at his comment as I looked down at his beautiful face.
“What do you mean, sweetheart?”
“Well, sometimes you sit at the kitchen table and cry. And sometimes you cry in the shower.”
“How is that taking care of me, honey?”
“I sit out of sight so you don’t cry alone, Mommy.”
The tears rushed my eyes and there was no more holding them back. I bobbed my head up and down as I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. I fluttered my eyes closed and cleared my throat, then guided Brody to the sandwich service counter where I paid for our food. After grabbing our tray with the sandwiches, chips, and drinks, we sat down in our regular booth in the corner.
Maybe I wasn’t the good mother I thought I was.
Maybe I really was the terrible mother of my fears.
Tyler
My encounter with Ana in the sandwich shop weighed heavily on my mind the whole damn day. It distracted me from work and made me zone out during client phone calls. It even made me lose my place when looking over contracts for Brandon.
Brandon.
That’s what I needed, to talk to Brandon.
“Hey there. You done looking over those—”
“Can we get a drink tonight?” I asked, interrupting him.
“Sure. Is everything okay?”
“I’ve got a shit ton on my mind and I need to bounce it off someone.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been looking over these contracts. We can talk about what I’ve found when we sit down. Just—if I lock up shop now, can you meet me at Varnish?”
“Wait. You’re still at the office? It’s almost nine o’clock.”
“It’s been a very distracting day,” I said.
“I’m leaving my apartment now. It was an early day for me, believe it or not. See you in fifteen?”
“Make it ten.”
I gathered all my things and locked down my office. Then I raced to my car and tossed my things into the back. I had to be crazy. What was going through my mind couldn't possibly be true. Ana would have told me. She wasn’t that type of woman.
Then again, everyone kept telling me that eight years changed a lot about someone.
Eight years.
Brody was eight years old.
I rushed into the bar and ordered a stiff drink. I slammed it back and ordered another one as a familiar person slid into the seat next to me. I sighed at his presence as I took my drink in my hand. Brandon ordered himself a beer before he turned to me.
“I can smell the first one on your breath already,” he said.
“You’re judging me for my drinking now?” I asked.
“Not judging. Merely mentioning. You drove here, right?”
“I’ll be able to drive back.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” he said.
“So, I was looking over your contract—”
“We can talk about that later. Right now you need to spill what’s going on in your head,” he said.
I drew in a deep breath as my shoulders slumped.
“I ran into Ana today,” I said.
“Did it not go well?”
“She had her son with her.”
Brandon set his beer down as he choked on his first sip.
“Could you not have waited until I had swallowed?” he asked hoarsely.
“Sorry.”
“So, she had who in tow?” he asked.
“Her son.”
“Ana has a son?”
“You’re acting like you didn’t know she had a son.”
“I didn’t know she had a son.”
“You’re telling me that you’ve lived here all your life—that your family runs in the same circle as her family does—and you didn’t know she had a son?” I asked.
“At least you know what she’s hiding now,” he said.
“How did you not know she had a son?”
“Because she wasn’t my friend in high school, Tyler. You dated her, but that didn’t mean I got on with her. I only did because you were dating her, and I did even more so I could bang her best friend, but we didn’t keep in touch after the two of you broke up. How shitty of a friend would that have made me?”
“So you weren’t hiding this from me.”
“Hell no. If I’d known she had a son, I would’ve been the first to tell you.”
I sighed and leaned my elbow on the table as I sipped my whiskey.
“She has a son. An eight-year-old son.”
“Wait, what? Did you say eight?” Brandon asked.
My eyes settled on his, and I nodded my head.
“You don’t think—?”
“I have no fucking clue what to think,” I said.
“She could’ve had a rebound fling.”
“Ana doesn’t strike me as that kind of woman.”
“She also didn’t strike you as a fucking mother, and look where we’re sitting.”
He had a point—a point I couldn't deny.
“What did the boy look like?” Brandon asked.
“Uh, brown hair. Blue eyes I think. Or maybe green. Maybe they were hazel?”
“You mean to tell me you ran into your ex and her eight-year-old son this afternoon and you can’t recall what the hell the kid looks like?”
“Sorry if I was a little blindsided by the fact that the woman I love is a mother!”
The bar fell silent and the bartender shot me a look.
“Sorry,” I said.
“What did she say? Do you know who the father is?” Brandon asked.
“She didn’t say anything, just stared at me with this shocked expression before she introduced me to her son, Brody. I directed most of my conversation at him after that.”
“Why?”
“Because he kept asking me questions.”
“Like
…?”
“If I wanted to come over and play,” I said flatly.
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah. After the thoroughly awkward moment was over, I bent down and shook his hand. And, Brandon, the way it felt, the way he looked at me…there was something there. I don’t even know how to explain it.”
“You think he’s your son.”
“I don’t know what to think, Brandon. I really don’t.”
“No wonder you’ve been so fucking distracted today,” he said.
“I need to know who his father is. I need to know if he’s my son.”
“Then ask Ana. At this point, she kind of owes you some answers.”
“Just ask her? Show up at her house and knock on her door until she answers?”
“Well, she can’t really keep you from coming in. You know what she’s been hiding now.”
“What if she’s hiding a husband or a baby daddy behind those doors as well?” I asked.
“Then she’s not the girl you fell in love with and you’ve dodged a bullet.”
I threw the rest of my second drink back and considered Brandon’s words. The issue was, I didn’t agree with him. Having any child with Ana would’ve been incredible. But having a son with her? That was every man’s primal dream: to drag his curvy queen back to his lair and fuck her until she bore him a son. Was that what I had done?
Did Ana and I have a son together?
“Why would she hide something like this from me?” I asked.
“Relax. You don’t know if it’s your kid,” Brandon said.
“Then play along with me. If Brody is my son, why the hell would she hide this from me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she was upset from your argument?”
“But that doesn’t negate trust. Did she not trust me with this? Did she not think I would stay behind and help her as much as I could? I could’ve gone to school here in L.A. and stayed with her and Brody, no questions asked.”
“Maybe that was the issue.”
“What?” I asked.
“Look, I get that your vision is sort of clouded right now, but think of this in terms of Ana. Now, I don’t know what kind of woman she is today, but I sort of know the kind of girl she was in high school, and that girl bent over backward to make you happy. Remember the time she snuck into that R-rated horror movie with you and it wasn’t until after that you found out she wasn’t going to sleep for weeks?”
